“Everybody welcome to- You Hee-Yeol Sketchbook!” The crowd clapped and some even howled much to the host’s liking. “Aigoo, some people are really excited today huh? Well then, let us not hold them for so long everyone, please let me welcome- one of South Korea’s top group- F(x)!!”

 

The crowd started to erupt once again and even more so when the girls entered the stage. They all waved and bowed to the guests and the host before taking their seats. The host was about to talk again but then the cheers seemed to be endless as the fans showed their endless love and support . He tried one more time- he failed. And when he was about to try again someone from the audience said-

 

“EPEKSEU SARANGHAE!!” And that was the entire crowd needed for them to share the same energy with that fan.

“So F(x)…” The host paused. “It’s your first time here in the show right? As a group?” The 3 women nodded their heads.

“We’re just  happy to be here. “ Luna said.

“So tell me girls… How’s your…”

 

The first part was the talk of their individual activities and how the host joked that maybe they’ll leave Korea and go to China since Luna was invited a lot of times to join performance and even offered a solo career there but Luna denied them all and said it was just rumors. They also talked how hassle it must be for Victoria to travel back and forth from China to Seoul from time to time and sometimes even Western countries if there was a photo shoot but Victoria says it’s all worth it whenever she sees the result and she finds travelling fun too. The best thing was it was for free, which the crowd laughed at. Finally, they talked about Krystal appearing every then and now in the television may it be through a drama, a trailer or even a commercial ad for a sanitary napkin.

 

“You’re really everywhere. Even when I just grab a tissue in a super market I see your face.” The host made both the girls and the host laugh. “Only goes to show how high your demand is… So… Will you treat us all beef later or what?”

 

“Hahahahahaha….”

 

“And of course. Let’s not forget… How is Kai?” When he finished asking the question. The crowd gave a teaseful howl.

 

“Well, he’s pretty good. I mean, he’s okay.”

 

“Do you still two meet despite of the busy schedule?”

 

“We do try. Time is like our mortal enemy nowadays.”

 

“Hahahaha… But I’ve realized something Krystal-sshi.” The host looked at her intently. “You’ve never been this happier. Is this Kai’s effect on you?”

 

Krystal just let out a smile. “I… Guess so.”

 

Finally they performed a trio performance of mash-up songs of Love Me Like You Do and Sugar using the beat and melody of See You Again and they of course, received a lot of love from the crowd even from the host saying how they were really different from the other girl groups that visited the set. Indeed it was one of the things that made them famous.

They also talked about the upcoming rumored come back of the girls and the possible another world tour after the successful first tour which probably earned SM another 392023801 billion won. And just as when they thought that the host would wrap it all up…

 

“I noticed something.” He pauses once again. “Where is Amber?”

 

That caught them by surprise. “Well… Amber is not feeling well as of the moment because she has been working too hard.” Luna excused.

 

“Ooohhh… I see so is she at your dorm now?”

 

“Yes she is.”

 

“I know this might come off rude but I just gotta ask…” He trails off. “She is the only one without any solo activities for the past 15 months. And there are rumors that she left the group. I’d like to confirm it now to shut down the rumors.”

 

“The rumors are 100% not true. Amber is just too busy and she has a lot in her hands as of the moment and she almost never come out of the room.” Vic smiles to the crowd. “She’s still with the group. But she just chose not to participate to individual offers because as of the moment- she is focused on one thing.”

 

“And is this something a possible solo comeback? I mean- she had a successful come back.”

 

“We are not sure of that. But that could be the possible reason… All we have to do is to wait for her to confirm the announcement.”

 

The host nodded his head, fully convinced with the answers the girls had given him. “Well, thank you so much for accepting the show’s invitation. Why don’t you say something to all the MeU’s out there?”

 

“Dae, to all of our fans thank you so much for supporting f(x) after all these years. You are the source of our strength and we love you.” Krystal said and smiled.

---

 

“Bull. Where is that Llama oppa?! Haven’t you got a hold from her?!”

 

“Sorry girls but-“

 

“Ugh! If it wasn’t enough, I lied to all of them- I’m even cursing now!” Luna huffed in her seat. Who would’ve thought this angel could do that as well? “Once I’ll see her I’ll-“

 

“It’s alright. Let her go.” Victoria closes the door of the van. “Let’s head home now oppa.”

 

The ride home was nothing but silence. Well Luna would rapidly tap her screen. They all knew she was again, ANGRY texting Amber- asking about her whereabouts. Victoria was chill because she already explained that Amber was already old enough to make decisions on her own and that she would never do anything to risk the group’s name or even the other members. It takes one Chinese to know another Chinese.

