Bizarre Love Triangle IV

Exam at SM3 Hall. I usually like to take an exam there compared at the auditorium, but that day, I was so nervous for that exam. Every time I tried to recall what I've studied, my thoughts always gets diverted to our kiss the other night. My feeling was really weird. I kissed a lot of guys before but my friend was really right that kissing a girl is indeed different, and I finally proved it when I kissed her again, and somehow, it was also different from our first experimental kiss.

Yes, until now, every time I remember that night, I still feel butterflies in my stomach. It's like that feeling that is mixed with excitement and anxiety.

As expected, I failed that exam, but I didn't mind it, I didn't jumped into the bandwagon of students who gets depressed with it. I just accepted that I failed that exam. Super super fail. Gosh.

We decided not to put a label on what we were doing. She often stayed at my room. After our classes, we both go straight to my room. Not because we make miracles but we always just talk, then we make out.

I somehow forgot Jaehwan. He got together with his pretty girlfriend again though I still have feelings for him. I didn't forget him completely and he still talked with Taeyeon. Jaehwan even sent voice messages to her. I know, he was such a flirt, he didn’t get contented with his girlfriend who was even very pretty.

Summer ~

We both agreed to stop everything between us and go back as friends before another school year starts. But before the summer classes ended, I said goodbye to her hoping that our paths won't cross anymore since I will be transferring into another apartment with my sibling and since I will be an intern already. There will be a lesser possibility of us seeing each other more often. Her communication with Jaehwan continued. I got hurt, yes, but somehow I got confused why I felt jealousy. Was it because Jaehwan still liked Taeyeon? Or because I didn't like Taeyeon to entertain somebody else?

Internship came, of course I was beyond enthralled of the fact that I passed the hell days of third year. Taeyeon was somehow still in my mind but I tried my best to forget her and her addicting kisses. I was so positive that I would eventually just forget her since we weren't really in a relationship in the first place though when we were still "together" I felt her care for me. And of course I got guilty that's why we both agreed to stop because she herself told me face-to-face that I was just making her a rebound just to forget Jaehwan. Which was true.

After a few weeks since internship started, of course, the excitement of us interns were all gone. Laziness started to creep in from waking up early in the morning to go for duty. One day, we met for pizza after my duty and her class, then I invited her at my new place and the next day, she went again to our apartment since I didn't have work that day.  The following day, she slept in our apartment again. Then we did our craziness again. I wasn't sure if we had a label that time but somehow I got giddy when she told me "it's alright if you're not my girlfriend, as long you are just mine." . It felt like I was watching those Korean dramas. I never thought of the possibility of feeling giddy because of a girl.

We were still groupmates with Jaehwan who was my forever seatmate through those years when we struggled to pass our subjects. As his groupmate, I was still aware of his craziness, and her relationship with her pretty girlfriend was rocky once again so he was looking for another rebound girl. He tried to contact Taeyeon again. He asked me her number and again, I just gave him without thinking of what Taeyeon would feel. I favoured Jaehwan again over Taeyeon who was the one who made an effort to show me importance. I was close with Jaehwan and he also gave me importance but if you compare it with Taeyeon, she's too far ahead.

Fast forward to 4 months later...

I was on night duty that time and I was with Jaehwan. The entire night, we were just talking about random things.

He would put his arms on my shoulders and during the morning rounds after that night, he volunteered to go with the Registered Medical Technologist so that I would be free from the hassle. That night, he was extra sweet than his usual treatment to me. It was when I evaluated everything between him and Taeyeon. I weighed the pros and cons and I came up with a decision. I didn't know if my decision was right but I know it'd be for the better.

I texted Taeyeon that I would meet her outside the school hospital's laboratory after my duty. But before I logged out, we were already kinda arguing on the phone through text because I told her that I didn't want our situation anymore. But to make everything clearer between us, we decided to talk after my duty since it's always better to talk things personally.

When I came out of the laboratory, she was already waiting outside the gate and she bought breakfast for me and my sibling. Yes, she loves me like that and guilt started to build again in me. When we arrived at the apartment, we ate in silence. After eating, she got me inside my room and she opened her bag and took out a shoe box. She gave it to me and smiled sadly. Slowly, my heart broke.

"I know this will come. You never loved me anyway." She said.

Please Subscribe to read the full chapter