Junhyung's POV

i am waiting for the rest of the members.
The weather is chilling cold today. I glanced at my clock.
Its 6.45am. the boys should be arrivng any minute from now.
after we came back from japan, we were asked to come down for a meeting at cube ent the next day.
without hyunseung. 
I hadnt spoke anything to him eversince the day he told us he already make his decision,
in black & white.
why does he have to do that? didnt we agreed as a group that we would wait for him to come back.
he can take all the time he want. we had that conversation on our chat log months ago.
and now he purposelly left our whats app group, what is wrong with this dude man.

the meeting with our manager then was solemn. the president told us what hyunseung had already told us.
i still couldnt believe it. this all feels surreal.
"we had to let him go. there's no better agreement than this. i need all five of you to regroup.
we still have to do our comeback as per schedule. the news will be out this tuesday. until the 19th, 
you are all free to do what you want. after that, we are going back to business. am i clear?
"yes sajangnim - our leader replied,
"one more thing, i need all of you to stay silent for now. no mention of hyunseung or any of that matter
in any of your social media accounts. 
i looked at doojoon. if he was suprised, he was good at hiding it.
our president stand up from his seat. 
"and from today, i will need all of you to minimize all contacts you have with hyunseung. 
no meet ups, no ...
"but sajangnim, isnt this taking it too far ...... - yoseob added
"Yang yoseob, this is an order. this is better for the image of B2st and also hyunseung. 
No meet ups outside. Understand? 

none of us answered.

we walked out of the office after we were dismissed. ive never felt this lost in a long time.
Doojoon halt infront of me, i almost bumped into him.
"Boys, we will stay quiet for now. 
he looked at all of us in the eye.
he looked hardly at yoseob, "right now we dont know what is best or worst for us, for hyunseung & for our fans
"and for our company - yoseob muttered.
"im going off. anything just call me up - gikwang walked away.
"me too. i am hungry, you coming? - yoseob looked at the three of us.
i havent had breakfast since morning. its now 12pm.
"me too hyung. - dongwoon 
"ill pass - doojoon.
"me too. i said.

after they went off, i was walking with doojoon towards the lift.
"have you talk to him? - he asked
"no. he must be doing fine. 
"he should be. are you heading home?
"not yet. 
the lift opened.
"ah doojoon, i think you go first. i need to go to the recording room. 
he nodded and the lift door closed.

i walked towards the recording room.
i dialed hyunseung's number. it went to voicemail.
i leave him a text, asking him to return my call.

we played a game of chance to determine where should we sleep.
after we debuted, we moved to a slightly bigger dorm.
these time round, the dorm had bunk beds.
the game resulted in yoseob, doojoon and dongwoon sleep on top,
while gikwang, me & hyunseung will sleep on the bed below respectively.
In the early Beast years, gikwang rarely sleeps on his bed. he had so many schedules,
which also helps us getting known to the public. and when he finally sleeps on hs bed,
he will immediately doze of once he put his head to the pillow.
hyunseung on the other hand, turn talkative before he sleeps.
i dont mind it, cause it helps me to wind down too.
we had so many talks, till sometimes doojoon had to throw pillows to us cause we're too loud.

i remember that day we had schedules after schedules.
Gikwang had  an overnight shoot so he's not around. 
Dongwoon has school the next day, so he went back home as his place is nearer to his school.
Yoseob & Doojoon already passed out since an hour ago.
Its 10pm. i was winding down by playing games on my phone. 
Hyunseung had his back facing me, so i thought he was asleep too.
"yah, you asleep - something touched my shoulder blade
i took out my earpiece, "not yet. why
"was i too quiet during the interview just now? do i seem rude? tell me the truth
"you answered when it was your turn, so i dont think you're rude
"maybe what yg sajangnim said then its the truth. maybe i really do lack the whole package to become an idol
"i guess, i mean, it is who you are anyway. besides the rest of the members compensate by being who they are. so its a win-win situation.
you got to be you, and they got to be them?
"maybe im better off being a dance instructor, 
"with that voice? hyunseung ah, its not just the members compensate you,
you compensate me with your voice, we are singers, and i would love to be able to sing like you.
"and you compensate us with that charismatic rap - hyunseung smirked.
he gets my point now. "exactly. (i raise my hand for a fist bump, he responded)
we all make beast, better. so now can i go to sleep? 
he showed me a thumbs up sign.
I was about to doze off in dreamland, 
"you know just because im older by just a few months, you still need to respect me as a hyung right
i chuckled. "yes yes. hyunseung laughed.

something is wrong. i couldnt get the vibe that id envisioned.
we were in the other side of the room, behind the glass screen, singing.
hyunseung stopped singing.
"how was it? i sang it lower than i did before.
"something is off.
"the pitch? the arrangement? you got to talk to me junhyung ah
i looked up. hyunseung looks frustrated even from afar.
he has been singing the same verse over & over again. 
i cant seem to point out what is missing. i am getting agitated myself.
"take 5.
hyunseung came out from the room.
he sat beside me.
"this is stressing us out. we wont get anything done if we continue like this.
"you are okay with me & hyuna doing this together right?
two weeks ago, hyunseung asked for my help in producing a title song for his duo with hyuna.
"yah, ofcourse, this has nothing got to with it man. i wouldnt have agree to do this with you
if i have a problem with it in the first place right? besides.....
"its cool if you're cool, im just saying.
"look, i am okay, i was okay. atleast i thought  i was.
i put the documents im holding on the table, put it aside, and sit on the table,facing hyunseung
all of beast members know we had a thing, hyuna and i, or atleast i had a crush on her 
when we worked together for Change. But we, Beast were doing so good, and likewise
4minute, the group hyuna's in, was doing so well. Both of us get so buzy with our own thing that 
the chemistry between us died down and to make things worse, it actually gets awkward even.
Id never confessed to her then and likewise she too didnt. 
for all i know she might regard me as an oppa, as a colleague, not more not less. so now we arent exactly friends nor are we enemies.

"junhyung ah, if you cant do it, its okay. i can ask shinsadong hyung to help. not that i dont trust you would be able to do it, i just dont want to put you in a difficult situation.

"okay, listen, im going down to buy some snacks, we can just drop this. its up to you. 
-hyunseung smiled while walking towards the door.
i decided i couldnt do it. on a musical level, i believe what i produce will have a beast feel to it,
but since this is a duet between hyunseung & hyuna, they will need to bring a song that depicts them. 
on a personal level, i dont think i can get much done if i took on this.
the door opened, hyunseung came in with plastic bags full of snacks.
he put the bags on the table, "so?
"im sorry i wont be able to help you hyunseung ah
"ouch, that . - he looked at me with wandering eyes
"yah, what are you thinking?
he slowly brings out two cans of beer from inside his jacket.
"lets drink to this! - he whispers in excitement.
we werent allowed to bring any beers inside this building. 
we cheers and drank.
"we need a name for our duo junhyung ah. what do you think?
i took the last sip of my drink
"troublemaker.
"woah, thats cool. thats ...
"perfect. troublemaker.
we looked at each other and laughed.

cause the other person who bring beer in other than hyunseung, was hyuna.

my phone buzzed in the pocket. it is still cold out here.
the news is out, to the whole wide world. 
"hyung - dongwoon patted my back. 
i turned around, all 4 pair of eyes looking at me. 
suddenly i dont feel so broken anymore, to the media, we might lose one member,
but now this moment, we are going to chill like the old time at hyunseung's.

he better have beers ready.