Trust was such a heavy word. But it was one of those things that were so easily looked over, taken for granted. Something that was taken lightly until it was thrown right back at their face with little care.

Jessica wasn’t a child; she knew the repercussions of blindly throwing her trust to people. No, there was no one she trusted fully. If she told one person her secret it wouldn’t be a secret anymore. If she asked for a promise, well, as the sayings go, promises were meant to be broken. She knew how true that saying rang, remembered the crushing feeling as the father that promised her the world suddenly up and left one night without so much as a goodbye. Watched the mother that brought her up smile and lie to her face, blissfully oblivious to the knowledge the young girl had of her nightly escapades to escape the reality of their situation.

If she couldn’t trust family, really, who could she trust but herself?

She had friends growing up. She had a number of them of whom she hung out and talked with and shared homework answers. They were never really the same group as she graduated from middle school to high school and then to college. Years passed, people changed and she did too.

When college rolled around she decided to go with the flow, it was easier that way. The classes were mostly the same: assignments, projects, deadlines. The people were different, no more of the familiar faces to have lunches with or share homework answers. Known associates became few and far in between and by the end of her second year, she could barely remember the faces of the people she once used to laugh with.

Dating became a norm, and despite the load hanging over her head, she made time. The guys that took her out were never the same one twice. They asked her out she agreed and once the date was over so were they. No one has really caught her attention long enough to secure another date, they were either too bland for her, or too nervous of a man, or talked too much, or talked too little. Maybe she was being picky, high maintenance, but none of the men she dated ever got past the first date. She knew what they called her behind her back, knew the meaning of those glances thrown at her. It didn’t matter, it didn’t affect her grades or the dinner invites she received.

College ended and so did much of her social life. Work became her priority after moving out of her mother’s house as she had to become independent. Whatever time she had she dedicated to either work or sleep, save up for necessities and her rent. A place in the city was not cheap after all. She worked, smiled pleasantly to her co-workers, smooched up to the boss a little bit, and at the end of the day she would stop by a takeaway shop for her dinner and called it a day.

Jessica liked to believe she was just an ordinary girl, with an ordinary life and an ordinary job. She didn’t think there was anything particularly special about her to have surprises in her ordinary life. That was why, when keeping up with rent became a little hard, she set up her unused room up for grabs over the net, hoping she would get a flatmate that was just as ordinary as her.

Jessica jerked awake to the sound of a shrill mechanical whirling. Her eyes rolled to the spot her clock was positioned, reading the digital numbers flashing at her. She growled her flatmate’s name, pressing one side of her face to the pillow and grabbing onto the other end, pulling it to cover the other half, hoping to at least muffle the grating sound coming from outside her bedroom. It takes about a minute more before the sound ceases. It’s followed by a few minutes of silence before the unmistakable sound of the front door thudded close as her flatmate left for her morning jog.

Jessica releases a sigh as she relaxes onto her back. It had become a routine, wakening at(what was to Jessica) an ungodly hour because the new flatmate couldn’t go a day without the morning drink that she needed to start her day. Jessica didn’t understand how she was able to consume that “healthy” drink without following it up with something sweet. It was just plain gross, gag-worthy, almost at level with cucumbers and melons.

But, besides her habit of waking up early and using the blender even as Jessica slept, there were a lot of good points to Kwon Yuri.

Yuri cooked. Something Jessica didn’t have the patience for. And Yuri was a good cook, nothing over the top, but her meals were definitely way better than the takeouts Jessica had been used to consuming. After the day she caught Jessica coming home with a box of Chinese takeout she had included Jessica in her cooking. Jessica had to pitch in for the ingredients, of course, but at the thought of having home cooked meal after a long day of work, she was sold.

Yuri is a bright girl. Not smart bright, though Jessica didn’t really know her that well enough to say if she was or wasn’t. Yuri was just a happy pod of sunshine, which was both good and bad. It was nice to come back and be greeted with a smiling face but Jessica was not a morning person and Yuri’s happy greetings and attempts at a conversation in the morning did not magically make Jessica any less grumpy from being taken out of her comfort zone and onto the monotonous drill of work.

Yuri has a dog. Jessica was still debating whether this was good or bad. She didn’t have to take care of it. Yuri promised her that Hani (the fluffy Pomeranian) would not be a bother. The little thing was quiet for most of the days. On her days off the dog proved to be quite the character, running around the room for no apparent reason, suddenly rushing in and out of the bathroom, and doing other doggie stuff dogs do. For whatever reason, the little thing followed her whenever she moved about so she had to be careful not to trip over the dog as she had in the first few days. On another hand, there was the rare time when the little thing plopped itself right over her feet, its soft belly warming up her cold toes. The little thing’s companionship was definitely nice.

