title: (5/5)

Since the title contains the words 'Law of', one would immediately assume that it has something to do with physics because there are countless laws there (of course, that's also used broadly in psychology, but physics is more well-known and popular so). 'Attraction' states that it has something to do with two people falling in love with each other, and being 'attracted' to each other, hence the title. It's not overused, but it sounds a bit cliche. Regardless, this title is eye-catching and definetely would attract one's attention. 

description: (10/10)

The description is short and to the point, instead of being a summary as most stories would. It outlines the general plot of the story, so it's really easy for a reader to determine whether they like it or not. There are also questions asked between some lines, for example, why is 'The Brain', aka Oh Sehun, the most uptight man Aesul has ever met? This question would be solved by reading the story, and there is a hint of mystery in the description in it which I like. 

The only thing that puts me off is how you formatted this paragraph of text. Of course, that's subjective and doesn't matter (tbh just ignore this). 

 

foreword: (4/5)

There isn't much to comment on in the foreword section, it's just generally stating facts and crediting shops that did your posters. For me, it's a bit plain because it could've included a snippet of your story so as to reel in your readers and make them fall head-first into your story, as well as indulge themselves in it. 

Of course, the absence of it is also fine as well. 

 

spelling, punctuation and grammar: (12/20)

Let's see. If one is to skim-read your description and foreword, they won't find any mistake, nor would they spot any in the first two chapters, but the third chapter is a serious problem. 

First, wrong tenses. There are a few places where you should've used the present tense, but chose the past tense because your whole story was written in past tense. For example: 'Jongin, being my old neighbours for ten years before his family moved out, was the perfect person that I needed right now." 

It should've been, 'Jongin....is the perfect person I needed right now.' 

A second example: 'It had been a while since the last time I drink those carton milk.'

It should be corrected to: 'It had been a while since (the last time) I drunk those carton milk.' 'The last time' can be omitted, and carton milk should be changed to 'cartoned milk', which makes more sense than carton milk. 

Another would be the incorrect use of plural nouns. Using the above sentence as an example, it should've been 'my old neighbour' instead of 'neighbours', unless you say that Jongin and his family was Sehun's old neighbours, in which would be correct. 

Note the usage of nouns in your writing as well. A female waiter would be 'waitress', not waiter. 

There is some strange sounding sentences there, such as 'due to my a little bit too long stare at his drink', which exaggerated the 'tiny' bit too far. It could be changed to 'Due to my momentary stare at his drink', in which momentary means for a brief period of time. 

Finally, your use of prepositions. Or whatever I can call it because this is a very vast group of grammar mistakes. First example: ' "...if you weren't so stressed that your dad's home like literally minutes ago." ' The correct use should be '...if you weren't so stressed about your dad (who is home) like literally minutes ago.' because if you continue reading onto the next chapter, Sehun is stressed about his father being home, and not his father's home. 

Second example: ' "Or like I've never been in contact girls." ' should be 'Or like I've never been in contacnt with girls.' 

You can follow this guide to read your story over and correct your grammar. (These examples are all taken from chapter 3, LOA 2 in case you want to make sure) 

 

plot: (14/20)

The plot is, to be honest, cliche. Yes, I read your foreword and I do admit that this 'opposites attract' theory is more refreshiing than others, patially because this one is based on college and school, which most of us in AFF is still in. 

Because I like a plot twist here and there, your story, I feel, is still in its beginning stages. There's a 'why?' popping into my head in every chapter, and there are plot holes that I do hope you fill in later, such as Aesul's background, why she dances and why she has such a rebellious spirit. That goes for Sehun as well. 

However, this story gave me a very relaxing atmostphere as well because it's not rushing, and its pace is just right. I look forward to how Aesul tackles her problem as well. 

 

character development: (13/20)

This is one thing you're lacking in. Aesul is the perfect description of the 'strong' girl in an opposites attract story; strong, independent, and rebellious. The only thing holding her back is her grades, which is unique in itself. Also, by making Aesul the 'stronger' personality and Sehun the 'weaker' personality (because this often happens in the case of 'opposites attract), this brings forth a fresh feeling about, which I think is really special. 

However, there's a lack of explanation behind Sehun's feelings for Aesul, partially because they haven't met for such a long time nor did they really interact with each other outside of Sehun's tutoring (excluding the time when they had tea together). If according to your story, Sehun doesn't seem like the kind of person to just suddenly fall for Aesul, and you made it evident in your first few chapters as well.

Aesul, to me is an overly dramatic, as well as tough character. Her mood changes so frequently, and literally she can go from crying to happy in one second. I'm not too sure, because I haven't met one, but all I know about actors/actresses are that they're emotional, though not such a constrast like her. I understand you want to make her seem like the total, 100% opposite of Sehun, but I feel like it's a bit over the top.

Another thing I would like to point out is the reversal of gender roles in LOA 4. Aesul, thinking that Jongin was bullying Sehun, glared at him and tried to intimidate him, in which case she's trying, in a way to protect Sehun. This again shows how large of an 'opposites' is in this story, because Aesul was unconscously trying to shield him from Jongin. 

Sehun is another interesting character. From Aesul's point of view and everybody else's except Jongin's, he's a reserved and quiet person, the straight A student in the university. I'm not sure if you deliberately made Sehun seem as if he had put on a facade because he acts differently in front of Jongin as well as the way he expresses himself in his POVs, but if you did, then there's another 'opposite' to point out because Aesul just lets her emotions to flow freely. 

However, I feel like Sehun isn't sticking to the personality you assigned to him that well, because in some places your writing made it seem like Sehun has Aesul's personality, such as the repitive chuckling when he's in the cafe with Jongin. How he behaves in front of her when they're in a Physics tutoring session and when they're in the cafe is quite different as well, so reading about Sehun was a bit confusing as he seems to change his character whenever he feels like it. 

There isn't really much to be said about Jongin, except I feel like he's the most '3D' and realistic character in this story because his feelings and reactions are more straightforward and doesn't really change as we go thorugh the story. 

 

setting: (8/10)

I have a particular fondness for university au! stories, so I really like how you made the setting of the story in a university. It is the place where the most unique people gather, so it wasn't surprising when people like Aesul and Sehun appear. I wish you could express some places in more depth though,  besides being confided in just the library, cafe and scenes of Aesul dashing around. 

 

overall enjoyment: (7/10)

I have to admit, even though Sehun isn't one of my favourite members in EXO, it was still fun to read about him and an OC (because I never really liked idol x OC stories) in a uni-au! setting. Besides Aesul's sometimes overwhelming emotions, I really enjoyed the story, and I look forward to how their relationship would work out. (Also I have a special hatred for Physics so I can sometimes relate to Aesul; thank goodness I didn't choose Physics for IGCSEs) Good luck on your story! 

total:73 /100