You're afraid.

You're afraid of a lot of things. A hundred and one. Spiders lurking in the corners of your room,  blood rushing out of your body and killing you in the process. Failing a test and going to your school . Needles and injections. Clowns. Chainsaws due to the Chainsaw Massacre. Poking your eyes. Accidentally stabbing yourself or anyone else. The ground opening up to swallow you whole.

But today, you're more than afraid. You're fearful. The idea of running out of time has long been haunting you, and what you're doing right now is worsening your situation. The ghost of the memories he left for you has come once again, wrapping you in a painful solace of judgement and drowning you in the ocean of regrets.

You look around you. You spot cheerful teenagers each beaming their own smiles and for the hundredth time of you life, you envied them. You envied how they can idolize him without holding back themselves. You envied the way they scream out his name in complete synchronization, pouring every ounce of strength into forming one loud cheer. You envied how they grinned and how this concert for them was a dream come true. You envied the way these strangers became faithful fans for him. Most of all, you envied them because you know they can't hurt him as much as you did.

The lights . The vast area of the dome glowed. The highlight was still on the boys, yet they're no longer performing. They're thanking the fans who came for their concert. Bangtan Sonyeondan, the boys who rose to stardom in spite of coming from a small company. They are well-known for doing the impossible and breaking prejudices. Bangtan Sonyeondan, a seven-member group, and Min Yoongi is one of them.

He is far away from you. Thanks to the widescreens planted on the stage, you can see him clearly. You have chosen the farthest seat not because you can't afford the VIP one, but because you still find it antagonizing to look at his face.

It was his turn now. The camera focused on Yoongi and you tried very hard not to look away. He was barely recognizable. He seemed like a different person- all grown up and made to fit the standards of an idol. His passion for music was still there, burning brighter now. The flame that was born from countless nights of making the melodies and rhythm match is oozing in his aura.

He was still the same Min Yoongi you met five years ago, but at the same time, a lot has changed. He was still the scraggly petite boy you used to know the best, but at the same time you don't know him anymore. Are his favorites still the same? Does he still hate the taste of raisins? Does he still sing himself to sleep? Does he still have trouble sleeping so he writes music instead? Does he still get extremely cold during winter? 

And you wonder once again. A big dark question mark sprawled itself on the back of your head and began feasting on your doubts. You turned around and then turned back after convincing yourself that everything is alright. Everything's fine and you're not panicking.

The ladies behind you stared at you. For them, you're identical to a lunatic. He's out there, giving his speech, humbly saying his gratitude, but why ar