Soonyoung was happy to be home. There was no doubt about it.

But he couldn’t help but feel like something was wrong.

His parents welcomed him back with open arms and teary eyes. His siblings hugged harder than he had ever been hugged before.

That wasn’t what was odd to him. It was more of how they talked to him.

His parents were extra careful not to say anything about seeing the black. No, that wasn’t exactly right. It was like they were pretending like it never happened.

The worst was at dinner.

“So, I can’t wait to go back to school. I swear, I missed out on so much stuff. God, I don’t even know what to say to all my friends. But at least I can tell them I’m not crazy.”

His mom visibly flinched.

Soonyoung noticed it. “Is there something wrong?”

His mother smiled. “It’s nothing. Just...I’m sure they missed you too.”

“Ohh..kay,” the boy slowly said with a frown.

“Don’t worry, Soonyoung. I’m sure with time everything will go back to normal. And everything will be the same again,” his father said.

Soonyoung frowned even deeper. “What do you mean? Things are normal. The doctor told you, right? I’m not crazy! Crazy isn’t even the right word for it. I…just can see things other people can’t.”

“You’re just tired, Soonyoung. Maybe you should go to bed early tonight.”

“Wait, are you avoiding the topic?”

“What are you talking about?” his mother said with a smile.

“I’m talking about when I went to the hospital. I’m talking about the things I can see.”

“You’re making no sense, Soonyoung. I guess this day really took a lot of you,” his father replied gently.

Soonyoung could see his siblings slink down, trying to avoid any conversation.

Soonyoung stood up. “I’m going to my room.”

“But you hardly ate!” his mother exclaimed.

“I’m… not hungry anymore,” he muttered, throwing them all a glance and walking off.

 

“Hey, Soonyoung. Can I come in?”

The boy snorted. “You never asked before. Why the sudden change?”

The door opened and revealed his older sister.

Soonyoung was lying on his bed with his headphones skewed so he could hear his sister better.

She smiled awkwardly and tentatively sat on the edge of his bed.

“You okay?” she asked.

He glanced at her and sat up, scooting closer.

“What the hell was that all about?”

She looked away and then to the door. She pushed it shut. She then turned to him and sighed.

“Mom and Dad… they don’t like to talk about your… situation.”

“I’m not crazy,” he insisted angrily.

She glanced at him. “You said you could see things that no one else could.”

“But there are people who can see what I see!” he argued. “Well, I mean some of them. The black blobs, I guess, I’m the only one who can see that.” He shook his head. “But that doesn’t matter! I’m home. Didn’t the doctor tell you that I’m normal?”

His sister pursed her lips. “I don’t know. Mom and Dad never told us what she told them. They just said everything will go back to normal. They were pretty insistent about making it like you never went to the hospital.”

“But why?” he asked. “It’s not like I’m something to be avoided. Like a leper or something. I’m fine. Don’t you believe me?”

She blinked and shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t know. But I know when you’re joking around and when you’re serious. And right now, you’re serious.”

“So, when are they going back to normal?”

She looked at him sadly. “Soonyoung, this is normal. At least for them. You must understand. They didn’t know what to do when you were admitted to the hospital. All they could do was act like there was nothing wrong with you.”

“But this is normal!” he insisted again.

“But to Mom and Dad, it isn’t.”

“They can’t accept it,” Soonyoung finally said. “The fact that I had to go get ‘treated’. That there was something wrong with me. Even though I’m perfectly fine.”

“Can’t you pretend that you can’t see whatever it is that you see? Act like nothing’s wrong?”

Soonyoung looked at his sister in shock. It didn’t occur to him that he should do that. And if he did, he would be able to go back to how it was before.

But all he could hear was Jay’s voice. How he shouldn't be ashamed of his abilities. And if he pretended to act like it didn’t exist, then he was essentially acting like he powers were weird and abnormal.

He shook his head. “I… can’t do that.”

