"My eyes were closed but even then I could tell that everything was white... or at least it looked like it." 

Jiyong nodded, putting her head on the crook of his neck. Dara helped him up to the couch earlier since he was still feeling weak from seeing her. She eventually found herself sitting on his lap while his arms refused to let her go. They shared a long and comforting silence before Jiyong finally asked her what happened. And like always, she didn't exactly know either but all he cared about right now was the fact that she was here. 

"You scared me." He took her freezing hand and locked it with his. "Why were you crying?" His faint voice entered her ears and she can't help but feel her heart ache. 

Her hold on his hand was as tight as his and she sank further into his warmth. Her lips quivered and she leaned back to meet his earnest expression. His warm hand cupped the side of her face and she closed her eyes to relish his touch. "I remembered something." she mumbled, "I remembered you." She slowly opened her eyes and saw him looking at her quizzically. "...I saw you before I died."  she smiled weakly at him.

The crease on his head just got deeper as her words started to sink in. He already saw her before? No. Why couldn't he remember? Surely he would remember seeing a person commit suicide. He racked every memory in his brain and searched for it but nothing came up. His trembling hands held her face softly and he scanned every inch of it carefully. Why couldn't he remember her?  

Dara could sense the uneasiness on his face and she knows that she's the reason for it once again. She brushed her thumb over his brow and gave him a light peck on the cheek. Jiyong froze, looking at her wide-eyed, and Dara winked. "Payback for kissing me on the head." She suddenly made a disgustingly funny face making him burst out laughing. "Don't beat yourself up for not remembering me." she started, cutting his laughter short. "Beats that than having lost all your memories." she joked but Jiyong wasn't looking happy like she was. 

He made her look at him and his serious eyes bore right through her. It felt like she was completely with how she was looking at him. It wasn't a lustful gaze but it was more of a look that would clear all your fears and doubts even though you don't want to face them. She tried to look away but when he mentioned her name softly, she couldn't help but fix her eyes on him as well. 

"Don't beat yourself up for not remembering your life." 

She smiled, "Don't use my words against me—"

"We'll make new memories." He interrupted. "It doesn't matter if you can't  remember the old ones. We'll make better ones and I'll make sure to super glue those in that brain of yours."

"Well aren't you just the sweetest butterscotch in the bakery." she gave him a playful smack on the chest but he caught it. She looked up and met his serious eyes. 

"I mean it Dara. We'll make memories that are worth remembering." 

clogged up and she felt her eyes sting. She should be over the moon right now but she couldn't find it in her heart to feel that way. No, not like this. 

"But what will happen when I—"

"You'll stay." He cut her off, pure conviction was evident in his eyes.

She wants it to be true. God, she really wants it to be true. But the facts still stays. She's just a wandering spirit that couldn't go to wherever she needed to be because she had issues to solve first. What if they do make happy memories? Just the thought of it brings a bright smile on her face.

But she doesn't belong here.

She's dead and he's alive. She knows that his promise would end someday and she's forced to leave him. She doesn't want to bear the pain of not being able to see him anymore but most of all she wouldn't bare to see him living his life with lingering thoughts of her. He shouldn't let himself be taken over by her because even she knows that her stay was indefinite. And seeing how it looks like Jiyong was growing attached to her was just adding more to her worries.

The fluttering feeling in the pit of her stomach was also making her worry.

She needs to stop this before it gets out of hand.

She removed himself from him and stood up. She stepped back but his hand on hers wasn't letting her move even further. Their grip was still strong and breaking it looked like it would be the last thing in their minds. Dara was facing away from him and covering his face with her hair while Jiyong remained seated but his body was inches away from leaving the couch. 

"We can't do this, Jiyong." Her hold was loosening but his still remained firm. She finally met his eyes and looked at him pleadingly. "Please. I don't want to hurt you..." 

"I'm not going to get hurt." He replied almost instantly. His heart thumped loudly in his chest and he looked at her with the same expression. "Please." 

"I... I don't want to get myself hurt..." 

Their dialogue was filled with double meanings. One might think that they were just talking about making memories but others might think they were talking about something that was a bigger elephant in the room... something that they refused to acknowledge because they were still uncertain. 

"I won't hurt you, Dara." He heaved a breath, moving closer. "Trust me."

"Grief is not frowned upon, Jiyong. Embrace it..."

People grieve in different ways.

"I want to be with you... Give me a chance." 

She knows that he meant that he wanted him to be with her to make memories but why did it feel that he was referring to something else? Dara mentally shook her head to get rid of those thoughts and looked at him even desperately. Why was he making it harder than it had to be? Why couldn't he be like that Jiyong who hated her guts and wanted her gone? Why did he have to tell her these things now that... now that she's getting confused with herself.

"I am a ing ghost! Why can't you understand that?!" she yelled exasperatedly while he just looked at her. "You can't be with me." she shook her head, "No. Not when I'm dead..." 

"What happened with you wanting to fill out your 2 year void?" Dara flinched at the angry tone of his voice. "How the hell are you gonna do that alone, huh? You need me and I'm right here." his voice cracked. He absentmindedly put his hands on her waist and held her in place. His eyes showed nothing but sorrow, "I can't live peacefully knowing that you're not able to do what you want to do because of your stubbornness. For once in my life, I won't regret telling you that I want you here by my side." 

