She immediately froze. She slowly bents down to put the crap of chips on her trash bags and still remained her back not turned around. She continuously blinks her eyes to see if she heard something or if everything was real. There was a moment of silence and just as when she was about to let out a huge sigh of relief, she heard someone else say-

 

 

“Wow Jackjack you need some grooming! Come here!”

 

 

Swallowing probably the biggest lump on she slowly turns around and sees Krystal in her classic brown coat and with Jackjack in her arms that has been continuously her entire face and which she doesn’t mind at all. And now Krystal notices Tuna, Amber’s new pet that has been moving around in between her feet so after chuckling a little while, she also carries Tuna in her arms while the two animals try and compete with Krystal’s attention. But finally somebody won. And it wasn’t Jackjack nor Tuna. It was more of Amber.

Krystal gives Amber a small smile and slowly Amber does the same. Amber tried to keep her cool but deep inside she was panicking the out. She hasn’t taken a bath, the apartment’s a mess, and she hasn’t taken a bath. Did I mention that earlier? Amber tries to remember.

 

 

“So, did I came at a bad time?” Krystal looks around. “Or a worse time?”

 

“No! Of course not. I-“ She was looking around and there was just mess everywhere. “I just haven’t been home for days.” She tries to lie.

 

“Hmmmm.” The latter nods her head. “Well I am sorry for a surprise visit. I was suppose to give you a call but then I left it at my house when I left so I just decided to come by.”

 

“Ah, it’s fine. So, what’s with the sudden visit?”

 

“I do remember leaving a few things here so I want to get it back. Mostly because those were my favorite shirts.”

 

“Of course, I still do have them. I kept them safe from everything.” That includes Soyeon of course. “Do you want to wait here and let me get them?”

 

“No, no, no. It’s fine. I’ll just get them by myself.” She smiles. “So where did you put them?”

 

“It’s in the other room.”

 

“You mean your lair?”

 

“Yes. I meant my lair.”

 

Surprisingly Krystal chuckles. “Okay.”

 

 

Krystal goes inside the lair  with her huge brown box. While Amber follows by shortly because she was still busy cleaning the place. She then hears the sound of the vibration of her phone and so she grabs it by the coffee table to see it was a text from Henry.

 

So that’s why you don’t want to talk about it. Is there something that we should know ber?

 

 

She just rolls her eyes and places her phone back in the coffee table before following Krystal inside the other room where she saw Krystal slowly placing the box down and looked around the room. She went beside the tent which was a gift from her for Gongju, a precious dog to Amber but even more so to Krystal for she was the one who picked and named the dog. She found Gongju’s old playing toys and also touched the other things inside the room like Amber’s precious keyboard, a gift from Krystal for her 23^rd birthday and the guitar which Amber received from her as a welcome home gift after recovering from a sprain.

Krystal also notices the array of pictures and the cabinet full of Amber’s collection of Rubrics’ cubes and deep inside Krystal wondered why it was here. All of this used to be in her bedroom. She remembered vividly that Amber would get each and every one of them and try to fix them again just to buy some time. Amber was never mind at her for rearranging the colors. She knew Amber loved people disarranging her cubes so that there was something she could do over her past time. She also remembered that she tried fixing the thing but it was out of her mental ability.

 

She turned to Amber who was there by the door. “I see you did some re-arranging?”

 

“Well, it’s not me. It’s mostly her job.” Amber rubs the back of her neck. “She kind of moved in.”

 

“Ah.” She nods. “I see.”

 

“She said it was all me in the bedroom so she kind of figured to put some of her stuff and so that’s why mostly of my stuff is here.”

 

“Hmmm. I see you still have some of Gongju’s stuff.”

 

“She’s precious to me. Doesn’t mean she’s gone by my side that I would also throw away her things. Soyeon wanted me to but I declined.” Amber answered. “Although it’s still kind of painful to see that she’s no longer here to play with her toys, I remember the good times with her. So I don’t miss her that much.”

 

They looked at one another before Krystal looked away. “So, where’s my stuff?”

 

“By the cabinet, 3^rd drawer. That’s all of your shirts.”

 

 

She opens the drawer to find her shirt collection to be neatly stacked and folded. Now that she had her back facing the tomboy, she lets out a small smile. She remembered the time where she brought half of her stuff at their dorm to Amber’s apartment.

