Chapter 11: How to be logical and irrational at the same time

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Junior's pov.
Junior and JB behave like the adults they are, and finally have a talk about when they will have the talk.

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As Junior stares at his phone, a missed call flashing in his notifications, the number a familiar one, he can’t help but think that if this was a cliché rom-com, he would have been staring at his phone, waiting to call when Jaebum’s call had come. As it is, it’s almost midnight, and the call from Jaebum had been a good two hours ago.

Putting his phone back on his nightstand, Junior considers if he should call back, but dismisses the thought because it’s too late if they end up having a long talk. Considering how much time has passed, it is quite likely that whatever talk they will be having would be a long one, and it’s not a good idea to go to sleep at 2am or later when he has to be on set at 9. He sighs, pulling the covers so he can lie comfortably under them.

It’s not that Junior hadn’t been thinking about calling Jaebum after Jackson had talked to him this afternoon – he had, and he spent most of the afternoon after filming wondering just how to go about talking to Jaebum, particularly if he should approach him in person and just ask to talk like that, or call in advance to ask first – but after not coming to a conclusion, he had ended up busy making dinner. Then after that he had to eat, and it was important to study his script, so he did that too. He had also read a chapter of the book he’s currently on, hoping to ease his cluttered mind before he sleeps, but decided to check his phone before bed, which is how he remembers that he had somehow managed to put off talking to Jaebum, like he had always ended up doing.

Staring at the missed call, which he didn’t hear because his phone is perpetually on silent (Junior gets anxious knowing he has unreplied messages and notifications), Junior considers what Jackson had said earlier about how he hadn’t really moved on. Even though Junior had deleted Jaebum’s number a year after they broke up, he still recognizes the particular combination of digits that tell him that this missed call from an unknown contact is Jaebum. There’s an awkward tug at his lips, which Junior knows is the face he makes when he can’t decide if he wants to frown or smile.

It seems appropriate, because this is always how Jaebum had (has) affected him, a series of complicated and seemingly contradicting emotions coming to him all at once.

The same feeling hits him when he sees Jaebum once he steps onto set, the same set as yesterday, because although shooting is in a café today, they have to get ready in Buzzfeed first. Jaebum’s busy talking with Mark while they are looking at the cameras and screens of yesterday’s footage, so he hasn’t noticed Junior. Unsure if he should approach Jaebum while Mark is around, Junior thinks maybe he should wait until Jaebum is alone before he walks up to talk (or talk about needing to talk). But that plan is quickly shattered when a shout of “Hi Junior~” booms through the room.

Jackson’s loud greeting alerts everyone (including Jaebum) that Junior’s in the room, and Junior winces a bit at what his good friend has just done.

“Why did you do that?” Junior hisses under his breath, grabbing Jackson by the arm and leaning in close against Jackson’s ear so others wouldn’t overhear. Jackson just blinks innocently, and shrugs, and Junior really wishes he could physically injure the guy, good friend or not. But that thought has to be halted because someone’s approaching, and when Junior lifts his head, he sees Mark, with Jaebum trailing behind.

Junior turns so he’s facing Mark and Jaebum, although he kind of wants to hide his face in Jackson’s shoulder right now. But he’s an adult, and he’s also trying to not let his personal issues take over his life, so he doesn’t. Junior still keeps his arm hooked around Jackson’s though, because even if he’s an adult, he could really use some support.

“Hi Junior,” Mark says, with only the barest hint of a smile, “Can I borrow Jackson for a while?”

Even though Junior sort of likes Mark since he had seen the guy at the interview (and boy, was that a first impression – Mark in heels, looking so good), he also kind of hates him right now, because he’s trying to take away Junior’s own source of support and leave him alone with Jaebum. There’s a small voice in his head that reminds him that he was waiting for Jaebum to be alone to approach him anyway, and isn’t this the perfect opportunity, but Junior ignores it, and pouts.

The pout gets a smile from Mark, lip corners twitching up, but that’s all, because Mark still taps Jackson’s shoulder, and motions for him to follow, which Jackson does. Junior pouts a bit more, before he schools his face into a more neutral expression and properly faces Jaebum.

Im Jaebum.

How long has it been since he’s looking at this face, chiseled cheekbones and a strong jawline, with those two tiny moles above his left eye? Junior quickly dismisses the thought, because he’s supposed to be talking to Jaebum about how they need to talk, not reminiscing. He wonders if Jaebum’s thinking the same thing as he is right now, what they should say to break this awkward silence, or if –

“Hi Jinyoung.”

Oh, Junior blinks, because Jaebum’s beaten him to it. “Hi Ja