Chapter 5: Secrets

The skies were grey. It was dark even when it was still five in the afternoon. The wind was strong and the atmosphere was cold. Yet, he was walking, shivering, as he followed he stubborn boy in front of him.

“Jungkook, wait!” he called, “Slow down!”

“Stop following me!” the raven haired spat back. Jungkook didn’t bother to look behind but it was evident in his tone that he wanted nothing to do with him.  “Go home!”

“But I only want to be your friend!” he exclaimed. It was the truth. Whenever he looked at the younger boy—the outcast—alone at the corner while everyone else was laughing with someone, his heart couldn’t take it. His soft heart can’t bear to see the lonely look on the younger and he wanted to put an end to his loneliness.

“I don’t need friends!” Jungkook stopped and glared at him, “I’m a monster, after all.”

“You’re not a monster.” He replied, “Don’t let their words get to you. They’re lying.”

“No, they’re telling the truth. You’re the one who’s lying.” Jungkook glared back and the winds grew stronger.  He stated shivering before the raven, “Go away, Seokjin. I don’t need you.”

The images faded into the darkness. Seokjin was lost in his mind. There were scenes unfolding before him and he watched them all like he was watching a film. And for some reason, they all felt real. As if it really happened before, as if it was all real.

But Seokjin doesn’t remember when it happen or if it really happened.

The darkness faded away again and another scene came in.

Two figures were huddled together in the dark. They were both in an empty room, shivering. The only source of light they had was the window—which showed the stormy weather outside. A flash of light came before the loud sound of thunder resonated.

One of the two flinched while the other tightened his grip.

“It’s okay.” The raven whispered, “We’re gonna be okay.”

“But what if they find us?” the one who flinched asked, “What if your father finds you? What if he’ll hurt you? He’ll take you away from me.”

“I won’t let that happen.” The raven responded firmly, yet fear and uncertainty was reflected in his eyes, “We’ll stay together, I promise. We’re gonna be okay.”

Just then, the loud banging echoed. They could see the mob of people from the window, holding torches and weapons and all screaming ‘monster’

The other held onto the raven tighter, “You’re not a monster. They’re all wrong. This isn’t right.”

The raven kept quiet. He tried to stay strong for the both of them but he too was afraid of what might happen next.

“Jungkook,” the other called for the raven, “We’re going to be okay, right? “

It took a moment for him to respond. He nodded, though hesitantly and took the other’s hand in his, “Yes. I promise.”

They shared a kiss before another thundering sound echoed and the banging stopped.

Seokjin woke up with wide eyes and a rapidly beating heart. He was breathing heavily and sweating profusely. Hands trembling and eyes hazy, he tried to calm his breathing. He wondered what the dream was about. They felt real, as if they were memories coming back, but he can’t remember nor pinpoint when they happened—if they really happened.

But if felt real.

“You’re finally awake.” He heard a soft voice coming from his left and he turned slowly to meet a man with cherubic features. His smile was patient and his eyes were enticing. Seokjin doesn’t recall seeing him before, nor does he know the man’s name, but he seemed familiar. Once again, he felt like he knew this man before but at the same time, can’t pinpoint how and when they had met before.

But he was familiar.

“How are you feeling?” the man asked kindly with that patient smile of his. He generously offered a cup of water to him, which Seokjin accepted gratefully.

“I-I’m fine, uh…” Seokjin trailed off, not knowing what to say.

“Ah, that was rude of me. I forgot to introduce myself.” The man laughed before standing up and offering a handshake, “I am Lu Han, commander from the North. But you don’t have to worry about that now. I’m just here for you.”

“Here for me?” Seokjin was perplexed. What did the Commander want from him? It couldn’t be about the attack, right? He did nothing but Ju—wait. Seokjin looked around frantically, “Jungkook? Where’s Jungkook?”

