Day: 0

“All I want for Christmas is-“

“TURN IT OFF!” I shouted covering my ears in protest.

“Just deal with it Sunggyu,” Woohyun snapped as he raised the volume to the song.

I wanted to take Woohyun’s Christmas cd that a fan had gifted him and chuck it out the window.

It wasn’t that I hated Christmas.

And no it wasn’t because the last five Christmases were spent in a hotel room with the members and staff. If you could even call that Christmas since we only had a half hour together to exchange gifts.

The gifts usually consisted of souvenirs because everyone was too busy working to purchase something else.

But that all had changed this year when Woohyun had watched A Christmas Story, Elf, Home Alone, and let’s not forget Miracle on 34th Street.

First, it started with decorations in our Japanese dorm that were almost too obnoxious to look at.

He even tried to bring a tree in but thankfully the bellman stopped him. Then this morning it seemed as if Christmas had barfed all over the dorm. A fake fireplace was drawn on a large piece of paper that was taped to the Living room wall. On the so called fireplace were seven stockings each one containing a member’s name.  A green wreath hanged from different places in the apartment each containing red, white and green colors. Mistletoes were placed above various doorways and whenever two members passed through Woohyun would be the first one to shout for them to kiss.  Ever since I had to kiss Dongwoo I was more aware of those kissing bombs.

But then the Christmas music started and at first it was bearable. But hearing the same jingle over and over again would make a monk go crazy!

We should be in the dance studio practicing for our Japanese comeback hence the whole reason why we are in Japan but because Woohyun had begged the CEO Jung Yeop and even threaten to sue the company. Woohyun was gifted Christmas Eve off with the rest of the members.

Woohyun had, in turn, threatened each of us with blackmail if we didn’t stay in. He wanted the perfect Christmas and it was driving me crazy.

“Can you go see if Hoya is done hanging up the lights on the balcony,” Woohyun asked looking up from whisking some type of  white liquid.

“No,” I scoffed as I cross my arms.

“Then can you at least take the steaks out of the oven in fifteen minutes,” Woohyun asked as he poured the liquid into a bright red bowl.

“I’m busy.”

“Listen,” Woohyun tossed down the whisk causing the remaining white liquid to splash against the kitchen counter. I wanted to yell at Woohyun to not create such a big mess but I knew that this was not the time to nag.

“I have to get dress and I still have to finish dessert! Can you please just do this one thing for me!?” Woohyun asked pulling off his apron that was, of course, Christmas theme.

“You do realize that...it’s just us?” I pointed out. “There is no need to get dressed up.”

“It’s Christmas let’s just pretend we are somewhat classy okay?” Woohyun sighed.  “Now are you going to watch the steaks or not?”

“Not!” I slammed my foot down to show that I wasn’t going to be Woohyun’s slave.

“Sung-“

“Do you need help?” a handsome boy wearing a nice suit walked around the corner holding an expensive camera in his hands.

“Ah yes Myungsoo can you take-“

“I’ll do it,” I shot up from my seat.

Woohyun scan me up and down before nodding. “Okay but you have to take it out in 15 minutes any longer and it will burn. Set a timer and don’t fall aslee-“

“I’m not an idiot,” I replied rolling my eyes.

“Could confuse me,” Woohyun said in a sing like voice as he walked out of the kitchen.

“YAH!” I called after him but Woohyun was already gone.

“Hyung I can watch the steaks,” Myungsoo said as he placed his camera down onto the counter.

“No it’s fine,” I told him as I sat back down on the bar stool. “Where are the rest of the members?”

“Oh well, Sungjong is watching a movie. Hoya is still trying to figure out how to put up those lights," Myungsoo told me as he ran a hand through his black hair."Oh and Sungyeol is in the Livingroom reading a book but I have a feeling he’s about to prank someone."

“So basically everything is normal,” I sighed. “So what about Dongwoo?”

“Oh hyung he’s cleaning your room,” Myungsoo told me with a slight frown.

“Okay…wait what!?” I snapped standing up from my seat once again.

“Cleaning your room,” Myungsoo repeated again.

“But Dongwoo doesn’t clean he plays with our things then randomly stuffs them under our beds or in closets and says it’s clean! I need to stop him!" I shouted as I pushed past Myungsoo.

I had to stop that crazy dinosaur from destroying my things or worst eating all of my vitamins!

In my fit of rage, I had forgotten all about the promise that I had made Woohyun just mere minutes ago.

I must have only been gone for ten minutes. Okay, maybe it was longer than that! But then I heard Woohyun screaming my name and I knew I had made a mistake.

“,” I mumbled as I ran out of the bedroom towards the kitchen.

By the time I reached the kitchen the rest of the members were already crowding around the counter. The kitchen smelt as if it had been to war and I knew I had messed up big time.

“I’m hungry!” Dongwoo whined grabbing ahold of his stomach.

“We can’t eat that!” Hoya pointed out in disgust.

