Absent
The December Family (Editing—Please come back later!)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9gg7nR9V3q4&list=PLCE3ED2A2A6A019C3&feature=plpp_play_all
(BoA - Distance, FT Island - Distance & Beast - On Rainy Days)
Chapter 3 : Absence
A week before, I had taken a pregnancy test and it come out positive.
I smiled down to where my unborn baby housed itself in my abdomen.
I was excited and couldn't wait to see if my baby was male or female.
Since I wasn't feeling too well, Woohyun had talked me out of going to work, telling me to relax and let him take care of everything.
He sternly told me to make sure to call him if I needed anything no matter what and said that he would be home as soon as he can.
I chuckled in the empty house.
I agreed to him so he wouldn't be late.
I wouldn't call him unless things got really bad, and I doubted that that would happen.
So for the rest of the day, I mostly just sat around and watched dramas on tv.
I grew bored and decided to go for a walk.
I walked around for a long time and enjoyed the fresh air and warm sunshine.
Suddenly I felt a vibration in my pocket.
Pulling out my cellphone I checked the caller ID.
"Hello?"
"Oh thank god, where are you? I thought something happened to you!" Woohyun said from the other end of the line.
"I'm fine, you don't have to worry. I only went out for a walk. I was bored sitting at home without you." I pouted.
"Where are you? I'll come pick you up."
"You don't have to come get me."
"And let my pregnant wife walk home all alone?"
"Yup, because your pregnant wife will be just fine." I smiled to myself.
"But if I wait for you to get home, I'm going to die from missing you too much!" I could practically hear his pout.
"I'm going to walk."
"Nope, I'm getting in the car right now and I'm going to drive around until I find you!"
I laughed and sighed.
"All right then, if you don't find me first, I'll text you so that you know I arrived home safely."
"No wait I'll be right th-"
"I'll see you at home~" I said in my sweetest voice and hung up.
Aigoo, what am I supposed to do if the appa is just as childish as the baby?
I giggled and turned around toward home.
I had arrived home safe and sound while Woohyun was still out looking for me.
To Woohyun:
I'm home~
To _____:
:) Okay good, I'm coming right now. DON'T GO OUT AGAIN. >:l
Within a couple minutes, Woohyun had also arrived home.
"I was so worried." He gave me hug.
"You don't need to worry." I said reassuringly and squeezed his hand.
It didn't work.
"What if something happened to you?"
"Nothing will happen." I said with the same tone of voice.
He still looked skeptical.
"I'm hungry from my walk." I changed the subject.
"Oh yeah, I'll go make you something."
He disappeared into the kitchen to make us some dinner.
I sighed. Woohyun worried too much.
For the next days ahead, I decided to go for walks everyday since there was nothing else to do.
Sometimes I would arrive before Woohyun came home, sometimes after.
Whenever it was after, Woohyun would get worried and get mad because I made him worry.
Because his wife was pregnant, he had been extra careful.
I enjoyed all of the special treatment, but sometimes it was way too much.
As time passed, my stomach started to grow and I was scheduled for an ultrasound.
Hand in hand, Woohyun and I entered the ultrasound room.
On the black and white screen, a picture of a small body appeared.
"These are there arms and this is the head right here..." The doctor pointed out all of the body parts.
"Would you like to know the of your baby?" The doctor asked at the end of the ultrasound.
I looked at Woohyun and we wordlessly agreed.
"Yes." I told him.
"All right, please go to the front and set up for another appointment."
After doing that, we went home.
The drive was surprisingly quiet.
"Is something wrong, jagiya?" I asked intertwining his freehand with mine.
"Um..."
"Whatever it is you can tell me."
"I...can't go to your next ultrasound with you." He said and squeezed my hand.
"That's okay. Why can't you go?"
"U-uh. Work."
"Well, it's work. What can you do?" I gave him a smile to let him know that it was fine.
What I didn't understand was why he was making such a big deal out of it.
He took a second to smile back at me then returned to staring at the road.
I watched as his smile almost immediately turned into a fine line.
His thumb brushed over the back of my hand repeatedly.
His actions were unusual, but I just brushed it off.
It was probably just him worrying about his first child.
I went to the ultrasound alone and found out that there was a little baby girl inside of me.
My heart swelled in happiness and I thanked the doctor.
I couldn't wait to get home and tell Woohyun the news.
When I had gotten home, Woohyun was still at work, but his usual time that he gets off wasn't long from now so I decided to wait on the couch for him.
I didn't realize that I had fallen asleep until I heard the front door unlock.
"...Woohyun?" I half-mumbled, still feeling drowsy.
He came up to me and crouched down.
"Were you here waiting for me all this time?" Woohyun asked softly and caressed my cheek.
"Yeah, but it's fine. What time is it?" I asked.
"Almost midnight."
"You were at work that late?"
"Y-yeah. There was a lot of things we had to get done. Anyways, go to the bedroom and go back to sleep, okay?" He helped me to my feet.
"Don't you wanna hear what the doctor said?" I asked.
"In the morning, I'm really tired." Woohyun had hesitated for a second before he answered.
"Right. Okay then." I said and went into the bathroom to brush my teeth.
After I finished washing up, I found Woohyun already sound asleep in our bed.
He hadn't even changed or washed up.
He must've been really tired, I thought.
I got into the blanket and settled down.
A few minutes later I fell asleep.
First thing in the morning, I had planned to tell Woohyun about our baby, but when I awoke he was already gone.
I was a little bit disappointed, but just decided to tell him when he got home.
