Dongwoon's POV

The six of us are all close in age, doojoon, hyunseung & junhyung,
they are all of the same age, gikwang & yoseob are a year younger than them, 
and i am a year younger than the latter, so there were no apparent among us.
Being the maknae in Beast doesnt mean so much between us, the hyungs all treat me equally.
Despite that, all of them took care of me in their own way.

Doojoon and Junhyung hyung are rather brusque with their action.
They are the kind who would asked me to buy them food when i am on my way to dorm.
Because i rarely go outside to play, they thing that im wasting my youth away.
so Doojoon would drag me to play table tennis with his friends once in a while, 
& junhyung would have asked me to accompany him shopping just because.

Yoseob hyung have a very big heart. but that doesnt mean that he's easy to step on.
Out of all the hyungs, he will always be the one speaking up if he needs to. 
He has the ability to word his sentences carefully to deliver his point accross without hurting the other
party's feelings. I usally will go to yoseob hyung if i need a life boost. Times like right now.

I am the closest to Gikwang hyung. Partly because we are the closest in age, and also because
we've been trainess together in JYP before we signed on with Cube ent. 
When Gikwang had his solo debut with AJ and then he was invited to do the opening of
 Lady gaga Korean concert,  i was so elated for him because i know how he works hard through everything. 

Hyunseung hyung took care of me, like how a mom would. 

He would checked on me if i have eaten. and if i havent, he wouldve make sure i did.
He would always remind me to not forget to check on my parents. 
If Doojoon hyung would hit me playfully (it hurts, mind you) when its funny, hyunseung hyung will 
held my hand, look at me and laugh together.
If Gikwang hyung had to go on a diet and i cant buy meat when we eat together, hyunseung hyung
will let me have my meat, and he will have his meal.

He too always encourages me to keep in contact with my high shool friends so that i wont be missing
out on the outside world too much. He cares about all the friendship he had made which is evident to how he is
still friends with Big Bang hyungnims until today. 
He cherished every friendship he'd made dearly because he himself knows he dont open up to anyone,
easily.

We were rehearsing for a special duet for one of our many beautiful show concert for our beloved beauties.

I brought up the crazy idea for us to dance to troublemaker.
I still remember how hyunseung look aghast for one second than burst out laughing hysterically while
holding his stomach. 
"Are you for real dongwoon ah? - he still has his hands on his stomach
"yes hyung. it would be fun. something different. the fans will love it hyung.
i can already imagine the fans reaction. and the rest of hyungs.
"you will be hyuna then
"ofcourse hyung - i pouted my mouth.
He looks at me, patted my head, "ill ask hyuna to come by. we can practice together.

After we told the coordinator that we would like to add this performance to the list.
we began practicing. Hyuna came by now and then to help me do her parts.
everytime i aced her moves, she scowled and looked at me in disbelief
"you are amazing dongwoon ah. hahahahaha.

Everytime hyuna & the backdancers came to help us practice, the room is always full of laughters.
Hyunseung hyung were very attentive to them, we were all tired by the end of the day,
but he will make it a point, everyday after practicing, all of us will eat together. 
he will treat us all to ramen, ddukbokki, kimchi jiggae,  chicken, 
whatever we want, he will buy it for us.The dancers, staffs all love him.
Everywhere he goes, despite of his shy exterior, he is always the moodmaker.
he once told me that his motto in life is, to work hard, and play harder.

So imagine how vast the changes are when it happend.

The day we were informed that his father passed away, we werent together.
I remember manager hyungnim picked me up from school. 
The rest of the members are also on their way to hyunseung's house.
the moment i reached, i saw how he was leaning on the wall. his hair was unkept.
he had black rimmed glasses on, he had his eyes closed.
"hyung 
he opened his eyes. he looked at me. 
"you just arrived? - his eyes vacantly stare at me.
"yes hyung. - i wanted to give him a hug when,
"oppa, the funeral staffs want to talk to us, regarding.....
"sure geurim ah. (he looks at me) we will talk later ya
"sure hyung. stay strong hyung. call me if you need any help (i held geurim's hand) you too. 

A week passed and hyunseung hyung was given a time away from any idol activites to do what he has to do.
Our whats app group has been rather active since then, the hyungs are all concern.
Junhyung hyung even went down to hyunseung hyung's place twice this week. 
Hyunseung hyung told us that he'll be coming back to the studio after a week, 
"take a month off hyunseung ah, the president already approved of it - our leader wrote.
5 mins later.
"im okay guys. life has to go on. i might need to move out of the dorm to stay with my mum & geurim
ill see you guys in a week.

The air was different when he's back.
i know he tried to be upbeat, but we've all been friends, we know he's hurting.
Junhyung hyung and yoseob hyung tried to reach out to him, but he repeatedly told them he's fine.
Everyone will loses someone they love eventually, its not the end of the world, he said.

Without realizing, he was drifitng away slowly from us. 
the more we hold on to him, the more he pushed us away.
and right now, with the news of him leaving the group, is devastating.

"we've reached dongwoon ah - my dad said
"thanks for giving me a lift appa
"here, (he took the plastic bags from the back seat) bring this up. hyunseungie love your mums soft tofu stew.
chin up dongwoon ah.
i took the bags, and was about to close the car door
"all six of you are good kids. you need to understand that visions change as we grow older.
it is not the end of the world. your friendship didnt have to end here right - 
i just nodded my head and went off.

Hyunseung hyung, you must have been in more pain while making this decision right.