She let her tears spill down on her eyes. How can some simple words make her feel hurt and relieved at the same time? Jiyong went closer to her and before she knew it, he enveloped her in another reassuring hug. Dara found her hand clutching the back of his shirt as she sobbed on his chest. Tears unknowingly rolled down on his cheeks as he buried his face on the top of her head. 

"But what will happen when—"

"We'll think about those things later." He stopped her. "We're just going to live right now. Stop thinking and just live a little." 

Dara let out a shaky chuckle. "Is that supposed to be a joke?" She lightly punched his arm and he made her look up at him. 

His eyes glistened with fresh tears but the grin on his face told her that everything would be fine. The expectant look on his face made her feel obligated to give an answer. Would she risk getting attached to him if it meant that they couldn't become anything more? She stood there quietly and Jiyong, having a hunch on what she was thinking, gave her all the time she needed.

Jiyong chuckled to himself. "You know, it sounds like I'm asking you to m—"

"Alright." she cut him off. " it. Let's do it." Dara caught his hand and put it over her heart. "I'm trusting you with my 2nd life. You better not let me down." she narrowed her eyes jokingly at him. 

A scowl escaped his face as he took her other hand and put it on his own heart. Dara could feel his heartbeat thump in his chest in contrast to Jiyong who couldn't feel anything at all. He brushed his thumb over her knuckles as the corner of his lips tugged up. 

"That's the last thing I'll do." 

_____________________________________

I woke up earlier than usual and the first thing I saw was my alarm clock. There was about a minute left until it rang and I waited patiently for the obnoxious beeping to play. My hands were already reaching for the snooze button but when the clock turned 7:30, the beeping never came. I furrowed my brows in confusion and suddenly felt a tightness in my stomach. I looked down to see a pair of hands circling my waist and Dara peeking over my arm. I turned my body to her, propped an elbow, and rested my head on it while she continued to look at me with some clearly crazed eyes. 

"Did you do that?" I asked, pointing at the alarm clock behind me. 

She let out an annoyed grunt and nodded. "I don't know how you live your life with that horrible sound to start your day. Don't you want to wake up with the sound of my beautiful voice instead?" she batted her lashes making me roll my eyes. 

"If your voice is beautiful then everyone else's would be the most gorgeous thing in the planet." 

"YAH! I didn't know you were thy type of guy to pick fights the first thing you wake up." she retorted accusingly. 

I snorted and mindlessly played with a lock of her hair. "Oh you don't know the half of it, chickadee." 

I saw her close her lips shut before sputtering and transitioning to hysterical laughter. "'Chickadee'?" she guffawed, smacking my arm.

I shoved her abusive hand to the side and rolled her away from bed, making her fall to the ground. Before I knew it, I found myself on the edge of the bed looking down at her. I scowled again. She was still laughing like an insane person while repeating 'chickadee' to herself. Why the did I even use that? Wait. No. that. She gives me more ridiculous nicknames than my bull ones. Mine was practically nothing compared to hers. I shouldn't feel embarrassed. I looked over to her again and groaned. God, this is embarrassing. 

"Stop."

"O-oh my s-s-hit." she raised a hand up and suppressed a laugh. "My cuddles is so cute!" 

Now that's an embarrassing nickname. I just continued to look at her with a scowl while she tried to stop herself from bursting out in another fit of giggles. Well? Why aren't you laughing, Jiyong? Get back at her for laughing at that lame 'cuddles' name. I waited for the laughs to erupt but I was just left with a nasty look on my face. I was left to sit casually on the edge of the bed while she sat herself up beside me and put her head on my shoulder. From the corner of my eye I could see her taking out Vladimir from the nightstand and taking a sip. She released a contented sigh before gently putting it back down and leaning back to me. 

"Are you done now?" I rolled my eyes. 

Dara nodded. "What a good way to start the day, am I right?" She looked at me teasingly and pushed her forehead away. 

I stood up and wore my hoodie. I learned to sleep fully dressed now since I don't want the embarrassment of her seeing me only in my boxers again. I usually dress up with everything covered—well, I guess some joggers and an old shirt, and maybe the occasional shorts when it gets too warm. 

I stepped out the door with Dara clinging on to me by the neck. Who would've thought that she would be this clingy? I kind of guessed it already but hey, now I can confirm it. Dara is a pretty handsy character. I really don't mind it anymore at this point. I feel like I'm slowly getting immune to her abnormally cold temperature. It's certainly useful when it gets too hot in the condo. Just her presence makes a room feel like there's an air conditioner in it. I hate to admit it but Dara definitely has her perks. 

I stopped by the door to the washroom and looked back at her. She just wiggled her brows at me, making me release a long and dreadful sigh. "Ride's over, kid. Get off." I said monotonously. 

"Whhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyyy?"

I pointed my eyes to the toilet and then pointed my eyes back to her. She was looking at me innocently making me release another sigh. 

"I am going to use the bathroom, Dara. I need you to get off." I enunciated every word carefully so that she would get it. 

She didn't. 

"Oh c'mon! I thought we've already passed the shy stage in our relationship." she pouted. 

A curious look adorned my face and I arched a brow. "And what relation