By Your Side
The December Family (Editing—Please come back later!)
The December Family
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WiggDxKtlb8&list=PLE6C8CD0AE8FDD001&feature=mh_lolz
(Super Junior - Storm, B1A4 - Only Learned The Bad Things & Infinite - Entrust)
Chapter 5 : My Place Is With You (Final)
Nam Sohee was born on December 3rd at 9:37 am.
She was healthy and weighed six and a half pounds.
Jieun had stayed to help me for a couple days, but had to leave for a business trip.
I was all alone and had to take care of Sohee myself.
It was late at night and I had just put her to sleep and lied her in her crib.
I rocked it from side to side.
Seeing little Sohee brought happiness to my dead heart.
Sleeping peacefully without a worry in the world.
I frowned then.
I was still on my leave and I had to start taking money out of my savings, which was decreasing at a rapid pace.
Sacrifices I had made so far consisted of eating only one meal a day so I could buy food for Sohee and started looking for a new job where I could look after her at the same time.
It was hard, but I wanted the best for my only daughter.
It was mothers wanted right?
I stopped rocking the crib and, as quietly as I could, went into my own bedroom that I used to share with Woohyun and flopped into the mattress.
Sleep was pulling me in almost immediately and I was more then willing to let it take over.
Then I heard Sohee's cries.
I quickly got up and went back to her.
I picked her up and rubbed her back.
"Shh, baby don't cry. Umma's right here." I cooed in a tired voice.
I sat on the couch still holding her.
I willed her to go to sleep, but no such wish would be granted.
She had stopped crying and was just lying in my arms and playing with my hair.
I smiled and kissed her cheek.
I rocked her back and forth hoping she would get tired from the motion, but it was I who got drowsy.
I fought to stay awake, but was helpless.
I hadn't slept for 19 hours.
Sleep enveloped me again.
When I woke up, Sohee was finally asleep and still where I had left her.
The sky was orange with dawn.
Today the bills would come and I would have to see how much money I had left over.
It turned out that I had to pay three quarters of all of the money I had left, so I would either find a job by the end of today or....
I didn't want to think about it.
After Sohee wakes up I would tend to her needs start looking.
There was a newspaper on the coffee table so I carefully reached over and grabbed it.
I took that time to think of what kind of job I could do with Sohee with me and started looking through the ads.
"Ajusshi please, I really need this job. I need to feed my baby." I pleaded with my hands clasped together for the seventh time today.
He just shut the door on me.
I sighed and brushed a stray tear away.
There was no time for that.
I sighed again. I knew what I had to do.
I returned home with my daughter and looked for my jewellery box.
I took off my earrings, necklace and bracelet that Woohyun had given to me as an anniversary present and place it inside.
I glanced at my wedding ring and bit my lip.
It's for Sohee, I mentally told myself.
I slipped that off too and dropped it inside.
I wrapped her up with warm clothes and put on a jacket that was lying around.
Since I had no car, I walked all the way to the jewellers even though it was cold.
There was no choice.
The money from my jewellery would last us roughly until the end of the month.
My daily routine now was waking up at dawnish, feeding Sohee, changing her, etc. , look for work, tend to Sohee again, eat, take a short cold shower, go and beg for a job, fail and come home, tend to Sohee again, find ways to save money, try to get Sohee to sleep, succeed but get awakened five minutes after I leave, hold Sohee in my arms on the couch until I fell asleep and do the process all over again.
Soon enough it was my birthday, but I was so distracted I didn't realize it until I got a couple of texts from my friends.
It was six days before Woohyun's and my anniversary.
I missed him so much.
I wondered where he was and how he was doing.
I wondered if he was happy with another girl.
If he had forgotten about me and his daughter.
Warm tears dripped down my face.
I missed him so much.
I wanted him to hold me again.
I wanted him to see his little girl.
I wanted him plain and true.
There would be no such thing though.
We had to pull through alone.
I had been away from _____'s side for about two months now and I ached terribly.
My friends tried to hook me up with another girl, but it never felt right.
In fact I felt disgust in myself whenever I saw another girl.
It felt so wrong not being with _____.
Long ago I had convinced myself that being out of her life would only help her, but now I questioned myself.
I could help but think of her everyday and miss her like there was no tomorrow.
But I couldn't just show up and say I'm back.
I went to a friend's house on Christmas day to celebrate.
"Here, bro, it looks like you need one." The host handed me a cold beer.
I wordlessly twisted open the bottle and took a small sip.
Drinking had also tasted wrong after I had gone home drunk after I had fought with _____.
I had just downed whisky that night.
I shivered as I relived it mentally.
I didn't enjoy the party at all that day.
I just sat quietly by myself and absent-mindedly twirled around my wedding ring around my finger.
"Woohyun." Someone called.
"Huh?" I looked up to see one of my long time friends, Sunggyu, watching me.
"Just go back to her. She'll forgive you." He said.
