It did not end up like his dream. In fact, it ended up more like the first night Sehun had stayed over, only with a lot more tears. He knew Kyungsoo was crying, but he was sure he was too, though he couldn't pinpoint the exact reason why. There was an intense feeling of relief that came to him but he knew that was wrong, he shouldn't be feeling good about this. But the amount of trust emanating from Kyungsoo to him made him temporarily forget why it shouldn't be happening. Why else would Kyungsoo kiss him, if he didn't trust him?

Waking up next to Kyungsoo however, was nothing like waking up next to Sehun. Now that the intenseness of the previous night had passed, Jongin was overcome with guilt, as he watched Kyungsoo’s chest rise and fall gently.

He didn't know what he and Sehun were, or what he really meant to Sehun, but he knew what Sehun meant to him and he wasn't willing to lose that.

He liked Kyungsoo, he guessed, even though the man was confusing as hell—telling him to move and then kissing him—but this wasn't what he wanted. What he wanted was for Kyungsoo to be safe, that was all, and this, definitely wasn't considered safe.

But he didn't wake Kyungsoo up, though his phone told him he only had fifteen minutes to get to class. Everything was so peaceful in that moment, despite Jongin's guilt, and he didn't want Kyungsoo to wake up and be a part of that too. He thought he'd just let the spell of peace Kyungsoo was in, in that moment, last a little while longer. After all, it wasn't his fault. Jongin should have been the one to push him away, even if rejection was probably the last thing that Kyungsoo needed.

But what had happened had happened and nothing could change that now. All Jongin could do was repent, and make sure it never happened again.

Sehun texted him. Of course he did, saying he was worried that Jongin wasn't in class. He didn't reply just yet.

Watching Kyungsoo wake up was aweing to Jongin. He had such a pretty face, it looked so young, that Jongin would never be able to correctly guess his age. His eyes moved slowly beneath his eyelids before they fluttered a bit. Then he opened them slowly, meeting with Jongin's immediately.

His cheeks reddened. Kyungsoo must have known he had been staring. The man sat up on Jongin's tiny mattress and stretched.

“This can never happen again, obviously,” Kyungsoo said. Jongin didn't expect that, but he nodded in agreement. “I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me. I try not to get too emotional but you just—”

“It's okay. But you're right, it shouldn't happen again.”

Kyungsoo nodded at him. “I still think you should just take my advice. Save yourself the trouble and just move, okay?”

Jongin felt the surge of anger from the night before return. How can he still be like this?

But he didn't argue this time. He didn't show any sign of agreement either. He just watched Kyungsoo smile at him, and bend down, leaving a ghost of a kiss on his brow before his hair, making him feel like a child. Jongin decided he hated how confusing Kyungsoo was.

“I've never met anyone like you,” Kyungsoo said softly. “I'm glad to have been so lucky.”

That was the last thing he said before he pulled his hands away from Jongin's hair, as Jongin refrained from following his touch, and left.

Jongin sighed when he heard the door close and unlocked his phone.

I'm sorry, I overslept. I'll be there soon.

As he was getting dressed he got a reply.

I'll be waiting :)

He had never felt so undeserving.

----

Jongin decided that not telling Sehun about what happened was probably for the best. He was determined not to let something like this ever happen again, so there was no point in complicating things when he and Sehun hadn't yet defined their relationship.

He still felt immensely guilty, but he knew that telling Sehun would hurt him and he'd rather lie and internalize his guilt than see Sehun hurt. It was a little selfish, he knew, but what else could he that wouldn't end in him possibly losing Sehun.

They met up at their second class and Sehun put a hand on his thigh when he sat down, ultimately distracting him from even attempting to take any comprehensible notes for the rest of the class. Any time he thought he would get used to it, Sehun would lightly squeeze his thigh or start rubbing circles with his thumb and his head would spin. He was glad he chose not to wear tight pants today.

The day passed quickly and before Jongin knew it, he was at work.

Yifan looked surprised to see him.

“I didn't know you were working today?”

“You put me on the schedule....?”

Yifan went and checked. “Sorry about that Jongin, I guess I forgot to tell you that we’re over staffed today. You can take the night off.”