His sister sighed. “Then what are you going to do?”

He looked at her sadly. “I don’t know.”

 

Soonyoung decided to go back to the city. He wanted to walk around and get used to seeing a lot of people again. He still was nervous of the possibility of seeing the black figures again, but he knew that they were still human. It was only his perspective that showed him that. He remembered Jay telling him that it meant that the person was under a lot of stress, but she seemed to leave out certain details.

He sighed. Honestly, he wished he could see her again. Despite only meeting a few times, he felt comfortable around her. That is was okay to be himself. He thought he would able to do that at home, but he was wrong.

“Stop it guys.”

Soonyoung stopped walking and turned around.

He wondered he if had any other abilities, such as summoning people that he was thinking of, because Jay was standing a few feet away from him.

Her back was facing to him, and she seemed to be looking at someone or something.

“Stop it, Jihoon. Don’t… oh my god.”

She froze for a split second and took off running, pulling a boy with her.

Soonyoung stared at the empty space where she was previously and cursed his lack of reaction. He wanted to talk to Jay and ask her for advice.

It was such a sudden spur of motion that he was starting to think he imagined the whole scenario.

He sighed and started walking again. He was so deep into his thoughts that he didn’t realize where his feet took him.

He stared up the building, the feeling of familiarity washing over him.

 

The doctor looked up in surprise at the visitor.

"Soonyoung!" she exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

He smiled awkwardly. "Hi, Dr. Kim. Just thought I would pop back around here. I mean, this was something like my second home."

She smiled. "Soonyoung, we both know that yearned for your real home. The fact that you're back so quickly means that something's wrong."

He sighed, dropping down to the chair, slumping down. "I guess you're right."

"What's wrong?" she asked.

Soonyoung opened his mouth, but the words didn't come out like he expected it to. Instead of venting his worries to the doctor, he asked something else.

"Do you think if there is some way to contact Jay?"

 

Jay was exhausted. She appreciated that the guys decided to take her out, but she knew it wasn't going to be a nice simple day the moment Jihoon started cussing.

They had encountered someone whom Jihoon knew from the streets and their meeting wasn't a pleasant one. They immediately started to argue, and it looked like a fight was imminent any time soon.

But Jay wasn't going to let that happen. She pulled the spitfire of a boy called Jihoon by the collar of his shirt, gave a knowing look to the other two to run, and shot off in the other direction.

Once they were in a safe distance from the opposite party, she let go of Jihoon, who was not happy about how Jay manhandled him, and put her hands on her knees.

"Seriously, Jihoon?" she half wheezed, half shouted. "Did you really have to pick a fight?"

He scowled. "I never did like that ."

She sighed. "Try and not pick fights?"

"No promises, princess."

She scowled and opened to retort but was unable to when her phone started to ring.

"Hello?" she answered.

"Hi, Jay. It's Jungah. Do you think you can stop by my office really quick?"

"As in now?"

"If it's possible."

"Mmm," she hummed, glancing at the other three. "Yeah, sure. I'm in the area anyways."

"Thanks, see you soon."

Soonyoung played with the hem of shirt. He didn't understand why he was so nervous.

When the doctor called Jay, he didn't expect for Jay to come immediately.

He had expected to meet her some other day. Not at this exact moment.

His thoughts were still all muddled and tangled that he didn't even know what exactly he wanted to talk to her about.

He sighed, hating feeling so confused.

Life was easier before when all he did was mess around with friends, enjoying each day peacefully.

He sighed once more, slinking down his chair, and blew his hair that was covering his forehead up.

He occasionally kept glancing at the door, half expecting it to open.

He turned his head to look and this time it did open.

Jay walked in looking tired, and Soonyoung immediately shot up, sitting straight up in his chair.

She locked eyes with him and smiled pleasantly.

And for some reason, Soonyoung felt instantly calm. He couldn't help but to smile back.

