Chapter 4

She was a walking zombie when she went out of Yonghwas house. His mom confessed to having second thoughts of the wedding because she feels that Yonghwa himself is not into it. She mostly finds him staring into blank space, his face full of doubts and when he asked him about it he just shrugs, he once asked him if both he and Jenny is so sure about it given that they haven’t really known each other for so long and was only answered with, being together, living together only means marrying each other. Where else will it lead them to? It wasn’t the answer his mom expected but who is she to interfere?  

She said the heavens must be taking her side when Joohyuns mom called her telling her that Joohyun is finally coming home for a vacation, at that time Yonghwa is already in Korea, their Jeju trip was supposed to be for one whole week but she feigned sickness so they went home after just 3 days. The talk was halted when Yonghwa walked in on them and found them head huddled in the dining room seriously talking about something.

She suddenly felt dizzy and excused herself thanking his mom for lunch with a promise to return soon. So it was a surprise to find Yonghwa sitting in their living room that night, her mom telling her she invited him over for dinner saying

“Oh we always have Yonghwa over for dinner once or twice every time he’s back” her mom giving her an eye smile as she put the casserole on the dining table. Yonghwa and Joohyun both eyed at each other not knowing what to say. They ate dinner casually as if there’s nothing brewing between them. After dinner her mom shooed them away stating they need to catch up some more.

“Can we sit outside?” he asked

“Okay”

They walked silently out the door and plopped down on the yard table. The evening is so quiet that it gives you chills. Even crickets took a day off, the air is cold but there’s no sign of wind.

“Thank you for staying”

She turned her head to look at him “I didn’t stay because you said so”

“Still thank you”

“why? you’d feel guilty if I just walk away again?”

He shrugged “maybe but why do I feel you’re blaming me with what happened that night? It takes two to tango you know, coz if not then I don’t remember forcing you”

Her nostrils flared “Did I say I’m blaming you”

“Then why are you acting like this towards me?”

“Are you that dense? Yonghwa, do I have to explain it again? You’re getting married! What we did is beyond unforgivable! I feel like I’ve betrayed every values I’ve learned all throughout the years! What would your fiancée say?!”

“Of course I won’t tell her anything” his voice steady

“Is that supposed to make me feel better? My guilt is killing me Yong!” her words were seething between her teeth in annoyance

“you just have to admit that you wanted that to happen also”

“Why are you so calm about this?!”

“Well do you think we can solve this if we go on a shouting spree? No right?! So I’m handling this the best way I know how. Just admit that you wanted it as much as I wanted it to happen”

She stood up but crouched down so her face is almost the same level as his “Okay so let’s say I wanted that to happen? Does that make it right?! No Yonghwa as I’ve said however you look at it, it’s wrong!”

“Why did you want that to happen?” he asked enunciating each word. He raised his chin up so his face is now only centimeters away from hers

She froze at their proximity but replied “do you want me to really say it again? Fine. Because I’m stupid enough to still love you after all these years. Happy? Does that answer all your question? Now that I’ve answered it, does that make everything better?

She was waiting for him to blow up but was shocked beyond her wits when he smiled widely and took her face in both of his hands and pulled her in for a kiss. She protested and began pushing him away but he was so strong that his lips didn’t even budge from hers. He then let her breathe and smiled wider

“Yes it does make everything better”

He stood up and went inside their house leaving her bewildered, after a few minutes he went out and waved at her

“I’ll see you later Joohyun!” and just left

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

To put it lightly, she feels like she’s now walking on eggshells, with what happened between her and Yonghwa, her conversation with his mother then their conversation. The vacation she was looking forward to destress turned out to be the most stressful in all her life. The medical terms she used to study doesn’t compare to how complicated things are now. She’s like in a pit of a dungeon and there’s nothing for her to do but just look for that saving light.

She was laying on her bed that night with her music box, she kept winding it whenever it ends, the sound is soothing, it brings back a lot of good memories, especially with what she had with him. They weren’t angels, they were each other’s’ first time. The night after they DID IT, he was able to compose a song, he decided to give it to her for their first anniversary, he was just supposed to sing it but when he saw the piano music box he just knew what he had to do.

The music box, the song and every bit of memory, it is all in there. As she was winding it up again, she heard a knock followed by her mom’s head jutting out in the doors small crack

“Can I come in?” she asked

“Sure” as she held the music box to her chest

“Are you still planning to go home this Sunday and end your vacation early?”

She responded with an almost inaudible “yes”

“Joohyunah, I don’t know what happened between you and Yonghwa, I have an idea as to what it is but I’ll keep it to myself however, running away doesn’t solve anything. You’re in this situation already, see through it no matter how sticky the situation may get. You are two consenting adults, you are responsible for your actions, find an equal ground where you can see eye to eye, maybe by then, you will find the answer that you have been looking for and the peace that you have been waiting for. “

She pursed her lips as she absorbed what her mom told her. She was right, running away won’t solve anything, if it counts, she’s the one on the losing end, by the end of the day, she’s the one who’ll end up alone anyways, might as well come to term with it.

Her mom sat down beside her on her bed and took her hand “I have always been proud of you and the person that you’ve become, don’t make mistakes define who you are, make them mold you to the person you want to be”

The corners of her lips curved upward and she just nodded. Her mom left her with a soft kiss on the forehead and a pat on the shoulder

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~

She thought about leaving a hundred times but she decided against it simply because she won’t let another Yonghwa issue topple her life upside down one more time, once is enough besides she’s tired she just wants to relax, although she hasn’t made peace with herself on what happened she decided she will try to make amends and tuck the memory inside the deepest part of her mind until…

“Just dinner”

She scowled as she listens to him on the phone

“I won’t try anything funny, well, as long as you don’t do anything too” she can almost hear him snickering

“Not Funny Jung Yonghwa!”

“Just be ready Seo Joohyun”

He hanged up even before she can protest. Another freakin’ dinner she thought.

He was honking like crazy as she kissed her parent’s goodbye, she noticed how her mom held her hand tightly for a millisecond but let go. She decided to wear t-shirt and cardigan paired with jeans and sneakers. She needs to be as comfortable as she can in this uncomfortable situation

“Where are we going?” she asked exasperatedly as she buckled her seatbelt

“We even haven’t made a turn out our street yet but you already sound tired”

She smirked “Just drive will yah?”

After a few seconds she looked at him and asked again “Where are we going?”

“you know, for a doctor you really lack patience” he sides eye her

“My patience is reserve only for people who deserves it and you somehow fell short off the list”

“touché touché”

Childish as it may seem but it was just the perfect time to stick her tongue out at him

“Very womanlike Joohyun” his tone steady with a hint of tease

“What do you care!?”

He knew if he answers again, their banter won’t stop, it’s not that he doesn’t like their battle of words, he actually enjoys it, feels like the old times but he’s thinking of a lot of things right now, things that may actually change her life..his life

Forever.

The drive took them more than 1 hour to reach their destination. The moon is already up and lighting the lands while stars shone as bright, she stretched as she went out of the car and that’s when she noticed the surroundings, she can see mountains from a di