“He’s safe, don’t worry. We’re running tests on him but he’s doing fine.” Luhan chuckled, “In fact, he’s being a sarcastic brat as of now. No need to worry.”

“Oh, “ Seokjin sighed in relief. But then he suddenly recalled the previous evens—Jungkook looking enraged, killing those women as if it were nothing, looking like he lost his sanity. His relief morphed into dread, then to fear.

“He was only doing what was natural, you know.” Luhan spoke, as if he could read minds, “It’s in a Familiar’s nature to be protective. When their Regalias are in trouble, it’s in their instinct to protect, to save. Sometimes, they just get themselves overwhelmed by that instinct, and they get out of hand.”

The broad shouldered man glanced at the general, who smiled at him.

Luhan ed the first few buttons on his uniform—which led Seokjin to blush in surprise. But then the general raised his undershirt a bit to show a huge scar marred on his otherwise flawless skin. Seokjin stared at the injury in shock before he looked at Luhan, asking for answers.

“I got into trouble once too. My Familiar reacted to me getting hurt and defied my command to not come closer. He interfered with the situation at that time and got himself hurt as well.” Luhan recalled the memory, “He got hurt pretty badly. But he didn’t mind his injuries. In fact he was more worried over me, and considered everything to be his fault. I told him it wasn’t, but he won’t have it. After all, Familiars were protective by nature. Failure to protect their Regalias are a huge blow for them.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Seokjin asked.

“I just want to tell you that whatever you saw from Jungkook, it’s nothing to be scared of. I know what you’re thinking. You’re afraid. But you don’t have to be.” Luhan smiled, “He will protect you no matter what. He’s never going to hurt you.”

Seokjin thought about what Luhan said, then he thought about that incident—Jungkook with blood on his hands and a feral look on his face. He can’t help but shiver. Then his mind wandered to his peculiar dream. Where Jungkook was a lonely boy he wanted to help. And it was a dark day. Then they were huddled in the darkness, in the middle of a storm, and an angry mob waiting for them.

It was all unclear and confusing. His head was starting to hurt.

“Seokjin?” the general called softly. The called man turned with a confused expression. Luhan looked like he was hesitating to ask his question but then firmed himself, “After you witnessed what happened before, do you think you can afford to witness the same thing again?”

His heard stopped. His body suddenly turned cold and his ears were ringing. There was only one thing in his mind; fear.

Luhan seemed to have felt it as he held Seokjin’s hand and said, “It’s okay. Unlike Kai, I won’t force you to the battlefield. If you don’t want to, I can send you back to your town and you won’t have to go through this again.”

Seokjin stared at Luhan’s eyes, looking for signs that he was lying, but he saw none.

“It’s just that. Jungkook is an asset in the battlefield. But the only way to control him is through you, and that’s why the council wants you in. But if you don’t want to, then I’ll find a way to speak to them.” Luhan smiled as he rubbed his thumb in a comforting manner against the back of Seokjin’s hand.

 “B-but if I’m not there.” Seokjin asked, “What will happen to Jungkook?”

Luhan kept quiet for a moment before he spoke, “I don’t know. With you out of the picture, the council will probably look for other ways to control him.”

“Ways like?”

“Like…” Luhan hesitated, “You wouldn’t want to know.”

Seokjin bit his lip. Luhan’s offer was tempting. He wanted to leave this battlefield that he never wanted to be part of in the first place. All he had wanted was to find his Familiar and live a normal life with him or her. Becoming a criminal, being forced to join the battlefield and being controlled by the higher ups never crossed his mind.

But he doesn’t want to be selfish. He longed for a Familiar for so long. And even if Jungkook wasn’t his ideal Familiar, he doesn’t want to be the one living in peace while Jungkook goes through wars with death waiting to spill his blood. He doesn’t want to be the only one safe while Jungkook risks his life. He desn’t want to be selfish.

Yet he wants to live.

The choices were harder than Seokjin thought.

He turned at Luhan who was waiting and said, “I’ll think about it.”

