Chapter 4

-

“You’ll find that all human beings are just like you, so you’ll be able to relate to them more easily.”

Yoojung had initially thought she heard wrong, her mind playing games on her - but with the way Doyeon’s face seemed to drain of color, she knew that Doyeon had spoken. She tried not to make a big deal out of it, seeing as Doyeon was already panicking. She gulped and lowered her hand that was reaching out for the swab of paper, letting out a small smile.

“Fine, you can do it.” She said, holding out her injured hand. Doyeon was shaking as she took hold of Yoojung’s wrist, carefully eyeing the cut with nervous eyes. Yoojung’s skin was cold to the touch, soft and smooth. Doyeon didn’t hold on to her too tight - barely touching her, really. Yoojung eyed the black haired girl with interested eyes, gaze flickering up and down her face.

As much as Yoojung would like to think of Doyeon’s one-worded response as a sign of her to get closer to Doyeon, she knew that it was just a spur of the moment and that Doyeon would just go back to being silent as always.

A sharp pain spread throughout her hand as Doyeon dabbed the disinfectant onto her cut. Yoojung hissed and Doyeon pulled away, eyes widening. Yoojung shook her head.

“It’s okay. It hurts but we have to do this.” She gave a reassuring smile. “Besides, it was my fault for trying to approach the horse.”

Doyeon nodded and continued to wipe the cut. Once they were done, Doyeon helped Yoojung patch up her hand with bandages and they headed out to the dining room where the Kim couple was already seated. Yoojung hid her right hand in her lap, holding her food utensils with her left.

Nobody seemed to notice Yoojung’s struggle besides Doyeon, who would glance at her every now and then.

“So, I’ve heard from Mrs. Choi that Doyeon went to the stables with Yoojung?” Mrs. Kim raised an eyebrow towards Doyeon and Yoojung. Yoojung spoke up, nodding.

“Yes.” She answered. “Don’t worry, though. She didn’t get dirty or anything. I just wanted some company whilst I was feeding the horses.” She said before turning her attention to her father. “The new horse won’t eat.” She told him. He hummed.

“I’ll check up on him.”

Doyeon’s eyes flickered down to Yoojung’s bandaged hand.

“Okay.” Yoojung smiled. The Kim couple had their eyes on Doyeon the entire time, pupils filled with worry. They knew their daughter didn’t do well with one-on-one interactions but they were surprised to see that Doyeon was fine. If anything had happened, she would have already ran home. Mrs. Kim shot a look to Mr. Kim who just shrugged.

Their own daughter was a mystery to them.

-

And just like that, Doyeon’s one word slip had been a moment of the past. Yoojung still didn’t try to urge words out of Doyeon, still being patient. Doyeon, on the other hand, was more cautious than ever. The response was something she had done unconsciously - and she never did anything without thinking it over. There was definitely something about Choi Yoojung, but Doyeon couldn’t quite put her finger on it.

If it had been anyone else, Doyeon knew the person would never stop bringing up her one word response - they would automatically assume Doyeon would magically begin to start full-on conversations with them when in reality, Doyeon would just go to hide even further inside her metaphorical turtle shell.

Yoojung didn’t quite understand Doyeon, but Doyeon knew that Yoojung understood her just enough to not make her completely uncomfortable. Doyeon appreciated that. Besides her parents, there weren’t many people she were fond of. The Choi family all seemed nice, in fact, a lot of people seem nice - but Doyeon just wasn’t… good at socializing.

As much as she liked the Choi couple, they always tried to pry her open with imaginary crowbars, trying to get words out of her. Doyeon tried to talk, she really did, but would always feel like it were closing up and her tongue would run dry. Her parents would have to come to her rescue, answering the question for her. They just didn’t seem to get a hint that Doyeon could not talk.

