“So, what do we do about this whole media frenzy? It’s about time we got serious about this. The cameras still haven’t let up,” Jinyoung sighed as he sat poised at the table, munching on cereal. Baro ran his fingers through his hair. Of the seven of you, those were the two most relaxed people in the room, obviously oblivious of the suffocating tension that lingered over the remaining five of you. Sandeul glared at Gongchan, who only tried to hide his pout from you and Shinwoo, who yourselves were snuggled closely with each other, less than an inch away from the other. Alex sat with her head in her hands, staring at the lines in the mahogany of the table.

            “Why don’t you just ask Casanova over there since he’s just so smooth~” Gongchan hissed spitefully, no longer able to withhold his feelings.

            “You’re one to talk you thieving ,” Sandeul muttered, his glare intensifying and shooting right past Alex who unfortunately ended up sitting in the middle of them. You bit your lip, feeling a slight tinge of guilt at the predicament you had helped put your friend through. Though it was not your fault directly and your body was your own property, you couldn’t help but to think you had driven the conniving Gongchan into Alex and Sandeul’s budding territory. She didn’t even bother to look up at you, her eyes still glued to the table and her palms now cupping her ears. You swore you could see a single tear trickle down her face but alas, what were you to do? This was a battle for her or at least the ones making the war.

            “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Gongchan merely shrugged in reply, going so      far as to place his hand on Alex’s thigh. She was so senseless that she didn’t even flinch. At this, Gongchan sent a smug smirk towards Sandeul as if daring him to do something.

            “Guys,” Baro boomed, his voice husky and irritated. “Leave the girl alone. I don’t know what the hell is going on, but this is not the issue here. We have all this work to do and you guys are sitting here bickering over Alex for some reason. We just don’t have the time. So, what are we going to do?” he asked again.

            “Look, I think we are all getting a little out of hand here, especially since this has to do with me and Lenena. We have to figure this out so we can get some work done,” Shinwoo pointed out, throwing his arm around you. You smiled softly at his gesture, but immediately felt bad for heightening the tension as Gongchan stared at you and more so Shinwoo’s arm around you as if merely touching you was illegal in his eyes.

            “He’s right,” Jinyoung conceded. “Above all, we are a group of brothers. What you decide, we will follow through with and act appropriately. So, what will it be?” he added calmly. Gonchan bit his lip and noticeably scowled, indifferent to what the others would think as he tried to will the impossible—for Shinwoo to say ‘no’.

            “Well, it’s up to Lenena, but if she is willing to do so with me, I would like to make a public announcement about our relationship, one that will shut everyone up, critic and BANA alike,” he beamed, glancing at you, awaiting your approval. You looked around the table of relatively jaded faces and nodded sternly, determined to help get everyone out of whatever mess this was. Shinwoo’s blinding smile shone brighter at your response and he quickly pecked you on the cheek. “And because I don’t care what the media and outside world thinks of us, I don’t care what any of you think of us. I love Lenena and I am willing to endure any criticism for my decision,” he added.

            “And why would we criticize you bro?” Baro chuckled, the first laugh of the morning. “If anything we were rooting for you like we were Sand-“ he started before realizing the grave mistake he had made. Usually, this was a mistake for the 4D main vocal, but instead, the latter flinched at the mention of his name, slammed his hands on the table and excused himself, frown distorting his usually cheerful features. Alex only groaned, the only noise she had uttered that morning. “I-I’m sorry,” Baro muttered, scratching the back of his head, embarrassed.

            “Great job, Baro. You did what I don’t have to now. Thanks for doing my job,” Gongchan smirked. “Now, if you all will excuse me. Who needs love when you can just up instead? I’ll see you all in an hour for practice. Bye, gorgeous,” he mocked, addressing Alex as he excused himself and departed for his room, chuckling to himself.

            “Alex, I’m-“ Jinyoung started, but he knew it would fall on deaf ears.

