Jongin hurried back inside, thinking that there really couldn't be any better time to smoke up and relieve stress than now. He grabbed the joint and a lighter from the box and opened the door to his balcony, it led straight out from his bedroom. He was hit with a burst of cold air. He retracted, scowling. The evenings were become chillier as autumn approached. He backtracked and grabbed the first sweater he saw and pulled it over his head.

Stepping out, he realized he didn't have any chairs to sit on but the last tenant had left what looked to be a laundry basket. It looked sturdy enough. He turned it over and settled down on it carefully. With the joint in his mouth he struggled with the lighter in his shaking fingers, swearing quietly every time it failed to light. With a frustrated sigh he gave up, burying his face in his hands.

That's when he heard a door sliding open to his left. His head snapped up towards the sound as he watched a man come out and lean heavily against the railing on the opposite side and then slump down to the floor. His heart began pounding, but he didn't feel scared the way he had before.

Every apartment balcony was on the same platform as the balcony of one other apartment next to it. The two balconies were separated only by one thin railing. It didn't provide much privacy but most of the other balconies in the building had something put up to separate them, obviously done by the tenants. This one, did not.

Jongin noticed the small figures shoulders shaking, the sobs being drowned out by the cars and people on the busy street below, but the longer he watched, an intense hush clouded over the sounds of the evening, leaving only the sobs over a soft static, as if Jongin's brain was intentionally drowning out everything else. The balcony light was glowing, but it wasn't as bright as the one on Jongin's side. He couldn't help but think that it was a cruel commentary on the man's state. Though truthfully Jongin didn't know the man's state for sure. He was pretty certain it couldn't be good if what he had heard before was anything to go by.

Jongin didn't want to intrude on the man's private moment. He didn't know why he had been so affected by what he had been hearing in the past week, and that made him curious. It compelled him—he wanted to gravitate towards the man, maybe somehow comfort him—because Jongin could have only been feeling a tiny fraction from hearing what was happening compared to what this man was feeling going through it. And that made him sick to his stomach.

Jongin didn't want to intrude but he felt a little obligated after being an auditory witness and having done nothing about it.

He stood and walked over to the railing separating the balconies.

“Are you okay?” he asked, his voice just as quiet as the man's crying. His voice must have carried, however, because the man's head turned to face him. His large eyes were wide and confused. He sniffed and wiped the tear tracks on his cheeks as he nodded.

“Are you sure?” The man tilted his head regarding Jongin for second. The angle caught the glow of the bulb above him and Jongin could clearly see a darkened bruise on the man’s cheek. His lip was split but didn't look to be bleeding. The side of his forehead seemed to be swelling, causing his brow to sag a little above his eye. Jongin swallowed the ball of anxiety developing at the back of his throat, making it a little difficult to breathe, as he watched the man pull himself up and walk in his direction, using the railing to keep himself up as he walked, as if he needed it to continue standing.

Jongin didn't step back.

“You're new.” It wasn't a question, but Jongin answered anyway.

“It's my first month.”

The man broke the eye contact, looking ashamed all of a sudden. “I- I'm sorry for all the noise and the trouble. I just—”

“Don't!”

Jongin was just as surprised at himself as the man seemed to be. He looked at Jongin again, eyes widening even more as if that was even possible.

“Don't apologize.”

He didn't know what kind of response he was expecting to get to that, but he didn't get one at all. The man only stared at him, his cut lip trembling slightly. So Jongin raised his joint in silent question. The man looked at it, a small smile forming on his face. Jongin was surprised at the sudden change of mood. But it seemed to spread to him as well.

“Thanks.”

Jongin lit it with no difficulty—which was confusing with the way his hands had been shaking just a minute before—and took two consecutive drags before passing it to the man, who grabbed it tentatively, as if he wasn't sure of the capability of his own fingers. Jongin watched heart shaped lips close around the filter and the tip light up red. He waited until it was passed back to speak again.

“I'm Jongin.”

The man smiled. The bruises on his face made it look sadder than it should have seemed. “Kyungsoo.”

“Kyungsoo,” Jongin repeated, letting the sounds roll out of his mouth before putting the joint to his lips, only to realize that it had gone out. He clicked his tongue in annoyance at having to relight it.