The general smiled and nodded at him, “Take your time.”

Seokjin was immensely grateful for him.

Just then, Luhan stood up and excused himself to leave but Seokjin called out for him, “Is there something you need?” Luhan had asked.

“Can I see him?” Seokjin asked. At Luhan’s lost expression, he elaborated, “I want to see Jungkook.”

The general blinked before he smiled, “Of course.”

“Hey big eyes!” The rave haired rudely called.

The said man exhaled and inhaled as he forced himself to calm down, repeating a mantra in his head. “It’s Kyungsoo.”

“Whatever.” Jungkook shrugged before he raised his cuffed hands, “Hey, release me. I need to see Seokjin.”

“You can’t yet.” Kyungsoo shook his head, “The Commander is speaking with him.”

“I get it. I get it.” Jungkook glared, “But surely, they can talk with me in the room. Are you scared that I’ll kill your commander? You don’t have to worry about that though as long as Seokjin’s in the room.”

“He’s still recovering.” Kyungsoo reasoned, “You’re not allowed near him.”

“Why am I—“ Jungkook paused in realization. His widened eyes however morphed into a glare, “You think I’ll hurt Seokjin?”

“Just precaution.” Kyungsoo stated, “I know that as a Familiar, you have the urge to protect. I too had the same urge before, even the General is the same. But that’s not the point here.”

“Then what is?”

“The rebellion.” Kyungsoo replied, “It’s in a Familiar’s nature to protect however the rebels did the opposite. They killed their Regalias. You were once part of the rebels so we never know for sure.”

“I was in the rebels not because I wanted Familiars to reign.” Jungkook replied, “I only wanted to look for Seokjin yet at the same time I abhorred the officials. I threw everything away when I found Seokjin, didn’t I? I let you tie me up, control me with your stupid devices, didn’t I? If I’d harm my Regalia, I would’ve long betrayed all of you and let you kill him with that chip. But I didn’t. I stayed here, even if it was against my pride.”

“Forgive me.” The second-in-command replied, “But I’m only following orders.”

“Orders from who?” Jungkook growled. “From the higher ups? Well, them!”

“Calm down.” Kyungsoo assured, “The commander is a kind man. I’m sure he’ll let you meet your Regalia. As of now, just be patient.”

“Then let me meet your stupid General—Kai, was it?” Jungkook demanded, “I’ll tell him to let me go.”

“He can’t decide that.” Kyungsoo responded, shaking his head, “It’s not just you that the officials are wary of. The General is under observations as well and he doesn’t have much power over your situation as he used to. But like I said, the commander sent by the officials is kind. I’m sure he’ll reconsider your request if you speak to him.”

“Then let me—“

“Like I said before, he’s speaking with Seokjin right now.” The second-in-command said, “Just be patient.”

The Familiar huffed as he sat down angrily. He had a grimace on his face and he glared at Kyungsoo. It didn’t take long for his boredom to takeover and he started bullying the shorter male. “Hey, big eyes.”

“It’s Kyungsoo.”

“Why the hell are you so short?” Jungkook smirked, “You look like a dwarf.”

Kyungsoo didn’t respond to him. He only glared at Jungkook as he tried to suppress the urge to hit the young man.

“And aside from your height, you’re small.” Jungkook said as he stared at a certain part of Kyungsoo’s pants that caused the latter to blush heavily and glare at the Familiar.

“That’s none of your business.” He sputtered.

“If you had a woman with you,” Jungkook said, “I’d feel sorry for her.”

Kyungsoo looked like he was about to explode, but before anything was done, the doors opened and both males turned to find two figures walking inside. One confidently, and one unsure. Kyungsoo straightened up immediately as he spotted the Commander walking with Seokjin trailing behind.

Jungkook bit down a smile as he saw Seokjin. He was about to call his Regalia but when he saw the other male, his eyes widened in recognition. Luhan. He recognized the other.

