It’s all just so clear now. I knew it, what my mom and Krystal hide from me. It’s about me. I remember now, when the doctor talk to me. The way she made me forget about something that i should’t remember. The things that made my life become miserable. It might be true that i shouldn’t remember that. But, the memory came back again in my life.

I feel so sorry fo Kim Heechul. It’s all my fault that he death. It’s my fault that his parents lose their son. I don’t know what to do now. I’m really going crazy, just thinking about how could i imagined that he’s back in my life. Not as a man who lived, he came back to me as a memory that didn’t want to be forgotten.

 

(flashback)

“Sicca...” someone called me. He’s the one that i’ve been waiting for. I wanted to meet him in this park. He’s going to leave, how could i just let him go. I can’t. He can’t leave me.

I saw him running. But suddenly, it happened...

He’s hit by a car.

That stupid man who i loved, fell to the ground. Dying...

I ran to his body, i lifted his head and put it on my lap.

“Oppa, wake up. Can you hear me? Kim Heechul-sshi? Do you hear me? Wake up!!! Don’t you dare to leave me alone in this world. Please, wake up...”

I was crying, shouting to him. But, there was no response. The tears kept falling from my eyes. I didn’t sop crying and shouting to him.

The ambulance came and brought his body to hospital. I hoped that it wasn’t too late, or else i wouldn’t be able to see him. I wouldn’t be able to see his smile again. I wouldn’t be able to hug him, forever.

We arrived at the hospital. His parents came.

“Sicca, what happen?”

“I’m sorry, it’s my fault that he...” i couldn’t say it anymore. I just cried in front of her mom and covered my face. And then my parents came.

“what happened Sicca?”

“Omma...” i hugged my mom.

The doctor came out from the ER room.

“Who is the patient’s parents?”

“I’m his parents.” His dad and mom said it together.

“Come with me, i have to tell you something.”

My mom told me to go home. Then i went home with my mom, my dad stayed in the hospital and wait for Kim Heechul’s parents.

I waited in my room and crying.

Then i heard a news, a really bad news.

He died. Kim Heechul is death.

I caouldn’t do anything. I just kept shouting and crying.

I didn’t even come to his funeral.

(end of flasback)

 

This is what i’m feeling, i feel miserable. I couldn’t safe the one that i love. He died because of me. But i just couldn’t say that i remember all of this to mom. She’s already miserable with what i’ve done. I should continue to live, for my family. Bu i would keep this sadness in my heart. I would keep Kim Heechul and the memory of him, just in my heart.

Krystal saw me in my room, and she came to me.

“Onnie, are you ok?”

“I’m okay.” I smiled to her.

“oh... still tired?”

“yes.”

“but it was fun, right?”

“yes, very fun. It’s been long time since we didn’t go shopping together.”

“i’m glad you are happy. I’m happpy to see you happy.”

I hugged my little sister. She could always make me feel better when i was sad.

“Onnie, let’s watch movie today...”

“today?”

“yes, please. I haven’t gone to watch movie with you since... hmm..”

“huh, ok, ok. We’ll go.”

“yeay...” i’m happy to see you happy, my little sister. I said that in my heart.

Krystal has already bought the ticket.

“onnie, hold this for a minute. I want to buy popcorn and soft drink.” She handed me the tickets.

I was wanderin and seeing what movies that are shown in this cinema.

And suddenly i hit a man. He dropped his books. I helped him to take the books.

“Sorry, here’s your book. I’m reall... sorry.”

It couldn’t be, am i dreaming again? i’m stunned. It coudn’t be him. It’s Kim Heechul, or, i imgined him again.

“hmm, miss.. are you ok?”

He didn’t know me. Or just pretending to not know me. Is he still mad at me, because i ‘m the one who made him die?

“hey, miss, are you ok?”

“uhh? i.. i’m ok. Here...” i handed him his books. Or just imagined that i’m handing books to Kim Heechul.

He walked away.

“Onnie?”

“uh?”

“are you ok?”

“i’m.. yes. I’m ok.”

“wait here. I.. i have something to do. Hold this..” Krytal leaved me.

I wait here, in this cinema. Alone. I’m thinking about what just happened. Is it real or i’m imagining him again. Am i being hunted by Kim Heechul? Or i’m hunted by my memory?

The time i spent with him, just came up again to my head. I could feel the pain, the pain of our memory. It’s not fair. How dare he leave me alone, and then he haunted me? That was just no fair. I’m also hurt.

But i know, clearly. It’s all my fault. I couldn’t blame him.

Krystal came. But i think it’s already late to watch the movie. I realised thet Krystal’s gone for 2 hours. An i’ve been thinking of Kim Heechul for two hours.

“I’m sorry, onnie.”

“ooh? It’s alright. Let’s just go home.”

 

 

(Krystal’s pov)

Today, i’m going to watch a movie with Sicca onnie. I think it would help her to forget her sadness.

We’re arrived at the cinema. I think i should buy popcorn.

“onnie, hold this for a minute. I want to buy popcorn and soft drink.” I handed her the tickets.

I went to buy the popcorn and the softdrinks.

After that, i came back to Sicca onnie. But, i stopped for a moment. I saw him. I saw Kim Heechul with Sicca onnie. My sister is handing books to him. I could see, Jessica was stunned to see him, i was stunned too.

After he leaved, i came to my sister.

“onnie?”

“uh?”

“are you ok?”

“i’m.. yes. I’m ok.”

“wait here. I.. i have something to do. Hold this..” i leaved her alone. And then I ran and looked after Kim Heechul.

I stopped him.

“Kim Heechul..”

“oh? What?”

“Is it real? You are Kim Heechul right?”

“No, sorry miss. I think you got the wrong person. I’m not Kim Heechul. I’m Lee Taemin.”

“what? It couldn’t be. You are definitely Kim Heechul.”

“How can i be Kim Heechul. I even don’t know who is him. I’m Lee Taemin.”

“Oh, sorry. But can you look at this.” I showed him Jessica’s photo with Kim Heechul.

“waw, he looks like me. It’s like i have a twin. But i’m sure it’s not me. Is this guy stayed here, in Korea?”

“Yes.”

“Has he ever gone to the US.”

“I think, he has gone there.”

“well, he’s no me. It’s the first time i’m in Korea. I’ve lived in the US for the whole of my life.”

“Ohh, sorry. I think, yes, i think i got the wrong person. I’m really sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

I think i have to go back to sicca onnie. It’s been two hours i think since i left her alone. I saw her, i think she’s thinking about Kim Heechul again.

“I’m sorry, onnie.”

“ooh? It’s alright. Let’s just go home.”