But Yoojung got the hint, and that was all Doyeon could ever ask for. The odd thing was, despite not being burdened by Yoojung, Doyeon herself felt a weight on her shoulders for not being burdened. Yoojung wasn’t expecting anything from Doyeon, but Doyeon wanted her to expect something - she wasn’t used to this. This being the amount of patience Yoojung gave to her.

-

“Woah, what happened to your hand?” Jieqiong asked with wide eyes as Yoojung attempted to hold her pencil.

“A horse bit it.” Yoojung grumbled, squinting to look at the notes on the board. Jieqiong eyed the bandages on her hand, giving a skeptical look to the younger one.

“Did you bandage it yourself?”

Doyeon tuned into the conversation, her pencil’s movement halting as she froze. Yoojung understood it wasn’t fair to suddenly throw Doyeon into the conversation so she just rolled her eyes.

“No, Jieqiong. You know how y I am with my left hand. My dad did it for me.” She said, mentally apologizing to Jieqiong for her lie. Jieqiong hummed.

“I’m glad you’re alright, though. Horses can do us a lot of damage without doing much. I always tell you to be careful, don’t I?” Jieqiong reached out and lightly punched Yoojung’s shoulder. The brunette smiled and turned her head to her friend.

“Thank you, Mother Jieqiong.” She joked. It was Jieqiong’s turn to roll her eyes. Doyeon continued to write her notes, thanking Yoojung for the cover up in her head. Yoojung giggled and they returned to silence as their teacher continued to talk up front.

Doyeon caught sight of Yoojung giving up on note taking as her writing hand was still injured.

Without saying anything else, Doyeon pulled out another piece of paper and began to copy her notes a second time.

-

As Doyeon and Yoojung were walking home, Yoojung saw Doyeon stop walking. This made her stop, too. She watched as the taller girl opened her bag and pulled out a folder, taking out a piece of paper and holding it in between her lips as she put the folder back into the bag. Doyeon then took the piece of paper from her lips and held it out to Yoojung anxiously.

Having this be Doyeon’s first initiation for interaction with Yoojung, the smaller girl was slightly surprised.

“What’s this?” She asked, taking the paper. She scanned over the sheet and widened her eyes when she realized it was the notes from today’s class that she couldn’t write. “You didn’t have to.” She murmured, heart swelling up. “But, thank you. Thank you so much.” She looked up at Doyeon who was staring at her feet and biting her lower lip.

“I’d hug you but I’m not sure you’d like that, so…” Yoojung held up her good hand, waiting for Doyeon’s hand to reach hers. There was a moment of silence and Yoojung was about to lower her hand until Doyeon looked up through her eyelashes, giving a small smile and gently slapping her hand against Yoojung’s in a high-five. Yoojung couldn’t keep her giggle in and Doyeon’s cheeks turned red at the sound.

-

Doyeon joined Yoojung again at the stables, this time standing next to the girl who fed the horses.

“Would you like to feed them?” Yoojung asked the taller girl, raising her eyebrows. Doyeon shook her head immediately, taking a small step back. Yoojung rubbed the white horse’s ear and hummed. “Okay. Haru’s really nice, though.”

Doyeon swallowed the lump in before shakily tugging on Yoojung’s flannel shirt, meeting the girl’s eyes anxiously. Yoojung grinned and took Doyeon’s hand, placing some hay in it. “Here, hold your hand out flat.” Yoojung instructed with her left hand, her right hand just underneath Doyeon’s hand, guiding her closer. Doyeon blushed as Yoojung tugged her closer, her mind screaming for her to run away.

But she didn’t want to run away.

“See? She’s nice.” Yoojung whispered as Haru’s nose sniffed Doyeon’s hand before gently taking the hay from her hand. Doyeon’s lips curved up at the ticklish sensation given to her palm, almost pulling her hand back had it not been for Yoojung’s hand holding her’s in place. “One day, if you want, I’ll teach you how to ride.”

Doyeon widened her eyes, staring down at the brunette, who just smiled at her. They were rather close, Yoojung’s right shoulder in front of Doyeon’s left and their bodies touching. If it were anybody else, Doyeon was positive she would’ve back off already - but something about Yoojung didn’t make her back off. Something about Yoojung did the exact opposite.

