Truth 004

“It takes a second to succeed or fail a new relationship.”

Jieun snuggled further into her thick blanket, her skin warmed by her own body heat in the enclosed area. Her phone rang on the small, wooden desk on her left side, awakening her from her slumber. She assumed the blaring noise was her alarm clock she forgot to turn off. The noise bounced off the walls for a couple minutes before her eyes fluttered open. She winced at the little rays of sunlight seeping through her window shades.

Her fingers swiped left without looking at the screen as the noise abruptly stopped. The girl thrashed her body, wiggling like a caterpillar before laying comfy on her side. She stared at the white ceiling above her, feeling physically lazy to move and stretch her limbs. Minutes passed by as she blinked and peered at the empty blank canvas.

Her arm shimmied out of the comforter, hand messily grabbing her phone and pressing the home button to see the time. 11:11 am. She was semi-shocked to wake up late in the afternoon, but knew of her late-night activities. The girl’s mind drifted off to last night, reminiscing with a small smile.

Her phone vibrated against the hard surface once she laid foot out of her steamy bathroom. The hot air dispersed into the colder atmosphere, fog clearing up from her mirror. One hand held tightly on the towel wrapped around her body, the other ripping open the dresser drawer and grabbing the first set of pajama set folded above other article of clothing. She dressed in a casual fresh pair of gym shorts and a maroon t-shirt. The girl plopped her front frame on the bed, arm reaching out to grab her phone. 9 new messages, all from Baekhyun and Kai. Not to mention meaningless messages of their nonstop bicker.

Inwardly, her teeth pressed down on her gums before smacking her lips, erupting an audible ‘bap’ noise. The two were different, and in the aspect of how a stranger would view them. Despite her exaggeration, she knew she could get the schoolgirls approval of their cool and chic role at school. With the obvious addition of how handsome they look. In her eyes, they were elementary kids who blame each other in a squabble. A squabble that none would take responsibility in, thus leaving two immature people in the process. Her eyebrow arched in amusement of their banter and childish behavior. Her mood was lightened despite being annoyed by the spam and turning the group’s notification to silent like Sehun. A conversation with no grudge or hidden motive. Simply for laughs and jokes. Something so simple.

Jieun would have been more than happy if she had a close bond to them, but she didn’t. She had no right to join in and joke with them. Their act of natural friendliness displayed was uncomfortable. No text message or input squeezed between theirs did make her feel self-conscious. She didn’t want to type and say the wrong words. Nor did she want to give them faith that she succumbed and wants to be their friend. The girl knew nothing about them, but she didn’t exactly know why she suppressed her surprised face under a poker face by their mini actions. Personally, knowing someone like how they probably knew each other since they were in diapers made her feel jealous. And becoming personal was the main reason her heart rejected the open invitation.

Jieun never had best friends to talk secrets and half-baked things besides one person. Would she call her, her ‘best friend’? She texted her every now and then, but ever since she moved overseas because of family obligations did the two not talk to each other every day. Each day they became more distant, and to this day she called everyone around her an ‘acquaintance’.

The girl had a well-mannered personality and socialized well with everyone at school for activities before they assimilated back to their self-proclaimed group. Along the way, she was left uncategorized and in her own group, working individually and occupying herself with a paper and pencil.

She roughly placed her phone back on the nightstand and walked over to her computer desk. Her sat on the rolling, computer chair, her legs ing backwards against the floor and propelling herself closer to the desk. She pried open her heavy-duty black laptop and logged herself in. She flicked an on/off switch and turned her wireless mouse on. The white cursor moved on the digital screen as her hand moved the device. She clicked on the kakaotalk icon and opened the top conversation labeled ‘???’’.

‘???’ was a mysterious guy she befriended as a penpal five months ago. Jieun registered on a website to indulge herself in the aspect of interacting with a stranger with similar interests as her. Her best friend suggested it one day, stating that her experience with the site was great and she wanted to share her discovery with her. It’s easier to talk to a person behind a screen, not face-to-face. The benefits: time to think through an answer and no physical judgement based off appearance and actions. However, she lost time and almost patience and hope after failing two conversations as the messages failed to keep going, ending on a blank note. Her friend gave her another push and the next person hit it off for her. Amazingly, his witty and innocent comments kept the ball rolling to text each other often every three or so days.

