I was sat on the chair, lean my body close to someone who lied on the bed of hospital with a pipes stuck in her skin. My tears wouldn’t stop since when Minho told me about my sister was hospitalized.

“please bring me to her” I begged him, I know he will but at the same time I can see scare paint on his face. He scared if I meet my sister, I’ll leave him.

He hugged me tightly and held my head to his chest “but you have to promise me for not leave me. I am so scared if you leave me. Even you just ignored me after the party, I felt so hurt. Pain all over me. And now, I cant imagine what would happen if you leave me.” He whispered, suddenly I felt my blouse was wet.

He cried.

He was cried.

I was want to loosen my hug but he hush me to move, he doesn’t want me to see he cry or maybe he doesn’t want me to response what he said. He probably know what would I say.

“Minho, can you just act cold like before?” I asked, “act like you don’t care about me like the first time, cold and….”

“no please don’t continue it!” he cut me.

“why? I don’t think if you continue to act like this will be good for both of us. I am a woman Minho. Being feel care, safe, feel…love like this makes me greedy. I just want to stay at that zone forever. But we know, we can’t.”

he loose his hugged, he looked at me while my eyes just stare at the floor. I really hate for being too honest.

Am I too confidence? Is he love me, too?

Or, he just assume as a good friend? Or a little sister? Who knows?

I was about to place my palms on my face, covered it. But, he held my arms for not. “look at me” he said.

He lifted my chin so I could look at his eyes. At a few moment we were talked eye to eye, no one said a word. But suddenly, “is that what you want? Leave me?” he asked.

I closed my eyes, a tear dropped from the corner of my eyes. I nodded slowly, tell him that I want to leave him. I want to get out from the zone. I cant stay at that zone for a long times, it’s just make me hurt. And probably not only me, I will hurt Minho, Sophia, my family as well.

Stay with him, means I will be forever with him. But how about my family? I need to go back to the reality. Made cake and help my mother. As what I said before, San Francisco is just a place that God want me to visit. To meet peoples. To face how good and cruel world is.

“I need you say it yourself, Shinhye. Do you want me to disappear? Do you want me to leave you?”

I held my breath for a while and said “Yes”

He gulped, stare at the ceiling and closed his eyes for a moment and then he nodded sadly, “okay, let me bring you to your sister.” He said.

“no, it’s okay Minho. I can take a cab. I just want you to give me the address.”

Believe me, I really want him to stay with me even just a second would be precious. But, I cant be greedy. I cant keep him go near me, it would be hard to let him go. he helped me a lot, I don’t want his help more while I just gotta hurt him.

he leave me without word, I placed my palms at my face, sobbed.

A few minutes later, I saw he walked out from his room bring my luggage with him and a paper wrote where my sister is.

“someone will bring you there, he probably has wait for you at the lobby. And, this is your luggage.” He said coldly, just like what I asked him.

I held my tears for always stream my face, as I took my luggage with me. “Thank you” I said and walked out from his apartment. Luckily Sophia was at her room with Moa, if she know I leave, she would be hurt also with Moa. But more than it, I thought I was the one who can’t face them because it’s already hurt enough to leave minho.

I was stay on the hospital for almost 6hours. It’s already dark outsid