When he finally did, he wasn't careful, inhaling too much too fast and choking on smoke as it burnt its way down his lungs. The taste was acrid in mouth as he coughed. When he finally recovered he noticed Kyungsoo looking at him, amused. He pouted and passed both the joint and the lighter over.

Kyungsoo lit it expertly, his elbows resting on the railing and his brows furrowing as he directed the light to the tip. Jongin was so confused. They passed the joint between them quietly. It hit Jongin after half of it was gone. A little faster and harder than he expected. It had been a while.

“You look young,” Kyungsoo said to him.

Jongin blushed at the unexpected comment. “I'll be 20 in a few months.”

“Hmm… young.”

“Well you aren't- you don't look that old.” He mentally cursed himself for tripping over his words. His mind wasn't fuzzy but he could feel the high in the rest of his body, making him tingly from his ears to his toes. He didn't remember it being like that before.

“I'm not.”

“But you just said—”

“I said you looked young. Never said I looked old.” Kyungsoo watched the look on his face and laughed loudly.

Jongin blinked. He was sooo confused. Not ten minutes ago this man had been crying on the dirty floor of his balcony.  The only evidence of the laugh being even somewhat forced seemed to be his glistening eyes. His eyes looked ready to spill as his face scrunched up in laughter.

Then Jongin remembered something. His eyes went to the glass door of Kyungsoo’s balcony. It was too dark to see anything. Kyungsoo followed his eyes and then looked back to his face.

“No one's home,” he said quietly. Jongin froze at his words. That meant he could have very easily ran into whoever had done this to Kyungsoo in all that time he had been standing in the hallway talking to Sehun. They must have left pretty much right after he'd gone back inside.

Jongin didn't want to think about what could have happened if he had been caught reaching for the door knob. Nothing good could have come out of that.

“You seem worried.”

He met Kyungsoo’s curious expression with conviction.

“Why wouldn't I be? This is all so…” he didn't know what to say. Regarding the man in front of him, he didn't know what someone could possibly gain from hurting him. His soft features were easily decipherable even with bruises and the swelling. There was no denying that he was attractive. But then again that didn't really matter in situations like this. Jongin remembered the way he had laughed earlier and for some reason, in his memory, Kyungsoo seemed to be glowing.

“I don't know what you're thinking right now. You have no reason to believe me on this but, really, I'm fine. Everything is okay the way it is.”

Maybe it was the high, or he just thought Kyungsoo’s words were beyond ridiculous because before he knew it, he was grabbing the man's hand tightly in his own. They were soft and cold. “How can you say that? There is nothing ‘fine’ or ‘okay’ about any of this. I mean, have you seen your face?”

Kyungsoo didn't seem to hear what Jongin was saying. He was staring down at where Jongin's fingers were wrapped around his wrist. Jongin retracted his fingers quickly and mumbled an apology.

He finished off the joint, knowing he couldn't smoke further once taking a drag burnt his lips. He flicked the remaining filter into the corner of his balcony and regarded Kyungsoo curiously as the world slowed around him.

“Is there anything I can do?” He asked. His voice was timid. He didn't want to push the smaller man in any way.

“No.”

“I could call the police or something. I-I don't know.”

Kyungsoo shook his head. “He was— or is—”

He frowned a little, as if he couldn't think of what words to use.

“He's... connected. Especially with the police.”

“There must be something—”

Kyungsoo shook his head again. Jongin couldn't decipher him. He didn't understand at all. He was aggravated, and annoyed, and confused and he just wanted to understand. There had to be a way for this to stop. It couldn't be that Kyungsoo had zero options. Everyone had options. He couldn't even understand what had persuaded him to even reach out to the man in the first place and end up smoking a joint with him.

“You should go.”

“Huh?”

“Go inside. Go to sleep. He's not coming back tonight, so you should sleep fine.” With that he stepped away from the railing and slunk back to where he had been when he first came out. It was clear that he didn't want to talk anymore, so Jongin couldn’t even ask him how he knew about his sleep troubles. The sounds of the street below started up again, as if unmuted, but Kyungsoo’s his sobs sounded out clearly through the night.

