Chapter 29: Who’s in love? Not me!

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Jackson talks to Jinyoung and realises a few things.

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Jinyoung’s lips are slightly pursed as he makes a humming sound, but there’s no comment on Jackson’s admission, that Jackson might maybe (just maybe) like JB. Sinking into his seat, Jackson brings his hands up to cover his face. Already he can feel the warmth rushing to his face from saying the thought out loud – the thought that might have been subconsciously forming in his head this whole day, from the morning when JB helped him put on the harness, to Yugyeom’s casual question in the afternoon about whether he was in a couple outfit with JB, and finally solidifying just now when Jinyoung asked if he’s interested in JB directly.

Jinyoung hasn’t say anything, just waits patiently while he rubs his face. Jackson feels half frustrated and half embarrassed, although what he’s embarrassed about, he’s not entirely sure. He’s thinking over this when Jinyoung reaches over, offering a comforting touch, and Jackson looks up. Taking Jinyoung’s hand into his, Jackson makes himself give a small smile he doesn’t quite feel, before he jests, “I’m being stupid right now, aren’t I?”

There’s a moment when Jinyoung just stares at him, before he brings his other hand to cover Jackson’s, and he mumbles, “I don’t know. Why do you think you’re being stupid?”

“…aren’t I?” Jackson hears himself answer reflexively, before he takes a moment to think. Closing his eyes tightly shut, Jackson recollects his thoughts before he answers more seriously, “I… didn’t even realise I was…interested in JB until you said it aloud. Or maybe… maybe I knew it subconsciously but I didn’t really want to register it in the front of my mind.”

That was probably the truth, and the minute it’s out, Jackson feels a little better, although he still slumps a little and let his head drop. Jinyoung doesn’t even really look surprised at his admission, but then again, he was the one who had vocalized what Jackson was feeling before he could admit it, so that’s probably why. Jinyoung’s hands are still on his, now rubbing soothing circles and Jackson’s getting lulled into the comfortable silence when Jinyoung suddenly asks, “So… what do you like about Jaebum?”

Jackson feels his eyes widen. He hadn’t expected Jinyoung to ask that, but the question made him think. He’s not entirely sure, to be honest (or maybe he subconsciously has an idea but he hasn’t fully examined it for himself). Stalling for time, Jackson raises an eyebrow at Jinyoung, “Funny that you’re asking me this question. What did you like about JB last time?”

Jinyoung’s dramatic eyeroll is to be expected, but Jackson finds it amusing all the same.

“We’re not here to talk about me,” Jinyoung points out, and Jackson wants to ask why not, wants shift the focus away from himself, which makes him think all the more he shouldn’t. Sighing, Jackson decides to ask softly, “Are you, you know, okay?”

“Okay about what?” Jinyoung asks around a mouthful of fries he steals from Jackson’s plate (which to be honest, he isn’t really eating anymore, so he’s not complaining).

“I don’t know, me liking JB?” His voice sounds too hesitant, and Jackson doesn’t dare to look up to see Jinyoung’s reaction after he made himself utter the worry he has had on his mind.

There’s a little pause, and Jackson hears Jinyoung swallow (probably the fries he had been eating, don’t think too much, Jackson, he chides himself), and then, “If you’re hesitating because of me for any reason, just, don’t. I’m over Jaebum already; he’s just a friend now.”

It’s not like he didn’t already know this, but Jackson still feels a little better after hearing Jinyoung’s words.

The conversation drifts into easier grounds afterward – work, Bambam and his family – and Jackson finds himself laughing along with Jinyoung about random stuff again. He almost forgets about what they were talking about earlier during dinner, until Jinyoung suddenly asks, “So, you didn’t answer me just now. What do you like about Jaebum?”

“Uh,” Jackson fumbles, reaching for his drink only to find that it’s empty (probably from when he had needed a drink from laughing too hard earlier while talking about Bambam and his usual antics), “I