"Hey, Soonyoung. Jungah said that you wanted to see me?"

Soonyoung stared at her for a millisecond too long and shook his head to clear his thoughts.

He cleared his throat and gazed at her with a serious expression.

"I... I don't know how to function anymore," he finally said.

She gave a confused expression, raising an eyebrow.

He started to wave his hands in an attempt to get this thoughts across. "I mean, I don't really understand it myself."

"Well, try and tell me what is bothering you. It doesn't have to be the main problem, if there even is one. Maybe there are little things that's bothering you. Like your sister took the last pudding from the fridge or something."

He grinned. "That would be something I would do."

She laughed softly. "Then what's bothering you?"

He looked down, playing with his fingers. "I guess it's things aren't the same anymore."

Jay gazed at him carefully and nodded slowly.

"Did you expect it to be?"

He looked up. "I mean, yeah! I was supposed to go home, be with my family, joke around with my friends at school..." He trailed off. "But it's like nothing's changed! Like nothing happened!"

Jay blinked. "You're contradicting yourself. You say that you want things to be the same, but it's because nothing's changed that it's bothering you."

He paused, trying to sort out his thoughts.

"You're right. I'm not making any sense." He shook his head. "You know what? Never mind. I think I need to sort out my thoughts before anything. Sorry for bothering you." He stood up, shaking his head.

Jay snorted, rolling her eyes slightly, grabbing his arm. "Sit down, you fool."

He was surprised by the amount of strength she had when she pulled him down to force him to sit back down.

"Look, you're confused. I get it. I'll stay here with you until you get it all out, ok? You're not alone on this. I told you before, right? I'll be here for you."

Soonyoung audibly swallowed and nodded.

"Start with this feeling of wanting things to be the same again."

He blinked and looked up. "I wanted things to be the same in the sense that people would treat me like they did before. They would joke around with me, be friendly with me. There were no pretenses around me."

"Ok," she nodded slowly. "Then what about this contradicting feeling that nothing's changed?"

He frowned. "Nothing's changed as in..." he trailed off, forehead furrowed deep in thought. "As in like this period of time when I was in the hospital didn't exist. Like the feeling of everyone walking on eggshells around me."

He looked up. "And that's what's bothering me. But why?"

Jay gave a half smile that made her look like she understood.

"That's it then."

"What?" he asked in confusion.

"You want people to accept you the way you are now. You don't want people to pretend like what happened to you didn't exist. You want things to be back to the way it was in the sense that people accepted you with your personality and experiences you had. But you went to hospital and were thought to be schizophrenic. And even though you aren't, people are still afraid to say anything. Who is it that is pretending like it doesn't exist?"

Soonyoung looked down. "My parents," he muttered quietly.

"And that bothers you because we think family is the one of the few people who should have the capability to accept you for who you are. It's hard to accept yourself when the people you trust doesn't."

Jay smiled kindly. "Don't be frustrated with your parents. I assume that it's some kind of defense mechanism. Their son is admitted to the hospital under the pretense that's he's schizophrenic. They want to love you, but they don't know how to."

"So what do I do then?" he shouted in frustration.

She shook her head with a sad smile. "I wouldn't be able to tell you. But I can give you some advice."

He looked at her expectantly.

"Talk to them. Communication is key. Try and tell them what you feel. Things like this needs time, I think."

"But what if they still don't understand?"

She pursed her lips and thought for a second. She glanced around the room until she saw a notepad and a pencil. She quickly scribbled on the paper and ripped it off, handing it to him.

"If you feel like you're struggling alone, call me. I'll let you stay at my place." She paused. "And there's something I haven't told you."

He watched her expression, which looked sad and apologetic, wondering what she was going to say.

"I actually fight those things you see. Nibras. And I was contemplating on asking you to join my team."

"Your team?"

"I have a group of people I lead to help fight nibras. Your ability to see people before they transform is incredible and I feel would greatly benefit our efforts."

