Chapter 10: When you have a bad day

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JB's pov.
This isn't a good day for JB, but can it get worse?

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When JB sees Jackson walking towards him once lunch break ends, he hopes the guy would just pass by, but instead, Jackson stops in front of him. When it’s clear that Jackson wants to have a word with him, and isn’t moving until he gets to say it, JB pinches his nose bridge, because this is really not a good day for him.

Actually, if he’s to be honest, he hasn’t had a good day since the day he saw Jinyoung. Last week in particular had been particularly bad. He lost count of how many times he had taken out his phone, thumb hovering over Jinyoung’s number, thinking if he should contact him. Maybe a message, so it won’t be so confrontational. But it’s been too long, and he suspects Jinyoung might have already deleted his number (as most people who have broken up and drifted apart do), and JB doesn’t have the courage to type even a “Hi, it’s Jaebum.”

Besides, what would he say after that? “Should we talk?” (No, that’s too scary.) “Maybe we should meet up.” (No, that sounds too friendly.) There’s also the possibility that Jinyoung has changed his number already, and JB doesn’t want to risk sending his messages to some stranger. So he had chickened out, and slid his phone back into his pocket every time.

When JB had gotten up today, well aware that it’s the day they start filming, and therefore the day he’ll have to see Jinyoung in person again (no chance to run away this time), he had sat in his bed for longer than he usually does, wondering if there’s any way he can get out of it. Eventually, he talked himself into getting dressed and ready for work, arriving just on time on set.

However, he didn’t expect to see Jinyoung the first thing he arrived, and JB had looked away to avoid catching Jinyoung’s gaze, only to notice that Yugyeom, the yoga instructor who had asked him out for coffee last week (and whom he had quickly rejected), was also on the set. Judging by how he was getting makeup done, JB guessed Yugyeom is acting as well. It was only when he double checked the names on the script that he realized Yugyeom is playing the gay lead. JB had groaned then, regretting not having paid more attention to the emails Mark had sent out.

The morning’s filming had gone on about as well as he expected, which was not at all.

Having to work with Jinyoung as one of the leads, with his face blown up on the monitoring screen in front of him had worn JB’s patience thin. Add Yugyeom, who’s enthusiastic but also glancing over at JB every now and then for some reason JB cannot fathom (maybe the guy’s still hoping JB will have coffee with him?), and JB had barely managed to continue directing the whole thing.

Apparently, that wasn’t good enough, because despite managing to not storm out of the room just to avoid this altogether, Jackson’s now telling JB that he had been grouchy on set, and had been too contradictory in his feedback to Yugyeom.

JB’s leaning against the wall, counting his breaths, 4 beats in, 4 beats out as Jackson talks in front of him. He’s trying to not to let his temper get to him, because he can tell that Jackson’s attempting to be nice and helpful in telling him all this, so “the afternoon’s filming might go on better”, but he’s really running low on patience.

“Jackson, please stop talking for a while.”

Thankfully, the blond man stops, and JB closes his eyes for a while to steady himself. Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out –

“Are you okay? You look kind of… sick?”

JB hears Jackson whisper, and his eyes open, narrowing, “No, I’m not sick, but I’m trying to calm myself down right now, so I will really appreciate if you just stop talking.”

JB doesn’t expect to see a Jackson’s mouth open in a surprised O, hands coming up to cover his mouth. Jackson kind looks chastised right now, but JB ignores him (and the little pinch of guilt in his stomach) to continue breathing mindfully until he feels his frustration drain like he’s learnt to do.

After a while, he says, “Okay, you can speak now.”

Jackson frowns, but speaks again, if a bit more cautiously this time, “Look, I just wanted to tell you before we start the afternoon’s filming that you were being a bit unreasonable just now with the directions you gave Yugyeom, and it’ll be good if you could… change that. Your attitude in the morning really made everyone tense and it wasn’t helping with the process.”

JB takes in Jackson standing in front of him, hands clasped in front of him like he’s worried he’ll get scolded (though maybe, given how he had behaved around Jackson so far, probably isn’t an unfair assumption), and says, “I’m not going to scold you, you know.”

Jackson’s looking up at him with confused wide eyes, and JB scratches his head before he says, “Honestly, I’m not having a good day, so excuse me if my attitude is crap, but… Okay. I hear what you’ve said about my misleading directions for Yugyeom, and I will try to rectify that, at least.”

Jackson’s staring at him like he’s grown another head, and JB is starting to wonder if he really gave Jackson such a terrible impression during their meetings that Jackson’s looking at him like that (JB’s not the hot-tempered teen he used to be anymore, but he might have acted like it the first few times he saw Jackson in person).

There’s a small gasp, and Jackson exclaims, “Wow. Okay, I wasn’t expecting this to go so easily. I thought I’ll have to argue with you to change that attitude.”

JB’s not amused, but what Jackson said made him curious. “So you mean you came up to talk to me, expecting that you’ll have to get into an argument but you did it anyway? Isn’t that kind of crazy?”

Jackson’s looking to the side, blinking as he says, “Huh. I guess? But really, if it’s necessary to have filming go on smoother later, I guess it’ll be worth it. I can take one for the team.”

JB’s left alone to ponder about that last statement because someone calls for Jackson to help with the lighting, and he wonders if Jackson’s actually more considerate and courageous than he had assumed (from the guy’s old youtube videos, which okay, granted isn’t the most reliable source). He doesn’t get much time to do that, because Amber’s calling for him to get ready in 5 minutes, and JB heads to his director seat.