Jongin wanted to call him back so badly. Apologize for pushing the subject. This couldn't be easy for him in any way. But eventually he couldn't stand the sound of the crying anymore. He fumbled with the door but managed to slide it open and step through it. After closing it he stumbled to his bed, more falling on it rather than managing to lie down.

More so than sadness or fear, it was confusion that kept him awake for the next few hours. His mind wasn't working right. Or maybe the situation was really just that messed up.

----

Jongin woke up to his phone blaring a familiar tune. He rolled over and grabbed it, turning the alarm off, before rolling back to his side curling up again, ready to go right back to sleep. The morning was as quiet as it could be in a crowded city.

The events of the night before slowly creeped into his conscious thoughts and he groaned. They didn't make any more sense to him now that he was sober.

Kyungsoo. That name rang clear in his mind. Maybe he should go over and see if he needed anything and to apologize for being so nosy and pushy. He couldn't help but feel that if he hadn't been, then maybe the man wouldn't have returned to crying after having seemed to be in a better mood.

Jongin had never felt so wrong, never experienced such turmoil. He wasn't the wisest person around, but he could usually tell what he needed to do to resolve something. But now, he had no clue. If he called the police, it might just become worse. If he did anything confrontational, he doubted it would do anything except make Kyungsoo upset.

A lingering thought at the back of his mind was telling him he had to remember to do something.

Sehun!

Jongin had completely forgotten to text him the time and address. Reached for his phone again and did that immediately.

The reply came fairly quickly.

Took you long enough.

He wondered how it would go. They'd discuss the music, of course. That was the whole point of setting up the meeting. They might get lunch, or a late breakfast, considering it was still quite early and he had told Sehun to come at any time. If he came early, brunch was pretty platonic, right? And then maybe they'd go to the studio down the street. He'd joined it originally to have an extra place to practice when the time slots for the practice rooms on campus were full, which they usually were. They'd work up a sweat and it would be completely as friends… maybe.

Jongin really had no clue what Sehun thought of him. His mind wandered to his breakdown the previous evening and he turned crimson. Even though no one could see him right now, he covered his face with his hands as if it would lessen the embarrassment. It didn't, even though he was alone.

Not that it even mattered. Sehun was his friend. Had been for a year now. But ever since they'd been apart for the summer, both having gone to stay with their families before returning for their second year, he knew he had been acting like it was their first year again and they were still getting to know each other—and Sehun was noticing that, because it really did make Jongin sound like he didn't want to talk, or was distracted.

Jongin had been so confused when Sehun had thought that he wouldn't want to be partners. They hadn't been partners before, because despite being in the same dance major, their classes had been at different times the past year so they had only been able to work together for one group assignment but that had included thirteen other people from all the different classes. Despite that, they had talked about working together again several times since then, even thinking about auditioning together for local competitions and such.

The summer had changed so many things but Jongin didn't know what or why. It wasn't bad, but it created a little bit of awkwardness that he wasn't sure if he was the only one who could feel it or if Sehun could feel it too, but was just better at ignoring it. He was probably just overreacting.

He was confused about a lot of things lately.

Half an hour later—fortunately enough time for Jongin to haul his out of bed to shower and get dressed—Sehun knocked on his door and though he had been walking right by the door when he heard the sound, Jongin still waited a few seconds before answering (just so Sehun wouldn't think he'd been standing there waiting or something).

Sehun smiled brightly at Jongin as he was let in. Jongin didn't know why he could have ever thought something might be wrong between them at the sight of it. He couldn't help but smile back just as brightly.

The music took less than an hour to finalize. They had already had a short list of songs they wanted and they knew which parts they wanted most. Chanyeol had already agreed to help them create a remix medley of sorts and they could still work on the routine in the meantime.

Afterwards, they didn't feel like going out for lunch or even down to the dance studio, so they opted to order in and take the chance to catch up. Saturday had warmed up significantly, reminding the city that it wasn't yet autumn and the sun blazed down harshly, which destroyed all motivation to do anything.

