Too late.

Not that he could do something about it.

Youngjae froze in his seat, one hand strangling his pen, the other on the side of the desk to keep him steady and his eyes wide opened, fixed on his copybook. If someone had looked at him at that instant, they would have thought that he was simply concentrating on his task.

Actually he wasn't reading, nor writing, nor looking at the exercises on the book, all he could see were random words written there, but he didn't have a focus. He couldn't.

His heart started to beat faster and faster, he could feel its echo in his brain and on the middle of his now sweated palms. He felt like he was not in his own body anymore, his mind was somewhere else and even if he tried multiple times to make a move, ANY move, his hands and legs couldn't respond to his brain's command. Nor he could talk or think rationally, the only thing he wanted was getting out of that place and being able to scream, cry or simply tremble without being discovered.

He was is a limbo, both obvious and unaware of what was happening around him, having a conversation with himself in his head, telling his limbs to go, ask the teacher to stay in the infirmary for a while, faking a stomach-ache and leaving that hell, but he perfectly knew that he needed to cool down before being able to do so.

After a few minutes his breathing got a little bit slower and the instant he could, he went to the teacher's desk and asked to leave.

His teacher looked at him with empathy, scanning the boy's pale face and dark circles, then finally giving her approval.

It was Youngjae's first time in the school's infirmary and it was definitely a sight he could live without; the room was extremely small and everything was white. Youngjae hated white.

The only figure that could be distinguished in the old room was a janitor, dressed in a grey uniform, eating a hamburger while checking his phone. Wow, does anyone even know what sterile means here? Thought Youngjae, after closing the door behind him. The old man in front of him told the boy to lay on the white camp bed and after asking him if he was okay (Yes, because you would go to the infirmary if you feel ok) he got back to his business.

Actually Youngjae was feeling a lot better, almost back to his normal self, but didn't feel like going back to class, so he decided to stay there for a while, clearing his mind.

He perfectly knew what has happened.

PANIC ATTACK.

Panic attack:noun, Psychiatry.

1.an intense attack of anxiety characterized by feelings of impending doom and trembling, sweating, pounding heart, and other physical symptoms.

Also called anxiety attack.

The first time Youngjae read those lines on the online dictionary, five months ago, he cursed.

Then he learned to live with that.

He decided to hide everything from his parents (who honestly didn't actually care about him, so why even trying to remember them they had a child) and, by himself, went to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist nodded at Youngjae's report of his now changed life and after giving a quick analysis, he hand him over two prescriptions, sent him away, telling him to come back in a month. The psychiatrist's words still lingering The boy's mind.

“You're not an isolated case Youngjae-sshi, I met so many young people like you, usually much worse than you. I'm giving you this cure to help you facing all this, but I am sure you can get over this just with a psychologist help.”

Youngjae tried to take the drugs, but they caused him to collapse from drowsiness in the middle of the morning.

Eventually, he decided to stop and deal with the consequences, actually surprised that he was doing quite well. He felt, after his first panic attack, he could win. Despite everything he had to face, he could always end the day without crying. He felt unbreakable.

But it had never happened at school, he pondered.

Hearing a delicate metallic sound, The raven-haired boy raised his head, seeing a small, red haired girl smiling in front oh him. Naeun.

He tried to hold back the tears menacing to fall from his tired eyes.

Was he actually that unbreakable?

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Hello everyone! I'm so happy you're enjoying this story so far.

Does this make it all clear? I'm curious, what did you thought was actually happening before reading this chapter?

Please comment and tell me what you think about this chap too

NOTE: In this story I am facing an extremely difficult and delicate subject. Everything that I write doesn't suggest how to act properly in this cases, so don't take it as an example but as an experience.

If you suspect to suffer form anxiety or any mental disorder, talking about it is fundamental.

And also, even if this chap is not the happiest of all, it was necessary to explain Yougjae's character.

PS: RECENTLY YOUNGJAE AND DAEHYUN HAVE BEEN CRITICISED FOR THEIR ASPECT ON SNS. Spread the hastag #jaeisperfect and comment on daehyun's instagram pic :)

I'll end my speculation, Have a nice day people :)