 

 

“Surprise!!!!” Krystal chimes as she reveals the mystery box to her girlfriend. “Do you like my gift?”

 

“What is this?” She looks at her. “Are you placing your 2^nd closet here?”

 

“Well yeah! Practically I am going to live here with you anyway.”

 

Amber’s eyes looked like they were about to pop out. “What? You? Moving here?”

 

“Mom and dad approved it, manager approves, member approves.” Krystal raises her fingers one by one and then she looks at Amber. “Does Amber disapproves?”

 

“It’s not that I don’t disapprove but, it’s such a huge step for our relationship. We’re practically going to see each other 24/7 now. And it can mean that you know…” She trails off and looks down.

 

“I know what?”

 

“That you and I… Are going to be like a-… A… Amarriedcouple.”

 

Krystal furrowed her eyebrows. “A what? Slow down I can’t get what you’re trying to say.”

 

“A married couple.”

 

They both looked at one another feeling flustered on what Amber just said .”It’s not like this country is going to allow us to marry right? Plus Amber I doubt we’re going to see each other every day. There’s gonna be days where I head out when you just got home or when I’m awake, you’re asleep because we have a lot of individual projects but that’s kind of the reason why I want to live with you. You know how clingy I can be…” She plays with her fingers. “And honestly, I really do wanna be around you all the time because I want to and because I love you.” Amber did not say anything so Krystal looks at her girlfriend. “You’re probably thinking that I am some kind of psycho-clingy girlfriend.”

 

Amber smiled and held Krystal’s hands. “I don’t know about you, but for me that was the sweetest confession ever.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“You said I love you by wanting to live here with me.” Amber shows off her grin and pulls her girlfriend closer to her. “Yes, they are not going to let us marry one another so let’s take this as a practice okay? Let’s practice for our married life so that we can avoid mistakes and petty arguments.”

 

“P-p-practice?”

 

“Of course because I know someday, I am going to see you in a white dress, walking down the aisle, looking at me and I at you… And I’d probably cry because you’re my dream come true. And we’d say vows and kiss and be surrounded by our family and friends. I ain’t going to marry unless it’s you I am marrying I can promise you that.” She pressed their foreheads together. “So yes. You can live here with me. You can live with me always Soojung. I love you.”

 

They shared a sweet kiss and hugged tightly. “It’s probably one of your sweetest confessions too.”

 

“Hahahahaha… Since we’ve discussed practice- maybe we can also practice…” Amber wiggled her eyebrows up and down.

 

“Shut up.” She pushes Amber off of her and the latter just chuckled. “Stupid.”

 

 

Krystal smiles to herself more because as more shirts she picks up and puts in her box, she remembered every memory she had with Amber here. For example, she remembers this black shirt where she and Amber went baking and ended up messing the whole apartment. This plain white shirt where she and Amber re-painted her apartment because it was all too bright and Krystal hated too bright stuffs. This iron man shirt where she wore when Amber and her did a movie marathon date during one of the hard rain in the city and enjoyed some hot cocoa along the way.

And oh how could she forget this stripped-sweater? Amber used it to cover her when she was feeling hot when they were practicing for a live event and it was hot. She remembered using it as their cover as they sleep for the long trip home. Seeing her shirt collection, she finally realized that she only used a few of them because she was more fond of wearing Amber’s shirts. Amber even wondered why did Krystal even bothered of bringing much clothing when she knew all along Krystal would end up wearing her shirts.

 

 

 

“It’s called relationship goals babe.” Krystal reasons out while wearing Amber’s superman shirt.

 

“No. It’s called more laundry on my part babe.” Amber sits beside her girlfriend. “You’re not just fond of wearing my shirts here, even when we’re on public places.”

 

“How come you notice that?”

 

“Fans help me do that.”

 

Krystal rolls her eyes. “Oh please. As if you do not like me wearing your stuff.” She leans on the latter’s shoulder. “I like wearing your shirts because there are days when we can’t see each other for weeks and you know me, I love being always next to you.” She then intertwines their hands together. “It’s not like I can hold your hand on the streets and kiss you and be sweet with you. So it’s my way of showing us off.”