A loud blaring alarm had Jessica half shooting off her bed in surprise. She looked over to the source, her phone alarm blaring right beside her pillow, flashing at her as if to tell her to get a move on. She growled, snatching the device off the bed and madly swiping at the screen, plunging the room back into silence. Outside her door, she could hear Hani making small growling noises, as she does whenever Jessica’s alarm rings for too long. Pushing off the heavy duvet off her she rose to her feet, lifting her hands up to do a short morning stretch before heading for the door.

“Easy girl.” She muttered absently at the dog peering at the doorway. The dog had never attempted to enter her room. She had only ever seen Yuri point at her room and tell the dog no once. She had scoffed at her then but Hani had never set foot past her doorway. She closed her door anyway, better safe than sorry.

She made for the small kitchenette that doubled as the dining room, eyeing the plate laid out for her, Hani at her heels. Her eyes twinkled and mouth watered at the sight of three golden-brown pieces of pancakes waiting for her. She had mentioned wanting to have pancakes a few days back, she made a mental note to thank Yuri for her consideration.

She made short work of the breakfast, tossing small pieces for the dog at her feet whenever the little thing made small yipping noises. She breezed through the rest of her morning routine and it was off to another day of work.

When Jessica pushed past her front door at the end of the day she nearly toppled over from sheer exhaustion. Her head pounded from the top of her skull and she reached up and pulled her ponytail loose, sighing as it somewhat relieved the pressure from her cranium. Massaging her temple, she began the arduous task of shedding her work clothes, thinking about taking a refreshing bath and all the other necessities before she could finally collapse into her bed for a well-deserved rest.

“Jessica. You’re back!” The energetic greeting followed a few seconds after the door clicked shut.

Jessica sighed as she leaned her back against the door. “I’m back.” She rasped out, wincing at the cracked delivery.

That seems to alarm Yuri as the next second Jessica sees her worried face popping into her field of vision. “Whoa, you don’t look too good.”

Jessica forced a smile, feeling her cheeks straining after being overused at work. “I’m just tired. Been a long day.”

“I can see that.” Yuri smirks as she looks her over. Jessica nearly gives her the finger but sighs and clears instead. She waves a hand at Yuri, a faint smile on her thin lips.

“I’ll be fine. Soon as I get a little sleep.”

Yuri hesitates, the concern on her face only deepening the longer she stares at Jessica’s fatigued form. Not even Hani jumping and pawing at her leg gets a reaction out of her when she naturally picks her up the moment the little dog vies for her attention. Yuri’s lips part and a hint of pink stuck between the straight rows of enamel. Jessica thinks it’s cute, the silence and the far-off look on her face meant the gears in her mind were churning.

Sliding one side of her work blazer off one arm Jessica pushed off the door, her eyes set on the straight path to her room. Whatever was cooking in Yuri’s mind she didn’t want to be part of it.

“How long has it been since you last had a night out?” The question catches her ears just as she unlocked her room’s door.

“A while.” She answers truthfully, hoping it would appease the woman and she would be left alone. She pushes the door the rest of the way, bidding the flatmate a quick goodnight before shutting the door close after her. The rest of her clothes quickly follow her discarded blazer on the floor leaving her only in her mismatched undergarments. Without a seconds hesitation, she clambers on her bed, sinking gratefully onto the mattress and cocoons herself in the thin, spotted blanket.

It was a while later when the continuous knocking and calling stirred her out of her dreamless sleep. She cracked an eye, dominant hand patting around her for her phone. It took her a few seconds of blind searching when it occurred to her that she hadn’t even taken the thing out of her bag. Letting a frustrated exhale out she pushed off the bed, staggering in her sleepy daze to the door in hopes to stop the insistent knocking.

“-aht?” She cracked open the door, blearily looking at the blank face of her flatmate. The woman squeaked, and it took a moment for Jessica’s eyes to acclimate to the fluorescent light behind Yuri to get a proper look at the woman.

“What?” she repeated. Her voice, and mind, a little clearer.

Yuri mumbled inaudibly, her eyes pointed to the ceiling. Her face, despite the natural tanned colour of her skin, still held that unmistakable pinkish blush.

“Sorry, what?” Jessica pulled the door open a tad wider, using the doorframe to lean her heavy head against.