Something about Yoojung attracted her.

-

“I’m sixteen, born on November 12th.” Yoojung said suddenly as the two of them walked home from school. Jieqiong had just left to go to the path to her house, leaving the two alone. Doyeon glanced at her. Yoojung tightened her ponytail. “Am I older than you?”

The taller girl gave a short nod and Yoojung smiled, responding with silence. It had been a couple of months since Doyeon’s family moved in. By now, Yoojung and Doyeon had a daily routine set up. She would meet up with Yoojung at the barn, watch Yoojung feed the horses, and then they’d walk to school together. After school, she, Yoojung, and Jieqiong would all walk home together. Sometimes Jieqiong would walk all the way home with Yoojung and Doyeon, but the majority of the time she’d leave to go on her own path to her house. That left Yoojung and Doyeon alone. They’d usually go to the barn together but sometimes Doyeon would go home if she felt too overwhelmed by school.

The first time she had walked up the path to her house, changing their daily routine, Yoojung stopped walking and watched her disappear behind the front door. It was the first time she had felt dejected because of the girl. It didn’t happen often, though. When Doyeon did come with Yoojung to the barn, she’d help feed the horses (Only with Yoojung’s help, of course).

Yoojung tossed her bag onto her bed and went to her closet. “Don’t look.” She called over her shoulder as Doyeon turned around, gently setting her bag next to Yoojung’s. She tuned out the sound of Yoojung’s skirt hitting the floor and the vest ruffling against her arms. “Done.” Yoojung announced, fixing her messy hair.

It was warmer than usual as they walked outside, a clear sign that Summer was rapidly approaching - despite the fact that it was always warm where they were. Yoojung turned to Doyeon as they fed Haru together. “Do you want to learn how to ride a horse today?”

Doyeon froze. Yoojung felt the girl tense up. She placed a hand on Doyeon’s back, feeling her stiffen up even more. She didn’t remove her hand, though. Doyeon’s brain was on overdrive, telling her to push Yoojung away and to run back home. But when she felt Yoojung gently rub her back, she felt her limbs relaxing under her touch - something she had never done with anybody ever. “It’s fine. I was just asking. You could say no… or, just shake your head, or something.” She smiled lopsidedly.

The tan girl let out a sigh, focusing her attention back onto the horse who was still munching on the hay in her hand. Yoojung kept her hand on Doyeon’s back and they stayed like that until Yoojung took Haru out for a ride. Doyeon stayed back at the barn as she watched Yoojung ride, admiring the girl’s natural beauty.

When Yoojung came back to the barn with Haru, she gave a grin to Doyeon. She carefully got off of Haru and put her back into the stables, unstrapping the helmet on her head. Yoojung placed the helmet to the side and ran a hand through her hair. “Are you having dinner at my house?”

Doyeon shook her head, trying hard to not make it obvious she was gawking at the girl’s attractiveness. Yoojung made a face. “Ah, that’s right. Your parents are out for the weekend.” She said, remembering what the Kim couple had told them at dinner the night before. The two exited the barn, walking on the large field. “You can always come over my house, you know? If it’s too lonely.” Yoojung suggested.

The taller one shook her head softly, rejecting the offer. Yoojung hummed. “Well, at least have dinner with us? I promise I won’t let my parents try to interrogate you. Besides, Jieqiong will be there. They’ll be more interested in her.” She grinned with hope in her eyes. Doyeon felt weak at Yoojung’s smile, allowing a nod to come from her.

“Good.” Yoojung’s smile widened.

-

Doyeon’s eyes snapped open, her breath heavy. She stared up into the darkness, blinking repeatedly to make sure she was awake - fully awake. She threw the blankets off of her, feeling trapped. Her eyes flickered around the dark room, the dim moonlight shining through her windows allowing her limited lighting. She was trembling, her brain alert and racing.