But there was one girl in van who is neither checked her phone for updates or rapidly taps the screen of her phone.  She was simply leaning back and watching as they passed by skyscrapers, street lights and the wide road on the way home. She was too lazy to physically do something. She wanted to close her eyes and rest until they reached the dorm. But she knows every time she’ll do it- she’ll just remember the girl with the blonde hair.

 

 

“Hey Amber.”

 

“Yeap?”

 

“Is it just me or does it feels like we’re the only idols that still didn’t visit the Sketchbook?”

 

“It’s just you. I’ve been to the show.”

 

The tomboy received a playful shove from the princess. “Sorry if you are that talented.”

 

“Gave you the chance to feature in my video, you said you were busy.” She gives the latter a playful shrug. “Not my fault.”

 

“Whatever.”

 

“Hahahaha. Just kidding.” Amber puts the psp away and turns to her girlfriend. “What’s the problem if we still didn’t visit? I’m pretty sure it has a good reason.”

 

 

“But I really wanna be on the show.”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because… I…” Krystal shyly plays with her fingers. “Nevermind.”

 

“Hey.” She intertwines their hands together. “Just tell me.”

 

“It’s just-“ The girl with the jet black hair bit her lower lip. “I wanna sing the English version of Good bye Summer with you.”

 

“Really?” This caught Amber by surprise. “Why?”

 

“Maybe because… I want to?” She shyly looks at her girlfriend. “I just want to. I mean I wanna sing with you. Do a duet with you…”

 

“We do a lot of duets whenever I am recording babe.”

 

“Yeah I know but it’s different when I’m singing with you in a crowd. It somehow makes me feel like I am letting them know that I am in love with you.”

 

“And how would you let them know that?”

 

“Simple.” Krystal cups Amber’s face. “I’d just look at you. And then they’ll see it. They’ll see me looking at you as if you’re the only one mattered for me. They’ll see me looking at you, looking at the source of my happiness, the reason why I go to sleep with a smile on my face and feel as if nothing can ever bring me down. They’d see me looking at you and they’ll know how much I love you.”

 

Amber smiled. “I guess you fell that hard for me huh?”

 

Krystal smiled too. “Who said I stopped falling?”

 

 

“We’re here girls.”

 

“Ahhhhh, finally home!” Victoria sighed.

 

“Hey Soojung.” Luna caresses Krystal’s shoulder.

 

“Hmmm?”

 

“Wake up. We’re here.”

 

“Oh. Really?” She looked around the surroundings and indeed they were. “Wow. Must’ve slept for so long.”

 

“Don’t forget, 8 AM tomorrow for practice arrasso?”

 

“Dae.”

 

 

The three girls chirped in and Krystal was the one who closed the door and then slowly, a car parked in front of them. Luna just rolled her eyes and then went inside the building first. Victoria gave her a tap on the shoulder before following inside the building. Someone from the car popped out and it was Kai, her boyfriend for almost 4 months now. He looked at her just the way she described what she would look at Amber in that memory. He looked at her as if she was the only thing that mattered. He looks at her and then everyone would know that he’s in love with her.

 

“Hey.” Kai still had the smile on his face when he approached her.

 

“Hey… I thought you were still in Japan?”

 

“I used to be. Well, I took an early flight and I just wanted to come by to see you.” He paused. “I’ve missed you.”

 

“Me too.”

 

“Wanna go for a drive-thru?”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Drive-thru. You know, like those simple dates we have back in the day.”

 

“Oh Kai.” Soojung’s voice was softer. “I don’t know.”

 

“We’ll be real quick I promise.”

 

“I want to but-“Suddenly, Krystal’s phone started to ring and it was Victoria. “Just wait a minute. Vic unnie’s calling.”

 

“Okay…”

 

“Hello? Unnie?”

 

“Tell Kai you can’t have midnight dates now. It’s 2 AM and we have practice at 8 we need all the sleep we can get. It’s a busy day tomorrow.”

 

“Okay unnie. I will tell him.”

 

“Good. Make it quick Soojung… Luna wants to go up now.” She didn’t wait for Krystal’s reply and immediately hangs up the phone.

 

Before Krystal could say it to Kai, he already has this disappointed look on his face. “I guess that’s a no huh.”

 

“Yeah… Sorry. We are preparing for a comeback and we have busy individual commitment schedules so it’s a bit hard to balance both of them and then still have a peaceful sleep.”

 

Kai couldn’t do anything else. It was already Vic’s orders. He can’t argue with that. “Then I guess we just have to reschedule.”

 

“I’m sorry Kai.”

 

“Don’t be.” He holds her hand. “I love you and before I entered this relationship, I already knew that dates would be really less. But I have you- and I love you. And I will never let you go.”