“erm… I wanted to call you to dinner. I made stake so I hoped you’d come out and.. well, it’s a waste cold.”

“Oh..” Jessica hummed as she sniffed the air. The scent of cooked meat lingered in the air of their closed-off apartment. She could faintly hear the whirling of the fan trying to clear the lingering scent but knew it would take a while for the air to return to the scentless stale air she had gotten accustomed to.

“Um.. before you come out, could- could you.. put some clothes on?” Jessica brought her sights back to the nervously shuffling woman whose eyes seem to be going everywhere but at her. She looked down on herself, her body stiffening when she realises her lack of clothing. She’s quick to push the door back, hiding behind the thick plank of wood now that the embarrassing situation sunk into her head.

“I’ll… I’ll be out in a second.” Yuri gives a curt nod, still looking everywhere else but at her flatmate. Jessica doesn’t really wait for a verbal response and closes the door. Her body temperature shoots up as she mentally berates herself. She didn’t make it a habit to sleep half , but long days tend to cloud her judgement. Shaking her head, and choosing to forget about her slip up, she dragged herself to her closet and picked the topmost pieces of clothing she could get her hands on which were a pair of black, denim shorts and a large singlet.

When she walked back out to the dining room Yuri had already tucked into her meal, barely even looking up to greet Jessica. She sunk into the seat, her stomach growling when she takes in the strong scent of the meal before her. A slab of steak drenched in gravy with a side of mashed potatoes and a helping of sautéed vegetables. She took a slice into , her taste buds exploding at the juicy meat mixed with the distinguishable taste of beef gravy. It was a dish she had always thought was made for special occasions. Her gaze flew to her silent flatmate, trying to recall exactly what the woman did for a living. She wouldn’t be surprised if she turned out to be a chef because her meals were absolutely marvellous despite looking uninteresting.

“Are you… celebrating something?” Jessica asked after a while, looking to Yuri as she forks in a bit of the mashed potato.

The woman stopped in her slicing, staring at the space in front of her with an unreadable look. She coughed, placing down her utensils and reached for the glass of water, taking her time to down the lukewarm liquid. Once she had her fill, she gently placed the glass down. Her lips part, eyes focusing on something on the table, and again Jessica knows the woman was deep in her thoughts. So, she continues eating, figuring sooner or later the woman would voice out whatever it was in her mind.

As soon as she hears the sharp intake of breath Jessica flicked her gaze to the focused look on the woman.

“Hey, Jessica…” she hesitates briefly, the imperceptible widening of her eyes at Jessica’s choice of clothing fortunately lost on Jessica. She clears again. “um.. wha- do you have any.. plans this Saturday evening?”

Taking the piece of meat from her fork Jessica carefully chewed her meal, her mind fluttering through her meagre plans of the week. “No.” she answers listlessly, her gaze falling back to her meal now that Yuri has finally asked her question.

“Oh.. um… the meal.. it’s kind of ah… my way of bribing you for what I’m about to request of you.”

Jessica stops her chewing, her blank gaze settling on the nervous smile Yuri was giving her. “Can I say no?”

“Uh… you haven’t heard what it is yet. And uh.. I-I guess, though I’m not going to ask for something er… impossible.”

Jessica nods her head, finishing the morsel in before speaking. “Continue.”

“Well… I’m in a bit of a bind. My friends, really they’re nice and I’m grateful for the thought, but they are just so nosy. They.. uh… want to set me up on a blind date and to get them off my back I.. well, I lied to them. Said I was already seeing someone.”

Jessica nodded her head and hummed. “Can’t you ask someone from your workplace?”

“Eh.. they know I’m not interested with anyone in my workplace… and one of them works with me so.. yeah.”

“Then, I’ll see who I can speak to at work. There are a few decent men I know that-“

“Jessica,” Yuri cut her off, smiling sheepishly when the weary woman’s eyes flickered back to her face. “they also know my preference.”

Jessica sighed, gently placing her fork and knife at the side of her plate. She leans all the way to the backrest of her chair, crossing her arms over her chest, and raising an eyebrow as she stares coolly at Yuri uncomfortably fidgetting on her seat. She’d smirk if she was in a better mood, but this time she holds her emotions together. “Let’s hear it then. What does Kwon Yuri like in a man?”

Yuri’s face puckered up and her head fell to her chin. “Well,” she rasped, mentally preparing herself. “I like someone who knows what they want, who’s responsible, diligent-“

“Yeah, yeah, can we skip to personal appearance?” Jessica hurries her on, already listing the single men she knew in her workplace. She uncrosses her arms to continue digging into what was left of her meal, feeling the meat turning a little greasy from being out in the cold for a while.