Jongin didn't mind that. He had a few assignment deadlines approaching and would be glad to get ahead.

But he couldn't concentrate.

Kyungsoo was right. He really couldn't take it anymore. The fighting had started up again. This was the earliest in the day he had ever heard it, usually he only heard sounds from next door later into the night but it was still early in the evening.

Kyungsoo was very obviously not sober. He couldn't understand a thing that was being said, but truthfully, it didn't sound much like fighting this time. It sounded like someone was pleading with him, and he was slowly starting to give in, that also, in an intoxicated state. That made Jongin angry. He had half a mind to go over there and knock down the door and somehow put some sense into Kyungsoo. But he couldn't, he knew that. He had to stay away.

Eventually, the man started sounding really frustrated with the fact that Kyungsoo was still being stubborn and not giving in as quickly as he had hoped. Jongin felt like he might know what would happen next. He didn't want to be around for it, especially since there was nothing he could do.

He apparently couldn't call the police, he definitely couldn't interfere himself. He wasn't a fighter and if things got violent, well then he and Kyungsoo both would be in trouble.

But he did know who he could call. Even if it was just for distraction.

Sehun told him the address to a party some upper year student he knew was throwing. He didn't really know what kind of person threw a party on a Thursday night but it would definitely be better than sitting alone in his apartment listening to what he was now.

So after changing into some jeans and a comfortable, but not entirely hideous sweater, he silently prayed Kyungsoo would be okay and caught a bus that dropped him off near the address. It was dark now, as autumn was looming but he didn’t expect the music to already be booming. It wasn't that late but he could hear the party before he the block. He texted Sehun to meet him outside, not entirely sure he wanted to go in at all.

He used to be into partying, he still was, but he thought that for now he'd rather just spend time with Sehun. The door opened and the boy he was waiting for stumbled out and grinned at him.

“Hey,” he said, draping his arms around Jongin tightly and attempting to kiss him. He didn't entirely miss Jongin's mouth.

“I don't know if I wanna be here right now,” Jongin told him.

“It's okay!” Sehun said laughing. “I was just planning on loading up on the free booze and then splitting. Whadya say?”

“Seems like you've had nearly enough to me,” Jongin said, laughing.

“Nearly,” Sehun agreed. “But you haven't.”

It didn't sound like a bad plan to Jongin so he let Sehun drag him into the house and pour him a shot.

After only two straight, he decided he couldn't take the taste of anymore tequila and only twenty minutes later he was happily buzzed. Switching to beer, he gulped down an entire cup in one go. Sehun stopped him on his third one.

Jongin pouted at him hoping Sehun wouldn't be able to resist and give him his drink back. But instead, he pulled Jongin through the crowd and into the tiny guest bathroom and locked the door. Without even turning on the lights, their hands and lips found each other in a drunken frenzy. Jongin was reminded of his random high school hookups at parties held in houses just like this one. He hadn't done this in a while but this wasn't just some random hookup. This was Sehun.

He happily kissed back and didn't complain as cold air hit his heated bare skin because Sehun was just as hot and just as bare and pressed as close as he could possibly be.

----

They had somehow managed to not fall asleep in that bathroom and caught a cab back to Jongin's apartment. One thing they could both agree on the next morning is that Sehun is incredibly smart for buying condoms that are already lubed up and always keeping some in his wallet.

“It's not that bad though is it?”

Jongin only grumbled in reply.

“Can't be, considering how you were begging for more.”

Jongin smacked Sehun's chest as he laughed and straddled his waist, his entire lower body protesting at the movement. He would not let Sehun make fun of him for being sore.

“We’ll see if you're laughing like this next time.”

“Next time, huh? I imagine it'll be pretty much the same.”

“Don't think I'll ever let you top again if you don't shut up.”

Sehun grinned and pretended to zip his lips shut. Jongin replicated the smile and leaned down to kiss him. Sehun moaned into the kiss.

When they pulled apart, Jongin rested his pounding head on Sehun's chest and Sehun put his hands on Jongin's hips, squeezing slightly and then moving up and down along his torso. Jongin felt he could stay like that forever. Unfortunately, Sehun apparently liked to ruin moments like these.