 

Krystal smiles and gives him a quick peck. “When it’s less hassle and you have free 2 hours, let’s go again okay?”

 

Kai smiles. “Okay.”

---

 

 

“Krystal, you have to let him stop coming by at the dorm. What if Dispatch caught you?”

 

“Correction Luna, they have been caught.”

 

“Only because SM wanted to.” Luna rolls her eyes and looks at Krystal. “I don’t want you to be fed up with so much and then break down. I hate seeing you cry and then hear stories that a fake. Plus, we have a comeback and I think your boyfriend understands how pressure SM puts in their artists right?”

 

“I hate to say this but Luna’s right Soojung. It’s not that we do not like the guy. It’s just for you. And for the group as well.”

 

Krystal could only give them a nod. “I know.”

 

 

But Krystal knew they dislike the guy. They have been together for 7 years now and it would be a lie if she said she still doesn’t know the nature of her members. Of course she knew. And she knew that Luna hates him… Luna was always the charming and warm woman to all of the people but she was not like that to Kai. Sure she tried giving that same aura but she just couldn’t. Victoria on the other hand is civilized with the boyfriend. Whenever Kai would visit the dorm and Vic’s around, she’d just give them a simple nod and then go back to her room. She’d welcome him, she’d say good bye to him whenever he’d leave and she’s in the living room. She even prepared a meal for Kai when he joined the 2 of them for dinner. But she never- NEVER initiated a talk with Kai. It was always Kai who was reaching out and probably no matter how hard he’ll try, he’ll never reach out to the girls. Practically because they’ve closed their doors to him before he even tried knocking.

She knew where were her members were coming from. Of course, they all thought it was going to be her and Amber until they disband or even after they disbanded as a girl group. They always liked Amber for Krystal because they know that no one is better understanding her mood swings and what are her feelings besides the tomboy. And it was true. Amber knew Krystal better than everyone else and it was Krystal who understood Amber the most without even talking to her. They were ‘match made in heaven’ as Sulli used to say when she used to be in the group.

 

“Finally! Home at l-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!”

 

“LUNA!”

 

 

Victoria immediately rushed towards her co-member who entered the dorm first; fearing that something serious happened to her. But when it was Victoria’s scream that was heard- Krystal left her bag to rush inside the dorm.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Only to find out that Amber was home.

 

“YAH LLAMA!”

 

“Hi guys!”

 

“COME HERE YOU!”

 

 

And while the three of them cuddled together in a group hug, Krystal Jung stood there not knowing what to do. She didn’t know whether she’d just stand there or join the group hug. Seeing her again was too sudden and she never liked surprises. She once got surprised by Amber when she gives a spontaneous dinner to celebrate their 500^th day of being together only to end up in a misunderstanding. She explained to Amber how she never liked surprises because she doesn’t know how to react on them. And in that moment, she didn’t know whether she’d be happy because Amber remembers these types of events or be disappointed in herself for not remembering.

So when this thing happens her body becomes immobile. But boy, her heart was probably pounding loudly against her chest. She had to put a hand on it to stop it from making any further sounds. and mouth becomes dry as all she could ever think about was if this was reality or was it just one of her dreams. One of her dreams… Ever since Amber left Krystal was so confused with herself. Every night coming home, she’d imagine that she’d see Amber by bumping with one another or meeting in a coffee shop or by a text message or even a call. But no- she never dreamed of coming home and then seeing Amber inside of the dorm. And she’d never thought that the mini-reunion of the three would stop as they all looked at her now. Her lips wanted to move. wants to say something… She- herself wanted to say something but it never came out. Making a complete fool out of herself in front of her un-biological sisters.

 

“Hi Krys.” It was Amber first to speak. “Glad to see you again.”

 

“…”

 

“Umm…” Amber looked at Luna and Victoria.

 

Victoria was about to say something when- “It’s…” Krystal mumbled.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“It’s nice to see you Amber.”

---

 

Who the hell was she kidding? No it was not nice to see Amber! I mean sure it was but she was thinking of meeting Amber in a different way! How could she not possibly say something right after that?!

Oh right. Because when Luna invited her to sit down at the table to talk and listen to Amber’s adventure while waiting for the Black bean noodles and chicken with a bottle of soda- she declined and said that she was tired from all the schedule and that she needed all the sleep she needs for tomorrow’s practice.

Again, who was she kidding? She’s not even asleep in the moment. She tried changing her sleeping positions, did meditation, and she even counted the sheep but none of that seems to be working for her. She looked at the clock right beside her desk and it says there 5 in the morning. She lost 3 hours of sleep thinking about what happened.