She wasn’t thinking when she slipped on her sweater and shoes, rushing out the back porch. She found herself at the barn, out of breath. She had ran, wanting to get as far away from her bedroom as possible while still feeling safe. She wasn’t expecting to see Yoojung standing just a few meters away from her.

“Doyeon?” A groggy voice came out. Doyeon nearly broke down right then and there, a sudden relief washing over her. Yoojung came closer, seeing the girl’s panicked expression. “Are you alright?” Her hand reached up to rest on Doyeon’s cheek but Doyeon smacked it away.

Doyeon smacked it away only to pull Yoojung into a tight embrace, needing the comfort the girl always seemed to give to her. Yoojung widened her eyes and wasn’t responsive for only a second before her arms quickly wrapped around the taller girl’s waist, reciprocating the hug. She could feel the girl shaking without a single sound escaping from her lips. No whimper. No cries. Nothing.

Yoojung felt Doyeon’s hands tighten, as if she were afraid the older girl would disappear into thin air. “Did something happen?”

Yoojung’s question was left unanswered as she felt Doyeon’s head drop down onto her shoulder, the girl’s warm breath hitting her neck in a shakily slow rhythm. Yoojung allowed one hand of hers to come up and rest on the back of Doyeon’s head, patting it softly.

When Doyeon was no longer trembling, Yoojung began to take a step back, only for Doyeon to pull her closer, body against body once more. Yoojung squeezed Doyeon’s waist gently. “I’m here, Doyeon. I’m right here.” She whispered assuringly, trying to take a step back once more to look at the girl in the face. She was surprised to see tears running down Doyeon’s face. She had not one clue the girl had been crying. She hadn’t been making any noise.

Her thumbs came up to wipe away the tears. “I won’t ask you why you’re crying - you probably won’t answer me, anyways - but I want you to know that I’ll be here for you as much as I can, okay?” Yoojung stared deeply into the girl’s eyes, hands cupping her cheek. She was still amazed at how silently Doyeon could cry. The ability to cry without making a single noise wasn’t just something you learned overnight.

“Would you like to sleep over at my house tonight?” Yoojung asked quietly as Doyeon’s tears came to a slow stop. At the question, the younger girl went to pull away and Yoojung let her, staring at her without a word. Doyeon couldn’t believe she had just done any of that.

How could she? Why had she?

Her feet began to move on their own, desperate to get out of the barn, away from Yoojung. “You don’t have to talk to me.” Yoojung said. Doyeon stopped walking.

She could hear the strain in Yoojung’s voice. “At least,” She whispered. Doyeon her heel to look at the older girl. “At least just let me help you in the little way I can.” Yoojung said, eyes boring into Doyeon’s. “Come over, yeah?”

-

Doyeon sat on the edge of Yoojung’s bed, her eyes closed as the girl changed just a few steps in front of her. They had successfully snuck up to Yoojung’s bedroom without waking any of her family members, tiptoeing the entire time. “Done.” Came Yoojung’s soft voice. Doyeon opened her eyes and saw Yoojung walking closer to her with an extra blanket in her arms.

“I’ll take the floor.” Yoojung smiled, reaching past Doyeon to grab a pillow. As Yoojung went to move back, she was stopped by Doyeon, who placed a hand on her shoulder. They were face to face as Doyeon blinked, her hand moving downwards to grab onto Yoojung’s wrist, pulling her towards the bed.

Yoojung shook her head, letting a soft, airy laugh escape her lips. “Doyeon, I don’t sleep well with other people.” She whispered. “I sprawl all over the bed.” Doyeon kept tugging on her wrist. “And I hug things.” Yoojung’s face was rather close to Doyeon’s, a tiny grin on her lips.

“I’ve slept in the barn before, Doyeon. Sleeping on the floor won’t hurt me.” She said with an air of playfulness. Noticing Doyeon’s furrowed eyebrows, Yoojung placed the stuff in her arms down and reached up, her thumbs running over the girl’s eyebrows, successfully unknitting them. “I just don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.” She spoke honestly, her small smile still on her lips.

