Chapter 27: Getting intimate without taking your clothes off

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Jackson goes for yoga after work, happy to be rid of the body harness, but the tightness in his chest doesn't subside even without that piece of clothing.

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As Jackson undoes the buckles on the body harness, he can’t help but remember how nervous he had been earlier in the morning, when JB was helping him wear the bundle of straps. He remembers how JB’s fingers had barely grazed the bare skin of his neck peeking above the neckline of his t-shirt, and how JB’s breath had been a warm puff against the shell of his ear. There wasn’t anything particularly inappropriate about the way JB had helped him put on the body harness, but as he pulls the straps out of the buckles, Jackson can’t help but recall how flustered he had been earlier, and how he’s still a little disconcerted now.

Maybe he’s more easily flustered today because the body harness makes him feel weird, Jackson thinks, the moment he has the thing off. He’s in the changing rooms of the yoga studio, ready to go for lessons now that work has ended. How he managed to survive walking around office the whole day wearing that strange contraption he has no clue, especially after he just realized how uncomfortable it had been making him the whole day, not least because it is a tight fit against his body.

Although, maybe fit isn’t quite the right word here. It fits, but it also sometimes digs into his body when he moves, reminding Jackson that he’s wearing straps over his torso in what is probably an oddly display even if he has his t-shirt on. He hadn’t liked the gaze people had given him when they started to notice that he was wearing a body harness over a t-shirt either.

Jackson guesses he should consider himself lucky that Bambam had chosen black for both the harness and the t-shirt because at least on first glance most people won’t notice that he’s wearing it. But that’s only a small comfort because once his colleagues got close enough, it had been pretty hard for them to not notice, and he couldn’t escape the questions that followed. At least he’s done with those now, he thinks, because he’s wearing a simple tank and shorts for exercise, and no one at the yoga place had seen him walk in with the outfit earlier.

Bambam has already gone home sometime in the afternoon (in the sleeveless basketball jersey and cut-off denim shorts Jackson chose for him) to go out with his family, and Jinyoung’s not taking the class that Jackson’s heading for right now, so he’s pretty much safe from having to voice out any of his thoughts for now. Both of them have been friends with him for long enough to notice his thinking face (as Bambam first termed it) when his thoughts are somewhere else, and right now, Jackson’s thoughts are anywhere but where his body is. That he almost walks into the door without first pushing it open is evidence enough.

“You should open the door first, before walking in,” Yugyeom points out from where he’s standing behind Jackson in the corridor.

“Right,” Jackson mumbles, too surprised to come up with a better retort. Squeezing his eyes shut for a second to collect himself, Jackson takes a deep breath before he opens his eyes and twists the door handle to enter the class.

Jackson’s unrolling the yoga mat when someone walks in, muttering “sorry”. The voice sounds familiar. When he looks up, it’s JB shuffling into the room, looking around trying to find a spot he can lay the mat on. Their eyes meet while Jackson’s still registering the fact that JB is here (JB who he had seen earlier today in the office, not that he should be thinking about that now), and it’s at this time that Yugyeom says, “JB, you can use the spot next to Jackson there.”

He’s still kind of dazed, but Jackson thinks the” hey” he gives JB as the guy settles his mat down sounds relatively normal.

“Hey,” JB says back, hair falling over his eyes as he squats to smooth the mat flat. “Are you here for the yoga video? I thought you would have finished your 10 lessons by now.”

JB’s voice sounds more normal than Jackson recalls it being earlier this morning, and Jackson thinks JB might have given him a quick once-over. Then again, maybe JB had only barely glanced in his direction, and Jackson’s just assuming he’s assessing his now normal outfit (compared to the weird one he had been wearing in the morning) because he’s still sort of paranoid after the bout of questions about his outfit in the office earlier. Anyway, JB doesn’t actually mention anything about his clothes, so Jackson doesn’t bring it up either. At the front of the class, Yugyeom’s starting the stretches, and Jackson lets his body follow the movement, already used to the routine from his previous sessions. When he’s in a more comfortable position to speak, Jackson finally answers, “Yeah, I actually finished my 10 lessons for the video long ago. I decided to just sign up and take extra lessons since I actually quite like yoga. What about you?”

“Ha, I haven’t finished my required number of lessons,” JB huffs, sounding oddly sarcastic, or maybe just resigned as he looks up every now and then to follow Yugyeom’s movements. Jackson points a finger at JB’s oddly placed foot, and JB takes the hint that he needs to shift it. When he’s regained his balanced, JB continues, “I actually have 5 more lessons to do, after this one.”

“5 more? We only have until Sunday to finish the yoga life-change video. So that’s like… 5 more days, if we don’t count today,” Jackson calculates, frowning slightly. He wonders if JB’s going to go for a session every day until Sunday, or if he’ll give up trying to finish the required number of lessons. He knows some other colleagues have already given up on the video, complaining that yoga’s too tough for them to do with their work schedule. Jackson doesn’t judge them, because he knows everyone has their own level of commitments but he can’t help but hope JB’s not one to back out of something he’s agreed to do previously. He’s not sure why he’s even hoping for anything though, because it’s not like what JB does will concern him. Ignoring the thought, Jackson looks up to check his posture against Yugyeom’s demonstration. Beside him, JB wobbles a little but manages to stand comfortably in the warrior position they’re all doing.