 

“Showing off?” Amber asks in confusion.

 

Krystal nods. “Yeah. I want to show off our relationship to other people. Simple things like that…”

 

“Ahhhh…” Amber nods now. “I get it.”

 

Krystal chuckles as she settles her face on the crook of the neck of Amber. “Slow poke.”

 

“Then- shall I wear your shirts on public too?” That caused Krystal to laugh and that made Amber look down. “Why?”

 

“You have wide shoulders. You’ll destroy my shirts.” She chuckles.

 

“Oh. You’re right.” Amber answers. “Then your pants maybe?”

 

“Oh my God Amber!” She laughs once again and looks at Amber. “Just let me do the showing off okay?”

 

Amber furrowed her eyebrows. “And what would I do? How will I show you off?”

 

Krystal smiled. “Just continue to make me as your inspiration for your music. I will be happy with that.”

 

Amber was about to disagree but then she ends up nodding. “Yeah. I am good with showing you off with my songs.” She looks at Krystal. “I just wanna love you-“

 

“Give me that chance wanna hold you.” Krystal answers.

 

“Baby you know that I need you-“

 

“I need you-“

 

And together they ended up singing the last part. “And I want you in my life.”

 

Amber presses their foreheads together. “How did a dork like me end up with someone as amazing as you?”

 

“You just got lucky this time.”

 

“I love you.”

 

Krystal looked at her lover with much love. “I love you.”

 

 

 

She then smiled remembering the memories and then grabbed a couple more stuff before turning to Amber. “Well I think that’s all of them.”

 

“Okay.” The latter said softly.

 

“Amber?”

 

“Yep?”

 

“Can I have one of Gongju’s toys? She was very special to me too.”

 

Amber blinked one or two before smiling softly. “Of course. Pick anything you like.”

 

Krystal turns to the box filled with toys and decided to go with the plushy carrot. “I think I am gonna go with this one.”

 

Amber smiled at Krystal. “It’s her favorite toy.”

 

“Really?”

 

Amber nods. “She sleeps with it all the time.”

 

Krystal smiled in return. “That’s nice to know.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

There was a short silence between them. “Oh wait, I remember that I left a blanket here right?”

 

Amber thinks about it for a while. “Yeah you did. But it’s on the top shelf. Don’t worry, I’ll get it for you.”

 

“No no. I’ll get it.”

 

“No-“

 

“Don’t worry. It’s not that high.”

 

Krystal places the box down and started to make her way to the small step ladder while Amber just sighed in defeat. She knows nothing can stop Krystal from getting that blanket herself so all she could do was walk right behind Krystal just to look out for her.  She knew that step ladder was a bit unstable because it has been years since the last time she used it. She could hear Krystal slowly grunting, trying to reach for that box that has her blanket. And now she’s even more worried because Krystal lifted one leg just to stretch towards the box that is only a few inches away from her index finger.

 

 

“Aha! I got it! Whoa!!!!!!”

 

 

Krystal on the other hand although got her index finger to grip on one side of the box to get it pulled but the step ladder finally broke and now without something to step on, she was about to fall down. She was bracing herself for the impact but of course, just like in every story- someone will save her. Someone named Amber will save Krystal from falling.

But the box where the blanket was being kept fell on Amber’s head, resulting the blanket to cover Amber’s head. The red blanket with the hearts, words and x designs all over it. It was originally Krystal’s and it was a blanket that kept her warm during her trainee years and Amber has been borrowing it a lot. Even their used to be fans even captured the two of them sharing the blanket and had tons of photos in it. Seeing Amber in that form and having this awkward silence between the two of them, Krystal lets out a giggle.

 

 

“I see you’re liking the situation.”

 

“Sorry it’s just-“ She giggled one more time. “Your face.”

 

“What about it?”

 

“It’s funny. Being fully covered with the blanket.”

 

Amber shakes her head, making the blanket fall off of her head and shows to Krystal her grin. “After all this years, you’re still the person who laugh at weird things.”

 

Krystal looked at Amber and couldn’t help but fix the latter’s hair. “And you’re still this careless about yourself.” She smiled.

 

“Because I always had you to look out for me.” Amber answers softly. “I guess l just didn’t see this coming.”

