You know how when you get a diagnosis, there’s always that bit of denial that settles deep inside you? Yeah, well, that’s exactly how Taekwoon was feeling at the moment. It was nearing the final days of winter break, but his usual enthusiasm just wasn’t there. 

There was something that was just too wrong with the entire situation. If he really had schizophrenia, then way wasn’t he having all the symptoms normally associated with it?  He sat up, swinging his feet out of the bed and into slippers. He was going to need to do some digging, and he needed to do it fast. If by some sick chance(no pun intended) he was actually ill,  Taekwoon didn’t want to risk losing the only time he had with his mind being this lucid.

It all started with the usual, Internet searches on hearing voices, digging and digging through articles, both outdated and recent. It seemed like a dead end, until he got to this one page named “Abilities of a Psych”. The title was so farfetched that he almost clicked out of the site immediately, but something made him stay, something told him that this was exactly what he was looking for. As cliché as that sounds, it was true.

The soft glare of the screen was straining his eyes, so he turned the screen off. It been an hour since he’d discovered the site; he was nothing short of amazed.

Was it foolish in a way, to believe what he’d just read on the internet? Yes, it was, but it was his desperate attempt at pulling himself back together.

Clairaudience was the ability to perceive sounds well into the spirit world. 

Okay, so surely he was spouting nonsense, right? It fit in all too well. The voices, the lack of symptoms relating to schizophrenia, there was really no other way to put it. Maybe he really was just desperate- enough to believe there was another cause.

He sighed, leaning back into his chair. His life was becoming a ridiculous mess. In fact, he could hardly remember the last time he ate. Or the last time he'd seen Hakyeon. 

Taekwoon got up,  went over to his kitchen, and opened the nearest cabinet. There was some granolas, cereal, and random cans of nonsense food, like four cheese ravioli and yams.

He really needed to go shopping. His sad shell of a refrigerator too, had no food, just orange juice and bear. The air in the house felt too stale and dusty, and he himself wasn't feeling too well. 

The time on the stove  currently read 8:00 A.M.,  and he groaned. He really missed Hakyeon's incessant presence. Even in times like this, he always managed to lift him up and shoulder his burdens, as if they were his own.

A half-hour later and he was out the door, on his way to visit Hakyeon. It would be fitting, on a snowy, pristine day like this, to visit his friend.

 Hakyeon and him had been friends for years without a hitch. Even when they fought, they made up quite easily; but that was rare anyhow, since Hakyeon spoke enough for the both of them- and Taekwoon had settled comfortably into the role of a listener.

He rounded the corner, his feet crunching perfect shoe sole replicas into the snow. They were no longer children, but when they had been- so many of their winter days were spent ruining the perfect canvas Earth had given them.

Stomping, kicking, pushing the snow everywhere. That's was their childhood, and he fortunately wouldn't trade it for anything else. No matter how many times the two of them got in trouble accidentally- like that one time they pushed a giant snowball down a hill and it hit the little girl across the street. On second thought- they were never caught that time.

There was a jarring "ahem" and he pulled out from his thoughts. It seemed that he'd been actually acting out, and in turn kicked some snow onto a woman walking by. Taekwoon, realizing this, blushed and apologized profusely, bowing at his waist in forgiveness.

The woman, amused, shook her head, accepting the apology and continuing on. 

He soon came to the path that led up to Hakyeon's house. Strangely enough, there was also this sense of forshadowing, one that has his heart pumping thickly and harshly against his chest. Whatever it was, it wasn't good. 

Trying to shake it off the feeling was useless, it wouldn't budge. Might as well see what the problem is, he tells himself, but that does nothing to quell his nerves.

He knocks on the door, once, twice, thrice, but there was no response. Taekwoon pulled out his set of keys, and singled out the one to unlock his friends door. "Maybe he's not home." He ends up dropping the key once, into the snow and curses.

The door gave way after he unlocked it. It was like some anticlimactic scene from a horror movie. Next a monster would jump from nowhere. "Haha, no."

"Hakyeon!" He called. No reply. Trying again, he shouted. "Hakyeon!" Still no answer.

Worriedly, he pulled out his phone and tried his number, which promptly rang, buzzing on the table next to an armchair.

Taekwoon ended the call. There was a familiar brown mop of hair that stuck out from the top edge of the chair. "Hakyeon?" He called once again, apprehensive. The figure did not move, but at he got closer and closer, he saw that indeed it was Hakyeon.

He breathed a sigh of relief, but that same relief than turned to horror upon feeling his skin and seeing his motionless body. It was too cold, too unatural. His beautiful tanned skin was pale, sepulchral, and his eyes were closed languidly.

Taekwoon shakingly  pressed a couple of fingers to a pulse point on his neck, and felt a thump, albeit, weakly. It sent him into a mixture of panic and relief, into desperation so intense he dropped his phone several times while trying to dial 119. He spoke in a rush, only ever slowing down to give out the address.

"Sir, you need to calm down. I'm alerting emergency services right now. Please, stay calm, and tell me who you are."

"Are you crazy! There's now way I can stay calm when I don't even know how long he's been here like this- how can you expect me to be fine?!- Quickly , please get here quickly-"

The last part came out rugged  and watery, in a rush, tears dragging down his face like hail on a windshield. It was all too real, Taekwoon thought sinking to the floor and pulling Hakyeon with him. What if he'd gotten here sooner? What if he hadn't come at all? How could he be so selfish? So self-absorbed? Why didn't he say anything?

Five minutes later, and there was footsteps charging through the house, people pulling, pulling Hakyeon away from him. He simply stared, mind in black haze, drifting. 

Until somebody shook him, trying to get his attenntion, and he looked up. It was Yongguk.

"You-" his throat was stuck, blocking words from leaving. 

"Come, don't you want to ride with him?" Taekwoon was confused, not registering what Yongguk had said.

Yongguk, upon seeing the confusion on his face, decidedly helped him into the ambulance with Hakyeon. He was in too much shock to even help himself, Yongguk thought, settling Taekwoon onto a stretcher parellel to his friend.

The ambulance was quick to their destination, but to Taekwoon- it felt like hours had passed before he was being pushed out. Hours dragging by as Taekwoon stared at Hakyeon's lifeless face, as he listened his heartbeat work slowly-

He heard the doctors say something like "heart" and "too weakened" and "donor", but he himself was too exhausted to make any connection. Especially to Hakyeon.

However, once he saw Hakyeon being rolled away from him, his brain started to throb painfully and he scrambled up, thrashing, not wanting to see Hakyeon's face dissappearing beind the ER doors.

Taekwoon was absolutely delirious in this moment, his thoughts fading in and out of focus. It was just then he felt a needle pushing past skin, and he faded out of consciousness a few seconds later.

A/n 

Keep in mind, the next chapter is going to be way longer.

Hehe, no promises though.