"She is the first and last for me / she is everything between / she is the darkness / she is the daylight / she is the calm / she is the storm / she is the moment / the endless and only / she is my all / she is the one." - she, we the kings.

PRESENT

It all starts in an amusement park, which is unfortunate because Kim Nayoung hates going to amusement parks.

Sure, she used to love running around the parks and pointing at each ride that seem to zoom into the sky, bursting into flames as soon as they reach the highest points (or at least little Nayoung likes to think).

And she likes walking around the park with her hands held by her parents to keep her from pointing at every food stall and brightly colored toy on display.

But as she grew up and her parents grew apart and times spent in the amusement park turned from at least once every season to ‘lucky if you see the top of the Ferris Wheel from afar once a year’, she learns to hate it.

However, she has proved to herself just how ty she is at picking friends by picking ones that go by the names ‘Lee Suhyun’, ‘Jung Eunwoo’, ‘Im Nayoung’, and ‘Ki Heehyun’ – four extreme amusement parks enthusiasts. And not really the good kinds. Im, the other Nayoung, and Heehyun both like going on extreme rides like her – rides she never got to ride when she went with her parents because the last time was when she was almost 10 years old and not tall enough for them – rides that don’t give out happy memories that are painful to remember.

Eunwoo and Suhyun on the other hand are complete wusses and cannot, in any way, ride them.

And ever since both Heehyun and Nayoung lost their minds and decided to lock themselves away from all freedom, sanity, and excitement by putting ugly rings on their fingers (not on each other’s, thank goodness), Suhyun and Eunwoo are the only ones left to go with, which means a whole day of fun riding carousels and the Ferris wheel and going through haunted houses – all of which Nayoung very much dislikes (mostly because they’re the kind of rides her parents used to bring her to).

Chaeyeon should pay for this. The nerve of that girl, taking her best friend and turning her into a whipped little pup who answers to the yell of 'Hyunnie!'. (Pinky too, but they all know it’s not her fault that Im hates leaving her side for more than a minute just a few months before their wedding.)

This is their fourth time in an amusement park this year, and the season's just turning to fall. This is the first time Heehyun agrees to go with them, so it took them less effort to drag Nayoung.

However, the little brought her kid.

"Chaeyeon suddenly had a photoshoot scheduled. As much as I can't let another amusement park date pass, I also can't leave Dani alone at home. Which is why I'm not doing either of those."

Of course, this means extreme rides are absolute no's. And of course this means Heehyun has a reason why she can't enter horror houses while Nayoung is literally dragged inside.

But who cares what she thinks, right?

She grumbles under her breath about female dogs and anatomy openings as they stand in line - for the third ing time that day - for the carousel.

She's a good aunt towards Dani, better than Suhyun and Eunwoo (and the other Nayoung) obviously, so she tries to keep her voice lower than her already impossibly low voice. But the moment Suhyun hands her her helium balloon in the shape of a secret agent aquatic animal and yells, 'last one to the corndog stand will treat the first ones there!' and runs away, Eunwoo immediately following, she places her palms over Dani's ears and curses, loud.

Several parents glare at her, each one covering their kids' ears as if the rude words haven't already bounced through the walls of their ears.

"ing morons," she mutters, hands still over Dani's ears. She looks to her right and finds Heehyun looking at her, conflicted. She sighs. "Go."

And there she goes. really was looking for a chance to escape her mothering duties. What's worse is she can't even blame the girl's hormones for yielding this cute little kid in her arms, because it was her wife who carried a human in her womb for nine ing miserable months (for her, Heehyun, and all their friends - Chaeyeon is surprisingly prissy and noisy and frustratingly bossy when there's a spawn of Satan inside her).

Dani looks up at her, confused. She ruffles her hair affectionately, chuckling at the ripped jeans and oversized sweater and leather boots Heehyun made her kid wear, a stark contrast from the usual pastel dresses Chaeyeon likes to buy for the kid. "Your mother and those little excreta are going to trip over their non-existent male parts in a quest for corndogs." Dani's eyebrows crash at the unfamiliar words. "We're going to be decent human beings and stay in line, alright?"

The kid doesn't understand the big words, but living with Chaeyeon her whole life means she knows the word 'alright' a little too well especially if it's used as a question - which also means she knows that the answer is always 'yes'. Nayoung grins proudly.

It's almost their turn in that death trap with horses and carriages and fancy little carvings and paintings when a little girl, probably just a little younger than Dani, walks to them and stares up at Dani's balloon - a useless little snail that a certain even more useless little sponge loves. She's just staring, but Dani's obviously Heehyun's child, so she glares at the girl with full cheeks and raises her fist, which Nayoung immediately pulls down with a harsh little 'bad Dani'.

She remembers the balloon in her hand, and hands it to the kid. Suhyun's got a grown , she doesn't need a 5 dollar helium balloon that will lose its air after a few days. This kid, however, does. Because this kid will probably spend all her time staring at the balloon and desperately trying to breathe back air into it as it slowly decreases in size. Then cry and bury it when there's nothing left in it.

(She most certainly did not do this to her previous helium balloons when she was a kid and she most certainly do not still have a little box full of airless balloons buried in the backyard of her mother's home that she likes to open and look at when she's sad and tired.)

"Hi, I'm Nayoung and this is Dani-" still glowering like the little kid displays a threat with her smiling eyes and chipmunk cheeks. "What's your name?"

