my lids flew open, revealing both namjoon and seokjin looking down on me in worry. my brother must've been caressing my hair as i feel a hand on my head, seeing their frown slowly disappear at the sight of my conscious state.

"j-jungkook..." i heard seokjin mutter, his eyes a little bit watery as he stopped caressing my hair and reached to cup my palms in his hand. "how are you feeling?" he asks, hopeful and enlightened to see me now awake.

upon hearing this, i first realised how dry my throat is, causing me to cough for a brief moment. "i'm...thirsty." i tell them. and as quick as lightning, namjoon was already half way pouring water into a glass.

"here drink this," i heard namjoon say, my eyes snapping from seokjin to the glass of water in namjoon's hand. they helped me sit up, making me slightly flinch at the pain on my abdomen.

"other than your abdomen, do you feel any pain somewhere?" namjoon asks, worry laced in his voice as he tilts his head to the side.

and at the mention of pain, my mind immediately wandered to the what happened— or was it a dream? i frowned. "where's jimin, hyung?" i asked, hoping it wasn't just one of those crazy dreams. but it felt so real. it couldn't possibly be just a dream.

"jimin?" seokjin looked taken aback, frowning as he opens his mouth to speak once more when a voice beat him to it.

"i'm here," that all to familiar voice spoke. we all turned to the voice, earning mixed reactions as seokjin gasped while namjoon stayed calm like he knows something like would happen.

i, on the other hand, remained emotionless. i didn't know how to feel. should i be mad at him for leaving me and making a fool of myself. should i punch him for making me lose my mind, trying to find him— castrate him for being an . because he pretty much deserve all of it. he broke my heart in half, left without a single word, not even a goodbye.

or hug him and kiss him because no matter what i do, i'd always be deeply, madly and greatly in love with him– that how hard he pains me, i will always choose the misery of loving him rather than the joy of losing him.

and there he was, standing by the door in all his glory. his eyes full of blues as he stares directly at me, his face sad and crestfallen at the sight of me. he looked away, and i'm sure he was preventing his teas to slip away. he had always hated crying in front of anybody, most specially in front of me.

"j-jimin," it was seokjin, his voice barely audible as he stared at the said man like he just saw a ghost. disbelief written in very eyes. i couldn't blame him though. i also couldn't believe it myself.

after months of searching for him, he was hiding in a hospital all along. but a certain possibility crossed my mind. out of all places, why the hospital? he's even wearing a hospital gown, making him look much more like a patient.

and that did it.

tears hungrily cascaded down my eyes, no longer able to withhold the pain residing in my chest as the many possibilities flooded my mind. i could see namjoon from my peripheral vision as he moves to sling an arm around my brother, whispered something in his ear that i didn't quite get before i felt him pat me on the back and excused themselves to give the both of us privacy to talk.

i kept my eyes on my hands even when i heard the door closed and when i felt the side of my bed dipped, and when i felt his soft and delicate hands cupping my cheeks.

his touch felt right. no matter how pain he've caused, i still find his touch utterly comforting, closing my eyes as i leaned in to his touch, wanting nothing but to curl into him and snuck my head deep into his neck and inhale his intoxicating vanilla scent.

"kookie," he called, his magnificent voice lulling me as i felt him pull me closer to his chest. my whimpers became louder and louder as i sobbed in his chest, missing the warmth he once had brought me before all s broke loose.

"h-hyung," i croaked, my voice breaking as finally, i found the courage to snake my hands to his waist and pull him close, ignoring the piercing pain on my abdomen. i just want him close.

"y-you're dying..." i stated. "is that it?" i pulled away to meet his eyes. his eyes were wide as if he didn't thought i'd day those words so directly.

he shook his head. "n-no, kookie. no." he immediately interjects, reaching to pull me back. "i'm not going anywhere— not anymore, baby." he whispers.

"t-then ing why, hyung?!" i found myself wailing, pushing his hand away from me as started throwing weak punches towards him. my heart hurt. it feels like shattering into pieces. "why'd you leave me, hyung? i thought i was special— we were best frie