Doyeon’s heart fluttered at the statement, her eyes drifting off to look at the door instead of Yoojung’s painfully sincere eyes. Her grip remained on Yoojung’s wrist, heartbeat thumping loudly in her eardrums. Yoojung sighed. “Fine. But, if I make you uncomfortable with my hugging in any way, wake me up, okay?”

Doyeon nodded and Yoojung crawled onto the bed, getting underneath the covers. Her collarbones were protruding rather attractively as she laid down, her tanktop not covering much. Noticing Doyeon was still in her sweater, Yoojung laid on her side and stared at the girl who was still sat on the edge of her bed.

“It’s going to get really hot if you wear that.” Yoojung pointed out. Doyeon looked down at her sweater and stood up, looking over her shoulder. Yoojung turned her body. “I’m not looking.” She said. Doyeon’s heart did another flip as she heard Yoojung’s soft voice, her hands pulling her sweater off of her. Doyeon then got under the covers next to Yoojung. She went rigid as she felt her legs graze against Yoojung’s.

Yoojung pulled her legs away from Doyeon’s, laying on her back. “Doyeon, if you can’t deal with our legs touching, you’re definitely not going to be able to deal with anything else I might do in my unconscious state.” She laughed and turned her head to look over at the younger girl. “Still want me to sleep on the bed with you?”

Doyeon gave a nod.

“Okay.”

A couple of minutes passed by before Yoojung looked over at Doyeon once more, finding the girl still awake. They had just been staring at the ceiling, both deep in thoughts and thoughtless at the same time.

“You’re not sleepy at all, are you?” Yoojung questioned with a smile. Doyeon shook her head.

“Me neither.” Yoojung hummed, turning her gaze back to the dark ceiling. “You must be curious, huh?”

Doyeon directed her eyes to Yoojung, confusion dribbled between the wrinkles of her forehead.

“About why I was out at the barn so late at night.” Yoojung clarified, eyes trained on the darkness up above. Yoojung felt the bed dip slightly and heard the ruffles of Doyeon’s clothes as the girl rotated her body to face Yoojung.

Yoojung figured it was best to stay in the position she was already in, not wanting to get too close to Doyeon in fear of the girl getting scared.

“After you left, I got some news from my parents and from Jieqiong.”

Doyeon listened, eyes scanning Yoojung’s side profile.

“My old friend’s coming back.” Yoojung sighed after she said it. “We didn’t…” She trailed off, trying to find the right words to explain it. “We weren’t at the best of terms when she left. It’s been years, but I don’t think time has done us any good.”

The way Yoojung talked about this friend made Doyeon think the friend wasn’t just a friend.

“Should I be happy?” Yoojung finally turned her head to look at Doyeon, her eyes showing complete and utter vulnerability. Doyeon was rendered speechless - even though she didn’t speak. Her breath caught in at the raw look in Yoojung’s eyes, something she had never seen from the girl who always seemed to be happy around her. She looked so broken and confused.

It disappeared the moment Doyeon had registered it.

The girl looked away and let out a small laugh. It sounded anything but cheerful. “Sorry. Ignore me.” She murmured, exhaling deeply. Doyeon let her left hand rise and rest on the girl’s hip. Yoojung tried to remain calm, knowing that if she were to show a surprised expression then Doyeon would pull away at the speed of light. Instead, she basked in Doyeon’s warm hand on the exposed skin due to her risen tank top.

Yoojung closed her eyes, feeling Doyeon’s dark eyes heating up the left side of her face.

“You’re both so different.” Yoojung mumbled quietly. “You’re silent and she’s not. You don’t talk at all and she talks all the time.” Doyeon frowned at the comparison, fingers curling around Yoojung’s waist.

The smaller girl just let out another sigh.

‘And yet, I’m attracted to both of you.’