It's been almost a month but my sorry is BACK

 Also I know I put warnings in the beginning but I'm going to put them here again MAJOR WARNING FOR VIOLENCE!!

I don't want anyone to be triggered or uncomfortable :(

Thursday Part 2

Luhan will be back soon. That's all Kyungsoo can think about as Junmyeon grunts above him. And though that's where his mind is at, his body is too sensitive to care. He focuses on the rhythmic sound of the bed frame against the wall, missing the shuffling noises next door.

----

Luhan had just arrived and found his apartment empty. He'd left Kyungsoo on the couch, but the cushions were long cold and everything was quiet. He drops his things near his door and goes to his bedroom just to make sure that Kyungsoo hadn't crawled into bed and fallen asleep while waiting before he went to check next door.

Confusion clouded his tired mind when he heard noises next door. Familiar noises. It wasn't the first time he'd heard sounds of coming from Kyungsoo’s apartment. But why now? Realization hit him quickly, as well as fear. The first thought was a selfish one. That Kyungsoo had just been using him for comfort this whole time, and now he was using someone else, or worse, was back with Junmyeon despite everything. But he dispelled those theories quickly.

Kyungsoo isn't like that.

Right?

A new kind of fear was rising up his throat. That Junmyeon, true to his word, hadn't given up on trying to get Kyungsoo back and used the power he had over his vulnerable friend to manipulate him again. He knew that was much more likely. Through the mist of his thought process, he realized he could no longer hear anything. Pushing aside any feelings of hurt he felt at the fact that Kyungsoo still wasn't legitimately his—his fear for Kyungsoo’s state more predominant over his own feelings in that moment—he rushed out, just in time for Junmyeon to swing the door of Kyungsoo’s apartment open and step out.

He smirked at Luhan, still buttoning up his shirt. “He’ll never get over me, you know. I won't let him move on. Especially not with you.”

Junmyeon pushed Luhan aside and into a wall before continuing on his way.

Luhan ignored how his shoulder ached from its impact against the wall and made his way into Kyungsoo's apartment. He passed an almost empty bottle of Jack Daniels, making him hesitate when he reached Kyungsoo’s closed bedroom door. He knew it would be worse than what he had originally thought, as he heard Kyungsoo’s sobs through the door.

Luhan pushed the handle down slowly and then pushed the door in. It creaked ever so slightly, but didn't catch the attention of the man in the bed. Luhan took in his appearance. His hair was disheveled, facing the door and blanket draped around his waist, his toes peeking out. Luhan could see the faint bumps in Kyungsoo's spine moving along under the skin with every heavy breath he took.

Slowly, he approached the bed. The floor creaked loudly under his steps and Kyungsoo froze. Luhan saw wide eyes take a peek at him, but disappear just as quick.

“I'm so sorry.” Luhan had barely heard those words. He approached faster.

“How much did you drink?”

Kyungsoo sniffled. “I'm not sure. A lot.”

“Did he… did he hurt you.”

He saw Kyungsoo shake his head slightly. “No. It was my fault. I told him I wanted it.”

“You shouldn't have been drinking.” Luhan sighed heavily as he sat on the edge of Kyungsoo's small bed.

Kyungsoo turned so he was lying on his back and looking up at Luhan. His face was flushed bright red and his lips trembled as he spoke. “I know…”

“But this—this whole situation. None of it is your fault. Okay?”

Kyungsoo sniffled again, nodding. Luhan hoped that Kyungsoo truthfully believed his words, but after everything, he doubted it.

“Are you sure he didn't hurt you?”

Kyungsoo nodded again. “I'm fine. But… I thought I could handle being alone. But I can't. I can't be alone.”

Tears welled up in his eyes again. Luhan kicked off his shoes and then nudged Kyungsoo over so he was on his side again.

“Shh, don't cry okay? I'm not going to leave you alone.”

He lay down behind Kyungsoo, on top of the blanket and held him tightly.

“Please stay, Luhan.”

“I am. Okay? I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying right here.”

He held Kyungsoo as he cried all night, neither of them drifting off to sleep until the early hours of the morning.

Friday

Kyungsoo woke to Luhan's nose cozied up against the back of his neck and his hand resting on Kyungsoo's soft stomach. He sighed, and snuggling into Luhan's embrace, he got ready to go right back to sleep. There was an irritation at the back of his throat, getting worse as the seconds passed by. A cough forced its way up his throat, bringing to his attention how dry his mouth was. The coughing fit set off a splitting headache starting between his eyes and travelling to the back of his neck.