 

 

There was again silence that filled the room as Amber shows Krystal her soft smile. The kind of smile that Krystal knew that there was something beneath that smile. Some kind of pain, sadness or just something that Amber wouldn’t tell her. And being in that kind of moment again with someone who has been a huge part of your life, Krystal reaches out and cupped Amber’s cheek that made the tomboy closed her eyes and just leaned in on her hand. It was kind of an involuntary reflex with Amber. She was used to Krystal doing this as her way of comforting her. And she would be then the biggest liar if she did not admit that she missed this kind of touch. This kind of feeling that this person could only give her.

Opening her eyes once again Amber sees Krystal just looking at her with that look of hers. And she did not know where the hell did she got the courage but Amber started to lean in and pressed their foreheads together. The feeling felt so warm that it made Krystal’s eyes wet and Krystal knew that once she will close her eyes, tears will fall. And she don’t want that… It would break the moment. And as of now, no one wanted to break that connection.

But as the saying goes, life doesn’t always come in your favor because Soyeon arrives and she will be the one who will break the connection.

 

 

“What do you think you two are doing?” Hearing that voice brought them back to reality and made the two of them turn around- shock evident in their faces. “Oh I am sorry, did I break some kind of connection here?” She says with much sarcasm in her tone of voice. “Did I ruin the moment of the two of you getting back together?”

 

Amber immediately puts Krystal down and places distance between the two of them. “It’s not like that.”

 

“Oh really.” That made Soyeon cross her arms. “So what was that all about?”

 

“It was nothing.” Amber answers.

 

“Amber’s right. It was nothing.” Krystal supports but her answer made Amber look at her. “Her step ladder broke while I was getting my blanket there up on the shelf. She was just there in time to save me.”

 

“Of course, she’ll always be there to catch you.” She faked smile. “How thoughtful.”

 

Krystal ignored the attitude Soyeon was giving her and just grabbed the blanket and placed it on her box. “I’ll get going.”

 

“Why don’t you stay Krystal, let’s all have snacks together while watching your youtube videos together with Amber being sweet. Let’s remember the good times!” Soyeon follows Krystal in the living room.

 

“Soyeon stop.” Amber holds onto Soyeon’s hand but the latter removes it.

 

“C’mon Krystal. Since you two have decided to start the moment why don’t we just continue it? Maybe it’ll rekindle feelings and unsaid words you have for one another and who knows, maybe you two will get back together this day! Don’t worry I will be the happiest girl in the world for the two of you!”

 

“I said stop!” Amber’s tone was getting louder and louder.

 

“How are you sure that it will rekindle old feelings?” Krystal finally spoke. “How sure are you that we are getting back today?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“How can I be with someone I no longer love?”

 

Suddenly, the tension inside the room disappeared. Soyeon wasn’t pissed anymore and Amber was just- there. Standing in front of the two while Krystal just blankly looked at Soyeon, waiting for the comeback that never came. So Krystal then continues to get her stuff and wear her shoes.

 

 

“Before you assume Soyeon, I hope you see that Amber already chose you and I’ve already made my choice. My choice is Kai and I am happy with it.” She pauses for a while before answering. “I am very happy with it.” And then she closes the door.

 

After not saying anything, Amber goes back to their room and when she returned, she was fully dressed. “Where are you going?” Her girlfriend asks, but Amber did not answer. “I said, where are you going?!”

 

“What is it to you where am I going?! Do I have to tell you every damn thing?! You’re my girlfriend not my mom!”

 

“So that’s how it goes now huh? She just shows up and then you hear words you never expect to hear from her and now you’re being like that?!”

 

“I’ve already expected that okay?! I know that she’s happy with him! I can see it in her that she’s happy now! What I didn’t expect is to see you being like that! Just because you saw us like that didn’t mean anything! Like we both said So, it was nothing. But then you continued blabbering! You just had to ruin the friendship of me and her! That was all I wanted! FRIENSHIP WITH HER!” She was wearing her shoes but Soyeon was not finish in arguing with her.

 

“So now it’s my fault because I was acting that low?!”

 

“Who else is there to blame!?”

 

“How about the atmosphere in that room huh?! Or better yet- how about the way you look at one another!?!” Amber was left silent. “How’s that? Is that enough reason to put the blame on the two of you?!”

