PART 14

Even before I even open my eyes, my hand blindly roamed my bed sheets for my phone.

Good morning <3

I’m eating breakfast right now.

Have you woken up yet? You’ll be late for school!

I’ll be working. =)

My eyes squinted at my phone’s brightness and they soon curved into tiny slits at the good morning text that was sent roughly an hour ago.

A tiny laugh escaped me and soon, another set of giggles emerged from my lips.

“Aish.” I read the text again and I was by now fully awake. No alarm clock was needed. No cold icy water was needed. No intimidating mother’s screaming was needed. Her texts made me more alert than I can ever be. I hated the way I would giggle at simple good morning and good night texts from her. It was childish and I can’t imagine Jessica’s reaction if she ever gets to see this side of me.

“Whipped idiot.” I could almost imagine her saying that, her eyes showing that evident boredom which never seem to dissipate.

But honestly, people just don’t understand. People who aren’t in my shoes will be like-

“It’s just a good morning text. Why are you so hyper? What’s so cool about this? Stop overreacting. Is that a heart? Ew. EW. EWW.

Okay. Maybe I was exaggerating about the last part but seriously? I used to think sending hearts were extremely cheesy too but now that I’m experiencing it, I would like to take it back. It might be cheesy receiving it from someone you don’t like but when it’s that person, there’s a big change. You’ll understand sooner or later.

Good morning! I’m up now >< I don’t have class until 1 today

I scrolled through tumblr and eyed the window. It was raining again. The best weather I like to wake up to.

I kicked my legs out and shivered as cold air came in contact with my exposed thighs. It was half past 8 in the morning although the dark sky outside said it was more like 8 at night.

-

“Good morning mommy.” I said and grimaced at the fact that nothing came out but air. It was OK this morning when I sang in the bathroom so I couldn’t fathom how I would sound exactly like a strangled flamingo right now.

“Ah! AH!” I slightly screamed as I tried to find back my voice.

“Hello? Hello?” I wheezed and cleared my throat a few times.

“You’re awake?” I turned my head to my mom and nodded mutely from the stairs.

“Are-“ I started but nothing came out.

“A-“ I tried for the second time but still, the word wouldn’t come out like how I want it to be.

I watched how my mom raised her fine eyebrow up questioningly.

“Hm?” She encouraged and I meekly pointed to my throat all the while shaking my head. She must’ve gotten the signal because a scowl marred her face and soon, her palm rested flaty on my forehead.

“I knew this was going to happen when I saw you eating that big tub of Dairy Queen last night.” She mumbled and I stayed silent. It’s not like I can talk anyways.

“Cut down on any cold stuff darling.” She pinched my cheeks and walked to sit at the dining table.

“You won’t have class until afternoon right?”

I nodded and picked a grape before throwing it into the air.

It hit my nose instead of my ajar mouth and rolled onto the floor. My eyes stared dejectedly at it before I took another one. It met the same fate as it’s fellow.

“That’s not how you do it.” My mom stifled a laugh and she threw one into the air, catching it perfectly into .

“Easy.” She shrugged, her jaws munching on it satisfyingly. I chuckled with difficulty as I squat down to pick up the two grapes from the marbled floor.

Of course it’s easy mom. You know how to do it.

“Anyways, I’ll be going to the clinic now. Can you drop by the supermarket to fetch some stuff?” She brought out a tiny paper and handed it to me.

“S-ure.” I croaked.

“Don’t speak. You might scare the kids.” She cackled and kissed my face before grabbing her coat and a grey umbrella.

“I’ll be going now!” She waved, opening the front door and I could see the hard rain pouring down, making loud splashy sounds on the pavement. “I love you!” The front door slammed shut and the sound of the rain was muffled again.

I looked down to the unfortunately long list of items my mom wrote down for me to buy. I haven’t stepped foot into the market but I could already imagine scenarios of me having an extremely hard time carrying these back into the house.

-

I coughed as quietly as possible. I watched my surroundings and gazed at the rows of tomato paste aligned perfectly in front of me. Which one does she want again? She’ll kill me if I take the wrong brand.

