"What happened?" Repeated Sanghyun, twisting his fingers as he stared at the article. "Was it that accident? Are they​ okay? Is everything alright? ... Joonie hyung?"

Joon was staring blankly at the wall, his mind fizzing again. 

Why did he care? 

He shouldn't care, right?

He left, and that meant something.

They probably hated him. 

Why did he care? He shouldn't care, right? 

Because he left and -

"Yah! Hyuuung ..." Sanghyun snapped his fingers in front of the elder boy's face, breaking him out of the cycle of thoughts. Joon blinked. "Eh?"

"Pay attention!"

"To what? There's nothing to pay attention to." He immediately closed his mouth afterwards, shocked by his own words. Sanghyun froze. "What do you mean, there's nothing to pay attention to?"

"I mean there's nothing bounding us to ... to them anymore."

He might just have felt a little something breaking inside. 

And before he could see Sanghyun's tearful expression again, he turned and walked out swiftly, closing the door behind him, then broke into a run. 

Did he just say that?

Did he really just say that?

How could you say that? a part of him hissed angrily. You know how much they meant to you, too much that you can't just let them go like that -

But that was the past. He gritted his teeth. That was the past and nothing will change it. I made my decision. Done.

That doesn't mean it's the end. That doesn't mean you don't care about them.

It does, Joon tried to think as he ran faster, the wind whistling in his ears doing little to block out the whispered thoughts in his head. It does, he tried again. 

But the words disappeared before he could say them. 

"No," whimpered Cheolyong, twisting his fingers together. "No no no no no ..."  

Byunghee gripped his hand. "It's okay, Cheolyong. Come on. We don't know for sure."

"But the doctor says -"

"Do you want to believe it?"

The younger boy stayed silent, then shook his head once. Byunghee nodded. "That's it. Come on."

Mir gulped and pushed open the door to the ward. Seungho jumped at the sound, then looked at them, smiled.

But something was different, and Mir's heart dropped to his feet.

No.

He refused to believe it. 

"Byunghee, C-Cheolyong?" he tried, and his voice was slightly raspy, slightly faint. He kept a smile on his face - but the difference was so painfully clear, that he felt his throat tighten up and his eyes start stinging with tears. He felt a reassuring squeeze of his hand, and tried to smile, but his face muscles wouldn't keep the smile. 

"Yes hyung ..." He whispered. Seungho smiled again, but it was too wrong. His eyes were confused. Empty. A little bit scared. 

Finally Seungho's smile disappeared and he frowned. "I'm really sorry."

"It's not your fault," Cheolyong heard Byunghee say from behind him, his voice strained. "It's okay."

It's okay.

How many times had he heard that whispered to him in the last week?

It's okay.

It's going to be okay.

You'll be okay.

You'll all be okay.

Everything will be fine.

But it's not, is it?

"I'll recover one day. Don't worry. I can feel that I know you ..." Seungho tried to say, but Cheolyong knew he was lying. Lying to make them feel more comfortable, but he could see that he was scared.

Cheolyong felt the tears slip out before he could stop them. 

Seungho bit his lip. "I'm sorry," he said quietly, regretfully. "I think you knew me very well."

"I still do," he choked out, before standing up and running out of the ward, and collapsing onto the wall, curling up and sobbing. A minute later Byunghee ran out, and came over quietly. 

"Cheolyong-ah, look at me." 

He refused. 

"It'll be fine -"

"It's not, hyung," he whimpered. "It's not, it's all wrong, it's - it's -" a fresh round of tears erupted and he leaned into his hyung's shoulder, too tired to support himself. 

"I thought he wouldn't leave us," he sobbed, and he felt Byunghee's embrace tighten around him. "So did I, Cheolyong. But that doesn't mean he's not coming back." 

"He doesn't remember," the maknae finally whispered, raising his tear-stained face to meet the elder's eyes. "He doesn't remember us."

How could that have been possible? 

"The doctor doesn't know whether he will get his memories back or not," he whimpered. "He might not, ever."

This time they were both crying, and this time Cheolyong found it a bit more comforting, because this time Byunghee didn't say "It'll be okay."

He said nothing. 

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Edit: short update! I'm working on the next chapter now. I have no idea where this fanfic is going ... XD