Chapter 4
Scintilla (Spark)

“Tease (verb)
make fun of or attempt to provoke (a person or animal) in a playful way.”

“That was a nice music video though.”

“Weird too.”

“But good music.”

“Indeed.”

Sooyoung then closes the tab before clicking the other tab while the others are checking their phones, doing their own thing. All of their attention went back on the big screen in Sooyoung’s living room – the owner connected it on the internet for a larger view – when she called their attention. The members are lounging on either the couches or carpeted floor holding throw pillows or cuddling few of Sooyoung’s own sleeping pillows while their dogs are all in one place, sleeping or playing.

“Ah, there’s no music video for this one.” Sooyoung said.

“Then let’s just hear the song instead.” Sunny replies.

As the plucking tune of the guitar invades the corners of the room, all of them turn quiet – all thrilled and curious of what kind of song this would be.

“geunyeoga tteonagayo”
“She is leaving”

As if on cue, all of them looked at each other with the same question blurted out at once. “Is that T.O.P oppa?”

“nanaeun amugeotodo hal su eopseoyo”
“And I can’t do anything”

“Definitely him.”

“Wow.”

“He sang.”

“Shush guys. Listen listen.”

“sarangi tteonagayo
naneun babocheoreom meonghani seoinneyo”
“Love is leaving
Like a fool, I’m blankly standing here”

“This is definitely a sad song.”

“I can see it coming.”

The owner of the voices immediately shut up as they received several glares from the other girls.

“meoreojineun geu dwitmoseupmaneul baraboda
jageun jeoni doeeo saranjinda
sigani jinamyeon tto mudyeojilkka
yet saenggagi na (yeah)
ni sanggagi na”

“I’m looking at her, getting farther away
She becomes a small dot and then disappears
Will this go away after time passes?
I remember the old times (yeah)
I remember you”

“IF YOU IF YOU
ajik neomu neutji anhatdamyeon
uri dasi doragal suneun eopseulkka
IF YOU IF YOU
neodo nawa gachi hindeuldamyeon
uri jogeum swipge gal suneun eopseulkka
iseeul ttae jakhak geol geuraesseo”

“IF YOU IF YOU
If it’s not too late
Can’t we get back together?
IF YOU IF YOU
If you’re struggling like I am
Can’t we make things a little easier?
I should’ve treated you better when I had you”

The chorus pretty much silenced everyone. Reason is that most of them could relate even though it’s a man’s point of view. Most of them encountered downfalls, heartbreaks, sadness and longing for the one they loved whether the relationship was publicly announced or not.

The feeling of looking at the one you truly love, the one who’s once within your reach is and would no longer be there to catch or guide you when you fall is like being smash straight down on a concrete floor, it’s hard to recover, the pain is almost unbearable and wounds may heal but scars last a lifetime.

“geudaeneun eotteongayo
jeongmal amureochi anheun geongayo
ibyeori jinabwayo
geudael ijeoya hajiman swipjiga anneyo”

“How about you?
Are you really fine?
Guess our break up is setting
I should forget you but it’s not easy”

“meoreojineun geu dwitmoseupmaneul baraboda
jageun jeoni doeeo saranjinda
nugungal mannamyeon wiroga doelkka
yet saenggagi na ni sanggagi na”

“I’m looking at her, getting farther away
She becomes a small dot and then disappears
Will I feel better if I meet someone?
I remember the old times
I remember you”

Is finding someone would make you feel better? Makes you erase all the pain and sadness? Yes but it’s temporary, no matter how cliché that is. Once you’re alone, everything comes back like a stone gunned catapult, it’ll hurt no matter how much you ignore it.

Did Tiffany think that way? She once did to be honest when she’d grown very frustrated from all the sadness, longing and pain. It became an emotional struggle for her. She comes out in the public looking and sounding so happy but deep inside, but when she’s all alone, all she did is to question herself why couldn’t she get over it, why did they end that way, why did the love fade away, where did they gone wrong.

“oneulgachi ganyeorin biga naerineun narimyeon
neoui geurimjaga tteooreugo
seorap soge mollae neoheodun uriui chueogeul
dasi kkeonae hollo hoesanghago”

“On days where thin rain falls like today
I remember your shadow
Our memories that I secretly put in my drawer
I take them out and reminisce again by myself”

“heeojimiran seulpeumui mugereul
nan wae mollasseulkka”

“Why didn’t I know
About the weight of sadness that comes with breaking up?”

Break ups aren’t easy. Break up is one of those moments when you can either feel sadness or happiness or both. Sadness occurs when one still loves the other one but the break up is just inevitable especially when emotional burden and stress are two of your enemies every single passing day. Happiness occurs in two occasions. One is when you’re finally free from every single burden that comes along with the relationship and two is when you’ve finally let go of the other one or the other one finally have let you go. Meanwhile both occurs when the sadness means letting the special memories go alongside of that person with slight regret and happiness means you’re finally free from all the attachments – mentally, emotionally and physically.

Tiffany belonged to both. Yes, belonged because all she’s feeling now is happiness and that happiness means contentment, freedom and alive.

“IF YOU IF YOU (if you, if you)
ajik neomu neutji anhatdamyeon
uri dasi doragal suneun eopseulkka
IF YOU IF YOU (if you, if you)
neodo nawa gachi hindeuldamyeon
uri jogeum swipge gal suneun eopseulkka
iseeul ttae jakhak geol geuraesseo”

“IF YOU IF YOU
If it’s not too late
Can’t we get back together?
IF YOU IF YOU
If you’re struggling like I am
Can’t we make things a little easier?
I should’ve treated you better when I had you”

There’s a little moment of silence when the song ended before Juhyun breaks it. “That song is..”

“Wonderful.” Tiffany added.

“Now where is my phone so I could download this one.” Sunny replied.

All of them grab their own phones to download it though this would add up on the boy group’s digital download especially their own comeback is just in a few days but rivals or not, a good song is a good song.

“Just like what I expected, Jiyong oppa is the one behind this song.” Yuri said.

“That man seriously went through a lot.” Taeyeon replied this time.

“Barely had his privacy, that .” Yuri said while she stands up as she heads to the kitchen.

“I still don’t get the logic of their fans.” It’s from Juhyun.

“Huh?” that caught the other girls’ attention except Tiffany’s.

“The other members seem to have more freedom and privacy than him. Youngbae oppa’s relationship with Hyorin unnie is gathering so many support from their fans but why can’t he have his own?”

“Good question.”

“Where did you get those information though?” Yoona asked the youngest.

“It’s all over the comment sections of those news articles related to his rumored relationship to that Japanese model which I’ve forgotten the name.”

“Kiko Mizuhara.” Sooyoung said nonchalantly while scanning through her phone.

“Right, Kiko Mizuhara. Going back to my question, why can’t they just support him?”

“Popularity has its own consequences Juhyun-ah and he has the largest fanbase among the 5 of them.” Yuri replied as she emerges out of the kitchen holding a glass of cold water which is immediately grabbed by Hyoyeon.

“Hey!”

“Thanks.” Hyoyeon grinned sheepishly while handing the glass back to the protesting woman after she had a sip.

Taeyeon could only shake her head at the sight before she answers. “True. You couldn’t do anything you want, date whoever you want to without backslashes and trash talking.”

“Based on your own experience, huh shorty?” Sunny replied.

A nod followed by a shrug. “Just glad that I’m done with it.”

Despite the conversations going on in front her, Tiffany on the other hand is busy re-reading the lyrics. She knows enough how much struggle Jiyong had and has been facing these past few years, after all, she’