The man also nodded at his direction, letting him know that he didn’t forget as well. “Kyungsoo, can you leave us for a moment?”

Kyungsoo blinked before he complied to the rquest, casting Jungkook a glance. The latter didn’t acknowledge it as he was locked in a staring contest with the commander. Just when Kyungsoo was about to leave, Luhan spoke again, “Oh, and please take Seokjin with you.”

The said man widened his eyes and was about to protest, but Luhan cut him off, “I’ll let you talk to him after. I just need to say something to him first.” Luhan smiled, “Just give us a moment, then I’ll let you in.”

Seokjin glanced back and forth between Jungkook and Luhan before he hesitantly nodded and followed Kyungsoo out of the room.

When the doors closed, leaving the two alone, there was only silence that filled the room. No one spoke a word first, waiting for the other to initiate. The tension between the two was so thick; you could cut it with a knife.

The silence stretched longer before Luhan finally decided to break it, “You haven’t changed.”

“I could say the same for you.” Jungkook replied.

“Stop looking at me like that. You look like you’re ready to kill me anytime.” Luhan smiled, before he looked at Jungkook guiltily, “Though I really couldn’t blame you. It was all entirely my fault after all, right?”

Jungkook didn’t say anything as he continued to stare at Luhan’s eyes, as if he was looking for what was hidden beneath them.

“If it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t be in this predicament.” Luhan mused, recalling how it had been under his command that Jungkook was captured, “But if I didn’t do it, you wouldn’t have met Seokj—“

“Why are you working for them?” Jungkook suddenly cut him off with a question. “Didn’t you promise that you would never—“

“I had no choice.” Luhan replied, “If I wouldn’t, I would suffer. You would be exposed earlier and Seokjin would be long dead, and the same could be said for the rest.”

“Why—“

“You haven’t found Seokjin yet, back then. But someone had an idea and if I didn’t do it, we’re all exposed.” Luhan explained as he recalled that night—where he met a man who he thought was long dead, “Jungkook, he’s alive. And he’s working for the officials. If I didn’t do it, you would be captured earlier and I can’t even imagine Seokjin’s condition as of now.”

“So you think you’re a hero—“

“I didn’t say anything about being a hero. In fact, I’m aware that I’m doing the wrong thing for breaking the promise. I choose to do the lesser of two evils.” Luhan defended before he glared at Jungkook, “But there’s one thing I’d like to ask you. Seokjin doesn’t seem to remember anything, why is that?”

“I don’t know. He’s been like that since I first saw him again but it’s better that way.” The Familiar said before he scowled, “You didn’t tell him anything, didn’t you?”

“I only told him the things you also said—lies.” Luhan replied, “He doesn’t seem to remember anything so I played with the idea that he’s innocent. I’m giving him a ticket to leave this war.”

“But you can’t do that.”

“I know. I lied to him. But I know that he won’t leave you.” The commander said, “He may be afraid of you right now, but he will always stay. I’m sure of it. After all, with or without memories, the past will always be with him and he will always be bound to you. Wasn’t that the curse?”

“Then why are you even asking him if you knew he’d stay?”

“Because I want him to realize.” Luhan said, “I want him to realize his purpose. I want him to think and understand why he’s here in the first place—although it might be vague. He just doesn’t know how valuable he is to us right now and he doesn’t know that he has no place to return to. The moment he’s in this war, he can no longer back out.”

“Isn’t that too selfish for you to decide?” Jungkook growled.

“I could say the same to you, Jungkook. But I can’t blame you. We’re all selfish by nature.”

“Seokjin isn’t selfish.”

“He’s human. Of course he is selfish in a way. You’re way too biased.”

There was a short pause in their conversation. Both males were trapped in their own line of thought and Jungkook decided to ask a question that bothered him since this conversation, “You said he’s alive. For how long have you known this?”