They hadn't sat down together like this since before the summer and never off campus. They were already both so busy in just the second week of the semester and during the day they could mostly only talk about assignments. So now, they talked about home, and their families, the classes that they didn't share. Sehun didn't live on campus either, instead he'd chosen to rent out his uncle's basement.

“It was a lot easier last year,” he told Jongin. “My uncle pretty much stayed out of my way, let me do my own thing. Not that I was doing much in the first place. But he got married over the summer and now just two weeks in and his new wife has got him convinced I'm always up to something.”

“Why would she do that?”

“I honestly don't know, but I can't stay there anymore. I don't know if I'll survive.”

Jongin nodded in understanding. “Well if you're looking to move out, I know this building has empty apartments, and rent is pretty cheap for the smaller ones. I could give you my landlord’s number.”

Sehun pressed his lips together into a thin line. “That's not a bad idea. But I think I'm gonna ask my mom to talk some sense into my uncle first. Maybe talk to him myself. We were pretty close before this so there's really no reason he shouldn't listen to me, right?”

“Right.” That seemed to be the assurance Sehun needed because he blinded Jongin with a smile again.

“What about you? You seemed pretty shaken up yesterday.”

“Oh, um, I'm fine. I guess.”

“Are you sure? Did you ever figure out what happened?”

“Yeah, sort of. I met one of them afterwards.”

Sehun's eyes were wide with surprise. “Really?”

Jongin buried his face in his hands. “I felt so bad. He said he was okay, but… he really wasn't. He couldn't have been with the way he looked.”

Jongin felt a hand on his shoulder and he raised his head to find Sehun's worried face inches from his own. “Do you have any idea how great you are for worrying about your neighbour like that?”

A blush crept onto Jongin's face at the comment, and he looked down to his feet.

“I mean you're a complete stranger to him, right? So many people ignore this kind of thing even with people they know.”

“I just don't know what I can do to help. He asked me not to contact the police because apparently the other guy’s got too many connections there. And I'm like the least confrontational person I know so… I…”

Jongin looked up. Sehun's face was still so close and his hand was still squeezing Jongin’s shoulder. He lost his train of thought.

“Don't worry,” Sehun said, “you’ll figure something out. And I'll help you with anything you need. Have you talked to your landlord?”

“No, he's not usually here most of Saturday I think. So I'll talk to him in the evening.”

Sehun placed one last pat on his shoulder before moving away. “I should leave. I have an essay draft due tomorrow night that I haven't even started yet.”

“Oh,” Jongin said, slightly disappointed as Sehun stood and started clearing up the trash from the pizza they had ordered. Jongin got up as well and did the same. It took them next to no time to have everything put away. Jongin thought it was sweet of Sehun to help.

He opened the door for Sehun as the other was finishing putting on his shoes, but Sehun didn't just walk past him as Jongin expected him to. Instead, Jongin was pulled into a firm hug.

They had hugged before, of course. Jongin couldn't imagine being friends with someone for an entire year and never having hugged them. But most of those hugs had been been brief, or friendly side hugs, or those half handshake half chest bump type hugs that Jongin preferred to do with people he didn't know too well. But this wasn't like those hugs.

This hug assured that Sehun understood Jongin, and that he was grateful to Jongin for understanding him. It told him that no matter how grave or how minor their problems were, they were grateful for each other. And it was long enough for Jongin to be tempted to bury his nose into Sehun's neck, but instead he turned his head the other way and pressed his cheek to Sehun's shoulder. He could feel Sehun's chin rest on his own shoulder, his hands placed on Jongin's back, causing Jongin to put his arms around Sehun as well.

They part after a few seconds. Jongin takes note of how Sehun's hands slip off him, and even though the way they slide down his back and off his waist makes him shiver, he knows how platonic it is. But he doesn't care, he revels in the intimacy they share, even as friends. He won't let his feelings ruin that for him. Whether or not Sehun does or could ever reciprocate those feelings doesn't even bother him at that moment because he's glad for what he already has.

Thank you to everyone who has commented, subscribed or read this story in general!

Let me know what you think of the new chapter!

P.S. Next update may take a few days because I'm pretty much working every day this week but it will definitely be before or on Thursday :)