He was forced into a sitting position as a hand rubbed his back. The coughing subsided.

“Do you need to puke?”

Kyungsoo shook his head slowly, and Luhan continued rubbing his back. Kyungsoo knew he didn't deserve any sympathy from Luhan. He would have felt better if Luhan had gotten angry with him.

“You're coming to watch me tomorrow night, right?”

“Only if you still want me to,” Kyungsoo replied quietly.

“Of course I want you to come. I told you that I have a surprise for you right? My solo song, I chose it with you in mind.” Luhan deposited a soft kiss on Kyungsoo's shoulder, making him shiver slightly from the affectionate gesture.If only I deserved this.

“Do you need to rehearse today?”

“Yes.” Kyungsoo’s heart dropped to his stomach. Luhan would be leaving him alone again. “You're coming with me though.”

Kyungsoo turned to look at him. “I thought your performance was supposed to be a surprise.”

“Your well-being is more important than keeping my performance a surprise.”

Kyungsoo shook his head. “I want to be surprised.”

“You're still coming. I promised you I wouldn't leave you alone. If you want you can just chill on campus where there’s plenty of people around until I'm done. It'll only be a couple of hours today anyways. We’re supposed to be resting our voices.”

Kyungsoo nodded and leaned back into Luhan's touch, his hand still rubbing soft circles into Kyungsoo’s .

“Until then, how about we go get a late breakfast, hm?”

“That sounds nice.” Kyungsoo watched Luhan climb out of the bed and stretch. “Um, Lu? About yesterday—”

“Don't even think about apologizing, Do Kyungsoo. You have no idea how angry I'll be if you do.”

“But if I hadn't been drinking—”

“If you hadn't been drinking, he would still have come, he would still have talked and got you to feel like . Even if you hadn't slept with him he would have hurt you. That's all he does Kyungsoo—he hurts you. And it isn't your fault that he's twisted.”

Kyungsoo knew it was pointless to argue with someone like Luhan. Someone who, once set on believing something wouldn't sway his opinion. Someone with pride, which was something Kyungsoo had been stripped of. He had let Junmyeon wreck him in so many ways over the past year. He wasn't sure he could ever build himself up again.

But with Luhan's soft gaze, his stern but caring words—ordering Kyungsoo to stop blaming himself—he thought that maybe there was hope for him. Hope for recovery.

So he took Luhan's outstretched hand into his own and let himself be pulled out of bed and into a warm embrace.

Luhan pulled away quickly. “Ughh, your breath smells like whiskey Kyungsoo. It's gross.”

Kyungsoo smiled slightly as Luhan pushed him, still , into the bathroom and ordered him to shower and brush his teeth.

“I'm hungry so don't take longer than ten minutes.”

“You're giving me only ten minutes to get ready?”

“Ten minutes or I'm coming in there and trust me when I say that you won't enjoy me showering with you when I'm hungry and cranky.”

“I don't know. I kind of like the idea of showering with you.”

“Oh no dear Kyungsoo. I should correct myself. I won't be showering with you. I'll be giving you a bath. The worst bath of your life. Think soap everywhere. Every single crevice I can find.”

Kyungsoo scowled. “See you in ten minutes.”

----

“One minute thirty eight seconds!”

Kyungsoo grunted at the direction of the door as he dried himself. He winced at the pain in his head, barely glancing at himself in the mirror, knowing all he'd see is bags under his eyes and the scab on his lip.

“I'm coming in!”

“I'm done!” He called out, rushing to pull his shirt over his dripping hair and then struggling to pull on skinny jeans. He sighed before he gave up on them and grabbed a pair of sweatpants hanging on the hooks behind the bathroom door.

Luhan wasn't outside the door when he came out like he'd expected. He instead found Luhan near the door, already changed and ready to go. He seemed to be texting someone when Kyungsoo approached him. He put his phone away when he noticed Kyungsoo.

“That was the longest shower ever.”

“I took exactly ten minutes.”

They went down to the cafe across street from the building. Luhan told him the owner lived in the building.

“I'm sure you've met him before. He’s really tall and looks like he walked straight out of TV screen. He moved in about a year ago.”

Kyungsoo cleared his throat. “I haven't really interacted much with people this past year. Junmyeon was very specific about the people he was okay with me interacting with.”

