Gone

The December Family

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1wDA9ALKwU&list=PLA54389B0DAA123D4&feature=plpp_play_all

(U-Kiss - Take Me Away, 4MEN - Baby Baby & Super Junior - Memories)

Chapter 4 : Left

I couldn't sleep for the rest of the night and it was the earliest hours of the morning.

Woohyun still hadn't come back home after he stormed out.

I was very worried about him.

Suddenly I heard a loud racket from in the living room.

I carefully got up off of the bed and went to see what all of the noise was about.

I gasped as I saw a drunk Woohyun stumbling around and knocking things over.

"_____!" He slurred.

He clumsily made his way over to me and grabbed my wrists.

"I love you with...all of my heart, don't you know?" His slurring was so bad, I almost couldn't make out the words.

"But...Sohee..." Woohyun tried to rest his hand on my stomach but almost fell in the process.

"Sohee, what?" I asked carefully.

Woohyun leaned in the kissed me hard.

I pushed him away not because I was mad at him, but because I could taste the beer.

I prayed that it didn't effect little Sohee.

He landed on the ground and struggled in getting up.

I just stood there staring, not knowing what to do.

When he had finally got himself up again, he came back over to me.

"_____, why did you do that...?"

He placed his hands around my waist and seemed to realize that my stomach held a baby again.

His face contorted into one of disgust.

"You again..." He bent down and pointed to it.

It seemed like he was about to pass out so I quickly helped him into the bedroom and lied him down.

Thankfully he stayed and fell into a drunken sleep.

Afraid he would wake up and start this whole thing again, I took a spare blanket and pillow out to the couch.

I lied down to rest as comfortable as I could and finally fell asleep.

I didn't sleep for long and was woken up by someone watching me sleep.

"Woohyun?"

He hastily got up and ran out the door.

I sat up straight and yawned.

He was gone already.

Still tired, I moved back into the bedroom and slept there for another few hours.

When I awoke again, I was already bored and wasn't up for another walk.

Since Woohyun didn't seem to care, I decided to call some friends and go shopping or something with them.

"How much longer do you have?" My friend, Jieun asked as we walked around a mall.

She patted my stomach lightly.

I smiled and told her that Sohee was due in less than a month.

"Sohee's her name is it?" Another of my friend asked.

"Yeah, Woohyun picked it." I said.

It made me feel down thinking about Woohyun.

"How is he doing?" Jieun asked.

"Um...he's been busy with work." Was all I told them.

After going around the mall and buying things here and there, my friends became hungry.

"We should go to that bakery the sells those heavenly waffles!" One friend said.

"Yeah, that's a good idea. It's nearby so _____ doesn't have to walk too much." Jieun agreed.

We left the mall and started heading toward the direction of the little cafe.

We passed by a bar and I noticed something weird.

I stopped and double checked.

"_____ eonni, what is it?" My friends turned back to me.

There was a familiar car sitting in the bar's parking lot.

I checked the licences plate and my suspicions were correct.

Suddenly, anger boiled inside of me and I stormed to the entrance.

"_____ where are you going?" Jieun called.

I ignored her with only one task set in my mind.

I swung the bar's door open and searched until I found who I was looking for.

"NAM WOOHYUN!"

He was sitting on a bar stool talking to guys I have never met.

"Is this your work!?" I asked completely furious.

He looked surprised that I had caught him then and there.

"How did you get here?"

"Is that all your going to ask me? Explain yourself!"

He was silent.

"Is this where you are everyday? Just drinking here for hours while I'm at home alone when I need you?!" I yelled.

The whole bar was listening now.

"You really don't love me do you? You hate Sohee as well I presume?"

"No!" He finally spoke.

"Then why the hell are you here? What happened to the Woohyun that took so much care for me?" I had tears in my eyes that threatened to go over the edge.

"I-I...." I waited for him to finish, but he never did.

I was about to yell at him some more and keep accusing him of what he had been doing, but I heard a voice call my name from behind me.

"_____..."

I took my glare off of Woohyun for one moment.

Jieun and the rest of my friends were there standing behind me.

Jieun took my arm and gently pulled me away.

I turned back one more time to give Woohyun one last cold, hard glare and left with my friends.

Once we left, I burst out into tears.

I coughed a few times from crying too hard.

Jieun patted me on the back while I was driven home.

I kept bawling for a long time, even after all of my friend excluding Jieun who had stayed with me, left.

After I had calmed down some, I told Jieun about everything and how Woohyun was acting for the last five and a half months.
I had only finished explaining when Woohyun abruptly entered the house.

He saw us and looked upon us silently.

We both gave him deathly stares.

"_____, can I talk to you?" Woohyun asked in a soft tone.

Jieun was going to snap something at him in response but I stopped her.

"Jieun-ah, I'll be fine." I said.

She gave Woohyun a look before she left.

"Jagiya, I'm really sorry." He said quietly, almost timidly.

I didn't speak, I had already done my part, now it's time for him to do his.

"I really hate it when your mad at me, please don't be mad at me."