I had fallen asleep on the couch waiting for him again and he had snuck in and just went straight to bed.
It turns out that the next day and the next and the next have all gone by basically the same way and I grew tired.
Though I know it wasn't true, I felt like Woohyun didn't love me anymore because he didn't have time for me.
This time, I woke up earlier then I usually would, but I still couldn't catch him so instead I took a nap before Woohyun came home so I wouldn't be asleep when he arrived from work.
I sat quietly and heard the door unlock.
He seemed surprised to see me there awake this time.
Woohyun turned and closed the door behind him.
"Woohyun..." I gestured him over to me.
"_____, I'm really sorry, but I'm really exhausted."
"Please?" I looked at him with tired eyes that pleaded and begged.
He looked away for a second and sighed.
He walked over and took my hand in his.
"What is it, jagiya?"
"You should know..." I pouted.
"...The baby?" He asked.
"You know, I have been trying to tell you for days right?" I asked.
He nodded.
"I'm really sorry, I'm just...."
"Busy." I finished for him.
"Anyways, the doctor said that the baby is female." I said not meeting his eyes.
"You can go get some rest now, that's all I wanted to tell you."
I didn't feel Woohyun move in anyway beside me.
"A little girl, huh?" Woohyun my hand.
I looked at him and gave him a small smile.
He smiled back, but it was noticeably fake.
"Now go to sleep, that's all I wanted to tell you. You need to get some sleep" I told him.
He didn't move for a minute, but eventually got up without a word.
I stayed where I was until I heard Woohyun fall asleep.
As the weeks passed, Woohyun became more and more busy with work, leaving early in the morning and coming back late.
He was also always exhausted after he had come home and went straight to bed.
It was really worrisome.
Each night I would stay up to greet him when he arrived.
One night, Woohyun had come home a little bit earlier then his now usual time of 12 to 1 in the morning.
I sat with him on the couch and enjoyed our suddenly very little together time.
"Jagiya." Woohyun called softly.
"Hmm?"
"Aren't you always tired waiting for me to come home every night?"
"Mm, mm." I shook my head.
"Don't wait for me anymore, araso?"
"I told you I'm fine."
"I don't want you to become unhealthy always staying up late."
He glanced at my stomach.
"If I don't stay up, I'll never get to see you." I protested, wishing that he didn't have to work so much.
"But-"
"Please, jagiya, I don't want to spend the little time we have with each other arguing." I pleaded.
He sighed and reluctantly dropped the matter.
There were a few moments of silence.
"So, yeobo. What should we name her?" I lovingly gazed at my baby to be.
"Name her...whatever you want to." He said
"You have to decide with me. You are the appa." I pouted and lightly punched his chest.
"You pick." He insisted.
I frowned.
"Aish, what a horrible appa. Won't even help pick his little daughter's name with her umma."
He took offence to this, but looked down in disappointment in himself.
"Araso, think of some nice names and I'll pick the one I like best." He said.
I smiled and thought of at least eleven names.
I told them all to Woohyun and he picked the name Sohee.
I was really happy that I finally got to spend time with my husband and that I finally had a name for Sohee.
After that though, I noticed that we never really talked about Sohee.
He would always avoid it and whenever I said 'baby' or 'Sohee' he would tense up.
I tried to understand that work was exhausting him and he loved us both.
But I couldn't help it.
It felt like he didn't want our baby.
He doesn't care for me as much anymore.
He didn't care if I went out for walks anymore, how long I went out for, when I came back.
Only few to no words are spoken between us.
Sometimes I would weep quietly to myself after Woohyun had gone to bed.
It made me question him more then once.
It made me crazy trying to fix it.
And all of this stress was definitely not helping the baby.
I was so sick of worrying, wondering, pleading and trying to fix this problem I didn't even understand.
This time when Woohyun came home from what I can assume was work, things would be different.
So as I sat and waited for my so-called husband I rubbed my bulging tummy to comfort myself.
"Sohee-ah...ottoke? I love you no matter what, and you don't have to worry anymore. I'll find out exactly what is on your father's mind." I spoke in a cracked voice.
The door opened and Woohyun walked in just like any other day.
"Nam Woohyun." I called in a dead voice.
"Ne?"
"Tell me." I demanded.
"Tell you what?"
He could sense my frustration.
"What is this about?"
"Why do you always leave before I wake up and come back late?"
"Because of w-"
"Why do never want to talk to me anymore?" I cut him off.
"You know I'm tired after being out all d-"
"Do you even care for me? Or for your daughter?" I cut him off again.
"Of course I-"
"Well you sure don't act like you do."
"Would you let me finish!?" Woohyun snapped making me flinch.
He saw it and softened.
"I'm sorry if you feel like that, but I can't help it."
"Yes you can." I said in a sharp voice.
"And do what? Quit? How the hell am I supposed to support this family? You're the one just lounging around at home." His voice rose in anger.
"It's called maternity leave." I said.
"Why do you never want to talk about Sohee?" I questioned.
"I'm too ti-"
"Tired? That excuse again? It's only on the subject of the baby you are suddenly 'tired'." I air quoted.
"Wouldn't you be tired if you worked for hours and hours everyday?" He asked harshly.
"You should go marry your work then." I muttered.
"You know what? Go back to work and bring my husband back. I want my husband back." I dismissed him like he was a child.
I only heard the door open and slam shut.
The sound made me jump.
The house was deadly quiet.
It felt so very empty...
I buried my face into my hands and bawled.
Before Woohyun had worried too much, but at least he cared.
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