Angyeong~! 

Okay guys so i'm thinking of a way to wrap this all nicely because i have other stories that i can't wait to introduce to you all. Don't worry the next one won't be as angsty as this one. Once again thank you for reading and commenting, i'll try to make it a nice ending for everyone and don't worry Seulrene will happen eventually.....heh stay tune~~~ :) 

Enjoy reading and until then, stay fab y'all 

Chapter 9 - Can't it be me? 

Seulgi waited by the car as much as she wanted to run away. Deep down she knew something like this would happen but she didn't want to acknowledge it. She refused the idea although Irene had told her from time to time. Everyone knew Moonbyul had a thing for Solar, both groups went out with each other numerous time and it was evident that there was something going on between the two of them. When Seulgi proposed the idea of going out with Moonbyul, she was a bit skeptical as to how easily the rapper would agree.

Furthermore when Moonbyul told her she could keep the sweater she thought, her assumptions were just base on what her other members had said. Seeing what she saw earlier, it made Seulgi question everything. Did Moonbyul went to her so that she could get rid of whatever feelings she had for Solar? Did Moonbyul agree to date her because Solar was on We Got Married with Eric? Did the two of them had a fight that caused Moonbyul to do such things? 

As broken hearted as she was, Seulgi wanted answers, she wanted the rapper to be honest with her. She stopped crying about half an hour ago, realising that this wasn't the way to solve things. She should be mad at Moonbyul, but then why did the girl chose to stay with her when she could have gone to Solar now that their feelings seemed mutual towards each other. All sorts of reasons came to her mind but maybe just maybe she thought, maybe Moonbyul did like her too. She needed to know at least that much. 

"Seulgi shi..." she heard a voice calling her name. 

She turned, surprised to see Wheein standing there with a look empathy on her face. Had Wheein come to apologise in the stead of her member, if she did, Seulgi didn't want to hear it as much as she liked Wheein. 

"I'm sorry you had to see that....." said Wheein. "I'm sorry you have to go through this" 

"Why are you apologising to me...?" asked Seulgi. 

"Because some people can't apologise for their own. What Byulyi unnie has done is stupid, i won't try to explain things to you because you deserve to hear it from her. But believe me when i say this....She did in some measure cared for you" said Wheein. 

"If she did...she wouldn't have done this" said Seulgi, tears welling up in her eyes again. 

"I'm sorry Seulgi shi....I really am..." said Wheein before turning around to join Hwasa who was waiting for her by the steps. 

Minutes later, Moonbyul appeared like a zombie, lifeless and expressionless. Seulgi wanted to scream at her, beat her up but the urge wasn't there. The rapper's eyes looked to her and it said almost everything or perhaps the only thing Moonbyul could say, I'm sorry. 

"We have to go back...the PD called me" said Seulgi. 

"Seulgi ah...." Moonbyul tried to speak but the younger girl held up her hand. 

"We can talk about it later..... right now...we still have a show to do so please unnie...for our reputation sake...let's just get on with the damn show" said Seulgi. 

Moonbyul had acted too rashly, she realised that now at how stupid she was, at how how the maknaes were right. But if they didn't tell her Solar had fainted, she wouldn't know how she would react then. They got into the car and Seulgi kept to herself as expected. How Moonbyul was going to resolve this, she had no idea. No wanting to prolong the awkward tension, she started up the engine and drove off. 

They went on with their shooting after apoligising to the PD who understood after hearing the situation from Moonbyul. It pained Moonbyul to see the act Seulgi was putting up like nothing happened. She had to the same as well, after all the cameras were rolling.

They did as they were told and as naturally as possible. She wanted Seulgi to stop, she wanted the girl to scream at her face or at least something. Seeing the girl wearing the sweater that she gave her, Moonbyul felt like the worse person to be alive at the moment. 

"Okay!" called out the PD. "That's enough for the day i gues...Moonbyul shi...you can go back to the hospital if you want to, it's okay with us" 

"Thank you PD nim" she gave him her thanks and bowed gratefully. 

"We'll pick up the shooting again next morning, i think right now we just need to revise some of the segments" said the PD. 

"Thank you for today, both of you. Oh and just to add in for the first episode....the rest of the shooting will somewhat be a free and easy type...the crew installed one in the bedroom...so it's like self videoing from here on. We also have prepared two video cameras for you" the PD continued. 

After the PD and the crew had left, the two of them looked to each other. Moonbyul waited for the girl to say something first but all Seulgi did was sat on the wooden platform, gazing at the sky above them. It was about to be night time soon and Moonbyul predicted that it was going to be a rather long one. 

"Unnie...." said Seulgi, her attention still towards the sky. "Be honest with me" 

Moonbyul sat down next to her, looking up at the sky as well. It was a beautiful sight to look at with its purple and pinkish hue and a little of the orange highlights from the setting sun. Seulgi finally turned her face to the rapper and observed her. As furiated as she was, Seulgi was once again captivated by how Moonbyul looked and she hated that her heart faltered in a way. 

"I wish i could take it all back....every thing i've said and done to lead you on. I thought...i could move on as long as i had you. But...i realised i was in love with the girl who had my heart in the beginning. You were perfect Seulgi ah...the perfect girl i could...anyone could ever ask for...but i was that stupid enough to do something like this to you" 

"And to Yongsun unnie....I don't know how messed up it is between the two of you but...i would have never figured you to have done this unnie..." 

"I understand if you hate me now...if you don't wish to talk to me at all after this....but i do want you to know that i did like you...i still do" 

"But you love her..." 