“I thought you were good at cooking?” Sungjong asked with venom dripping from each word.

“Shut up,” Woohyun scoffed as he stabbed a knife through the charcoaled meat.

“Weren’t those expensive?” Sungyeol added but immediately shut his mouth when he saw the glare that Woohyun was giving him.

“Maybe it’s still good?” Myungsoo added but his face said otherwise.

This mess could only lead to one thing and I for one did not want to be there when Woohyun blew up.

I took a step backward praying that I could escape before anyone noticed I was gone.

“SUNGGYU!” Woohyun screamed with fire in his eyes.

I froze as I slowly glance up to see a red face Woohyun.

“I eh,” I paused. What could I say to make Woohyun not kill me? Maybe I could throw some aegyo his way an-

“Are you kidding me!?” Woohyun snapped his round cheeks becoming red.

Okay, aegyo will not work in this situation.

“You had one job today and you screwed it up! You knew how important tonight was for m-“

“Stop,” I held up my hand. “I’m sorry I didn’t give enough attention to your stupid steaks but this has to stop! You’ve gone too overboard with this Christmas thing!”

“Hyung,” Sungjong whisper as if he was trying to stop me but I was too far in.

“You need to stop overplaying the darn Christmas music! Oh and these mistletoes! What are we on some type of variety show?! We do enough fan service on stage we don’t need to do it in our own home. Also, it looks like Santa Claus threw up all over this house and I swear if I see another snowman or elf I’m going to punch someone in the face.”

“Hyung!” Myungsoo gasps out covering his mouth.

“Oh and this dinner! I don’t understand why you are spending all day cooking American food when we much rather eat Korean food. We should be practicing for our Japanese comeback not putting up lights or kissing under the mistletoe. No one cares about Christmas!”

The silence that overtook the kitchen hurt worse than a punch.

Woohyun’s face was hard to read but I knew he was angry or maybe he was sad. But instead of yelling at me or crying he just stood there and stared at the wall quietly.

“Woohyun I’m s-“

“You are cruel,” Woohyun snapped at me and now I could see that tears were in his eyes. “You were too cruel…Hyung.”

My whole body stopped as the word Hyung replay in my head over and over again. He hadn't called me Hyung since our trainee days when we weren't exactly friends. Actually, we were more like enemies.

The front door slammed  and I knew that Woohyun must have run off.

“Hyung that was mean!” Myungsoo cried as he ran out of the kitchen.

Dongwoo shut his head disappointed. “Maybe you should go aft-”

“Whatever!” I snapped as I pushed my way past the members towards my bedroom.

Once the door was closed behind me I let out a sigh as I slid to the ground in defeat.

I wasn’t in the wrong he was. Not me. I wasn’t the irrational one he was. Not me.

So why did I feel so crummy inside?

_________

It was almost two hours later when I heard knocking on the door.

Woohyun.

He must have forgotten his keys during his little tantrum.

I expected that he was now complaining about the cold or how much of a tyrant I was being.

Tomorrow I will make him breakfast okay maybe I will order the managers to pick me up something.

He can’t stay mad at me forever, right?

Not like it’s my fault either!

Then suddenly I heard a deep voice that made me sit up in bed.

I climb out of my nice warm bed and headed towards the door, with each step I was able to hear the voice clearer.

Who was here?

I open the bedroom door to be blinded by the living room light that shined brightly into my eyes.

“Sunggyu,” a shaky voice called out.

My eyes squinted in the voices direction to see our Japanese manager standing next to an older man that was wearing all blue and a yellow patch of a bird on his chest. It was only seconds later did I noticed that he was holding a police officer hat.

I sighed as I crossed my arms. “Did Woohyun send you here to arrest me for ruining his stupid Christmas?”

The manager didn’t have to say anything because it was painted all over his face.

“What’s wrong?” I asked walking towards the manager and the police officer.

“Where are the other members?” The manager asked looking around the empty living room.

“Watching a movie in Hoya and Sungjong’s room,” I informed them. “What’s going on?”

The Japanese officer began to speak but I couldn’t understand a word he was saying.

I turn to the manager and asked. “What is he saying? What happen?”

“Sunggyu,” the manager grabbed my arm. “Woohyun…”

“What?” I asked my heart was pounding heavily as my hands began to shake.

“Woohyun,” the manager swallowed back the tears. “He was hit outside the dorm.”

“Was he talking back to someone? Did a gangster hit him?" I stood up on my tippy toes looking over the manager’s shoulder for the member who was probably sporting a black eye.

“Sunggyu,” the manager grabbed ahold of my shoulder. “He was hit by a car outside the dorm."

The manager took a deep breath then he open his mouth. "He’s gone."

“Gone where?” I asked. “He really is throwing a hissy fit over this isn't he? Leave it to Nam Woohyun to go this far!”

“Stop Sunggyu,” the manager raised up his hand.

But I couldn't stop. I wasn't sure if it was because of my anger or embarrassment that our little fight had gone so far.

