Part 4: Choose to Surrender

"Jungkookie, you're not GAY, right? Well guess what? I AM. But ONLY for Kim Seokjin. I thought you'd make a good rival but too bad you're STRAIGHT."

Did he heard him right???

Taehyung walked pass him before adding more fuel to the fire.

"You're already too late so I will no longer let you have him. NEVER."

He was speechless. He stood on the exact same spot dumbfounded. His brain can't seem to process his friend's words.

Jungkook turned his head towards Tae's direction thinking that he would leave him all confused as hell just like that. To his slight relief, he saw him standing still with his back turned against him, deeply contemplating. As if finally reaching to a conclusion, Taehyung heaved a deep sigh before facing him again. His glare was intimidating but there's also a flicker of pain he's trying very hard to hide.

Just then reality struck Jungkook hard in the face.

Taehyung is... in love with Seokjin??? 

Come to think of it, he's been dropping obvious hints since our small fight at Namjoon's house a few days ago.

Was I too dense to not even notice???

Since when???

How long???

Did Jin knew about his feelings???

Was it mutual???

His worsening thoughts were cut out when his friend spoke again.

"At least, that's what I've been wanting to say to you this past few years." His voice was full of remorse directed towards himself.

Jungkook's overwhelming curiosity forced him to finally speak albeit only a few words. "W-what do you mean?"

TH: I surrender.

JK: Huh???

TH: I've been in love with Seokjin way before I made you join the group.

He looked away trying to avoid his friend's knowing eyes and swallowed a lump in his throat.

TH: I couldn't confess to him back then, afraid that I will ruin our precious frienship. Unfortunately, that pathetic excuse made me lose my one and only chance of making him mine. That was the first thing I've ever regretted in my entire life.

He paused for a moment probably composing himself before continuing.

TH: And you know what's the second thing I've regretted the most?

He shifted his gaze back to Jungkook. The latter didn't answer but he slowly shook his head antIcipating his next words.

TH: I gave him the chance to fall in love with someone who's not me.

JK: What are you trying to imply, Tae?

Jungkook maybe dense but he can still put pieces together. But he doesn't want to jump into conclusions. He knew better that to assume and get hurt in the process.

TH: You see, Kim Seokjin was both everything I could ever want... and nothing I could never have.

There waa a long pause that felt eternity for Jungkook. He didn't know what to say to the point that he's starting to doubt his own feelings.

Is what I'm feeling for Jin nowhere near Taehyung's??? 

Was mine just a simple crush???

For some reason, he felt a pang in his chest. As if his heart was wildly rejecting his own uncertainties.

Am I trying to convince myself I'm not gay by discarding what I truly feel for Seokjin???

Was it love from the very beginning???

When Taehyung noticed his friend's inner turmoil, he pulled out his cellphone from his back pocket, fiddled with it for a few seconds before handing to a bewildered Jungkook.

He looked at the screen, it was on the Voice Recorder App.

TH: If I can't make him fall in love with me, at least I can make him happy... even if it will cost me my own happiness