 

“Maybe a glass of milk is all that I need.”

 

Krystal was sure that they finished their talk about an hour ago and based on their sleeping habits, all of them are asleep now. So she stands up and walks out of her room and towards the kitchen she went where she grabbed one of the glasses from the drawers and the bottle of milk inside the fridge. She also saw some kimbap and didn’t mind if she had the remaining pieces of it considering that her stomach was grumbling as well.

She was in the moment of peace and slowly she felt as if she was really light-headed and was ready to hit the sack when all of a sudden she heard the door opened which caused her eyebrows to furrow in her confusion. She heard light and soft footsteps, and she stood still waiting for whomever that mysterious guest to show its face.

And once again she felt like a log, her system just suddenly shut down for that person was Amber. Amber, who arrived so late yet so early in the morning. Amber who didn’t seem to be so tired and looked like she even went out for a skate consider how she brought her gears with her. She watched how Amber slowly places her bag at the entrance of their living room and removes her cap and face mask. She watched how Amber fixed her hair and sighed out of tiredness. And she just watched as Amber jumped a little when the latter finally noticed her existence in the kitchen.

 

 

“Seriously, you really need to talk.” Amber said.

 

“…”

 

There was an awkward silence between them. Something that never occurred to Krystal before. How could she have an awkward moment with Amber? Amber was the type of person who really did not like any awkward moments and so she tries her best to uplift the mood. Even in the expense of her dorky image being thrown out in the public. She even remembered Amber telling her that it was alright if the fans or the public find her dorky. She just wants to make sure that she smiles or laughs.

 

“I don’t want them to think you’re cold as ice. I want them to think that you’re pretty warm. I want them to know that you’re not an ice princess but a person- with a very warm heart. That is why I want you to smile more often.”

 

But ever since Amber went AWON on them- she was never capable of that smile again. Yes, she would smile for the camera and for the fans and the people. But she knew deep down herself that it wasn’t the genuine smile that she usually shows. And how could she? When the person that makes her smile like that just suddenly disappeared.

 

“You’re up early.” The Amber that was once in the living room standing was now in front of her sitting on the stool chair.

 

“O-oh. Yeah.” She immediately looks away from the person in front of her. “I… I wasn’t so sure if I had enough sleep though.”

 

Amber looked at the glass of milk. “You’re gonna get drained and you’ll faint later.”

 

“Don’t worry, I still have-“ She looks at the watch and mentally curses.

 

“You only have 3 hours.”

 

“Yeah… But it’s better than nothing.”

 

Amber ate the last kimbap. “You look sleepy now. I guess it’s time for you to hit the sack.”

 

“I… I guess so.”

 

“Hmmm. Well, I’m tired too. And just like you, I only have 3 hours of sleep now.” She stands up. “Good night Krys. I’ll see you later for practice.”

 

Amber didn’t even wait for Krystal’s reply and went inside her room. Krystal looked at the closed door and mumbled- “Good night Amber.”

 

 

Morning came and Krystal looked like an effin’ zombie. Nevertheless, she had to do what she was paid to do and right now her squad is focused on the upcoming comeback that would make their fans happy after months of not having a variety show as a group and just individual activities. Having a group activity is way much better because it makes the stress or the pressure less and you make more beautiful memories together that they could talk about even if they disbanded and have a reunion after 10 years to laugh about.

There was one girl who also had three hours of sleep but looked like she got 12. Amber Liu was busy jumping around the building greeting every staff she could see and even hugged their choreographer. And she even lead today’s exercises. She smiles to herself remembering that Amber was always like this whenever she’s really excited or she was happy. And as the days past by, she noticed how Amber changed- including her treatment towards her.

Amber wasn’t awkward with her, she’s able to look back at her and she even talked casually with her which makes her skin have goose bumps. Amber never treated her that way. Amber would always treat her like she’s the latter’s number one priority. She would always look out for Krystal. But now- Amber just treated her normal.

She should be happy with it she thinks to herself. She should be relieved that somehow Amber’s decision to leave for a while was right. Because she knew that if Amber continued to stay and both of them will act like nothing never happened was going to be more awkward so why? Why was Krystal hating this kind of treatment?

You’re just used to of being treated as her princess. She once again said mentally. You have your own prince now and she could treat you like a princess too. You should focus on him and on your career. This is what you wanted a long time ago.

But you hate this don’t you? Another side of her debated. You hate how she treats you now. You don’t want to be normally treated. You still wanted to be treated by her like you’re her princess and she’s your forever loyal servant. You’re selfish you know that? Why can’t you just accept the fact that maybe that trip helped Amber understood that you don’t love her anymore. That maybe that trip helped her realized that he can never be your servant anymore and that she has to move on from you. Accept it Krystal. Amber has moved on from you.