The two knew little about each other. Being pen pals for five months and discussing our basic day, hobbies and other weird topics had never engaged them to go deeper into a serious note about their lives. No name, no specific detail about their lives and only little facts that come out here and there. Jieun knew that he was for one a male, a year older than her and lives in China to this day. After one message where he’d rather leave out our information, did she respect the idea. He kept his identity a secret and so did she.

The keyboard clicked rapidly to the pressing of her fingertips, her messages firing back quickly to the mysterious guy. The chat box got longer and longer as dusk took over the room, the only light source beamed from the bright screen upon her.

She groaned in exhaustion of little sleep in her system, forgetting the exact time she bid him goodbye. All she remembered was how casual and easy it was when she talked to him and how she should've ended it early, but she kept joking around when he brought up the fact of how much he ate this week. Jieun ended up not revising her notes last night either with her chat occupying her that night, her brain automatically knew she had to double up the work tonight.

Her body shifted positions under her comforter, creating thin wrinkles to the fabric. Her upper body rose, sliding the comforter down to her waist. She twisted left and right, cracking and readjusting the bones of her spine. No matter the effort, she couldn’t get one knot untied on her lower center. Jieun sighed and swept her legs from the covers to the edge of the bed; legs dangling one inch off the floor.

Her feet pressed against the hardwood floor, sending mini chills to her legs. She lethargically walked to the bathroom to freshen up and later fulfill her ‘to do’ checklist. One main thing she needed was a brand-new sketch pad. Her current one was at the brink of running out of pages from her nonstop scribbles and doodle.

Jieun attired herself in a pair of black skinny jeans and a large white t-shirt with three words bolded in black: Amor Lonely Hearts. She threw on a light blue jacket, zipping it up halfway/ Her fingers thread themselves through her locks of black hair, sweeping them up into one hand held in the center above her occipital bone. Her unoccupied hand tightened the hair in place with a black hair elastic. She faced her small, red desk mirror and examined her reflection. Despite the gray bags evidently visible under her eyes, she was satisfied with her okay appearance. She grabbed her small shoulder bag off her chair and swung it over her neck and onto her shoulder.

The girl walked out of her apartment complex and was met with a sudden wind chill. Her nerves reacted to the pressure of the wind on her skin. She lifted her head up, gazing at the large, gray clouds overcasting the buildings. She forgot to check the hourly weather forecast today and mindlessly reentered the building to grab a small umbrella that hung off the nail jammed into the concrete wall. She walked out and fumbled to lock the door, cursing under her breath that it was a bad day.

Her footsteps pattered the sidewalk, enveloping its sound into the population of other footsteps. Her eyes focused on walking in the correct path to the bookstore, however, she managed to take a step back and observe her surroundings.

The streets were crowded more than usual; the weekend and rush hour being the cause. Cars zoomed past the green traffic light, leaving only a trace of exhaust gas in the atmosphere. People chattered in pairs and groups or like her, engaged in an independent walk to their destination. Their faces all held different emotions and expressions, mentally noting them down to recreate for her future project.

After walking the last crosswalk and a few extra steps did she stand in front of her target place. She muttered to herself how homey and majestic the brick building looked.

The Great Escape. The store was a combination of two themes: book and art. Jieun’s two favorite things. The little corner store was a quiet, homebody place on the verge of being popular. She discovered the place when she walked hand and hand with her mother one day. The girl visited the place at least twice a month for new supplies or a place of comfort as her head hid behind a new book, captured into the storyline.

Jieun pulled open the entrance, a tiny bell ringing above her. She was met face to face with the front counter and a tall and lanky guy. Her childhood savior, Minhyuk.

“Welcome back princess. Getting more supplies or you couldn’t get enough of my face.” He smiled and chortled. I returned his smile with an honest response.

“Don’t call me that! Let’s see...I’m going to go with the first option, I get enough of you when I come.” Minhyuk worked here every Saturday and knew her needs when she comes. It’s usually the same stuff, buying supplies, but in the rare cases he provides her company.

“Aww don’t be like that. I know you love me.” He responded and she replied. “Sure, I do.”

She walked off to the right side of the store,