“Right, how could I forget. Especially since you were only allowed to talk to me because I'm your classmate.”

“Luhan…”

“I'm sorry. He stole my best friend. I'm bitter.”

Kyungsoo didn't look up as they crossed the street. But Luhan stopped in front of the cafe doors and turned to him.

“You'll like Yifan. He's really nice. It'll be good for you to make new friends.”

Kyungsoo nodded, still not looking up.

“Hey.” Luhan used his palm to gently push Kyungsoo's chin up until they made eye contact. “I'm sorry. I won't talk like that anymore. I don't want to make you upset. I know I speak without thinking sometimes.”

“It's okay,” Kyungsoo smiled at him.

“I swear, from this moment forward, my brain to mouth filter is officially on.”

“I doubt that.”

“Kyungsoo,” Luhan whined with a pout. “Now you're the one saying mean things. Don't you believe in me to keep my mouth shut?”

“Not even slightly,” Kyungsoo laughed.

The pout dropped from Luhan's face to be replaced by a soft smile. “I like seeing you laugh like that. I know things have been difficult.”

Kyungsoo tried not to turn red under Luhan's gaze. He just nodded slightly at the comment. “Let's go inside. I'm hungry too.”

----

With full stomachs they left the cafe. It had been fairly busy so there wasn’t much time to chat with Yifan, but Luhan had been right, Kyungsoo liked Yifan. Through their brief interaction, he had found Yifan handsome and charming. He thought he should ask Luhan to introduce him to more of his friends. He had had plenty of friends of his own before Junmyeon. But now he really only talked to Jongdae and Minseok, that also only because they lived so close to him and weren't willing to give him up even though he had begun hanging out with them less and less over the course of the past year.

It troubled him that he hadn't realized until then how many people he had lost because of Junmyeon. Having to repeatedly tell people he was busy, and couldn't see them. He had thought, in the beginning, that maybe Junmyeon wouldn't have minded him being around other people if he was there too, but Junmyeon always refused to go out with him, insisting that they stay home. Kyungsoo never questioned him. He didn't like it when Junmyeon got angry with him. Though it was rare for Junmyeon to get violent with him—which is why he had found the incident on Sunday so perplexing, when Junmyeon had bitten his lip so hard—angry Junmyeon always made him feel guilty, as if everything wrong in the world was Kyungsoo's fault, and Kyungsoo had always believed him.

What else could I have done? He had admired Junmyeon since the day he had started talking to him mainly because the professor was older, and therefore he had the right to always correct Kyungsoo and berate him and tell him he was wrong, right?

Wrong.

That's what Luhan said. Once they were sitting in Luhan's apartment working on some assignments, he had asked Luhan if they could talk. He spilled everything he was thinking, because Luhan must know. He has to know what was right and what was wrong. Since Kyungsoo certainly didn't.

“Wrong again.”

“Huh? But you always have something to say about everything. You wouldn't if you didn't know about it.”

“Kyungsoo, I talk because I like hearing the sound of my own voice. I don't know everything. But I do know that nothing he said to you was right.”

Kyungsoo buried his head into his arms. He wanted to talk about it, but at the same time he didn't. He felt gentle fingers card through his hair and he sighed at the calming feeling that followed the affectionate touches.

“Sometimes…” Luhan started, his fingers pausing, still tangled in Kyungsoo's dark strands, “when you ask me stuff like this, I feel like I'm just always telling you how wrong you are, like he did.”

“I don't feel bad when you tell me I'm wrong,” Kyungsoo mumbled. “I don't want to believe I'm right anyways. Not about the things he used to say to me.”

Luhan resumed massaging Kyungsoo's scalp for a few minutes before his phone beeped. Kyungsoo raised his head with a sigh when he felt Luhan's hand retreat.

“! I'm dead!”

“What's wrong?”

“I need to be on campus in ten minutes. My prof is going to be so mad if he finds out. !!”

He hurried to gather his things and Kyungsoo watched him curiously.

“Okay let's go.”

“Um… Luhan?”

“Yeah?” Luhan already had a hand on the door handle.

“I really have to finish this assignment.”

“Do you want me to—”

“No, you go ahead! It'll only take twenty minutes and then I'll change and take the next bus to campus.”

“Kyungsoo you can finish it at the library and submit it there too.”

“I’m like ninety percent sure there's supposed to be staff meetings in the library all day today. Which means he’s going to be there.”