“Uh.. well-kept, professional, er…” Yuri swallows, fixing her gaze on Jessica as she lists the most important piece of information she had been holding back. “female..” she holds her breath, hoping her feeling of Jessica being cool about her identity wasn’t just a feeling.

Jessica’s chewing stops. Slowly, her head raises, face devoid of emotion as she looks to the petrified expression slightly showing on her flatmate’s face as she waited for her response. She exhaled, setting her utensils down as she rubbed her forehead. What a troublesome woman.

“I was kind of.. hoping you could accompany me, just for the night.. I just… I just wanted to shut them up…” Yuri continues in a softer voice. “And.. I mean, you already kind of know me.. I think..” she looks up, winces at the dry look Jessica was giving the table before letting her gaze fall to her fingers fiddling above her lap. Maybe asking the owner of the flat she lived in wasn’t the best course of action to take. But she was already used to this kind of thing, moving from one apartment to the next at her former flatmate’s bequest after they found out. On the bright side, her friends would leave her relationship status for the time being for when she’s back out looking for a place to crash. “I can start packing my things.. Just.. just give me a few days to fix everything and I’ll be out of here.”

Finally, Jessica’s eyes snap to Yuri’s dejected face. She furrows her brows voicing out her confusion. “What? Why?”

Yuri looks up, sending a startled look to her flatmate “Erm.. I… I just thought.. you know, not a lot of people would feel comfortable around… me.”

“For my inclination.” She adds when Jessica’s face continued to hold the confusion.

“Ah…” Gradually, the furrow of Jessica’s brows smoothened as she retook her utensils “well, unlike the rest of them, I’m not stupid enough to let you leave. Anyone who makes food this good..” she pauses, taking a fork of mashed potato into . “is worth it. Besides, being in an empty house is tough. I get kind of lonely. And, unless you’re a serial killer, I really don’t mind you and Hani livening up this place.”

“Really? You- You’re not just saying that to be.. nice?”

“Of course I’m saying it to be nice.” Jessica scoffs, rolling her eyes at her flatmate. “But I wasn’t lying either. I really don’t mind. You help me with paying the rent and as annoying as you can be in the morning, good food is good food and this” she points at the leftover meal with her knife “is good food.”

“Is it just this one?” Yuri jokes, grinning crookedly at Jessica.

“You make good food.” Jessica responds flatly, not wanting to Yuri’s ego any more than she already had. “Anyway, I don’t think lying to your friends is going to help your case. Really, you can’t expect anyone to keep up with your charade.”

Yuri sighs. “I know.. but this society… Sure, the younger generation is a lot more open-minded, but this God damned country is just so judgemental, you know? You make one bad move and it’s like everyone’s breathing down your back.” She leans back on her chair, a faint sad smile on her lips as she watched Hani perk up from her resting position by her feet. “That’s why I’ve been avoiding getting into the dating scene. I’ve seen them tear people apart and push them down so low with no regards to their feelings… I mean, there are those blessed few, but even they have to hide their love..”

“My friends, they’ve only good intentions” she shook her head. “I’ve told them time and time again, but they insist I’m only too cowardly to take the leap. Who wouldn’t? They don’t know, they’re all straight or already found their significant other. It’s freaking scary.”

“Because you feel like everyone’s eyes are on you?” Jessica mutters despondently, feeling the conversation hitting too close to home.

“Because you trust your heart to someone with the threat of everyone else trying to rip you apart.” Yuri lifts her hand over her left chest, patting the spot absently as she smiles sadly. “And it hurts when one of you crack and give up all for the wrong reason…” Jessica winces, reaching for her own chest at the dull throb.

“Well.. at least they’re doing it for a pure reason.” Jessica offers weakly.

Yuri chuckles mirthlessly. “They’re too nosey, these friends of mine.”

A weak smile lifts at the side of Jessica’s lips. “Be glad there are people like them caring for you.”

“I am.”

Jessica stares down at her plate, a small smile beginning to form. Maybe, just this one time. “So, about Saturday...”

Yuri perks up in her seat, eagerly leaning forward while cautiously eyeing her flatmate. “I thought you said lying to them wasn’t going to do me good.”

“In the long run.” Jessica corrects, a small teasing smile playing at her lips. “But I guess one day of lying, just to get them off your back for a while, would be fine.” She rests her chin on her propped arm. “Guess you’ve got yourself a date.”