I Was Lying To You
Flawless TragediesEmotions were dangerous. No one emotion should ever have the power to overtake the senses. They had to be kept under control. In check. Too much anger and you’ll up a mission. Too much sadness and your life might get a little sloppy. Too much happiness and then you don't know how to deal when that happiness is gone. But all these are easy to deal with. Easy to manage. But there are emotions that can’t be controlled. Emotions that consume the mind, body and soul. Of all the emotions a person can have love is the most dangerous. It's the type of emotion that handicaps you. Leaves you blind and bare for the world to see. It's an emotion for the weak. For the people that believe in fairytales.
To Luhan the word love was a sick joke. A lie.
As far as Luhan knew he’s never felt that emotion in his life. He certainly never felt it for whoever gave birth to him. Definitely not from the who found him and raised him to become some sort of child slave at the mere age of six.
He had felt gratitude toward the old lady who saved him and helped him run away when the weird men had come to pick him up. He knew what loyalty felt like when it was Kris and him against the world.Young kids just trying to find their place in this big big world.
But love? Nah.
That didn’t exist. Not in Luhan's life.
You couldn’t be capable of torturing people, stealing and killing and still feel love. You couldn’t be known as the angel of death and feel love. It just didn't work that way.
And yet there was something odd happening to Luhan's heart. It started when he was feeling rejected by Yejun. The night they almost slept together but didn't. At the time Luhan had thought it was just his pride refusing to believe that Yejun was capable of saying no to him. Luhan always got what he wanted and it was insane for him to have to beg Yejun to stay. But then they kissed. The kisses had lost their passion but were so intimate. Luhan could feel himself feel whole again. Like he was being reassured that everything was fine. That Yejun was interested in him. And that scared him. So he had pushed Yejun away and joked about how Yejun should get going.
Even when Yejun was long gone and Luhan had taken a long cold shower the kisses lingered in his head. The way Yejun had caressed him and touched him haunted his dreams. It was crazy. No one had ever affected Luhan as much as Yejun had and it scared him. He had no idea why the food critic had messed with his head so much but there he was in his big white bed unable to go to sleep because his mind refused to shut up.
He tossed and turned in his bed just trying to get comfortable enough to sleep but images of Yejun and himself would creep up on him and his eyes would spring open. So that’s why he had the biggest eye bags under his eyes when he walked in twenty minutes late to an official group meeting.
His mood was absolutely terrible after not getting his eight hours of sleep and people could tell immediately as he made his way to his seat. No one said anything. No one wanted to with an angry Luhan.
Kris was in the middle of going over some new routes to bring their merchandise through and only raised an eyebrow at Luhan who simply kept a blank face. Minseok threw worried glances in his direction for the rest of the meeting but didn't dare voice any of his concerns. Luhan was grateful for it. He didn’t really want to lash out at anyone for no real reason other than the fact that he’d lost sleep over the stupid food critic.
It was when the meeting was finally over that Kris pulled Luhan aside. He knew he couldn’t avoid Kris so he waved good-bye to Minseok and then followed Kris to his office.
“I have a special task for you” Kris said gesturing for Luhan to take a seat.
Luhan arched a brow at Kris “What is it?”
“Zico and I have decided to not kill the journalist”
“Wait you actually found him?” Luhan asked incredulously.
“No not yet. We have people tailing a lead. Now stop interrupting”
“Oh. So what do you want me to do?”
“We want you to do the interrogating when we catch him. Out of all of us you’re the one with the most trusting face.” Kris explained simply.
“Right. Is that it?”
“ Basically but I also wanted to ask you about the food critic…”
“What about him?”
“Well were you able to get anything useful out him?”
Luhan thought back to the night before. He remembered trying to get something but then he had thrown caution to the wind and well nothing. He got nothing.
“Not exactly. He seems pretty new to his position but I’m still working on it.” Luhan answered.
Kris nodded at his response then gave Luhan a curious look.
“You look awful.”
“Thanks boss man” Luhan replied sarca
Comments