“For six years now.” Luhan replied, and raised his hands when he saw Jungkook enraged, “ Hey, don’t get angry at me now. I haven’t seen you since that incident and the last time I saw you, you were in no condition to talk. Of course, how could I speak to a mad Familiar killing my men? The officials had wanted you sent to their place but I somehow convinced them to give you to Kai. But I guess that was a good choice, I never knew that Seokjin would be near.”

“If he was alive all this time, then it’s extremely dangerous.” Jungkook gritted his teeth, “The last time I met him, h-he killed Seokjin. I—that man.”

“Your father.”Luhan corrected him, “That man who was once your father tried to kill us all.”

“I killed him with my own hands.” Jungkook snarled, his eyes flashing red for a moment, “Why is he alive at this time?”

“That’s something I’m uncertain with.” Luhan responded, his mind deep in thought, “But I have a hunch that he had accomplices—possibly someone from the officials but I don’t know who. I’ve been doing a secret research these years but I have no clue. His revival is a mystery—and so is Seokjin’s.”

“No, I predicted Seokjin’s return. I knew it would happen because I was there to see it. All I needed was to find him.” Jungkook added, “what I don’t understand is that man. How is this possible?”

“The world is so full of mysteries.” the commander said, “We’re all just specks of dust within the galaxy.”

“I think I’ve kept Seokjin waiting for long.” Luhan said with a smile, he headed towards the door, “I’ll let him in now.”

“Luhan,” Jungkook called, “There are things you aren’t telling, are you?”

The man looked back with an indifferent expression. His eyes were unfathomable before he masked it with a smile, “There are things better left unsaid and I can’t spoon-feed you with the knowledge I have all the time.”

With those words said, the commander left the room and Jungkook with his own thoughts, worries and frustrations. Memories of the past flooded him as he recalled his cruel father.

“He doesn’t know anything! Leave Seokjin be!” Jungkook reasoned.

“That human knows more than necessary, Jungkook.” The man said with a crazed look on his face, “I need to do something about that or else he’ll turn his back on you—like how your mother did to me, Jungkook.”

“No, he won’t.” Jungkook defended desperately, “Seokjin isn’t like mother! He won’t leave and he won’t betray me. And I’m telling the truth. Seokjin knows nothing at all.”

“No, he’s a liar like your mother—like everyone else in this town.” His father suddenly gripped himhard and pinned him on the wall, “He’s smiling at you and telling you all the good things because he’s taking advantage of you.  Deep down, he thinks you’re a monster, like everyone else thought of us.”

“No, he doesn’t!” Jungkook fought back, “Seokjin told me that he’s my friend. He told me that I’m not a monster!”

“You’re monster, Jungkook. We’re both monsters. You and I are different from the rest—you and that brat are different. He’s human and you’re a monster. The two of you can’t be friends.”He said, hands gripping tighter, “That child will soon realize that you’re not normal. And just like you’re mother, he’ll leave you, he’ll curse you and he’ll try to kill you.”

“No,” Jungkook replied weakly, his energy slowly slipping from the vice grip his father had on him, “Seokjin is different from the rest.”

“Jungkook? Jungkook? Hey, Jungkook!”

The raven broke out of his reverie when he turned to look at his Regalia before him. He blinked repeatedly before giving a soft smile, “Hey.”

Seokjin looked perplexed over Jungkook’s strange personality but decided to let it go. His eyes scanned through Jungkook’s current state—he had no visible injuries(unlike Seokjin who was covered in bruises and bandages) but he was restrained. Seokjin could only imagine that if he chooses to save himself, Jungkook would be like this everyday—bound and restrained. Always kept locked in this room and only given freedom when he’s needed.

They’re treating him like an animal, Seokjin thinks with an aching heart. It doesn’t feel right to leave him alone here. That would be too selfish of me but—

Jungkook killed those women without remorse.

Can I really trust him? Seokjin thought to himself. He briefly recalled Luhan’s words—how Jungkook would never hurt him. But can he really trust them?