When I didn't answer he sighed.

"Why were you at the bar?" I finally asked.

"After work I...stay there until midnight."

"Why?"

"I want to tell you, but..."

"Do you just not love me now because there is a baby? Or is it another girl?" My words stung him.

"Of course I love you! I only love you! I can't believe you would question my loyalty!" Woohyun's voice started to rise.

My voice rose too.

"Can't believe me?! Says the guy who has been lying to his wife all of this time and won't tell her why he was lying!"

"Maybe it's something important that he can't tell you about!"

"And what is something so important that you can't even tell your own wife about?!"

"It's my business! Not yours!"

"I can't believe you!" My gaze was filled with so much hate.

Woohyun's next action shocked me.

He had slapped me across the face and looked upon me with rage.

I held my stinging cheek as new tears started to fall.

I never thought he would ever strike me.

Woohyun had left and disappeared into our bedroom while I was still trying to comprehend what had just happened.

He came out a few minutes later with a couple of suitcases.

Without even glancing my way he slammed the door shut and drove off.

I sobbed and sobbed, not even realizing that Jieun had come back again.

She held me and gave me empty comfort.

Woohyun had just left, and he wasn't about to come back.

For the next week, Jieun had been coming over everyday to take care of me and tried to comfort me.

Her efforts were futile.

I cried myself to sleep every night and didn't speak during the day.

"Do you want some water?" Jieun asked.

I nodded and continued to stare at nothing.

It was almost Decemeber.

On the second it would be Woohyun birthday and Sohee would be due soon.

I remembered, before Woohyun's 'work' hours changed, we had decided to have Sohee be born in December, just like her umma and appa.

I felt a pang of pain.

It was also our anniversary month.

I wondered where Woohyun was now.

I wondered if he was okay, warm enough and eating enough.

The big hole in my heart ached.

A tear had escaped my eye.

"Nam Woohyun, you babo..." I whispered to myself.

I ran a frustrated hand through my hair again.

I couldn't believe what I had done.

I had struck the love of my life and just walked out on her...and for what?

It was so hard always coming home and finding my wife sleeping uncomfortably on the couch.

It was even harder watching her helpless to my actions.

Why did I lie to her?

Why did I avoid her even though it killed me so much not being able to her voice?

How could you hit your own wife? I thought to myself.

I remembered her eyes that were filled with sadness and hate.

I felt hatred with myself, so I didn't blame _____ for feeling like that.

I missed _____'s beautiful smile, her cute laugh, when she looked upon me with love...

"Do you just not love me now because there is a baby? Or is it another girl?"

"You really don't love me do you? You hate Sohee as well I presume?"

Those questions cut through my heart.

I love you even more then I did before, I answered the first question in my head.

Technically, it was another girl...Sohee...

I love you just as much as I love Sohee. I'm so happy about Sohee, I just...

I lowered my head in shame as tears started to fill my eyes.

I'm afraid, _____. What if I'm not a good father? What if Sohee hates me in the future?

What if you loved Sohee more then me?

The only way to avoid all of my fears was to stay away.

If I stayed it would only makes things harder for _____.

This is it then. This is for the best, I thought.

Nam _____, I love you. Nam Sohee, the same goes for you. I love you both with all of my heart.

I tried to convince myself that this would be for the best.

It was December 2nd, Woohyun's birthday.

Woohyun had been MIA for about three and a half weeks now.

Jieun had decided to stay with me until Sohee was born.

I could feel it. She would be born anytime now.

I had chosen to forget about Woohyun and just focus on Sohee.

It was going to be hard raising her on my own, even though I would have my friend's help, I knew I couldn't just dump my baby on them all of the time.

I had to be strong.

My love for my little daughter would motivate me.

I would do everything I can to make sure she would live a happy life.

Five thirty in the morning my water broke and the pain started.

"Ahh!" I sat up and panted.

"Jieun! Jieun! I think it's time!" I yelled.

She woke up right away and went straight into business.

I was driven to the hospital.

The pain was rising and it started to hurt very very badly.

In the emergency room, we had to wait a couple minutes for the doctor.

"_____, give me your phone please." Jieun said.

I wondered why she wanted it for, but was in too mach pain and just did as she asked.

She left momentarily to make a call, I assumed.

Jieun was outside the room with _____'s phone.

She looked through the contacts and found the person she was looking for and pressed call.

It went to voice mail.

"Woohyun." She hissed.

"Your wife is in the hospital right now. She going to give birth. Are you really not going to be here for her? I won't forgive you if you don't show up."

She left him a hasty message and hung up.

She went back to her friend's side and prepared to assist her in giving birth.

It finally started and I screamed and howled in pain.

"You're doing great! Keep going!" Jieun kept telling me these kind of things.

I didn't remember when but it was over.

It felt like it had taken an eternity.

I breathed easier, with broken breaths.

They had taken Sohee away to do the things they did with newborns.

"You did it, _____."

I gave Jieun an exhausted smile.

I only wanted to sleep then.

Sometime later the doctor came back in with my baby.