            “Alex?” you asked, not even sure if you could console her. You knew breaking Gongchan’s heart was bad enough, but now three broken hearts was just cruel. Still, it was difficult to watch. Your blood boiling, you clenched your fists, contemplating whether going to drag Gongchan by the ear out of his room and giving him a piece of your mind would make you look bad in front of Shinwoo. While you hated the game Gongchan was playing, he was still Shinwoo’s brother. You glanced up at Shinwoo, who had since noticed you tensing up and he shot you a knowing but stern glare. He found it difficult to endure as well but he also knew this was neither of your fights. You had gotten your happiness and was not going to flaunt it to the world as the rest of the B1A4 world fell apart from the inside out.

            “I’ll see everyone at practice. I’m going to get some rest,” Alex croaked meekly as she got up and surprisingly left the dorm altogether, only her phone in her hand. You wanted to go after her, but you figured it was better for her to be alone. Though you were her life manager, you knew she could handle her own if need be.

            “Well, I guess that’s it?” Jinyoung stated, confused as he got up to wash the bowl and spoon. Baro sighed and retired to his room, leaving the two of you at the table. Shinwoo pecked you on the forehead, the warmth of his love bitter sweet. All the same, you knew it would be futile to deprive yourself for the sake of the others. You eventually let yourself be washed away in his affection, finally letting yourself smile a genuine smile until you realized it. You bit your lip, wondering what the best way to approach the subject was, the excitement eating away at you.

            “So, Shinwoo, how do you think you will announce-“ you started until you felt a pair of eyes on you that weren’t those of your lover’s. You turned around slowly, unsure of what pitiful face you would see this time. It was Sandeul’s, his usually already puffy cheeks flushed from crying, his eyes swollen as steaming tears threatened to fall once more.

            “I-I’m sorry, but can I talk to you?” he asked, not even looking at Shinwoo. Though you intended to do it anyway, you looked up at Shinwoo for added support. He smiled a benevolent smile at the both of you and nodded.

            “I’ll be in the room, sweetheart. Take your time,” he assured you before kissed you on the forehead and heading to your shared room.

            “So, what did you want to talk about?” you asked as you sat awkwardly at the edge of his bed, waiting for him to open up to you. Not two seconds after the words left your mouth, he collapsed into your arms, sobbing loudly, his usually smooth and entrancing vocals shrill and discordant.

            “Wh-what am I doing with my life? I knew this wasn’t meant to be. Who the hell does she think she is? How could she do this to me? What’s wrong with me?” he babbled.

            “Whoa, whoa there, Sandeul. I’m pretty sure you just went through all seven stages of depression in like two seconds. Let’s take this step by step. Don’t worry, you don’t need to repeat what you saw. I’m sure Gongchan did not stay in his place for whatever he did, but let’s try to talk this out,” you sighed, patting him softly.

            “Just how do I win back her heart?!” he asked desperately, completely ignoring your suggestion, lost in his own anguish. The question broke your heart. The silence was too loud for Sandeul who, upon the lack of a reply, wailed even louder, his voice hitched with his upset breathing. “I-I can’t do it, can I?” he asked in between pants as he rubbed at his eyes with his sleeves.

            “It’s not that, it’s just that…” you started, knowing full well it was too late for you to turn back now. He looked at you expectantly. You cursed at yourself for starting before you had ample time to analyze the damages and the softest way to break his heart. Now, you had to think on the spot and make the pain as quick and fleeting as possible. “Well, rest assured, she doesn’t like Gongchan,” you added, placing your hand gingerly on his shoulder. His face brightened if only for a second as he was relieved by the news, but there was always the “but”.

            “So what do I have to do for her?” he asked, still confused. You sighed once more, knowing the most difficult part was still to come. You racked your brain for any euphemism, analogy, metaphor, anything that you could to alleviate the pain, but there was only so long that you could drag it out before the wound in his heart started to fester. Hope was a dangerous thing to a madman in love and Sandeul, whimpering at your side, was the epitome of a love-drunk and lovesick madman. You wanted earnestly to let him down easily, but you knew he would still break. You braced yourself for the impact and only looked at the poor boy who had no idea.