Luhan sighed. “No offense—I don't doubt you in any way—but I don't feel comfortable leaving you alone. I can wait and we can take the next bus together.”

“I swear I'll be right behind you. I'll be there in half an hour total. I promise. I don't want you to be later than you already will be.”

“Okay. We’ll be in practice room 134, that's the one in the basement of the old building not the first floor of the new one. I'll leave my keys so you can lock up.”

Kyungsoo nodded. He knew the room. Luhan surprised him by walking to him quickly and giving him a sweet kiss.

“Half an hour. Or I'm coming back for you.”

Kyungsoo couldn't reply as he watched Luhan run out. His lips were tingling slightly despite the briefness of the kiss, and he had to press them tightly together to fight the giddiness that threatened to spill out of him. He didn't want to seem crazy, laughing to himself in an empty apartment. He was the only one there, it was himself he didn't want to seem crazy to, because he felt crazy enough as it was.

It was crazy to him, how he was only just recognizing Junmyeon's manipulations, despite experiencing them for a year. It was crazy to him that Luhan still cared about him after everything. It was crazy that he was sitting in Luhan's apartment right now, and that Luhan had just kissed him as if it was no big deal, so casually, like they did it all the time. They didn't. But Kyungsoo was getting the crazy feeling that they would soon. Or at least he crazily hoped.

He shook his head and gathered his thoughts. The assignment took a little longer than he expected. But Luhan wouldn't mind that it took him forty five minutes instead of thirty to get to campus. He was probably too busy rehearsing to notice the extra fifteen minutes anyways. He went to go quickly change before the bus would come. He picked up Luhan's keys and locked up the apartment before going into his own, ready to tackle the skinny jeans in his bathroom that had refused to go up his damp legs in the morning.

He stepped into the dark living room, not expecting to be blinded by light once he had closed the door. Junmyeon stood only a few feet away from him, hand on the light switch. Kyungsoo froze only for a moment before he dropped everything in his hands—his and Luhan's keys as well as his laptop and books—before pulling door open and launching himself out.

He was grabbed by the back of his collar and forcefully pulled back inside. This force felt different. It didn't feel like the night before when Junmyeon had forced himself into his apartment. Even though he was sitting on his on the floor watching Junmyeon lock the door, just like the night before, it didn't feel the same. Junmyeon wasn't here to trick Kyungsoo back to him. He must have known that Kyungsoo knew better by now. The scowl on Junmyeon's face told him that he was in more trouble than he had ever been in his life.

“Tell me what's wrong with me Kyungsoo. Huh? What is it about me that makes you not want me anymore?”

Kyungsoo shakily got back up to his feet, but didn't speak.

“You wanted me enough last night.”

“I was drunk.”

“I even told you I'd leave my family for you.” Junmyeon’s voice was getting louder now. “Is not even that enough for you? How much greedier are you going to get?”

“Get. Out.” He tried to sound forceful, but Junmyeon just ignored him, starting to stalk towards him, one step at a time.

“You're such a stupid little boy, you know that? Did you really think that telling her everything would ruin my life? As if I don't have her just as twisted as I had you?”

“What?” He stumbled backwards, trying to get away. He knew if he could just get to his bedroom, he'd have a chance to escape the predatory look in Junmyeon's eyes. His and Luhan's balcony doors were always unlocked. If he could get out of his own apartment and into Luhan's, he could lock himself in Luhan's bedroom and Junmyeon wouldn't be able to get to him even though he had dropped the front door keys.

Junmyeon was faster than him, however, managing to get a fist full of Kyungsoo's hair in his tight grasp before he could get too far. The sensation was so far from Luhan's hand teasing his thick locks. Tears pooled in the corner of his eyes from the stinging pain in his scalp.

“I know you went to her. And you told her. She told me that a student of mine dropped by with a conveniently scandalous bit of information about another student. Did you think I wouldn't know that it was you just because you sent your new boyfriend instead of coming yourself?”

Kyungsoo heard his phone ring, and felt it vibrate against his thigh, but before he could even react, Junmyeon already had the phone in his hand. He answered it swiftly, still holding Kyungsoo up by just his hair.

He laughed at whatever the person on the end said. Then Kyungsoo heard frantic screeching on the other side that could be no one other than Luhan.

“Kyungsoo, I think he wants to talk to you. But it seems he has plenty to say to me.”

Kyungsoo could clearly hear the profanities Luhan was spewing at Junmyeon once the call was on speaker.