"Why didn't you ask me then?"

Jay looked away. "I couldn't...take you away from your family. I knew how important they are to you. Even if you refused, just by me asking you, I would have given you more stress just thinking about the option."

Soonyoung didn't say anything.

"But the only thing I can offer you is a place where you can stay and the people there will accept you for who you are. You don't have to join my team and just stay there until you feel comfortable to go back. But I also wouldn't mind if you do join. However, joining my team will mean reducing contact with people from your current life. Of course, we don’t completely cut off contact, but we do limit to a minimum. What we do is dangerous and we don’t won’t anyone who isn’t involved to get hurt. But I want you to be sure of this decision."

She stood up and smiled gently. "Sleep on it and let me know. Don't act too hasty either. Understand why you're doing this and if this is worth it."

Soonyoung watched as Jay disappeared behind the door, leaving him to his own thoughts.

He looked down at the piece of paper between his fingers. It oddly felt warm to the touch and gripped it a little tighter.

He took a deep breath, closing his eyes. And then once more.

He opened his eyes, a glint of determination in them.

The first thing he needed to do was to confirm this feeling.

 

He could tell that they were confused.

Why would their youngest son sit them down at the table with such a serious expression.

Kwon Soonyoung was never a serious boy.

He could see from his peripheral the shadows of his brother and sister listening in from the hallway.

He turned to look at this parents who were sitting across from him.

They looked confused and nervous.

Similar feelings that he, himself, was feeling.

He took a deep breath. "Mom. Dad. I want to ask you something."

"What is it, honey?" his mother responded.

"What do you think about me?"

His parents looked confused. "What are you talking about?" his father replied. "Aren't you Kwon Soonyoung? Our son who loves to joke around?"

"And how did you feel when I was admitted to the hospital?"

His parents froze for a second before smiling.

The look on their faces made Soonyoung feel sick to his stomach. He never realized how fake it looked.

"What are you talking about?" his mother laughed.

"I was in the hospital for nine months under the impression that I had schizophrenia. But I was released because that wasn't the case."

His parents didn't say anything, but they looked like they were sitting on tacks.

Soonyoung took a deep breath. It was now or never. He wanted his parents, his family, to believe in him. That even though he didn't have schizophrenia, he still didn't lie about seeing those things.

"I can see things. They're not ghosts, but they're...bad things. I can't do anything about seeing them, but I plan on accepting that I can into my life. But I'm still the same Soonyoung. There is nothing different about me before and now.” He looked at them expectantly. “I hope you can believe me."

His parents blinked at him, a tense silence surrounding them.

Until they started to laugh.

"Oh, my. Soonyoung! I can't believe you're joking around!"

"That's right! You made it seem like it was something of life or death. You shouldn't do that to us!"

"No, Mom! Dad! I'm telling the truth!" he stressed desperately.

"Soonyoung!" his mother shouted, slightly angry. "This is not something to joke about!"

"But I'm not joking around," he cried out. "This is who I am!"

"We're not going to hear this," his father declared.

Soonyoung stared at them in despair. He had truly hoped this wouldn't happen. He felt a lump in his throat as he tried to swallow his saliva.

"I...I...can't do this. If you can't believe me, who will?" He paused and shook his head. "But there are people, aren't there?" he murmured to himself.

He looked sadly at his parents. "I'm moving out."

"What?" they both shouted in surprise.

He looked down. "There is someone who's letting me stay at their place. I...think I need time away from here. I don't want to think that I'm crazy even in my own house. I don’t want to lie to myself."

"What about school? And everything else?"

Soonyoung smiled sadly. "I thought about that already. I'm already on leave from school. I put in another year of leave. Or at least until I feel more comfortable to go back. Right now, I need time."

He looked at his parents and smiled. "I love you, Mom and Dad. But until you can love me back as I am, then I can't be here."