Ping

My phone’s screen lit up and I exhaled when I see Jessica texting me to send her my notes which she had completely forgotten about.

With one hand holding the basket, I typed back a reply.

I’m not home right now.

Liar. You just don’t want to send me your notes

I gawked at her fast reply and took a photo of my surrounding.

I’m on a mission right now.

I grabbed a jar of tomato paste and placed it into the basket.

Ping

Tiff I bet you took that picture ages ago

This girl’s imagination was way too high for my liking today. I scoffed and walked to another aisle. I’m not going to explain myself any further to this crazy lass.

Ping ping ping ping

“ nah.” I placed my heavy basket onto the white tiles and dialed her.

“Heyyyyy.”

“I really am at the supermarket right now Jess.” I croaked mentally cursing at my horrible groggy voice.

“Dang gurllll you sound smoking hot.”

“Shut up we both know you’re lying and that I sound stupid.”

“Ok ok let’s go back to texting. Your voice gives me cancer.” She hung up and my lips pulled down in distaste.

I was about to text her but then, I saw a girl around the age of 6 standing by the candy aisle with her hands over her face.

“Hey?” I trudged to her and got down on my knees to get to her level. Soft sobs came from her and from her shoulders going up and down intently, I could tell she was crying.

“Hey what’s wrong?” I tried to sound nice. I really did but with this darn voice, it was nearly impossible to sound caring. She was standing alone and maybe she was lost?

“Where’s your mommy? Hey stop crying it’s okay.” I wrapped my arms around her but her  curled fists immediately shot out pushing hard against my s. . My eyes bulged as she drilled harder into my s.

My mouth sealed shut as I suppressed any noise of pain.

“OKAY okay! I won’t hug you.” I screeched quickly as I recoiled quickly from her little body. This kid is Satan in disguise I swear.

I stood back up onto my feet and looked around for an employee which right now seemed to be anywhere but near me. My frown deepened as the kid cried even harder People glanced at me and was probably thinking I was a rascal that bullies her little sister.

“Hey. Aish!” I ran a hand over my face and picked up my phone to call someone that might help.

“Hello?”

My stomach flipped at her voice along the line. Okay this was not the time to fangirl over her voice.

“Hey.”

“Woah did you catch a cold?” I could hear her chuckle lightly.

“Hm something like that. But are you busy right now?”

“I’m about to go to a meeting soon but it won’t hurt to talk for a few minutes with my girlfriend right?”

Heat rushed into my face and I smiled hard.

“Oh my gosh.” I muttered very very softly.

“Hm?”

“Nothing! Well I’m shopping right now and I’ve met a little problem here. There’s a kid crying and she won’t stop crying. She won’t talk to me and there’s no one with her. You know I’m not good with kids.” I rambled while Taeyeon listened silently.

“I’m not surprised since your voice is quite scary.”

“Taeyeon! I’m serious!” I whined and she cackled again. I could already imagine her head throwing backwards, her sly little dimple appearing again to prove her happiness.

“Sorry! I’m joking. But anyways, she might be lost. Hm…you said she won’t stop crying?  Well you can try to buy her a lollipop or something to cheer her up. Then ask her what happened.”

I looked at the girl and back to the box of candies next to her.

“Wait.” I said into the phone and crouched down again.

“Hey little girl. Can you please stop crying? If you do, I’ll promise to buy you a lollipop ok?” I watched her and my eyes widened when she peeked up from her palms, her eyes red and wet with tears.

“Ok?” I raised my right hand to touch her wrist. I was putting my chest in jeopardy again.

I waited for her reaction and when she nodded, I yelped and pulled her into a hug. This time, she didn’t push me away nor crush my s. A good sign.

“I guess you solved the problem. I ought to go now. You can thank me later baby.”

I heard Taeyeon say from the other side and she hung up. Did I hear it right? Did she just call me baby?  I must be hallucinating but it can’t be. I heard it clear and loud. Baby? This was the very first time.

