Day Twelve:

“Are you even going to wake up?” a voice asked me.

“No,” I replied wrapping the warm blankets over my head.

“I cooked all day,” Woohyun shouted from the other side of the door.

“No one asked you to cook,” I snapped loudly.

“Are you really going to act like this!” Woohyun yelled slamming his fist against the door.

Please, Woohyung go away.

Please.

“I just wanted a family meal is that too hard to ask for,” Woohyun asked

“Yes,” I scoffed. “Now go away before you give me another headache!”

“Whatever I didn’t even want you to see the decorations I spent all day putting up,” Woohyun shouted. Seconds later I could hear Woohyun stomping his feet in anger as he walked away.

Every fiber of my body wanted to run after him but I knew better. Even if I gave Woohyun the best Christmas he would still leave in the end. He always left me no matter what I did. So for tonight, I didn’t care if he dies because tomorrow I will be in the same boat. I just needed to think about a new plan something that could get us both out of this loop.

I spent most of the day stuck in my bed thinking of a new plan but the only thing I could think about was Woohyun’s lips.

They were full but not as full of Dongwoo’s big lips. They were also usually covered in some type of chapstick because leave it to Woohyun to want to have moisturizing and soft lips…

That’s right his lips were soft.

I let out a groan as images of Woohyun’s lips on mine played in my mind for the ten thousand times.

I shook my head trying to get rid of the memory but it was stuck like it was branded into my head.

I couldn’t think about Woohyun’s lips right now not when I have other things to deal with such as him dying every day.

A soft knock echoed through the room distracting me from the thoughts of Woohyun’s kisses.

“Go away Woohyun,” I shouted closing my eyes tightly.

I’m sorry Woo just give me another day then I’ll give you the best Christmas ever.

“It’s Dongwoo,” Dongwoo called.

“I’m not hungry,” I told the member even though I had been munching on fans gifts throughout the day and my stomach couldn’t take any more candy.

“Can I come in,” Dongwoo asked.

“I’m tired,” I whined sitting up from my bed.

“It’ll be just a second,” Dongwoo added. “I promise!”

“I just want to sleep,” I complained.

“Please! I won’t leave here till we speak,” Dongwoo told me.

If it was anyone else I would have brought out my inner demon to curse them to hell but this was Dongwoo. The one member who actually terrified me when they were mad.

“Sure,” I finally said after a couple of seconds. “Just give me a seco-”

The door swung open causing the living room light to flood into my dark bedroom. Christmas music and the smells of Woohyun’s dinner overwhelmed my senses making my stomach turn in excitement.

“I locked it,” I told Dongwoo as he my bedroom light.

“I have keys to all the rooms,” Dongwoo told me casually.

“WHAT?” I snapped.

“Your room smells,” Dongwoo told me as he stepped over my dirty laundry.

“Can we please talk about how you have keys to all the rooms?” I sputtered out.

“Let’s talk instead about why you’re giving Woohyun such a hard time,” Dongwoo added as he took a seat next to me.

“Oh that,” I frowned.

“I know Woohyun making everything perfect would annoy you but I didn’t think you would act like...,” Dongwoo confessed.

“Like what?” I asked.

“Like well like an Hyung,” Dongwoo said smiling.

“YAH!” I snapped raising my hand up in the air making the rapper jump back.

“No offense,” Dongwoo raised up his hands as if he was just caught stealing.

“Whatever,” I rolled my eyes as I placed down my hand.

“It’s just,” Dongwoo cleared his throat sitting up straight. “You are acting kind of mean.”

“I know,” I told him truthfully.

I had to be mean I had to push him away so I could think about the future. The kiss also didn’t help me think straight.

“Then why are you acting like this?” Dongwoo asked his large eyes looking straight into my soul.

Right there I wished I could tell Dongwoo the truth but I knew the rules. I couldn’t tell anyone about my punishment.