He stood up, not looking back. He had a feeling that his parents wouldn't stop him, but a part of him wished that they did. He didn’t want to think that his parents were secretly relieved that he was moving out.

He turned the corner to come face to face to his siblings.

They looked surprised and flabbergasted.

"Are you serious, Soonyoung?" his sister gasped out.

"Do you believe me? About what I said I can see?"

His sister looked away.

He looked at her sadly. "There's my answer."

Soonyoung silently walked past them and closed the door to his room behind him.

He slid down the door limply, crawling into a ball. He put his face to his knees and breathed deeply.

He didn't know it but silent tears dripped from his face as he clenched that piece of paper tightly in his fist.

It was the only thing that was keeping him from going haywire. The only thing keeping him calm in front of his parents. The only thing that reminded him that there was at least one person who believed in him.

 

His parents didn't see him off. He knew that if they did, it would only confirm that they weren't able to go back to how things were before.

His sister did though. She even helped him bring his bags outside.

"You didn't have to do this," he murmured.

She shook her head. "It's the least I can do. Mom and Dad might be avoiding the problem, but I'm not. I know this is what you need."

He was quiet. "Do you believe me?" he asked one more time.

She looked at him before looking towards the sky. "Honestly? I don't know. You're the type to mean what you say when you're serious. But I can't wrap my head around it. It's...confusing."

She turned to look at him and gave him a half-smile. "I’m sorry that I can't give you a more definite answer."

He shook his head and smiled. "No, that's enough for me now."

They looked at each other and hugged each other.

And just as they pulled away, Jay pulled up in her car.

"I'll miss you, Soonyoung," she murmured. "Don't hate Mom and Dad. You know it's difficult for them."

He laughed softly. "No, I know. And that's why I have to leave."

 

Jay looked at the boy next to her. He was quiet, in his own thoughts.

She focused back on the road despite there being no cars and the road was endless dirt.

"Have you decided?"

He looked at her at the sound of her voice. "What?"

"Have you decided," she repeated. "If you want to stay in the house as a resident of my team or not."

He blinked at her and chuckled. "I actually forgot about that."

"You don't have to if you..."

"No," he interrupted. "It's not like that." He paused. "I have a question though."

"What is it?"

"This ability of mine. Will it really be of use?"

Jay didn't say anything for a moment. The she shrugged. "Who knows. It's up to you."

"Up to me?"

"Are you willing to face that you have this ability and use it or simply not? It's up to you if choose to accept it or not. You may think you are, but you don't know until you actually face it in person."

He was quiet.

"But I'm giving you the opportunity to if you choose to join. It's up to you."

He stared at her before he looked forward ahead of him.

"Ok."

She glanced at him sharply at his immediate answer before turning back to the road.

“I don’t want you to say yes because you feel obligated to. Don’t feel like you need to. I am completely fine with you just staying at the house temporarily.”

He shook his head. “No, that’s not why. This ability of mine. I don’t know what to think about it. I want to accept it even though it frightens me. It's funny, you know. I told my parents they had to accept this part of me, but I don't even know if I even accept it myself."

"But that's why you're here, isn't it?"

"Is it?"

She laughed. "It's not? I think that if you choose to live in some stranger's house willingly, you must want to change something. That or you simply want some adventure. Though I wouldn't recommend it. What if I was a murderer or something?"

"Maybe it's both," Soonyoung chuckled. "But I doubt you're a killer."

She raised an eyebrow. "You can't make that assumption."

He laughed. "But you're probably right. I need some excitement in my life." There was a pause of silence. "Yeah, I'll do it. I want to do this."

Jay turned to look at him and smiled softly.

"Great. However, there are some people who want to meet you.”

 

Jay opened the door where three males were silently watching television. They all turned to look when the door opened.

“Hey guys,” she said brightly. She patted his back gently. “You got a new comrade.”

Soonyoung stared at the other males.

And that’s when Soonyoung realized that Jay never called her companions “pets”.