Moonbyul heard it, the sound of heart break in Seulgi's voice. The girl was doing so well in hiding away her tears. To the rapper's surprise, Seulgi laughed it off as she wiped away her tears. 

"I somehow knew it was too good to be true" 

"Seulgi....please...." 

"Hey....remember that song...that you guys did on Immortal Songs...what was it called...? Ah yes... Love Story of a Girl...?" 

She wanted Seulgi to stop but she knew she'd be selfish not to let the girl pour out her feelings. Seulgi turned to her with eyes filled with tears but somehow still had a smile on her face albeit small and sad. 

"Somewhere in the lyrics....there was one that said...half of my life is yours but the other half isn't....funny...i thought i would never relate to this" 

"Please stop..." 

"I don't know if what i felt for you is considered love unnie...but for a brief moment there when we were at the supermarket earlier...and all those time spent in your apartment...i felt ready to be committed...to us....to you..." 

They stopped talking and Moonbyul wanted nothing more but to hug the girl but she knew Seulgi would never let her be anywhere near her. The rapper watched as the girl retreated inside to the room saying a simple good night to the camera the PD had installed. Moonbyul laid down flat on the wooden platform and stared at the now dark sky above her.

She felt water against the skin but it wasn't her tears, slowly bit by bit she felt more of them pouring down on her face. The sky growled and rain drops started to pour down. Moonbyul laid there letting the rain take her away, she didn't care how soaking wet she got, she closed her eyes and enjoyed the simple moment as if the rain was washing away all her problems. 

Moonbyul got up after rain got too heavy. She struggled to take of her sweater but later felt another pair of hands helping hers. She slid it off her head and Seulgi stood close to her, their faces inches away from each other. It was like a scene from a drama, Seulgi's eyes were red and Moonbyul couldn't help but wipe the tears that still lingered on cheeks away. 

"I'm so sorry..." Moonbyul breathed out. "I never meant to hurt you..." 

"Then just this once...pretend that i'm the one you love" said Seulgi, leaning up towards the older girl. 

Moonbyul nodded feeling her own tears strolling down her cheeks as she leaned in and kissed Seulgi gently on the lips. Moonbyul cradled the younger girl's face with her hands and soon Seulgi's own clothes were wet from Moonbyul's. Their kiss was filled with desperation and sorrow as Moonbyul cornered the girl against the wall. They weren't supposed to be doing this, Seulgi was supposed to hate her. 

"Unnie..." whispered Seulgi as she leaned her forehead against Moonbyul's. "Can't i be the one instead..?" 

Solar sat on the bed and stared out at the window and watched the rain drops strolled down the window pane. It still felt like Moonbyul was here next to her, holding her hand but the girl had gone out to look for Seulgi. She still felt weak and the nurse advised to get some more sleep but no matter how Solar tried her eyes won't close. She wanted the rapper to be next to her. She missed being held by Moonbyul. Maybe she had missed the chance of being with Moonbyul and now all she did was just to cause more misery for the girl. To anyone's point of view, Moonbyul and Seulgi did look like they were happy together. 

She wasn't afraid anymore, she had come clear with her feelings for Moonbyul. The only problem now was had Solar missed her chance of having a happy relationship with Moonbyul without hurting anyone's feelings? 

After thinking to herself, maybe she didn't deserve the girl after all. Not after what she put Moonbyul through while she pretended to like her on screen husband. 

"How are you feeling unnie?" asked Hwasa. 

"Worse..." Solar honestly answered. 

Wheein and Hwasa exchanged looks at each other and the pup sighed before sitting down next to their leader. 

"You can't punish yourself like this..." said Wheein. "It's not fair to Byulyi unnie...it's not fair to Seulgi" 

"Wheein ah..." Hwasa interrupted then shaking her head for her best friend to stop. 

"I know you feel like the worse person alive right now and you wished nothing like this happened, but it did and the one getting all the blame later on would be Byulyi unnie...i don't know what you're thinking in there...but you have to do something" said Wheein. 

"What do you want me to do Jung Wheein..?" Solar looked to her. 

"You have to say something... to Seulgi...you have to so that Byulyi doesn't take most of the fall" said Wheein. 

"I don't think i deserve her..." said Solar. "I don't think i deserve to be with her" 

"Are you kidding me right now!?" the pup snapped. "Look at what's going on for god's sake! The two of you are so highly frustrating! You know sometimes i wish i could slap some sense into you" 

"Jung Wheein..." 

"Stop all of this game! It's tiring! I don't deserve her...i love her but i can't be with her type of crap! You love her don't you! Now this mess has happened you want to back out and leave her in the gutter? Unnie isn't that cowardly...?" Wheein continued on. 

"She's right. You chose for this to happen whether you wanted it to or not. You have to be responsible for your choices unnie...." interrupted Hwasa. 

"Look at me and tell me that you love her" said Wheein. 

"I...." Solar struggled to say. 

"Say it unnie...do you love her?" Wheein asked again. 

"I do..." said Solar. "I do...I love her" 

"Good...then you better stop all of this crap. I don't know how much more Hwasa and i can take" said Wheein. 

After saying it aloud to the two maknaes, Solar had never been more reassured of her feelings for Moonbyul. Wheein was right, she had to stop feeling pathetic and fight for what she wanted, for who she wanted. Although it will eventually cause more damage than it did now, she wanted to get pass it by standing next to Moonbyul and proudly so.