“Oh my gosh.” I said and almost forgot I have a kid to take care of. I paid all my attention onto her although at the back of my mind, I was replaying her voice over and over.

“Stop crying you know. It’s not good.” I mumbled as I used my thumb to wipe away the droplets of tears from her pink cheeks.

She pouted and I pouted too.

“What’s your name sweetheart?”

“O-Ophélie.”

“Ophélie what happened? Can you tell me why you are crying?”

“I can’t find my brother.” She said, her voice shaky and vulerable. So that was the reason. I knew it.

“You can’t find your brother hm? It’s okay I will help you find your brother. Does that sound good? Now stop crying and here, pick your favorite one.” I waved my hand to the various boxes of sweets by my right side and I could see how her eyes sparkle with delight.

I have a feeling today’s going to be a good day.

-

My ears rang from the numerous voices of students filing out of their class. I gripped tighter on my laptop that was hugged tightly into my chest as the hall had less space to venture.

“Oh my god.” I drawled out, my voice extremely scratchy and raspy. I swerved through a tall scrawny boy standing by his locker and turned the corner and pushed into the library. The loud voices of the students faded into faint noises when I shut the glass door lightly. I searched for Jessica and sighed in relief when I spotted her sitting at one of the huge tables there.

“Hey!” I sound exactly like a walking zombie.

“Tiff don’t say another word.” Jessica said and went back to her laptop’s screen.

“What are you doing? Are you drawing a blueprint? For what?” I forced my voice out as I peered my head to see what she was doing. Nobody told me we had this assignment.

“Oh my gosh my ears are bleeding!” She screeched and I slapped her.

“Seriously!” She said and burst out into tiny giggles.

“Not funny!” I cleared my throat in an attempt of speaking clearer but I just aggravated the condition.

I couldn’t speak at all.

I poked Jessica and pointed to my throat.

“You can’t talk?” I nodded.

She waved me off and started looking through her books and her bag.

I nudged her and gave her the WTF face.

“Hold on. I’m trying to find your voice.” She picked her laptop up and looked under it.

“Whoops sorry looks like your voice is GONE! HAHA!”

This girl was unbelievable. Did she really just do that?

I tried coughing but it didn’t work. It’ll come back eventually anyways. I fished out my phone and typed in it.

What are you doing?

I selected it and pressed speak. A man’s sound read out my message to Jessica.

“It’s a rough sketch of a building. I’ll be submitting this to the school next week. You know for the competition.” Her eyes never moved the screen as her palm moved her mouse everywhere.

My eyes widened as her words soaked in. What competition? What building?

My fingers typed furiously onto my phone.

What competition? How come I don’t know about this?

I let the male voice read out my message although it was way too slow for my me.

“You don’t? It’s up on the billboard in front of the school’s office. The university is opening a competition for students with architectural major. We all have our chances to draw our own small section of the new branch that will be opening later this year. The best one will be chosen and will be used to build the new campus.”

My eyes were straining to pop out of their sockets. No way. Something this big and I didn’t know?

Why didn’t you tell me?!

“I thought you knew!” She screeched as she faced fully towards me. “You didn’t know about this? It was all around the school a few days ago!”

I started freaking out and fortunately, my voice came back to me.

“Jessica! This is not funny oh my gosh why am I missing out so much? Can I sign up now? Is it too late?”

“Yeah they closed it just this morning! Tiff I thought you knew that’s why! And HEY your voice is back!”

I ignored her comment and sulked. I take what I said this morning back. Today was not a good day.

-

It was unusual that Taeyeon haven’t texted back. I lay on my stomach and scrolled through our chats. It was 9 and she would normally reply by now. It was becoming a habit of me, to reread our chats again and again.

Taeyeon?

I sent a text to her and rolled onto my back. I was actually worried, regardless of how absurd it sounds. And besides, I miss her although it’s been what? A few hours?

“Hmm…” My throat was getting a tad better but I didn’t understand why my eyes were hurting so much. I shut my eyelids and they burned intently above my eyeballs.