“As much as I wanna stay in bed with you for the rest of the day, we have class in less than an hour.”

Jongin groaned. He was on the verge of falling back asleep. But Sehun pushed himself into a sitting position and Jongin, who was lying on top of him, had no choice but to sit up too.

He took a deep breath before he pulled himself off Sehun's lap and got out clothes for the both of them. They downed a couple of pain killers before they left, playfully bumping into each other as they went out the door, locking it behind them. Minseok and Jongdae were already waiting for the elevator when they came out and the two boys greeted the men politely, though Sehun's greeting sounded more like mixture between a mumble and growl. Jongin knew he still wasn't happy about what had happened.

The men greeted them back, Jongdae slightly nudging Minseok about something with a smirk, likely thinking they wouldn't notice—or maybe he didn't care if they did. Minseok elbowed him back, harshly whispering something at him. Jongdae continued to smirk.

“Your nose looks a lot better,” Minseok commented.

“Yeah, it hurts less too.”

“Again, we're both really sorry about the misunderstanding that—”

“Really, don't worry about it. It was my fault.”

Minseok looked ready to argue but the elevator dinged to announce its arrival and the doors slid open. Minseok closed his mouth and entered the elevator with Jongdae right behind him. As soon as Jongin entered, he caught his reflection properly in the mirrored sides of the elevator and quickly realized why Jongdae must have been smirking.

He hadn't been able to glance at himself in the mirror, earlier when he and Sehun were brushing their teeth—because apparently Sehun had left a toothbrush in Jongin's bathroom the night he had been there with Baekhyun and Chanyeol in hopes that he'd get to stay over again sometime, which Jongin found weird but endearing—since Sehun couldn't stop teasing him and splashing him with water the entire time.

He looked like a complete mess, and now properly taking in Sehun's appearance as well, he didn't look much better. Both their necks were riddled with reddened hickeys that were bound to turn purple soon. Sehun didn't seem to care but Jongin put the hood of his sweater up to conceal his neck at least a little bit. Thankfully, it was a lot less noticeable that way.

It's not that Jongin didn't want anyone to find out. If he were still in high school he would worn the hickeys proudly because it meant he was getting action and others weren't. But Sehun felt so private to him. Personal. It felt weird for him to have others know of their intimacy, as if that could somehow devalue it and make it less theirs.

Of course it didn't. He knew that. And with Sehun pressed against his side in the tiny elevator and Jongdae’s smirk still visible from where he was standing, he wished he was still that high schooler, so he wouldn't mind being embarrassingly proud of getting laid.

But there was something that slightly bothered Jongin. Something that they hadn't yet outright talked about.

So as they walked side by side towards the campus, he decided to just blurt it out.

“What are we?”

Sehun turned to him in surprise. “W-what?”

“Never mind.” It was drizzling slightly and Sehun had pulled up the hood of the sweater that he had borrowed from Jongin, as well.

“No, wait. I've been kind of thinking about that too.”

“Oh.”

“I just— I want you to know, I care about you. A lot. I have for a long time. I'm not exactly sure when it I went from thinking of you as a friend to wanting to be more than that, and I don't know if maybe this all happened faster than I expected, I mean it's been less than a week since we first kissed, but it's more than just this for me. More than the kissing and the s and the and I kinda hope it is for you too.”

Jongin chuckled. “You kinda just took the words right out of my mouth.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Jongin said, nodded. Sehun reached for his hand and squeezed it tightly.

“So we're like… boyfriends, then?”

“I guess we are.”

Sehun grinned and ducked his head.

They walked to their class hand in hand, sat at the back as usual, sitting closely, sharing shy smiles and Jongin had never been so content and happy.

So yeah, I know I said angst but then this happened instead...

All I'm saying is don't get used to it because I don't do well with any kind of fluff lol

Don't forget to let me know what you think!!

(P.S. Anyone else on their deathbed cos of all these teasers and that leaked video? I haven't watched it but I have the link and it's HAUNTING me)