BEGIN AGAIN Artist: Taylor Swift

 

I woke up in my bed feeling a little bit nostalgic and hopeful. It’s been years? A long range of months? Or has it been too long since I have a companion here beside me. A companion in which I can share the intensity of my loving stares. The lone figure in which my eyes will land the moment it opens to welcome a new day. Tyler and I have broken up, well we dated for 8 months. It’s been a little different. So scripted that you can’t barely feel the tinge of welcoming a new adventure. It feels so formal, a little bit too straight. By the time we have realized that we are indeed not in par with each other, we knew that our relationship is still going yet we are not contributing to the future of it. Well, I believe in love way past before I met him.

 

Was love worth everything? Does it conquers the boundaries of yourself? I don’t know exactly why when you are in love, you feel like you will do anything to please that person. Sacrifices make it so surreal. Like a phenomenon happening in the reality that has been brought up from the hard binds of the books. Yet even though, sacrifices in love made all the spectators’ heart into a barrage of beating surges, Sacrifices, hurts you. But if you will look at it in a positive perspective, Sacrifices made love worthwhile. It gave life a meaning not just waking up in the morning, brewing the coffee in a machine.  Reading some newspapers, watching some news and even stalking at your next door neighbor. It gave you this up and down feeling, enjoyment, and thrill. And that relationship with Tyler contradicts all of this. No sacrifices, no consideration and I don’t know if I loved him. He is rich, a smart guy. Pretty much not good in terms of looks but he has a nice voice, he enunciates English pretty well. But he is not my cup of tea.

 

When I said that I have been in love before Tyler, it is not a mere high school crush or a disclosed affection with the prettiest boy in class, we are in a relationship where it both consumes us. Typical people will say that it is just the past, so let it stay there. But no, never did I put that memory of her tanned skin, shining its glory towards those pale ones it contrasted. Her amazing raven locks which flows perfectly, framing her small face. Those eyes that I never fail to gaze upon when she wakes me up. The way she crinkles her eyes showing those little creases on its side when she laughs like a little kid. I bet my lame jokes are so funny to her that even her head fell down with it. Tyler does not find it funny, and yet she does. I miss her.

 

As I stare longingly in my window, I realized, she is everything. A gold within my grasp, an obvious treasure but I chose to throw away.

 

 

“Don’t wear heels. Wear flats.”  Yuri said to me as she settles in the couch. Grabbing the remote control. Switching the channels that interests her. I stared at my feet, I like wearing heels. She feels a little bit annoyed when she saw me strutting with my mini dress and the heels she loathed.

 

“Why?” I pouted.

 

“That gala will be long and I don’t want you straining that sensitive skin in your feet. I am not going to be there to guide you.” She replied nonchalantly, never giving me an eye contact. Her subtle concern is making me giddy and the butterflies are loose again. Even though I like to wear heels, I never said that I loved it. So I hopped out of it and sat beside her, staring lovingly at her side profile. She has this perfect nose and perfect lips and everything about her is so perfect you can mistake her as a god.

 

“What are you looking at?” she asked, earning me a smile.

 

“Look.” I gestured at my feet. She took a brief look at it, and yes, she smiled.

 

“Good. Wear flats.”

 

 

As I visit my past in a short span of time, for the first time ever since I broke up with her due to my ever present insecurity that our relationship is so perfect it will go wrong, I felt happy. And once again, it was all her. Even though it’s just memories. I chuckled a little looking at my shoe closet, I bet she will be elated seeing that my shoe collection span from a wide range of flat shoes.

 

I indulged myself in a soothing hot bath before I set off for my work. I work as a writer in a famous publishing house now, my pay has been great and it gave me a feeling of being permanent. I love my job and all I need is a listening ear to fill with my useless rambles about new ideas for a new book. Not the kind of J.K Rowling popularity but at least my novels sells. Taeyeon and Tiffany, me ever supportive best friends are living just below my apartment and I can never ask more in my life. Well, I think I can at least have that one wish?

 

“Hey.” I beamed at Yuri like a kid, waving my cold hands for her to notice me. She is so much into her morning coffee that she did not notice me at all. Magnificent and sophisticated, she looks exactly like that now. With her ear muffs and her coat. Her black car giving her a leaning aid.

“Hey, ready to go?” my angel smiled at me. Hugged me and kissed my temples before opening the car door for me. Her car smells like a mixture of mint and winter. By the time we drove off, I automatically reached for the mp3 player of the car. Playing my f