            “Sandeul.” He gulped. “Don’t wait for her,” you blurted out, the words slurring together as you tried desperately to get it off your chest. His eyes widened in confusion as he awaited a more satisfying answer. His mouth opened slightly, but he stopped the words with a scowl before closing his mouth. Again, he waited. The pain had not hit him just yet but this was no better. “Sandeul, she just doesn’t have the time,” you lied. How could she not have the time considering they lived together and of the two of them, Sandeul had the more rigorous schedule? He looked right through you. You tried again. “Well, it’s obviously not like that. She just- she just isn’t ready,” you spoke for her, hoping the lie was solid enough for him to leave well enough alone. He did not. Instead, he stared right through you again.

            “What’s wrong with me?” he asked again.

            “Nothing, nothing, Sandeul. You’re perfect and you’re much deeper in her heart than Gongchan can ever be, but you just shouldn’t waste your time. There is someone else out there for you, I am sure. Alex loves you dearly, but as a friend right now. I can’t speak on how she will think later, but that’s what she told me. She loves you but doesn’t. I hope it’s not too hard to understand,” you tried to explain.

            “Then what was all of that about? Was I just a game for her? Did she think she could just throw me away and go with Gongchan? Does the heaviness in my heart weigh nothing in her mind, then? And she thinks we can just be friends?” he rambled, growing angrier.

            “It’s not like that, Sandeul,” you tried to assure him as he stood to his feet and paced the room, his hands behind his back and brow furrowed.

            “Then what is it, Lenena? Tell me since you seem to know so much,” he snapped, his eyes wild.

            “Don’t get like that with me, Sandeul. I’m just telling you not to wait for her. She really does care for you and she would never do anything to hurt you-”

            “But she has!”

            “She didn’t mean to!”

            “That doesn’t mean that she hasn’t. It doesn’t fix it!”

            “This would not have happened if you hadn’t had fallen for her!”

            “And this wouldn’t have happened if you two hadn’t had come. Get out!” he barked, his friendly demeanor washed away by the wave of obvious yet painful secondhand rejection. You sat, flabbergasted, your mouth agape. “You heard me! You’re just like her, always causing trouble. Breaking hearts is just a game to you, isn’t it? I sure hope Shinwoo has protection because if you’re anything like her, he’s definitely going to need it. Get out!” he yelled again, pointing at the door, body quaking from exhaustion and overwhelming anger. Seeing as it was a lost cause, you did as you were told, never looking at the mess that the two of you had created.

*

            “I do hope she’s alright,” Jinyoung fretted as he bit at his nails and stared at the clock, waiting for Alex to come through the door. No one had seen or heard from her since she left that morning and she did know she had a practice so there was no other logical excuse for her absence. The tick tock of the clock rang loudly through the silence and confusion. You slumped by the door, staring at the clock, willing for it to go faster. Though Shinwoo was at your side, he was not the one you really wanted to see in the moment. Above all, you wanted to make sure your friend was alright. Though she was intelligent, she couldn’t always be trusted on her own and left to her own common sense. You had faith in her, but it was slipping away with the seconds. She knew Korean as well as you so it wasn’t a matter of getting lost in an area that was only as big as Arizona, but you still worried. The others did as well, save for Gongchan and Sandeul who were on opposite sides of the same spectrum in regards to her. Sandeul was heartbroken and confused, yet indifferent, a mere shell of his usually jolly self. Gongchan was simply nonchalant, more proud of himself for hiding the pain by casting it upon someone else. Still the other four of you were worried senseless.

            “Sorry I’m late,” she droned as she stumbled into the dance room, eyes puffy.

            “Are you really in any shape to teach us today? I’m sure we could move some stuff around to resche-“ Shinwoo offered.