“Luhan,” Kyungsoo sobbed out.

“I'm calling the ing police you sick bastard. Leave him alone!”

“Oh and do you think they're going to do anything about it? You already saw what happened when you tried to file a restraining order against me.” Kyungsoo whimpered loudly as Junmyeon's hold on his hair became tighter. “Yet another stupid decision on both your parts.”

“Junmyeon please! Please stop!”

“Are you going to be a good boy and come back to me?”

“Kyungsoo hold on okay?” Luhan yelled into the phone. He sounded out of breath.

Junmyeon dropped the phone onto the ground, shattering the screen, but Luhan's harsh panting was still coming through loud and clear. Junmyeon used his now free hand to grasp Kyungsoo's face.

“Answer me.”

Kyungsoo shook in fear, breathing hard himself as tears rolled down his face uncontrollably.

“Please… please stop…” he managed to mumble out, despite Junmyeon's hand squeezing his cheeks together, making it difficult to form coherent words. His hands, which had been desperately trying to weaken Junmyeon's hold on him with no headway, dropped limply to his side.

“I'm still waiting for an answer.”

“No. I'll never be yours.”

“Fine.” Junmyeon let go of him and he dropped to the floor in surprise. Junmyeon picked up the phone again. “If I can't have him, you definitely can't.”

He threw the phone across the room. It made a crash that had Kyungsoo flinching, before Junmyeon had him by his hair once again and was dragging him across the floor to his bedroom.

“Less likely for people down the hall to hear your screams. Though I can't say the same for the people down on the street. Let's find out, shall we?”

----

Luhan didn't run. Ever. Not for anything or anyone. But the way Kyungsoo had said his name over the phone had him running faster than he ever had in his life.

It was his fault. If it weren't for him, Junmyeon wouldn't be so angry. He'd just be toying with Kyungsoo the way he normally did. This wouldn't be happening. Luhan had betrayed Kyungsoo's trust on something that Kyungsoo hadn't even directly trusted him with.

His lungs were on fire as he entered the building and repeatedly pushed the button for the elevator. There was no one else around. He looked up and noticed that the elevator wasn't moving down, but up, meaning he'd have to wait ages. Taking a deep breath he sprinted towards the stairs, taking them two at a time until he just couldn't anymore. His legs were wobbly from too much use in such a short time but he kept moving until he was standing between his and Kyungsoo's door.

He didn't know which apartment they could be in, until he heard faint sounds coming from Kyungsoo's. He immediately tried the door but it was locked. He could get into Kyungsoo's apartment from his own since Kyungsoo always left his balcony door unlocked but his door was locked too. He was ready to ram his shoulder into Kyungsoo's door when suddenly it opened and a hand shot out and latched onto his throat.

He was pushed back into his own door as he clawed at the hand restricting his already strained breathing.

“I'm guessing that poor Kyungsoo doesn't know that you came to talk to my wife yesterday. Were you ever planning on telling him?”

He could barely make out Junmyeon's face, the hallway light behind his head giving him a halo and dark angel like appearance, making Luhan want to gag, if only he wasn't being choked.

“He's stupid. But he'll figure it out you know.”

Luhan began seeing black spots in his vision. Junmyeon was still talking to him, but his chest was on fire and his head hazy. Junmyeon's words came to his ears as if through ten feet of water. He was drowning. No choking. No being choked. He didn't even know anymore.

Suddenly air was forced back into his lungs and he was on the ground. He watched a pair of blurry boots walk away from him, and despite feeling incredibly faint, he forced himself up and stumbled into Kyungsoo's apartment. He called out for Kyungsoo, but the sound that escaped his throat sounded less like a name and more like a raspy groan. Once in Kyungsoo's bedroom, he saw the balcony door partially open and made his way outside.

He found Kyungsoo crying against the railing and collapsed next to him. He felt Kyungsoo pull him closer and they sobbed into each other's necks until it was pitch black outside, the streets became strangely remote and not even their balcony lights would shed enough light on them to give them enough hope of the sun rising the next morning.

Please don't kill me....

I promise you all won't have to wait a month for the next update!

So I know I'm raising more questions than I'm answering at this point but everything will make sense once the story gets it's normal momentum back.

Anyways it's back to Jongin in the next chapter and all y'all need to know is that the way I've explained Kyungsoo's story here to you isn't the way that Kyungsoo explains it to Jongin (basically meaning that he doesn't tell Jongin anything about Junmyeon except his name).