Some parts of Kira were out in the open for Baekhyun to see, but there were also hidden parts, parts that she never wants Baekhyun to even glaze his eyes over.

The start- shunned.

Small, alone, afraid, intimidated.

Eleven year old Kira realised how sheltered she was before this. Primary school was a breeze because her childhood friend was there. Besides, children don't judge. As long as you knew how to play, you're safe.

When she was eleven, her family moved to a completely different state. Unfamiliar faces and places greeted her. It was exciting at first- new uniform, new sceneries, new people, everything was new and she was mesmerized by it all. As days passed, she has learnt more than she expected.

Eleven year olds were mean.

Kira didn't know what she did wrong. Was she too silent that it disturbed the other kids? What did she do that was odd?

Why did that girl give a panicked look to the teacher when he said I was her partner? Why did she want to change partners when I was seated right next to her? What is wrong with me?

Weeks became months. If she was considered silent before, she was mute now. An eleven year old to be friend-less should be worrying, right?

As a last resort, her eyes that were full of pity always lingering on her a little longer than Kira was comfortable with, her homeroom teacher introduced a buddy system. Everyone was assigned a buddy, and basically, you're forced to interact with your buddy. It only saddened Kira even more because the only reason she had a friend was through force.

Nonetheless, they became close- Kira and her buddy Haesoo. She was sweet, friendly, polite, never forgets her books, and every teacher's favourite student. These two eleven year old girls did suffer unbearable awkward silences, and it actually stayed that way for years. Sometimes, Kira thinks that the only reason they were friends was because they see each other every day.

Heartless.

Her friendship with Haesoo was put on halt. A new girl joined her class- a girl just as short, and most importantly, a girl who shared the same view of the world as her. Kira and Yujin clicked immediately, and Kira couldn't be happier. For the first time, she genuinely felt wanted. She felt like she mattered for once. And that was apparently what she desired all along.

Unfortunately, something as simple as true friendship was too valuable for Kira.

Every year, the school organized a graduation trip for all sixth grade students. It was quite a special event because for most of them, it'd be the first time they'll be out together without their parents. Everyone was thrilled, even Kira who liked staying at home.

She should have stayed at home.

Stubborn tears were swimming in her eyes as she stared at the scene unfolding in front of her. She swallowed so hard she felt screamed in pain.

Why was Yujin crying? Did she not want to share a room with Kira so badly?

Kira has never been so confused, so hurt, so betrayed. It was suffocating to feel this way as a child. For some reason the teacher messed up the room arrangements, and the girls Kira was supposed to room with were switched with Yujin. Kira and Yujin didn't share the same excitement.

Yujin cried and even begged the teacher to room her with a girl she wasn't even close with. "Please," she said, gasping for air, tears rolling down her cheeks. "I want to be in the same room with Gayoung." The unspoken words were "I don't want to be stuck with Kira." And all of this happened in front of said girl. Do you know how much it hurt? Especially for a 12 year old, the age where they're sensitive, vulnerable, and where they took everything to heart.

In her short years of living, Kira has never felt this heartbroken. It literally felt like her heart was ripped out of her chest and torn into pieces like some useless trash.

How could Yujin do this to her? Weren't they best friends?

The teacher looked alarmed at the situation. She expected the two friends to happily skip into their rooms. Ms. Kim turned to Kira, her eyes full of question marks, but Kira could only stare dumbly back.

Kira never moved from her spot, just stared at Yujin in betrayal and the tiniest, teeniest bit of concern.

She watched as Ms Kim comforted Yujin, rubbing comforting circles into her back, and despite herself, she felt angry. Heck, Kira even felt jealous.

Why was this adult, this role model, pitifully comforting her? Shouldn't she be comforting me for having to stand here and endure this humiliation?

And just like that, Kira retreated back into her shell again. It took her about a year for her to get out, but only a few minutes to run back into that damned shell.

Yujin transferred schools the following year, and Kira actually felt glad. She could not face her anymore. She could not face the person that made her feel worthless and alone.

Rock bottom.

With Yujin gone, Kira attempted to patch up her friendship with Haesoo. However, she already had her own best friend, so Kira felt like an outsider all over again. Also they weren't forced to be friends, so she didn't want to intrude in their tight friendship.

Hormones and all that stupid that teens go through made her life a living hell at school. Kira didn't mind being alone, but she loathed feeling lonely. That feeling of emptiness was always there like a boulder chained to your ankle you had to drag around.

Everything she felt was amplified, and it was a pain in the .

The loneliness soon ate her alive.

She went to sleep crying.