A Sad Smile
I Knew You Were TroubleDonghae loved to sing.
Donghae sang all the time back at home and Ryeowook loved listening to whatever Donghae sang. His voice wasn’t the best but at the same time, Ryeowook didn’t think Donghae was that bad. Maybe he was just being bias, but honestly… Who wouldn’t be towards someone so precious as Donghae?
Donghae would always sing his heart out no matter what genre of song it was. Sometimes, he sang a rock song with so much emotion that Ryeowook would roll onto the floor laughing. Other times, Donghae would sing a ballad and pretend to cry and Ryeowook would join in the fun, pretending to hug the hurt out of his fiancé. Sometimes, Donghae would playfully put up a mini concert for Ryeowook whenever he was tired from work or had a bad day. Most of the times, it was all fun and laughter and love.
But tonight… It was a little different.
The cold night air enveloped the couple as it was finally December and the snow had just started to fall. The couple laid cuddled up in bed, silently watching tiny snowflakes falling onto the tall lit-up buildings around the city. Every now and then, Ryeowook would feel Donghae’s soft lips on his hair or his temples and would sigh in content because there was no place he would rather be than in Donghae’s arms.
Donghae broke the silence between the both of them, quietly beginning to sing. It was unlike other songs Donghae usually sung to playfully annoy Ryeowook. This time, Ryeowook recognized it as an English language song and it was a rather slow song. Ryeowook closed his eyes, letting his head fall back against Donghae’s solid chest.
“Cause I don't wanna lose you now, I'm lookin' right at the other half of me.”
“The vacancy that sat in my heart, is a space that now you hold.”
“Show me how to fight for now and I'll tell you, baby, it was easy.”
“Comin' back here to you once I figured it out…”
“You were right here all along.”
“It’s like you’re my mirror…”
Donghae’s fingers softly brushed against Ryeowook’s skin, travelling down his arms and then up his body as he sang into his ears. Donghae then tipped Ryeowook’s chin and their eyes met as Donghae sang the last few lines, “My mirror staring back at me.”
The sudden warmth he felt in his chest, Ryeowook recognized it all too well now. It was the feeling of falling in love all over again, falling in love with Donghae all over again. Donghae’s eyes were a reflection of his as they shone bright, brighter than anything that mattered at the moment and Ryeowook’s heart dissolved into a puddle of love. He tilted his head and pressed a kiss onto Donghae’s lips. It was short and sweet but it conveyed all the words that was needed to be said – I love you, Donghae.
Donghae smiled in return, nuzzling his face into the crook of Ryeowook’s neck. “I love you too, Ryeowook. I’ll love you forever.”
***
Day – 8 before wedding…
Ryeowook thought that nothing could feel worse than this, than the throbbing pain inside his head. It hurt so much that Ryeowook felt his lips parting on its own. He didn’t know if he had just made a sound but all he knew was that he heard a voice, someone calling out his name.
“Ryeowook…. Ryeowookie…”
It was a familiar voice. One that was filled with concern and love, one that Ryeowook knew all too well. No face matched the voice however, only darkness and Ryeowook willed himself to force his eyes opened. It took a lot of great effort but slowly, inch by inch as his eyes lifted, his vision came to sight and the face of his mother came into view.
“Om… ma…”
Ryeowook’s throat felt dry and scratchy. His mother’s eyebrows furrowed and then she disappeared out of view and Ryeowook begun panicking. All he saw was white and he couldn’t move. But when his mother’s face came into view again, he felt himself relaxing.
“Oh, honey, please drink this first.”
Ryeowook felt a straw being placed at his lips and he begun on instinct. Cold water travelled down his throat and he wanted to sigh because it felt so good. He drank more and more and finally his mother pulled the straw away from his mouth. His throat didn’t feel as dry as it did before and somehow, the water felt like it had made the throbbing pain stop a little. Ryeowook cleared his throat, finally feeling a bit better. He still didn’t have the energy to talk or maybe Ryeowook didn’t wat to. Either way, he allowed himself to take a look around whatever he could see from where he was lying down.
White walls filled his vision and from where he was, Ryeowook could spot an IV bag and a pole next to the bed he was in. Ryeowook blinked once more and then thought of how he ended up here – In the hospital. His memories were blurry but as they were cleared in his head, Ryeowook’s eyes widened.
Road. Rain. Motorcycle. Accident.
Donghae.
Blood.
Unconscious.
The image of his fiancé lifelessly laid out on the road in a pool of red-solid blood made Ryeowook;s lungs feel constricted, like he suddenly couldn’t for the life of him figure out how to breathe. Ryeowook opened his mouth, tried to speak but nothing came out. His mother realizing the sudden change in Ryeowook’s expression quickly placed her hand on Ryeowook’s cheeks.
“Breathe, Ryeowook, it’s okay, honey, breathe.” Ryeowook’s mother quietly urged.
Ryeowook struggled as he breath, “Dong… Donghae…”
Donghae. Donghae, where is he? Is he okay? Why isn’t he here? Where is my fiancé?
His mother softly smiled but Ryeowook felt the need to panic even more. Because he knew that smile. It was the one she had when he used to ask her for school money back when they had barely enough to even buy bread for breakfast, it was the one she had when Ryeowook had been punshed by his father for failing his exam and when Ryeowook had apologized to her, it was the one she had on when Ryeowook told her that he preferred guys over girls.
A sad smile.
Ryeowook’s mother caressed Ryeowook’s cheeks and her lips parted, about to say something but Ryeowook shook his head and croaked, “Tell… Tell me… The… Truth.”
The eyes of his mother began to shine with tears as she gave her son an apologetic look and choked out, “He’s fighting, honey.”
“He’s fighting for you.”
That was all it took before Ryeowook felt the tears painfully streaming down his face, not even having to know what Donghae was fighting.
***
Day-6 before wedding…
He saw Donghae every time he closed his eyes and sometimes, he refused to open them. Why would he wake up when sleep felt better? Ryeowook fell in and out of consciousness as everytime he woke up, he still felt weak. He saw a blur of different faces visiting him, some of them were families while some others were colleagues, Kyuhyun and Sungmin. Some were Donghae’s family and sometimes, Ryeowook thought that he even saw Donghae.
But none of it mattered because finally, as Ryeowook slit his eyes opened and finally felt free from the intense pain in his body and head, he managed to push himself up. He felt hands helping him to sit up and Ryeowook was thankful that it was Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun smiled at him softly and ran his hands over the bandage over Ryeowook’s forehead.
“You feeling okay, Wookie?” Kyuhyun asked.
Ryeowook struggled as he whispered, “Better than before.”
Kyuhyun nodded, “Thank god.”
Still feeling slightly disoriented, Ryeowook ran his hands over his face. He could feel a long scar on his right cheek and the b
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