“What if,” I took a deep breath. “What if I left the group.”

A small gasp left Dongwoo’s mouth as he grabbed ahold of my hand. “You aren’t are you?”

“No! It’s just a theoretical question,” I told him raising my hands up.

“Thank god,” Dongwoo sighed. “I thought you were being serious.”

“But,” I cleared my throat. “If I wasn’t here anymore in this group then what would happen? Theoretically of course.”

“Well,” Dongwoo cocked his head to the side as if he was trying to picture a future with Infinite without me. “I guess it could go good or bad. Good if you left on good terms and if Woohyun and Hoya didn’t fight too much.”

“Woohyun?”

“Yes even the fans can see he’s your second in command,” Dongwoo added.

“He would be the leader if you left but I have a feeling that Hoya would also like to be the leader. Then again Sungyeol would probably throw his name in too. Even though at the end of the day  it’s the company's job to pick out the next leader. Although the way I see it doesn’t matter because they both will fail.”

“How so?” I asked him hanging onto each word.

“Hoya doesn’t know how to talk to the members. He would be too harsh on Myungsoo or to relax with Sungyeol. He wouldn’t know what to do when Woohyun is moody or when Sungjong is in one of his stumps.”

I nodded my head for Dongwoo to go on.

“While Woohyun would be too bossy and it would rub the members the wrong way,” Dongwoo added.

“But I nag you guys too,” I pointed out.

Dongwoo shook his head no. “But the difference is you’ve been doing this before our debut it’s second nature to hear you yelling at us. Even though sometimes we don’t enjoy it. While with Woohyun bossing us around it would just feel weird. Anyone else as the leader is weird.”

I didn’t know if I should take Dongwoo’s comment as a compliment or a diss.

“Thanks..”

“Plus without you, we wouldn’t be able to win award shows or-”

“But that wasn’t just me,” I argued.

Dongwoo shook his head. “What I’m trying to say is that we wouldn’t be nearly as famous without you.”

I was Infinite’s leader but I wasn’t nearly as great as Dongwoo was making me seem.

After all, I couldn’t even save Woohyun!

“So Hyung are you sure you aren’t leaving the group?” Dongwoo asked. I could tell that he was uneasy as if he couldn’t believe my lies.

“Don’t worry I don’t plan on leaving for a long time,” I lied to Dongwoo smiling.

“That’s what I thought,” Dongwoo showed off his gummy smile.

I couldn’t help but stare at Dongwoo and wonder how he got so wise. The media always pegged Dongwoo as the less intelligent member because the way he looked.

But those close to him knew differently. Not only was he smart but he also cared about each of us not in a faking it for the camera way either.

To say I cherished Dongwoo was an understatement because I loved him just like   I loved the rest of the members.

“What about you?” I asked him.

“What about me?” Dongwoo replied.

“Wouldn’t you keep the group together?”

“Yes,” Dongwoo answered immediately. “I would try my hardest even if I’m the only one fighting because that’s what family does. We fight for each other.”

“You are right,” I nodded my head. “We are family.”

“But are you sure there isn’t something else we can talk about? A reason why you are ignoring Woohyun?” Dongwoo asked.

Yes, Woohyun keeps dying every day and I think he likes me because he kissed me. But I don’t know if I like him because it’s not like I like guys. I just like his lips I mean-

“No,” I shook my head. “I’m just tired.”

“If there is something else you can te-”

“Dinner!” Woohyun’s shouted from the dining room.

“Are you sure you don’t want to eat?” Dongwoo asked standing up from his spot.

“I’m fine,” I lied as I wrapped my blankets around my body.

“Well if there is something else then you can tell me later,” Dongwoo told me as he headed to the door.

“Don’t worry everything is okay,” I faked a smile.

As Dongwoo left the room my heart couldn’t help but drop.

I’m sorry Dongwoo but it will be better tomorrow. I hope you can understand the choice I had to make.