 

 

 

 

 

“ANDWAE!”

 

 

Everyone in the practice room looked at the right corner of the room where Krystal stood and screamed that word. She had her head hung low with her lungs heavy breathing. When she looked up, all eyes were on her and they were confused. But there was one pair of eyes that looked at her differently. One pair of black eyes that showed not confusion- but concern. She saw how her eyes softened for her and how her facial expression changed like somehow she wanted to come over and check on her. Why the hell was she reacting this way?

She waited for no one’s answer and just rushed out to the comfort room. She immediately wipes her face and breathes heavily as she stares back at her reflection in the mirror.

 

“Not now Soojung… Not now.”

---

 

After that awkward moment, she returned like nothing happened and they immediately resumed to practice. Mostly her schedule was practice, photo shoots and then she was casted to film a drama in China which meant she’d be travelling back and forth in China and Korea. It was tiring and her body was agreeing with her as her medicine bag was almost empty from the different types of sickness that she has been experiencing for the past weeks. She was just glad Victoria and Luna unnie was there to cheer her up and prepare for her medicines and tea whenever she needs them. Her sister too would send support by having a food truck sent to the set since she still lives in Hong Kong and seldom visits her whenever her sister was busy with her fashion line.

Sulli would also send her text from time to time. Her leaving the group never changed the deepness of their friendship and she was happy because of that. She hated if they had the similar drama like Girls Generation. And her boyfriend should never be left out of the picture too. Since Kai was busy practicing for their concert in Japan, mostly they would do facetime or KakaoTalk. There was this one time when Kai surprised Krystal on the set by bringing her flowers and her favorite Korean foods. It was one way of apologizing since Kai wasn’t able to contact her because of his busy schedule.

 

“Annyeong oppa! Thank you for bringing me home.”

 

“Good bye Soojung! Please take care okay? Sleep more and eat more!”

 

“Hahaha. Don’t worry oppa! I will!”

 

Krystal waved at his manager and entered the building. She huffed in relief that finally she was able to get some rest after the tiring day of filming in China. Now she has to focus on memorizing their choreography because in a week or two, SM would finally announce their comeback and her schedule would be times two hectic so she needs all the sleep she can get.

She opened the door and just playfully threw her shoes around and grabbed her slippers. She was about to scream ‘HOME SWEET HOME’ when all of a sudden she heard some laughter. Her eyebrows furrowed in confusion because she knew no one is supposed to be at the dorm. She looked at her watch to check the date and time and she was right. It was Wednesday. Luna is out with Onew and Vic-unnie is out for grocery shopping. And then it only came to her that Amber was back in the dorm now… And when she leaned in to see if it was Amber, she was right. It was Amber- laughing on the phone while sitting on their dining table.

 

“Hahahahaha silly, No let’s search for- yes! Of course!”

 

“No, no. The melody goes like this.” Amber presses a key in her laptop and there goes a smooth, chill vibe of music. “See? And I was wondering what lyrics would be fitting for it.”

 

“Hmmmm… That could be it. Wait let me put you on speaker while I type the lyrics.”

 

 Krystal’s heart was beating fast for some unknown reason. She didn’t knew why she didn’t want to hear the other person’s voice on the other line but at the same time she’s just stuck there and her feet won’t move or her hands won’t cover her ears.

 

 

“So the lyrics can go- I’m assuming we’re wounded together forever, I want you to get better… I’ll be your band-aid, I’ll be your band-aid, I’m assuming your bruises could mean your into cruising. And I don’t really do this but I’ll be your band-aid, I’ll be your band-aid.”

 

“You’ll be my what?”

 

“Band-aid.”

 

“Band mate you say?”

 

The girl from the other line laughed. “Band-AID pabo-yah! I’ll be your band-aid to heal your wounds all your past relationship brought to you.”

 

Amber smiled hearing this. “Thank you.”

 

“You’re welcome.”

 

 

Krystal hid behind the wall once again and now she swallows the invincible lump on . Suddenly, she felt as if her chest was carrying a lot of loads that it starts to become heavy. She didn’t understood her system but she knew that she wanted that conversation to stop. She wanted to stop hearing them talk happily and so once again- she re-opens the door and this time closes it with a greater force that would make Amber notice that someone else’s has arrived.

When she finally showed up in the living room she sees Amber with her headset on and being focused in the computer while twirling her pencil around her hand. Finally Amber turned around and has this blank expression on her face.

 

“Oh. You’re here.”

 

“Yes. I just got home from China.”