 

Seungcheol gazed at the boy slowly, eyeing him up and down.

He was bright-eyed and nervous, something he didn’t see in the other two males of the household.

Jay had told them before she had picked him up that she had found someone to potentially join the team. Someone she said had eyes that were more sensitive than theirs.

She had asked them if they were okay if he said yes to her proposal.

Jisoo smiled and nodded as he always did, trusting Jay like he always did.

Jihoon frowned and told her that he didn’t care, but Jay didn’t take that as answer. She had to persistently bug him until he gave her a straightforward answer which was a “Fine! Yes! God, woman.”

And he was the last one. And like always Seungcheol wasn’t sure.

He thought it would good to finally have another person on the team. But Seungcheol was a wary person. He honestly wanted to meet the person before deciding.

Which is what he had told her.

She looked surprised but accepted his statement with grace. She told him that she would let him judge for himself.

So now that Seungcheol was standing face to face to their potential teammate, he still didn’t know.

“This is him, then?” Jisoo asked, smiling at the male. “What’s your name?”

The boy looked at Jisoo and grinned. He immediately took Jisoo’s hand and shook it energetically.

“The name’s Kwon Soonyoung! Nice to meetcha!”

Jisoo smiled awkwardly, trying to pull his hand from Soonyoung. “It’s nice to meet you too. My name is Hong Jisoo.”

“So you here to mooch of Jay or are you here to kill things?” Jihoon asked brutishly from the couch.

Soonyoung blinked at him. “Neither?” he answered confusedly. “Or rather both?”

Jihoon snorted. “It’s either one or the other.”

“Um,” he hesitantly mumbled. “I’m planning on joining the team?”

“So, you’re here to kill things,” Jihoon reaffirmed.

“I guess?”

Jihoon glared at the boy and sighed. He looked away and focused his attention back on the television. “God. I should have said no. You’re the type I hate.”

“Well, I don’t like you either!” Soonyoung childishly retorted back.

He frowned until he noticed that Seungcheol was still staring at him.

“What. Do you not like me too?”

Seungcheol didn’t blink. “You have a family?”

The other male was a little taken aback. He looked away. “Yeah,” he murmured and didn’t say much more than that.

Seungcheol didn’t know what else to say. This boy was different.

He had a family unlike the rest of them. He wasn’t affected by nibras like they were. Joining the team wasn’t a last resort for him. It was a true bonafide option for him.

But Jay chose him. He had abilities that would help with defeating the nibras. Something that even Jay didn’t have.

Seungcheol sighed.

“Well?”

Seungcheol looked at Jay who was watching them from the kitchen stool.

He shrugged. “I don’t have any reason to deny him.”

She clasped her hands. “Then I guess it’s settled.” She gestured to Soonyoung to come to where she was sitting.

He obediently walked over.

Seungcheol frowned. “Are you going to officiate him?”

She nodded.

He frowned again watching as Jisoo stared at them wide-eyed and Jihoon looking disgusted.

“Officiate?” Soonyoung asked.

Jay place her hands on the boy’s shoulders. “Do you trust me?”

The boy looked puzzled as he slowly nodded.

She smiled and leant in.

She whispered a few words like usual but to Seungcheol it looked like she also whispered a few words to Soonyoung as he turned his head to her in surprise. She chuckled and continued to say words that they didn’t understand. A light breeze fluttered through the room playfully and teasingly which she then placed her lips on the boy’s right temple.

Soonyoung immediately pulled his head back, bringing his fingers to lightly touch the side of his temple.

She giggled and patted him on the back. She hopped off the stool and gestured with her head towards the stairs.

“Come one. I’ll show you to your room.”

Seungcheol didn’t blame the befuddled look on Soonyoung’s face. He was pretty sure they all had the same look.

Shocked, embarrassed, but also pleasantly surprised.

 

---

It's been awhile. School has been taking a toll on me.

Here's a longer than usual chapter to make up for it.