“Good morning~ It is 7 a.m.! Time to get up~”, the overly joyful voice of a nurse followed the sharp knock on the door. I just blankly stared at it.
How could someone working in a mental health station be so enthusiastic? Was it just an act to remind the patients, what they were supposed to be like? Was it really desirable to be like that? Or was the nurse just really happy because she wasn’t the one that had to stay in this facilities 24/7 for who knows how long? That on the other hand I could understand just to well. I made my experiences with these kinds of institutions. White walls decorated with artworks of long gone patients. Group rooms and pre-made, disgusting food. That was what would await me every day from now on for the next weeks…
If only I could keep the thoughts away, maybe everything would be different now. Why couldn’t I be more like my friends? Why was I so different?
‘Why can’t I be better?’ It always came back to that question and I didn’t know how to answer it.

To get my thoughts straight again I shook my head and dug my nails into my wrist. I’ve been awake for nearly two hours already and had used the time to get ready in the group bathroom, enjoying the silence and solitude. My roommate, a young woman in her mid-twenties, in contrast was still soundly asleep.
After staring at her a few minutes, wondering if I should try to wake her up, I decided against it. If I’d be able to sleep like that at least one night, I would be thankful, so what right did I have to wake her up? Also I’ve never been good with strangers and even though this was my second day as roommates I had not spoken a single word with anybody yet.

 After trying to read a few pages in the book my parent had brought for me from home, I decided to go into the stations group and meal time room to see if I could help with setting the table.
That was another arrangement I didn’t feel comfortable with. A nurse had explained that a stable timetable and shared meals where good for health and also for the groups mood. But I still very much disliked the meal times. Not only was the food disgusting and I felt uncomfortable eating in front of others, it also was way too loud with almost 20 young adults talking to each other and you had to stay at the table for at least 15 minutes.
Again I dug my nails into my arm. Simply thinking about the awaiting situation was making me feel like hell.

Slowly, my head bent and carful to only look onto the ground I made my way to the mentioned room in hope of being the first one so I could enjoy my solitude a little longer. But as usual my wish was ignored by the universe.. In said room a masculine figure was already busily setting the table. For a short moment I considered just going back into my bedroom and waiting until it was time for breakfast, but then the guy looked up and I managed to get out an almost non-audible, choked: “Can I help you with that?”.

The guy flashed me a smile I can only describe as ‘gummy’. It showed his white teeth and transformed his eyes into crescents, making him appear almost unbearable kind and sympathetic. In that moment, admittedly a little delayed, I also realised how attractive the guy was. He was slim, but muscular. His shoulders were broad but not bulky. He was obviously attractive but on first impression not arrogant and his hands, which were holding some plates, had slim and long fingers suitable for an artist. What was someone like him doing in a clinic for mentally not completely unscathed people? A person as good looking as him couldn’t possibly have any problems in life, right? Maybe he was an intern? Or possibly... a nurse?

“Sure, thank you. Can you get the food from the kitchen?”. His voice was just as beautiful as his appearance. The deep, slightly smoky voice was soothing and friendly and I wanted him to keep talking to me to make me forget everything but that voice.
But instead I just nodded and rather hastily made my way out of the room to find the kitchen, still wondering about the cause of his presence at a place like this…

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I hope you like this chapter! And thank you for subscribing to this story to all 6 of you! It means a lot to me!

What do you think? Any thing I should take into consideration when writing the next chapter? Any requests? Maybe an idea for a nice name for the oc?

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