I opened and closed and opened again. I really did miss Taeyeon. What was she doing? I unlocked my phone’s screen and with bated breath, I told her how I felt.

Taeyeon? Where are you?

My fingers hovered for a moment before I exhaled loudly.

I miss you…

I was hella sleepy although I didn’t know why. It was only 9 and I didn’t want to sleep. Like at all. I can’t sleep when she hasn’t replied. I want to at least talk to her for a bit before I sleep. But I guess it was impossible to fight against sleep because I didn’t even know when I fell asleep.

-

My eyes fluttered open slowly. One of my legs was dangling from the edge of my bed and I realized I was so close to falling off my bed.

“I fell asleep?” I muttered and to only widen hugely.

“Taeyeon!” I bolted for my phone and stared at the time. It was 12? Since when did I drift to sleep? I checked her text and from what she had written, I could tell something was strangely out of place.  She asked if we can talk and that was sent an hour ago. That was the only message.

Hey! I fell asleep. I’m so sorry are you still here? We can talk now!

After a moment, she replied.

Hey.

Something was terribly wrong ok?

Taeyeon! What’s wrong? Are you okay? Where did you go?

Alright maybe that was a lot of questions but it was really bugging me.

Can we meet?

My fingers froze mid-air.

…right now?

It was already a quarter passed midnight and I had to check my watch again just to make sure I misread the time.

Yes.

Before I could type a reply, she sent another text.

I’m outside of your house.

I jumped off my bed and almost tripped over my slippers as I ran out into the balcony to look down.

“Taeyeon?!” I said as my heart paced faster. She was really in front of my house, leaning on the side of her car. What was she doing here?

I called her name again and she looked up, our eyes meeting.

“Wait! I’ll be down in a second!” I rushed downstairs although I was cautious about the noises I was making. I didn’t want my mom to come out and know I’m lurking around the house at midnight.

I unlocked the key and swung the door open. A gush of wind hit me in the face and sent wild strands of my hair into my face. Meeting my lover in the middle of the night. Sounds just like a cliché romantic film.

I stepped out and realized she was already sitting on the front porch, her back to me.

“…Hey.” I softly uttered. I paddled slowly towards her before sitting down beside her. The moon was bright tonight and it’s light shone on us, illuminating the dark.

“Hi.” She greeted, a broken smile pasted on her face. She was a disaster. A mess although a very beautiful mess.

Her hair was tied into a very messy blob and her face was devoid of makeup, covered by huge glasses. Her eyes looked sad. They portrayed sadness and exhaustion.

“Taeyeon.” I stared at her, not knowing how to start.

“I told him.”

“…what?”

She laughed although it wasn’t the usual laugh she usually gives. This one was hollow and empty. Almost sadistic somehow.

“I told Taehyung about us.” She covered her forehead with her palm and stared down at her sneakers.

“And…and what did he say?” Although I know that the outcome mustn’t be pleasant since here she is, on my front porch at midnight.

“He just…he was mad. He said all these things that were…true.” Her voice was trembling and I had to strain to hear her words. True?

“Taeyeon what did he say?” I watched her staring intently at her shoes instead of my face. This was the first time I’ve seen her strip down into this fragile self of hers. This was the first time the cool calm collected Kim Taeyeon isn’t here.

“It doesn’t matter. I just need you here with me. That’s all. It doesn’t matter now.” She repeated and my lips stretched down into a frown. I didn’t want to force her into saying things she wasn’t comfortable with saying. But I really wish I can do more than this and comfort her.

“Hm…it’s alright if you don’t want to.” I mumbled softly and placed my palms flatly on the wooden floor. I sat back a little and gazed up at the numerous stars shining high up above.

“Are you sleepy? I’m sorry I called you out in the middle of the night.”

“No! It’s fine! I…I was…missing you anyways.” I shyly professed and the corners of her lips twisted up a little.

“If you’re sleepy, just sleep on my shoulders.”

I blushed a little and nodded. She gazed up at the sky and I inched closer to her with bated breath. Very slowly, I bent my head and rested my cheek on her shoulder. I managed to sigh in content when her scent overflowed my brain again.

