This is as my apology for writing an angst on last chapter. Heehee.

Enjoy~ ^^

Genre: Romance, well not that fluffy actually

It happened 7 years ago.

I loved singing to death. So did my best friend Kim Taeyeon. We practised together, we sang to the newest song together, we watched singing contest on TV and spazzed together –basically, we did almost everything together. Including having the same dream; becoming a professional singer.

We were both sure, that we could be ones. As long as we were together.

But then that day came. As little girls who were too young to think maturely, we argued over a simple matter. She knew I loved flowers. So I felt jealous when she gave a flower to another girl, yet she did not give me one.

Everytime she shouted at me, I’d snap even louder to her, and she would do it, too, to me. None of us was wise enough to take a step back. We kept blaming each other.

I remembered how furious I was to Taeyeon that day, that finally I yelled “I HATE YOU!” as loud as I could, like my life depended on it.

I remembered it too, how hurt Taeyeon looked like. I felt kinda sorry for what I had said and was expecting she’d snap back harsher to me. But she stayed quiet instead, and I could not read what was on her mind that moment.

Feeling guilty yet still mad at her, I ran back to my house. And that night, I could not sleep at all.

So the next day when Taeyeon came over and apologized with a bouquet of flowers in her hand, I could do nothing but hug her with all my might, with tears on both of my eyes.

“Do you still hate me now?” Taeyeon asked, staring into my eyes, her hands holding mine.

I smiled at how cute and thoughtful my bestie was. No, she was not only my best buddy. She was my first love. How I loved it, everytime she patted my head and held my hand. I just loved everything about Taeyeon. I loved her so much my heart could burst any moment everytime she beamed that charming smile of hers.

I might sound ridiculous since I was only 10 that time, but I knew that what I felt was true.

I’d wish she knew how I felt.

“No, I never hate you Taetae. I lo—“ -ve you.

“Tippani?” Taeyeon looked at me confusedly.

“...”

My voice wouldn’t come out. I tried screaming but no sound coming out of my throat.

“A-are you okay?”

I tried saying things but my throat felt so dry and slowly burning. I had no single idea what was going on and I could do nothing but cry.

So that evening after the doctor finished examining, with Taeyeon holding my hand and my dad sitting beside me, I heard the truth that crushed my heart into pieces.

“Mr. Hwang, I’m sorry to say that Miss Hwang’s vocal cords is broken. I suppose she had overused it by excessive yelling or screaming.”

I still remembered how shaky my dad’s voice was.

“What will happen to Tiffany?”

The doctor sighed once, looking hesitant to continue.

“I’m afraid she can’t speak ever again.”

“B-but is there any chance that her voice can be back?”

“There is a little chance. But unfortunately, we can’t figure out when, or will it really be back. I’m sorry, Mr. Hwang.”

..Then if I could not speak, could I sing instead?  

 Tears silently rolled down my cheeks as the thought of my broken dreams struck me.

I could not sing. I could not be a singer anymore. I had not even said that I loved Taeyeon.

 .. I was mute.

My dad immediately hugged me and I could see Taeyeon biting her lips, holding back her tears.

Once we were back at my room, Taeyeon broke into tears whilst holding my hands.

“I’m sorry Pani-ah! It’s all my fault! I shouldn’t have snapped back at you! I should have given the flower to you, not to Jieun, so we wouldn’t have argued! Hwaaaaaaaa!”

All I could do was patting her back. ‘It’s okay, Taetae. It’s okay.’ I mouthed.

“I.. I promise I’ll continue our dream to become a professional singer! And I’ll always be by your side forever! Ever!” Taeyeon with tears and snot all over her face held her two fingers up –like what we saw on TV when people took an oath.

I smiled, touched by how sincere her words were. ‘Promise me?’

She nodded quickly. “Uhn! Promise!”

Then we hugged like there was no tomorrow.

***

Seven years after that accident, Taeyeon and I had become inseparable.