 

Amber hums in response. “I see.”

 

“You’re the only one here?” Amber nods her head. “And what have you been doing?”

 

“Nothing. Just playing around with some melody.”

 

“I thought you were talking with someone.”

 

“Huh? What makes you think like that?”

 

And there it is. That infamous denial line from Amber. Krystal could even tell she was lying. “Well nothing. I thought I heard some other voice besides yours.”

 

“That… That…” Amber looks away. “That must be the video I was watching.”

 

“Hmmmm… I see.”

 

“Well… You better get some sleep. We have a practice at 7.”

 

 

Krystal says nothing and just walks towards her room but not forgetting to not fully close the door. She peaks in the small space and she sees Amber heave out a sigh of relief and immediately taps her phone. And once again, she sees Amber smile. That genuine smile that used to exist whenever that dork is with her.

Ever since that day, Krystal noticed another change in Amber. Something that she should’ve noticed a long long time ago. How Amber would rush to her phone whenever they were on break or how she would smile whenever she grabs her phone right after event that they would attend to or even noticed how Amber would become so silent while looking at her phone to light up. She should’ve noticed how Amber wasn’t always present in their group lunch or dinner or how late she would come home and sometimes would not even return after 1-3 days.

She should’ve noticed how Amber would be so hyper all of a sudden after scanning her phone or how animated she was whenever she was doing some videos. She thought that she’d post it to her snapchat account for their fans but surprisingly- Amber didn’t. It was like she was posting for a specific person and who that person was, Krystal didn’t have the clue. And that where’s she’s really pissed at.

Why would she care? She shouldn’t. She’s got a lot of stuff to worry about like her script in that drama, how to speak Chinese, her Chinese lessons with that annoyingly teacher of hers. And the jumbling together of her photo shoots and plus this upcoming come back. She’s got a lot in her mind so why would she bother about that girl in Amber’s life? She was too stressed that when Kai invited her for a quick drive-thru, she didn’t even bothered to reasoned out and immediately agreed.

 

“Where are you going?”

 

“Out.” She was quickly packing her bags.

 

“Out? Out where?” It was Luna who was asking this time.

 

“I’m gonna go with Kai.”

 

“But Soojung-“

 

“It’s been months since we haven’t seen each other. I think this time I could leave right?”

 

She didn’t bother waiting for the others’ reply and just quickly left the practice room to the parking lot where she saw Kai leaning on the front of his car looking at his phone. When he lifted his head up, he immediately smiles and opens his arms wide for her to enter as they enveloped each other in a tight hug.

 

“I’ve missed you.”

 

“I’ve missed you too Soojung.” He hugs her tighter. “It feels like we are not under the same company.”

 

Krystal laughs. “Come on. Let’s get some burgers and drinks.”

 

“Copy that.”

 

 

Being with Kai made Krystal’s mind relax. Somehow she missed the feeling of being with him. She should just focus her relationship with him. I mean, why wouldn’t she? Kai’s sweet, he never fails to send good morning text messages to her, he would always send videos to her and will say how much he misses her or how much he wonders what kind of relationship would they have if they were just normal people. He would always make an effort to make Krystal smile or even laugh and would never forget to always remind her that he loves her so much. Dating Kai was like dating the male version of herself which was pretty cool. And being with him now made her realize that she should look on him and not on the life of her ex-lover.

They went home after that 3 hours of date and it was almost coming by 6 in the morning. Kai opened the door for her and kissed her forehead before leaving her, afraid that some of the people would notice them. Krystal went up to their dorm with a smile on her face and had a firm decision that she shouldn’t just mind Amber… She figured that she shouldn’t meddle with Amber’s life right now.

And days after that she stopped caring so much and just paid attention to her boyfriend right now. And it did helped her mind off of the tomboy. And to top it off, Luna wants a buddy to have a massage day which she badly needed so she agreed. After the full body massage which made her muscles relax, Luna booked them a private sauna room for them to just chill and hang out.

 

“It’s been a long time since the last time we bonded ain’t that right Soojunggie?”

 

“Yeah I totally agree. Thank you for inviting me.” Krystal smiles.

 

“We won’t have a time like this when we have our come back.” Krystal nods her head in agreement. “By the way how’s your filming in China?”

 

“We’re almost done. And I am happy because at the end of the film I know that I’ll be fluent in Chinese now.” She looks at her unnie. “Catch up unnie. You’re the only one who can’t speak Chinese that well now.”

 

“Yah!”

 

“Hahahahahaha…”

 

Then all of a sudden they were silent for a while. “So… How are things with Kai? Are you guys still tight?”