The little girl whispers too soft for Nayoung to hear, so she leans towards her. The girl cups her grubby little hands over her pink lips and whispers directly to Nayoung's ear, "Mina." (Dani grips Nayoung's ring and middle finger the whole time, jealousy oozing from her eyes. Definitely Heehyun's child.)

"Well then, hi Mina. How old are you?" She puts up four chubby fingers. "Dani's five years old. You can be friends!" Nayoung nudges Dani, forcing her to smile - she doesn't. "Want to ride the carousel with us?"

Mina eagerly nods her head, her eyes disappearing as she smiles. Damn cute. Nayoung looks around, where the hell is this girl's mother? Seeing as no one's frantically yelling 'Mina' and/or wreaking havoc around the amusement park to find even just a strand of hair, she grabs Mina's hand and leads both her and Dani to the carousel.

She makes Mina grab one of her belt hoops as she brings Dani up and places her on top of a black horse with golden hair. She puts Mina on the one beside it, a horse with white skin and pink hair. (What is it with these obnoxious colors?) Then she ties their balloons to their wrists, careful not to tie it too tightly.

She stands between the two, holding both of their backs to keep them from falling down.

This is the third time she rode this ride today, but this is the first time she smiles widely and laughs loudly while riding it. The little girls beside her squeal in delight, pretending to be on an adventure towards a place they invented called ‘Pegasus and unicorn and Nutella sandwich and all other pretty things’ universe where they have to save a princess called peanut butter - an awfully hideous name for a princess, but also fitting for one who cries peanut butter instead of tears.

She suddenly feels a surge of protectiveness over these girls, ready to fight to death with anyone who can bring even just the slightest bit of disturbance to their wide smiles.

The ride ends and they walk out, only to be bombarded by whines and complaints from three grown adults holding cotton candy on sticks and wearing cat ear headbands. She watches them as they complain about her not waiting for them to arrive so they can ride the carousel too.

“Who’s the kid?” Heehyun asks, suddenly noticing Mina. “How did you manage to frick frack with some stranger, get pregnant, and give birth all in a span of twenty minutes? Tell me, I don’t need another nine months of suffering under Chaeyeon’s wild eyes and pouting lips.”

Nayoung rolls her eyes. Marriage did this to her friend. “Her name’s Mina. She cut in line a while ago and seemed to have wanted a balloon, so I gave her Suhyun’s. Then we rode the carousel together.”

“Who told you that’s alright?” Suhyun exclaims, hands reaching out to grab the balloon from the little girl’s hand. Nayoung quickly slaps her hand away. “But it’s mine!”

“You’re at least halfway from fifty years old.”

Pouting, Suhyun accepts defeat. “Where’s her mother then?”

“I, well, I don’t know.”

She receives three incredulous looks from her friends. “Are you serious? That’s the first thing you should ask when you see a child without a guardian, !” Heehyun yells.

Dani tugs at her sleeves. “Mommy, what’s a ?”

Heehyun’s eyes widen, horror filling her as she imagines her impending death under her wife’s hands. “A word you should never say, okay? If you say it, Santa will grab your ankles while you sleep and send you to work in the North Pole.”

The little girl’s eyes widen in horror. “But mommy! That place is full of little people who are smaller than Yoojung! I don’t want to go there.” She hugs her mother’s arms tighter, her eyes obviously frightened.

Nayoung wonders where Heehyun learned how to be a mother and will sue whoever taught her that she should make her kid grow up afraid of Santa and the Easter Bunny, and fond of Jack Skellington and Casper. (She also slightly wonders how she managed to hide her daughter’s fear of old men with long white beards, a huge tummy, and who likes wearing awful red suits from her wife.)

“We need to find that kid’s mother right now, Nayoung. She’s probably worried sick.”

She kneels down in front of Mina, the girl looking back at her with wide eyes too cute to be true. “Do you know where your mommy is?”

Mina smiles, eyes crinkling and smiling as well. (She hears the other girls gush a little about how cute it is). She nods excitedly and grabs three of Nayoung’s fingers, pulling her.

They follow the little girl through the crowd, wondering how she memorized the place at such a young age. They maneuver through at least ten lines, pass by five souvenir shops, and drag Suhyun away from thirty balloon stands. Finally, Mina stops walking. She shakes Nayoung’s fingers excitedly as she points to a crowd.

Someone’s singing, it’s one of those talent show thingies Nayoung loved to watch with her parents when she was a kid. Memories force their way in her head, piercing her heart and stinging her eyes. Her knees go weak, and her hands tremble. No, it’s not because she remembered her parents and how much they failed as one. It’s because of the voice-

Her hearts beats fast as Mina drags her through the middle of the crowd, the others following behind.

“Mommy!”

Her heart stops. Waves of memories of tearful goodbyes and screamed curses slap over her whole body, awakening her yet at the same time pulling her into a trance. There she is. The girl that still haunts her dreams every waking second.

She looks down at Mina, eyes watering as the girl smiles up at her with that angelic face. This is the kid.

Her friends freeze behind her, all staring at the familiar face in front of them.

The girl looks up slightly from her seat, smiles at Mina warmly (Nayoung can’t help but think about how she looks beautiful as a mother), and her gaze travels up Nayoung’s body, widening as it stops on her face.

"Nayoung?" she whispers. Her name never sounded so beautiful to her ears, it's almost as if it suddenly turned into a song. She haven't changed, she can still make the dullest things beautiful.

Her expresion remains stoic, probably because of the nervousness and unflattering history between the two of them. She mutters, the name she used to say more than a few times a day now tasting foreign and weird coming from her own tongue,

"Sejeong."