I was 17, and Taeyeon was 18. We attended the same high school, but we were in different classes and clubs. I joined the cooking club while she joined the singing club, obviously.

Taeyeon had grown much prettier and charming than I’d ever known. She was also popular at school. Not only because of her looks, but of course because of her beautiful voice, too. She had won many singing contests, and I believed it was only a matter of time until some agency would reqruit her.

I was so proud to have someone like her by my side.

Speaking of the shorty, there she came.

“Pani-ah, let’s go home,” she smiled as she called from the door. The other girls stared at me in jealousy while some others were waving their hands excitedly to Taeyeon.

I immediately packed my things up and approached her. I hoped she wouldn’t realize how happy I was to see her –which was pretty weird since we always went to school and went home together. But somehow I never got enough of her.

***

We walked side by side on our way home. It was quiet cold and windy that day.

“Isn’t it cold today?” she asked.

I nodded.

“Then let me warm the day,” she grinned ear to ear as she took my left hand and interwined it with hers, before putting it on her jacket pocket.

I blushed a little at her surprising action.

I always loved this side of Taeyeon –thoughtful, caring, and so sweet.

I wanted to make her mine, but I was never brave enough to take a step closer. I did not want to break the friendship we’d been having. I was afraid that she did not feel the same –that she felt our relationship was purely platonic. I was afraid that she’d go away if I told her my feelings.

Moreover, she deserved someone better than just a mute girl.

Whilst listening to her story about her day, I smiled to myself, reassuring myself that this was enough; being close with her, was enough.

But still, I’d wish she knew how I felt.

 ***

Finally the school bell rang. Which meant I could go home with Taeyeon. Yay!

I waited, but it was a little surprising that she did not show up immediately. So I took the initiative to come to her class. But as I was about to open the door, I heard a conversation was going on inside.

It was Taeyeon’s voice.. and a girl I did not know.

“Can’t you be my girlfriend, Taeyeon-ah?”

Someone’s confessing to Taeyeon, I supposed.

“I’m sorry. But I can’t.”

“But why so? I’m willing to do anything for you.”

“I’m sorry, Sooyeon-ah. You deserve someone better than me.”

“ I want no one but you!”

Then I couldn’t hear anything again as their voices became muffled, and the next thing I knew the girl called Sooyeon ran out of the class, crying.

Taeyeon stepped out of the class and smiled as soon as our eyes met.

“There you are, Pani-ah. Let’s go home.”

Then she passed like nothing had happened.

***

I kept stealing glances at her on our way back home.

“Stop staring at me, Pani-ah,” she finally sighed. “What are you thinking about?”

I pursed my lips and shook my head.

“The event happened earlier?”

That’s another thing I loved from Taeyeon; even without words, she could understand my mind.

I slowly nodded.

‘Why did you reject her?’ I mouthed.

“She’s not my type.”

I frowned. I felt happy that she rejected that Sooyeon girl, obviously. But I wasn’t satisfied with her answer. I meant, it was just not Taeyeon’s style to have something like ideal type.

‘She’s pretty.’

“So what? You want me to date her?”

I spontaneously shook my head.

“See?” she laughed as she ruffled my hair. “Besides if I had a girlfriend or boyfriend, I would not be able to walk you home like this anymore, kiddo!”

I knew she was joking. But it hit me.

Was she rejecting all of the confessions she got because of me?

Was I becoming an obstacle to her?

I loved Taeyeon so much, and as much as I loved being by her side, I couldn’t keep doing this.

She had given me countless happiness, now it’s her time to have her own.

***

That day, I decided to go home on my own. I walked out of the class as soon as the bell rang, without waiting for Taeyeon. So probably for once, Taeyeon would have a chance to hang out with her friends.

It was cloudy that day, but I could care less. I only needed to quicken my pace so I won’t be hit by the rain and Taeyeon would not see me. So I did.