I didn't say anything, but it was okay because he kept talking anyway.
"I know you miss her. I'm sure she misses you too."
My first instinct was to deny it, but somehow I felt he was right.
"And how would it be for her to raise your daughter without you? Do you really believe that leaving her to handle everything alone is best?" He asked.
I thought about hard.
I kept telling myself that my decision was right, but now...
Now I couldn't keep running from the truth.
I have always known that _____ would need me and love me, even though I was such a coward.
I got up and pat Sunggyu on the back.
"Mind if I leave early?" I asked. I was already feeling better.
"No problem. Just hurry up and make up with her."
I slipped on my jacket and went out the door.
With a grin on my face for the first time in a long time, I ran.
_____ I'm coming!
I ran all the way home and unlocked the door with the key I still had for the house.
"_____!" I ran inside.
It was quiet and empty.
The house looked really messy and the TV was gone.
I noticed a newspaper on the table and I picked it up.
There were circled job ads.
All of them were crossed out except for one.
It was a daycare centre near the square where I had proposed to _____.
I dropped the newspaper and made my way there.
I looked around and saw the back of _____. She was talking with another person.
I walked over this time, completely tired out from running so much.
I could hear the ajusshi yelling at her.
"FOR THE LAST TIME, I'M NOT GOING TO HIRE YOU." He exclaimed and turned back into the daycare building.
_____'s head hung low.
She turned around in defeat and saw me.
"W-woohyun?" She asked in a tiny voice.
I softened. She looked really thin and cold.
Without a word I went up to her and crashed my lips with hers.
"Wha-"
"Wait. _____, I'm really sorry for everything. I love you more then anything in the world. I was stupid and foolish and I can't live without you. Please forgive me."
I looked at her with hopeful and sincere eyes.
"You still haven't told me why you left me the first place." She said.
"I was a coward. I was afraid of Sohee, that I wouldn't be good enough for her, that you would love her more then me." I said shaking my head. I couldn't believe I thought like that before.
"So you avoided me and mistreated me for all of that time and you never even told me about how you felt?"
"I know, and I'm really sorry. I'll make it up to you. I just want you to love me again. It was complete hell without you beside me."
"You babo, I've have loved you all of this time." She said softly.
"So...you forgive me?" I asked just to make sure even though I already knew that it was a yes in my heart.
"Don't ever leave me again." She said in a choked voice.
Tears spilled down her cheeks.
I leaned in again and gave her a kissed that promised I would never leave again.
Suddenly there was a happy cry the came from the stroller beside _____.
_____ smiled and lift a the flap to reveal a happy Sohee.
She took her out and carried her expertly.
"Sohee-ah, meet your appa." She said.
Sohee started reaching for me.
"You want to hold her?"
I nodded and carefully held her.
"Our daughter...she's so beautiful, just like you." I had my breath taken away.
We both stared down adoringly at Sohee.
It was one of the happiest moments I had had in a long while.
I felt so happy. So perfect. So right.
I then knew I had made the right choice and came back.
Never, ever would I leave my two girls again.
Watching my beautiful wife asleep soundly.
I really couldn't explain how I felt.
I smiled and brushed a lock of her hair off of her face.
A second later, the bedroom door swung open.
"UMMA! APPA!" Excited voices screamed.
A couple of small bodies jumped into the bed with us.
"Good morning, my little babies." _____ cooed.
She sat up as the kids jumped onto her lap.
Six year old Sohee jumped up and down and four year old Howon begged for his mother's love.
She hugged them both gave them each a kiss on the cheek.
Sohee sat on the bed and faced us while Howon was still sitting on _____'s lap, being spoiled with her kisses.
"Yah, Yah, Yah! That's enough!" I dragged him over to me.
_____ giggled.
"He's just jealous." She whispered to him.
I heard it.
"Am not!"
"Kiss please." I tapped my lips.
She laughed and gave me a quick kiss.
Howon crawled back to _____'s lap and Sohee crawled into mine.
"Umma, I'm hungry." Howon tugged on her shirt.
"Araso, let's go!" She picked him up and walked to the kitchen.
"Want a piggy back ride?" I asked.
Sohee nodded and we followed after them.
"Here, umma, eat this." Howon held out a piece of cereal.
"Umma has to eat a lot." He said as she ate it with a smile.
"Aigoo." She pinched his cheek.
"You're just like your daddy. I'm supposed take care of you, not the other way around!"
I sighed in happiness as I watched my family just be a family.
How lucky I was to have these people in my life.
I looked toward my beloved _____.
Especially her. I might've made a made a mistake in the past, but now I knew better.
I knew where my place was.
It was here.
And I wouldn't ever forget that again.
Thanks for reading!!
Merry Christmas and Happy New Years everybody!
I hope you enjoyed reading this and please check out my other fanfic that I will continue now that this is done~
Until next time! :) - SarahChi1023 ^^
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