“Seriously he is such-”

“He's dead Sunggyu. Woohyun is dead.” The manager told me slowly with sympathy in his eyes.

“No,” I laughed. “Is this payback for ruining his stupid Christmas dinner? Where’s the hidden camera?”

“Sunggyu,” the manager sighed then he wrapped his arms around my body and pulled me into a tight hug.

I couldn’t' understand why he was hugging me.

It didn't make any sense that he was dead.

“No,” I whispered.

"I'm sorry," the manager cried into my shoulder.

“NO!” I screamed as red hot tears fell down my cheeks. "It can't be true!"

My legs suddenly crashed to the ground as I was no longer in control of my body.

Nothing was ever going to be the same.

_________

When you are a child death is nonexistent.

When you are a teenager death can't touch you.

When you are twenty death is a second thought.

Well, that's what I thought back then before he...

Death shouldn't have been on my mind but here I was in the hospital surrounded by my members.

I had to say goodbye to my second in command and my best friend who shouldn’t have tasted death this early.

I was going to fall into pieces and as a leader that was a dangerous thing to do.

“I need to go to the bathroom,” my voice was raw from the crying causing it to sound rough. The members sitting in the plastic chairs in the waiting room didn’t say a word. Instead of repeating myself again I walked through the empty cold hallway with no destination in mind.

Woohyun’s parents would be here to take their son’s…body back home soon.

His body.

I paused stopping in an empty hallway no longer able to take the pain.

I slammed my back against the wall as I let out a grunt wrenching sob. Hot tears that I swore I wouldn’t let fall were now running down like a waterfall.

His body.

Isn’t it funny that when you lose a life you are no longer called by your name? You are just a body nothing special anymore.

Sounds of someone crying broke my thoughts as I looked up to see a beautiful woman wearing an antique white laced dress. Her long black hair cover her shoulders making her look like a ghost except her rosy cheeks  told me differently.

“Yenny!” she shouted as a white blur ran in-between the woman's legs. The little blur was actually a girl wearing the same white dress as her mother's. Instead of having her hair down it was placed into two pigtails.

The little girl suddenly tripped on her own feet and went flying into the cold floor in front of my feet. The child quickly sat up  looking at her mother with large eyes than opened wide.

Then she screamed.

I covered my ears as the mother ran to her child but it was too late. The child was letting out an ear piercing scream sending the quiet hallway into chaos.

“Sorry,” the woman apologizes as she picked up her child. “Sorry.”

“It hurts,” the little girl shouted holding on to her elbow.

“I know Yenny,” the woman told the girl as she rocked her in her arms.

I was starting to get a headache from all this screaming.

If Woohyun was here he would have already calmed down the child and personally became her new father figure or something like that.

But he’s not here I thought coldly.

I’m not sure why I did it. It wasn’t like I owe this child or mother anything.

I stood up from my seat  staring at the crying child and smiled widely which may or may not have scared her even more.

Then I took a deep breath and started to sing. “I want you back. If I don’t have you my heart closes up. I can’t breathe….I want you back.”

The little girl had stopped crying and was now looking at me in awe.

“You sing well Ajusshi.”

“Ajusshi?” I pouted. “No, it’s Oppa!”

“Ajusshi,” the girl started again. “Why are you so sad?”

“W-What?” I sputtered out.

“The song,” the girl pointed out a she wiped away her tears. “It’s sad so are you sad?”

I frown trying to hold in my emotions. “My best friend just died,” I confessed.

“Here,” the little girl reached into her pocket and pulled out a single gold coin. It wasn’t real gold no it was a plastic disk that was painted gold.

“I eh thanks,” I took the weird gift from the girl.

“If you throw the coin in the air and make a wish it will come true,” the girl said with such conviction that I thought she was telling me the truth.

“Yenny,” the woman sigh. “Leave the man alone. Sorry.”

The woman bowed politely then started to walk down the hallway. “Don’t forget Ajusshi throw the coin in the air and make a wish. Bring back your best friend!”

The woman and the little girl disappeared around the corner leaving me with the gold coin.

I looked down frowning at the coin in my hand. If only this contained the magic that the girl so desperately told me about.

But it was worth a try. Right?

I looked around the hallway making sure it was empty I didn’t need anyone witnessing this. They would have thought I went crazy and lock me up.

I took a deep breath then I threw the golden coin into the air and wished upon it. I wished that today never happen and that Woohyun was still alive.

I caught the golden coin and for a second, I thought that Woohyun would appear.

He would walk around the corner with a goofy smile on his face and say there was a mix-up.

We would laugh and curse over how stupid the hospitals was for faking his own death. Then Woohyun would surprise the members and of course Sungyeol would joke happily that Woohyun should have pretended to be a ghost. Of course, Myungsoo and Dongwoo would cry and Sungjong would just smile. Hoya would make some comment about how he was going to take over Woohyun’s position.

But he didn't come.

The stupid coin couldn’t bring back my best friend because he was gone.