In the midst of his thoughts, he felt a warm hand against his cheek and he looked up to find a concerned look his Familiar’s face. “I’m sorry, “his tone was apologetic and full of guilt, “If only I had been stronger, then you wouldn’t have been hurt.”

Seokjin blinked at those words and his eyes followed on the hand—that was still bound together with the other—that caressed his bruises as if he was trying to heal them. It made him wonder if it would be right to leave someone like Jungkook—someone who cared for him.

“I’ve always prided myself for being powerful and yet, I let them harm you.”  Jungkook berated himself. “I’m supposed to protect you, and yet—“

Seokjin drowned out the rest of Jungkook’s words as he listened to his heart beating fast. He didn’t know why but he was feeling warm inside. How am I supposed to leave you when you’re saying that?

“It’s not entirely your fault.” Seokjin spoke, “It was partly mine too. I forced you to do it even if you had already warned me. So I guess we both have blame to sharre.”

“But you were my responsibility—“

“I could say the same thing.” Seokjin cut him off, “I’m sorry. I should’ve been more fair to you. You were only trying to protect me.”

“Kyungsoo spoke to me while you were with the commander. He told me that I shouldn’t be too hard on you.” Seokjin recalled the words exchanged between them earlier, “He told me that you were only trying to protect me. That it had all been natural. The commander told me the same thing too. But I realized something. Why is it that Familiars are entitled to protect Regalias?”

“It’s our duty—“

“I don’t want it to be a duty between us.” Seokjin cut him off again. He stared straight at Jungkook’s eyes and said, “I’m sorry Jungkook. Forgive me; I had been selfish all this time, right? I only thought about myself and I never considered your feelings. All I was thinking was to have my normal life back and I’ve never considered what that could be for you. I realized just now.”

“I am you’re Regalia and you are my Familiar. Yet I don’t want us to treat each other as such.” Seokjin said, “Jungkook, I want you to be my friend.”

“What do you want from me?” Jungkook asked.

“I told you,” Seokjin pouted, “I’ll be your friend.”

“But I’m a monster.”

“I don’t care.” Seokjin smiled, “I like you.”

“I want to be your equal, Jungkook. I don’t want you to be the only one protecting us. I want to protect you too. Jungkook, I want to fight equally with you. Although, I know that I’ll never be as powerful as you but I don’t want to always rely on people.” Seokjin said, his tears gathering at the corner of his eyes, “I want you to rely on me too. I want to fight alongside you. I don’t want to be the ne bringing you down, I—“ he took a breath, “I want to protect you too.”

“We’re friends now,” Seokjin beamed, “I’ll protect you from everyone from now on!”

Jungkook blinked at everything Seokjin said—they were all familiar. They were words that had been said before. His heart ached. Whether it was the Seokjin from the past or the Seokjin as of now, he’ll never change. He’ll always be kind, probably a little emotional but he’ll always care for others before himself. And Jungkook is sure by now that no matter how many times he’ll go through it, he’ll still end up loving Seokjin.

Without a word, he cupped a teary Seokjin’s face between his large hands. The latter’s eyes widened in confusion and even widened further as Jungkook slowly closed the gap between them.

He missed the sweet taste of Seokjin.

I've been dead for a thousand years or so 
I'm sorry for not updating for like an eternity. I have a feeling a lot of you forgot about this fic already XD OMO I'm such a bad author, I'm sorryyyyy
And sorry if this chapter is confusing, but I'm slowly starting with the plot. Oh and next chapter will be a flashback chapter. It will all be a flashback in Jungkook's point of view. It's about the time that Seokjin doesn't remember. And it will explain a bit on who Seokjin is and how things came to be. Also, those scenes seen in this chapter will be included in the next chap. I think you have a cue now what kind of relationship Seokjin and Jungkook used to have. 

thanks for reading!

With lots of love, 
Chrysallion