 

 

Amber just looked at her before standing up and leaving her apartment, without not forgetting on banging the door. She puts her hood and face mask on and head held low and she started walking wandering around the neighborhood. She has never fought with Soyeon that hard before. They’ve had fights like what couples usually have but it was nothing compared to what they had just now. She was just walking around hastily that cause her to bump into someone- someone that she hasn’t seen for a long long time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Sulli.”

---

 

“Here.” Sulli sits beside her in the swing.  They’ve decided to hang out in the neighborhood’s park.

 

“Thanks.”

 

“You’re welcome.” Sulli smiles at her. “I see you still have that amazing walk.”

 

Amber smiled. “I guess.” And then drinks the beer Sulli gave her. “How have you been?”

 

“I’ve been great.” She answers truthfully. “I’ve never been more happier.”

 

“That’s good to know. Otherwise, letting you go was just for nothing.”

 

“Believe me it wasn’t for nothing… When you four decided that I was free to go, because I couldn’t handle the pressure I was happy. Happy because I am now able to move on my own without being so cautious about it… I am now happy because I don’t have to drag you down with me.”

 

“Hey listen. Why would you think like that?”

 

“I… I don’t know hyung. I’ve always felt that I’ve been holding the group back. The comments got the best of me, and I just broke you know.” Sulli trails off. “As much I was happy, there are days where I just find myself crying. Every time I see you guys on music shows and concerts- it breaks my heart to know that I should be there with you guys. But I’ve made my choice right? And I chose to be away from my unbiological mother and sisters and brother.” She laughs a little. “I just have to stand by it.”

 

“Sulli, you were the one who broke the communication with us. And we felt like you were happy without us anymore and that you want to focus on what you have now. We didn’t want to become a nuisance in your life.”

 

“Hyung no!” She wipes her tears. “You four were never a nuisance. In fact, you four made me strong in times when I was so weak and was about to break. Our bond made me stronger. If there’s someone that needs to apologize, I should be that person. I am sorry for giving up.”

 

“Hey hey hey.” She taps Sulli’s lap. “Never apologize for doing what makes you happy. We’re always here Sulli. We are just waiting for you to reach out on us again.” She smiles. “I, hyung will always be here for you no matter what… Come here you.” She swings sideways and hugs her little sister. “I miss you.”

 

Hearing that brought Sulli to tears. “I miss you too hyung.”

 

Amber smiled. “That’s my girl.” Sulli laughed. “Yeap. I’ve missed that too.”

 

“Thank you for making me smile hyung.”

 

“No problem.” She smiles and drinks her beer.

 

“But I couldn’t help but notice you look a little troubled there.”

 

“What? Of course not.”

 

“Hyung, you know how deep I know you right? How dare you lie to me.” She playfully punches Amber. “C’mon. You let me open up to you, you should do the same.”

 

Amber just sighed. “I… I don’t know.”

“C’mon just try telling me.”

 

So Amber did told her. From knowing the Kaistal relationship, from the closure, and after the closure, to meeting Soyeon and eventually falling for her, when she came back and what happened, her closure with Krystal, their relationship after that closure, the balcony talks in Singapore and Bangkok, the sudden sweetness of Krystal and Kai, Krystal’s sudden visitation and what happened and her fight with Soyeon. She was going all out on Sulli with her story… Because she knows that Sulli will never judge her for anything. And that’s what she likes about her little sister… She was always willing to listen to Amber’s problems.

 

 

“And so now I am here.”

 

“I don’t know if I should thank that you walked out with the fight because now we’re here.”

 

Amber scoffed. “Yeah. Me too.”

 

“So what’s your problem?”

 

“I fought with Soyeon.”

 

“Is that really the reason?” Sulli eyed her.

 

“Is there something more?”

 

She just shrugged. “You could’ve fixed it today but why did you walked out?”

 

“It was because her choice of words.”

 

“So who are you talking about? Soyeon or Krystal?” And when Amber did not answer immediately Sulli knew. “I see… It was never about Soyeon unnie in the first place. It’s about Soojung isn’t it?”

 

“I- You know- How come you say that- I-“ Amber sighed. “I don’t know Ssul.” She shakes her head. “I don’t know.”