She hummed a random tune and I shut my eyes, listening to her voice. It was a slow sad tune, one that kind of masks many raw emotions.

Then, she stopped.

“Do you think I did the right thing to ask you out? Am I being fair to Taehyung? Because…I think I’m not.”

At her statement, I blinked open my eyes and something inside me dropped down with a dreadful thud.

“You think you’re not? What…what do you mean?” She wasn’t regretting was she? She wasn’t trying to re trace her steps was she? Because that would mean…

“I think I’m being unfair to him. I knew he liked you but I took you away from him.”

“But you’re-“ I stopped a little and managed to finish my sentence.

“You’re the one I want. Not him.” She eyed me, her eyes finally having some sparkle in them.

“I know.” She smiled and I lifted my head to stare into her eyes.

“You’re not at fault you know…” I trailed off and she sighed deeply.

“I know but I feel very guilty in a way. You get where I’m coming from? I’m dating the person he’s liking. It just sounds so wrong.” Her voice cracked at the last part and my heart clenched with agony.

“Hm…I understand. He’ll eventually understand. I’ll talk to him if I have to. I can’t stand seeing you guys like this. Please Taeyeon stop thinking it’s your fault. It’s not. You can’t control feelings. It just comes.” I reached for her hands and squeezed them tightly.

“There are so many stars tonight.” She said completely out of nowhere.  I followed her gaze up and eyed the tiny specks of light that decorated the night sky.

“It’s beautiful isn’t it?” She questioned and I nodded. 

“Just like you.” My heart skipped a beat when she said that. I’ve never had anyone compliment me straightforwardly like this before. 

"Have you seen yourself?" I shot back. 

"Yes and I am aware of my beauty." She threw her head back and cackled into the quiet neighborhood. Well that is true. I inspected her the whole time and when she had finally calmed down from her laugh, I turned serious.

"How are you feeling now?" My hands moved up to cup her tiny slim face.

"I'm a lot better now and it's all thanks to you." She replied and my heart warmed uncontrollably.

 Her eyes were literally glinting under those huge rimmed glasses and lord she was just so beautiful. I was once again gawking at her so to make things less awkward, my fingers curves around her glasses and I pulled them off.

“They’re so dirty.” I wiped the glasses with my shirt and inspected it. “It irks me when I see people wearing dirty glasses.” I sheepishly said which is true. I wiped it again and held it up to see if it's clean.

She was watching me the whole time and I was trying to act like I’m not bothered by it. 

I slowly put her glasses back onto her face for her and I couldn't pull myself away from her eyes. Then, I did something I never expected I would ever do. I didn’t know what got into me and I didn’t understand what pushed me into doing it either. All that I knew was me leaning forward to kiss the tip of her nose. After I officially registered what I did inside my head, tiny bubbles formed in my tummy and my mind swirled and melted into a gooey mess. My heart pounded against my ribcage hard and firm.

Her eyes showed surprise and I was also equally shocked by my own action. But that wasn't where I stopped. With my head spinning and the gears falling out of place, I threw my arms around her body and hugged her tightly. 

"Taeyeon." I mumbled into her neck and she tensed.

"I...I think I love you." My heart sped up and by now I didn't know what I was saying anymore. 

"I...just ok." With a sigh, I guided her hand to my chest and let her feel it for herself. I'll let my heart speak to her because I believe it can convey feelings that can't be put into words. Her pupils were big and dark as her palm rested on my heart that was speeding up even more by the second. 

With her hand still there, she also took hold of my hand and put it on her chest. My eyes went huge as I felt her heart that was exactly...like me. I could feel the organ beating against my flat palm rapidly.

"Tae-"

"Does this mean I feel the same way?"

-

Thank you so much for reading. I didn't reread this so please let me know if you spot any mistakes. I'm sorry if this is crappy. 

In life, you can't control who you fall in love with. You fall in love mysteriously, unknowingly. 

A chapter dedicated to my friend, the French accenter lol ok wut 

//wiggles le booty// 

x