But no luck, the rain fell hard while I was on the middle way to home. I brought no umbrella, so I was completely soaked. Now I just hoped that there would be no—

Just as in cue, there was a flash of light before the thunder clapped loudly.

I felt my heart almost jumped out of my chest. I was really scared of thunder. In fact, I became scared of every loud noises ever since the accident.

I couldn’t control my trembling and just squatted down whilst covering my ears.

I was terrified, and cold, and dizzy.

 Just when I felt like passing out, a pair of hands wrapped my body and engulfed me in a hug.

“Ssh, it’s okay, I’m here.”

I felt so safe the moment I realized who was hugging me; Taeyeon.

It weirdly felt warm although we were still under the heavy rain.

“Better?” she gently asked as she helped me standing.

I hesitantly nodded.

Then after sighing in relief, a second later her face became not-so-happy. Uh-oh.

“Why are you going home alone? Why did you leave me?” she half-shouting, as the rain sound was so noisy.

I just bit my own lips and stared at the wet ground.

“Can’t you see how worried I am? It’s raining, too! What if something happens to you?” her tone was mad, but her face was full of concerns.

‘You don’t have to worry about me.’ I mouthed with some body language, like pointing at her and myself. ‘I can take care of myself.’

“What? But I have promised to always be by your side, Pani-ah!”

There we went. The promise. The promise that wasn’t worth sacrificing your happiness, Taeyeon-ah.

I knew that I had been monopolizing you for myself these 7 years. I never really thought about your feelings; I never asked you what you actually wanted.

All I had known was that you’d always be by my side no matter what; you’d hold my hands and turn my frown into smile. All I had wanted was you’d be there wherever I needed you.

But everytime I felt sad and down, you’d blame yourself when all you did was nothing wrong.

I knew you had been suffering the guilt rush all this time, Taeyeon-ah, I knew. But I did nothing and just remained silent –that was all I could do.

You gave me everything. Your attention, your time, happiness.. But I gave you nothing in return. I could not even say “Thank you”.

I had been a selfish , hadn’t I, Taeyeon-ah?

I loved you, that’s the truth. My happiness had always been you. But it’s time for you to find your own happiness.

‘Forget that stupid promise.’ I finally mouthed before turning away from her. My heart felt so tightened. Fortunately it was raining, so I wouldn’t be caught crying.

But just then, I felt a pair of slender arms were wrapped around my waist from behind.

“I love you, Pani-ah. That’s why I stay.” She whispered.

Was I hearing things because of the loud rain sound or was I dreaming?

“I’m just a pathetic  girl who’s so madly in love with you, that I keep using that lame ‘promise’ reason, as an excuse to be by your side everytime.”

Her hands gently turned me to face her. Oh my, too close! I thought my heart would explode any second. Dugeun dugeun dugeun.

She stared right into my eyes with her beautiful onyx orbs. And I knew she meant everything she had just said.

“Don’t cry again, okay?” her thumbs softly wiped my tears –which was pretty useless since my face was all wet because of the rain.

She blushed a little when I smiled at her. “I really, really love you, Pani-ah. I-I hope you feel the same way too, but if you don’t then—“

I cut her by kissing her on lips.

I closed my eyes and a smile grew on my lips when I felt she started kissing back.

We pulled away and rested our foreheads on each other’s.

“I love you, Pani-ah.  I really do.”

I grinned and mouthed back. ‘I lo-‘

“-ve you too,”

There was a dead silence before I gasped.

“... Dear God!! My voice is back!”

I did not know why Taeyeon’s eyes popped open and her jaw dropped --whether it was because my voice came back or her feelings were returned.

All I knew was the next kiss she gave felt like lasting longer than our 7 years of silence. 

Ja-jaaan!

How is it? Do you like it? It's been quiet a long time since I wrote a pure romance. Heehee. ^^

Btw I'm so hyped about GG Tour INA. I'm currently anxious about when the tickets will be sold online. *waiting like a retard with pounding heart lol*

Anyway~

Just spread the love~ <3