 

“That’s the thing hyung. It never stops.”

 

“What doesn’t stop?”

 

“The hurt.”

 

“Of?”

 

“Of giving the best of you to someone and watch them choose someone else.”

 

Amber did not answer for a while. “Honestly Ssul, every time that I see them together- him with her and her with him… I just feel that my stomach drops all of a sudden. And ever since there I wonder how did we ended up this way? We were so in love. We talk to each other 24/7 even if we’re seeing each other every day because we practically live under one roof back then. We would go out of our personal schedules just to see one another and be with each other even if it were for 5 minutes only. When we couldn’t talk to each other, I felt so depressed and nothing felt right until I see her again.” Amber bent down her head. “But little did I know… While I was there composing and thinking of her, wanting to be with her, feeling suffocated of not seeing her… She was getting air from someone else. She was breathing well because of him. And now I am here, all alone and breathless.”

 

“You know it’s going to be unfair right?”

 

Amber nods her head. “That’s why I try to be okay with it… But why can’t I?” Tears starts to form in her eyes. “Why can’t I be okay with her being in someone else’s arms?” She looks at Sulli.  “Am I selfish?”

 

“To love is to be selfish after all.”

 

 

While Sulli was comforting her, she was so mad at herself. Why would she even feel this way? She wasn’t suppose to. She doesn’t need to… She just needs to be like Sulli. She made choices in her life and so she has to stand by those choices in her life and just continue moving forward. Because clearly, that’s what Krystal is doing with her life.

---

 

“Let us now welcome our newly engaged couple of the night! Park Sunyoung and Lee Jin Ki!!!!”

 

F(x) together with Sulli decided to have a little reunion and a private mini party to celebrate Luna and Onew’s engagement party. It has been months since the talk with Sulli and ever since then, Sulli’s communication with other members has been great. And Amber was happy to finally know that Sulli is 100% happy. It was a big brother’s wish after all.

Drinks, Games and music were all present and of course, foods express from China. Kai, Soyeon, and Choiza were there too as guests. And it was just a very simple party to enjoy each others’ company.

But clearly, Amber and Krystal were doing something different. It seemed like they were showing off their partners to one another. You see, Amber was already- partly drunk when she and Soyeon came in the party for she had rounds of drinks together with her friends.

Amber wanted to be a little loose in Luna's party knowing that Krystal and Kai is going to be there too. So she agreed when her friends invited her for a little drink but I guess she went a little overboard and has now become a little bolder I might say.

Bolder in what way you may ask? Well she has been holding Soyeon's hand, kissing it a every once in a while and also has been a little clingy. And that's what Krystal saw the moment that she has arrived with Kai at the party.

Before the party, Krystal pampered herself up and of course she knew as well that Amber was going to be there. Plus there's this high possibility that Amber might come there with Soyeon. And remembering what happened to the three of them in one place, she knew she had to control herself too. And so while taking a bath, she decides to smoke a stick. Then followed by another, and every time she would close her eyes she would just remember what happened between her and Amber so she would smoke again.

She didn't know why the hell did they end up there. The usual set up would be after catching her, Amber would place her down and there's gonna be some awkwardness and Krystal would then say good bye and leave. But no. There was nothing like that between the two of them what happened. She admits that she was surprised to see Amber there to catch her. But being in the latter's arms after months of barely sitting together, somehow she realized that she missed being around the tomboy. Somehow, wrapping her arms around Amber's neck felt foreign yet familiar and looking at her stupid figure felt warm. But above all, looking in each others' eyes felt like...

 

 

"Like home." She thinks out loud.

 

 

She shakes her head. That's why she has been avoiding Amber. She knows that if she tries to be close to her again, there would be incidents like those. She's just thankful that she was able to control herself. But what if the next time she won't or Amber won't or worse, what if the next time that will happen, what if the both of them will not be able to control? What will they do then?

 

this . She says to herself and grabs another stick, only to find out that she has nothing left to puff on. She has emptied another pack of 20's. She sighs to herself and leans on the headboard.

 

"So much for only a stick Jung Soojung."

 

 

So seeing Amber being all over Soyeon made her blood boil and she suddenly felt pissed. And she thought to herself, if Amber wants to play it that way then fine. I'll play the way she wants.