 

“Yeah. I mean, why wouldn’t we?” Luna nods in response. “We’re just pretty chill.”

 

“I even remember when you told me that dating him was like dating the male version of yourself.”

 

“I remember that too.” Krystal smiles. “And what about you and Onew oppa?”

 

“It’s doing great. I’m just happy that we still haven’t caught by the media.”

 

“Even though you guys have been dating for almost 12 years now.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Hasn’t he popped out the question yet?”

 

Luna’s cheeks flushed. “We-we’ll get to that soon.”

 

“Aigoo… Just the thought of marrying him makes you that flustered? Aigoo unnie.”

 

“Yah!”

 

“HAHAHAHAHAHA….”

 

“But I am happy you know. For all of us I mean… The five of us, finally found someone.”

 

Krystal furrowed her eyebrows. “The five of us?”

 

“Yeah. Me and Onew, You and Kai, Sulli and Choiza, Vic’s patching things up with Nickhun oppa and Amber’s seeing someone now.”

 

“W-w-what did you just say? Amber is seeing someone now?”

 

“Yeah! Hey didn’t you---“Luna widened her eyes. “.”

 

 

There was a silence between the two of them. Right after saying that, Luna immediately looking away from Krystal and bites her finger nails. Krystal on the other hand was just stuck there not knowing on how to react. Yes she knew that she shouldn’t care about Amber anymore and hell she was even convinced that she has moved on from her curiosity of the mystery girl. But hearing this all and being confirmed by Luna was the change of the game. All her curiosity came back to her and she wanted to know badly who that girl was. She knew she can’t find it out to Luna herself. She already spilled Amber’s dating news to her by accident and she’s 100% sure that Luna won’t tell her the mystery girl is.

 

“Well… I think that’s good to hear too.” Krystal says after a moment. “I mean, she deserves to be loved by someone else right?” Saying that from her own mouth made her want to choke on her own words.

 

“Soojung? Promise me, if you will also tell Amber by accident that you know already, tell her I said nothing okay?”

 

Krystal looks at her for a while before smiling. “Sure. No problem unnie.”

 

---

 

Right after the bonding I had with Luna unnie I slumped on my bed as I looked at the ceiling of my bedroom. I know that I should just shove it off, that I shouldn’t bother myself thinking of that thought and that I should’ve seen this coming all along. Amber was a great gal and someone would really fall for her charms. Like how adorable she is whenever she would miss me badly, or how much aegyo she would give me whenever we see each other after days of not seeing one another. How cute she is whenever she’s making that Llama facial expressions just to make me laugh or how sweet she is whenever she’d wake me up with a good morning kiss and a breakfast in bed.

She used to do all those things to me… She gave me all of her but then I chose to throw it away because I thought that I didn’t have a space in her life anymore. I threw it away because I was focused so much on how depressed I was and how pissed I was at her for not paying attention to me enough. I threw it all away the moment I gave Kai a chance and said yes to him. And now, she’s being that same Amber to another girl right now. Right now as I lie here on my bed, some girl  is laughing her heart out, feeling the butterflies all over her stomach while Amber holds her hand, or hugs her, or even kiss her forehead, on the lips as Amber would whisper how much she loves that girl.

And I should be okay with that right? I should be really okay with that! I should be happy that Amber has finally found someone who can make her heart flutter or make her happy now. But is she really making Amber happy? Does she know what Amber likes? Does she know that you really have to force her to eat rice or else she’ll just fatten herself up in Coreano’s? Or does she know that Amber really likes blueberries? Will she treat Amber well?

 

“Stop with these thoughts Soojung… Focus. Focus on your own life.” I said to myself. “So what if someone else loves her now? So what if she- if she…” I wasn’t able to finish my sentence as tears blurred my vision. “Goddamnit… Why am I still affected?”

 

I breathed in and out to calm myself but the more I breathe, the more tears came to me. I don’t want to feel this way… I am not worth to feel this pain. Remember Krystal, you did this to yourself. You are not entitled to feel any hint of pain or regret.

Even after comforting myself, for days I was still blank minded even after our video was released and we were doing music shows now. Most of the time in the waiting room I would just doze off and wait for the recording to be done and even during radio shows I would just seldom talk or do side comments because I just don’t feel like talking. I started to avoid Amber once again and Luna would silently comfort me but I told her that I am fine and it was just the fatigue kicking in my body.

But deep inside, I still have the unexplainable feeling. Like, I don’t know what to feel every time I remember the dating news. I know that I should be done with it really as I have been convincing myself hardly for the past month now. But when everything is silent- I would always remember the news and then I find myself feeling angry or very uncomfortable. My relationship with Kai has been affected too. Nowadays I have always been like a dead person functioning and whenever he asks me what’s wrong, I’d always tell him nothing and sometimes we would already argue because he feels like I am not trying for this relationship to work. I know it was so unfair to him. I am always unfair to other people.