And so she did. She was all over her boy too. She would let him hold her hand, let him whisper a little bit closer than the usual, and of course she would lean on his shoulders from time to time while enjoying the drinks and the atmosphere of the celebration. But seeing Amber being sweet to her, was the only hindering reason from her happiness tonight.

It was like they were playing a game. Whenever Amber would be sweet to Soyeon, Krystal would do something sweeter to him and Amber would revenge it would an even sweeter act. They were battling in hopes where one would surrender and just break down. But neither of them knew, both of them were about to lose the game.

They played a game where the Lunew couple would randomly pick a friend and a song which that friend would sing and they would chose the best act that will be the winner for tonight. Sulli was the first and sang Youth by Troy Sivan and of course she dedicates it to Choiza who has her youth and probably her old age. The next was Taemin and sang Single ladies which was the life of the crowd and Jonghyun, Key, and Minho sang Closer by the Chainsmokers. That performance was followed by Victoria who sang Middle by DJ Snake. And during the performances and while some of them were really enjoying, Amber and Krystal were looking at one another from time to time.

 

 

"Okay okay okay! So what song is next?" Luna ask Onew as he was randomly picking inside the box.

 

"Aha! It's..." Everybody waited for Onew to reveal the song. "Oohhhhh, Secret Love Song!"

 

"Finally a ballad!!!" Vic exclaims. "If it was another party song I would've passed out." She was really drunk.

 

"Okay babe, so who will be the singers?" Onew asks.

 

"Ok, the first singer is..." Luna opens the paper. "KRYSTAL!!!!!" The crowd cheered as Krystal stands up in front of the stage. "And her duet partner will be..."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Amber."

 

 

There was the silence that filled the room and Amber was being looked by every one who looked like she was still in the daze. She blinked her eyes and sensing it was probably the time to lash out all of these feelings to Krystal, she stands up.

 

 

"What? Does Krystal only get your round of applause?" There were still silent. "Oh c'mon guys." She looks at Krystal. "It's just a song."

 

 

Sensing that there's gonna be some kind of tension, Jonghyun started clapping his hands followed by another until everyone in the room clapped for them. Onew pressed the numbers and play.

The song started with a mellow beat because it was only a cover of the original singers. A slow melody of the piano and Krystal looked at the screen as she waits for the start of the song.

 

 

We keep behind closed doors

Every time I see you, I die a little more

Stolen moments that we steal as the curtain falls

It'll never be enough

 

Krystal voice shook a little bit after the end of the first line but she coughed it away and focused on the lyrics on the screen.

 

It's obvious you're meant for me

Every piece of you, it just fits perfectly

Every second, every thought, I'm in so deep

But I'll never show it on my face

But we know this.

We got a love that is homeless

 

A love that is homeless. With that last word, Krystal had the strength to look at Amber who was there on the other corner of the room just staring blankly at her.

 

Why can't you hold me in the street?

Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor?

I wish that it could be like that

Why can't we be like that?

'Cause I'm yours

 

After Krystal sang the last word, Amber immediately stood up and looked at Krystal.

 

When you're with him, do you call his name

Like you do when you're with me? Does it feel the same?

 

She eyed the latter up and down she was looking like acusing Krystal of something. But deep inside, she does wonder if Krystal thinks of her whenever she's with him.

 

Would you leave if I was ready to settle down

Or would you play it safe and stay?

 

If only Amber stepped up and stole Krystal away from him, would she leave or would she stay? If Amber only gave priority or Krystal the attention and the importance that she deserves, would they be even there in the first place?

 

Girl, you know this.

We got a love that is hopeless

 

Why can't you hold me in the street?

Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor

 

I wish that it could be like that

Why can't we be like that?

'Cause I'm yours

 

And nobody knows I'm in love with someone's baby

I don't wanna hide us away

Tell the world about the love we're making

I'm living for that day

Someday

 

Without the two of them noticing, with every line that they sung, they were walking towards one another. They did not notice that from the long distance between the two of them was long gone. They are now standing there with only a few feet of difference from the two of them.

 

 

Why can't I hold you in the street?

Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor?

I wish that we could be like that

Why can't we be like that?

'Cause I'm yours, I'm yours

 

Amber was probably demanding something. Her tone of singing was now a little strong, her facial emotions says it all. And with Krystal's line, she was practically screaming to Amber that line. She was hers...

 

 

Oh, why can't you hold me in the street?

Why can't I kiss you on the dance floor?

I wish that it could be like that

Why can't it be like that?

'Cause I'm yours

 

 

Why can't I say that I'm in love?

I wanna shout it from the rooftop

I wish that it could be like that

Why can't we be like that?

'Cause I'm yours

 

Everybody from the room noticed the kind of emotion that the two of them were pouring out. Some were just silent but they had a lot of thoughts in their heads, some were pissed off and some cried. Just like Sulli right here who's wiping her tears with Choiza's shirt.

 

But what they did not know, Luna planned all of this. Although there were a lot of papers inside the boxes, it was repeatedly written so no matter what, it'll always be the Secret Love Song. And it will always be sung by Amber and Krystal. If you are going to ask Luna...

 

"I just wanna make sure that they are indeed happy." She whispers to Onew.

 

"By what? Torturing them in the past?"

 

"If the two of them are already okay now, then they shouldn't be tortured by the past... Because if you finally moved on from someone, despite of the hurt, you will only remember the good times with them. You would smile because you were able to be a part of their life."

 

"And now, did you got the answer you wanted?"

 

Luna looked at Onew and then back at the duo. "Yeah. I think I already did."

 

"Why can't we be like that?"

 

Finally Krystal ends the song with the line-"Wish we could be like that..."

 

 

Silence. There was nothing but silence after the karaoke machine announced that the two of them got a perfect score. Feeling that she cannot handle it anymore, Krystal drops the mic and runs outside of the room. When Kai was about to stand up, Sulli stopped him from doing so and eyed Amber who got the message and chased after Krystal.

 

 

"Why did you have to do that?"

 

"Believe me, it's better if she runs after her."

 

"They could probably end up together. Do you realize that?"

 

Sulli then looked at him. "Then I guess she never really loved you enough." And she looked at Soyeon. "And she never tried enough to look away."

 

 

While running after Krystal, Amber had a lot of things. Questions like why  the hell was she running after her in the first place? Why was she so emotional singing the song? She only wanted Krystal to know what was she feeling inside. But as the song progresses, she figured out that it was not only her who has bottled up her feelings. Krystal had some of them too.

So when she sees Krystal crying in the fire exit stairs, she did not know what to do. She did not know what to say… Just like all those nights when she had the chance to talk to Krystal on the balcony or the times where she had the chance to chat with Krystal. She just there standing and leaning on the rails, trying to catch her breath after all the running that she made as she listens to Krystal endlessly crying.

 

 

But finally after minutes, Krystal had the voice to talk. “The first time I heard that song was when I was driving around the city. It just played on my playlist and somehow, I found myself driving to the place where you said you wanted to talk to me. The place where you told me you love her.” She shares. “And ever since you were with her, I kinda made this one our song.” She shakes her head. “Stupid right?” Amber said nothing and waited for her to continue sharing. “So to answer your question Amber-“ She looks at the tomboy. “I do. I do think of you when I’m with him.”

 

“I think of you too much sometimes that I feel so guilty. Here he is, trying his best to replace the hole in my heart that you left, but here I am thinking, wishing that you were here instead with him.” She stood up and faced Amber. “And I don’t even know if you think of me when you’re with her…” She trails off. “Every time I hear this song, I would always end up crying. I am so pissed at everything that has happened to us. I am pissed that you had to be with her. Do you know why?!” She turns around to face Amber again. “It’s because it’s so ing unfair! Why did the public accepted your relationship with her so easily while we were trying to be discrete as hell as possible! Why can’t we be like that like you are right now with her?! Why can’t I show you off and show to the world how lucky of a girl am I to have you!” She screams in anger.  “You don’t know how much I wish I had that kind of chance too. I wish I had the chance to hold you, to kiss you, and just to be with you every single day.” Tears were falling down from her eyes. “Why didn’t that happened to us.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Why do I still love you?”

 

“You… You what?”

 

Krystal looked at her and was bold enough to be the one who pressed their foreheads together. “I still love you.”