So I thought to myself a little shopping might take my mind off of things. Which is why I am here at my favorite boutique to pick some outfits and I don’t mind staying here hours and hours for de-stressing.

 

 

“Hmmm, what do you think? Would this look good on me?” I asked one of Jessica unnie’s staff.

 

“Yeah but it would be better if you would add something. Wait, I think I saw something upstairs.” She says. “I’ll be back.”

 

“Okay.”

 

As I roamed around more, the door opened and then I saw a familiar face. “Soojung!!!”

 

“Soyeon unnie!” I immediately went to her and hugged her.

 

“It’s been a long time since we saw one another right?”

 

“Yes! My gosh, you still haven’t change unnie! Not one bit!”

 

Soeyon unnie smiled. “Aigoo, but you have. You have been so mature. No wonder you always get the boy.” Unnie playfully winked at me.

 

“A-anniyo!!” We both laughed. “You’re here to buy a dress for an event?”

 

“Yeah. Something like that. You?”

 

“De-stressing.”

 

“Ahhh… I know. I need it sometimes too.” We both smiled. “Tell you what. My stylist isn’t here today and I trust you with all of my heart. Come on why don’t you pick a dress for me?”

 

“Assa! Let’s go unnie!”

 

Many of you don’t know yes Soyeon unnie was the one who did the Peppero game with Amber during her show and she was the reason why we had a quarrel. But during our 4 walls, she walked up to me and apologize for what happened and she didn’t know that I was with Amber that time and she was just being playful. And ever since then we have been good friends and we always kept in touch with one another from time to time. It was nice to know that unnie’s here to help me de-stress too. We almost have the same fashion sense and so it was nice choosing a dress for her.

The unnie who was with me joined me as well and together we shopped in different stores and just enjoyed the time. Finally, after jumping from one shop to another, I finally found the outfit that would be fitting for her. She immediately tries it on, and we were all amazed when she came out from the fitting room.

 

 

“Soojung I am in love with this outfit!” She twirls around.

 

“I told you this would be your outfit for tonight.” I smiled at her.

 

“You really look beautiful Soyeon-sshi.” Stylist unnie complimented.

 

“Only because Soojung did a very good job.” She smiles at me. “I think I’ll wear this dress now. Let’s go head for the counter.”

 

“Unnie I have to ask. What’s the event?” Her cheeks suddenly turned into a shade of pink. “Omo unnie! Don’t tell me that you are going out on a date.”

 

“Yes I am.” She has this glowing smile on her face.

 

“Waaaaa!!! Daebak! So where is he taking you tonight?”

 

“Just a simple private dinner. To celebrate our 100 days together.”

 

“Omo!!!! You two are a couple already!? That’s nice!”

 

“It is.”

 

“So? Who’s the lucky guy?”

 

That’s when unnie let out a chuckle. “I wouldn’t call it guy Soojung.”

 

I furrowed my eyebrows. “Wae? Are you dating a girl?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I’m actually dating Amber Liu.”

---

 

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPSSSSS! BURN! GOTTA APPLY ICE TO THAT BURNT AREA!

HAHAHAHA WASSUP GUYS? DO YOU GUYS STILL REMEMBER ME? IT'S ME! THE CRAZY DONKEYASS! :)

 

Pleasure to meet you mate! How long has it been since the last time I've updated? It's been more than a month right? Daaaaaaamn! Sorry for delaying it too much though! Excuses won't make up for the lapses that I've left you with. I know you guys are really thristing for an update so now I give you one! And hold on wait a minute! It's not just ONE update but TWO! YES! YOU ARE NOT HALLUCINATING. DONKEY IS GIVING DOUBLE UPDATES! TODAY!

Why? Because you guys deserve it! Hahahahahaha! Thank you for being patient and still waiting for the update. So I hope I made it up to you guys by having this update for you to be sad! HAHAHAHA I am such an evil author right? So now we have the first update, and I know y'all are so mad at me right now and so eager to read the next update am I right? :) Well if you wanna read the next update, why don't we play the game again? It's been so long since we've played and I really miss that game! :D

Okay for me to upload the second part, this first update needs to have 15 comments. 15 comments is all I ask and I will really really upload the second update right away. Soooooo? What are you waiting for? Get those fingers tappin' to create some comments and I'll see you really soon! (Seriously, really soon!)

I AM SO EXCITED FOR THE ENDING!!!! :D LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

DonkeyASS walkin' out! :P