            “I’m fine. Let’s go guys. I have the dance down. Let’s just get this over with,” she interjected flatly. Though you were upset that she had interrupted Shinwoo’s kind offer, you knew why.

            “Are you sure? You really can-“ Baro tried, only to be halted by a red hot stare. Jinyoung cleared his throat.

            “Well, alright, if you wish. Everyone, let’s show Alex the utmost respect. We don’t have long to learn this until we have to film the MV,” Jinyoung pointed out.

            “Everyone in positions, whatever those may be,” Shinwoo urged, looking at her expectantly yet softly. She glanced at you, the story of her heart being relayed in all of a second.

            “Alright, the song is obviously one of heartbreak, but it has a very quick beat so I’ve decided to see it through as some kind of frantic heartbreak like you’re going crazy. So we’re going to start in a slanted line,” she explained. We’re all a little crazy, you could almost hear her mutter. For the rest of the time, you paid attention to her, making sure she was ok. Of course, your eyes drifted to Shinwoo because when was he not gorgeous? Nonetheless, you had two hearts on the line, one secure and the other on the verge of turning to dust with how many times it had been shattered in only a few hours. You cursed Alex’ weakness of caring too much for she never cared enough about herself and she was suffering as a result.

            “You guys aren’t even trying,” she whined, stomping her feet as she trudged to the corner of the room to slump against the clean wall mirror.

            “We’re trying the best that we can,” Shinwoo assured her, huffing.

            “This choreography is just a little intense. It’s not what we’re used to,” Baro sighed, taking a swig from his water bottle before passing it to Jinyoung.

            “Well, apparently the company said you could handle it because I’m hired here, aren’t I?” she retorted, rolling her eyes.

            “Well, this is true, but we need some help with this, if you don’t mind. I am sorry to bother you,” Jinyoung chirped timidly. Alex rolled her eyes as she climbed to her feet to stand in the middle of the room once more.

            “Fine, I will show you one more time,” she sighed.

            “Well maybe, Sandeul should just sit down and have a bowl of ramen or something. That’s all he is good for anyway,” Gongchan suggested smugly. Sandeul glared at him before jumping back to his feet and stomping towards him, his face contorted into a deep frown. “And what are you going to do about it? Don’t you know, I’m the visual so I always get the girls. Maybe you should put down the chopsticks every once in a while,” he added, chuckling to himself before scoffing at Sandeul’s supposedly pathetic image.

            “At least I have enough meat on me to get me somewhere,” Sandeul replied weakly, making the younger member scoff once more.

            “Guys! We don’t have the time for this. Let’s get this over with already!” Alex snapped, clapping feverishly to get the two quarrelers in line. One look at her told you she was in no mood to deal with this any longer. Though she tried to fight it, she wavered as she talked, looking as if she was ready to collapse at any second. You could have sworn you smelled the faint smell of alcohol on her clothes, but assumed she would never do such a thing before a practice, but at this point, you didn’t know what was wrong with her. You also worried about her heart problems and whether the stress of this job and the entire fiasco was finally taking their toll on her.

            “Alright, alright, I know this seems a little difficult but if we could all get it together and put our differences aside, then maybe we can make this happen,” Jinyoung pointed out. “Alex, show us what we have to do. We can do it, right boys?” A mild hum of “mhm” echoed through the room as even Baro was finding it difficult to find enthusiasm.

            “Alright, now that we have that over with, everyone let’s pay attention,” Alex sighed as she pinched the bridge of her nose.

            “Yeah, everyone let’s get this over with so that we can all go out to eat or something and have a good time,” you suggested cheerfully, hoping that everyone could put aside their differences if only for the rest of the day, but even then, you knew that was asking too much of them. They had all endured too much and though you were happy, you knew none of it was meant to last. To your surprise, she glanced up at you and tried cracking a small smile, but her puffy bloodshot eyes and breaking heart told you that it was not genuine and that was the best you were going to get from your usually cheerful friend. At least it was something.

            “Everyone, please get back into position.” I beg of you.

            “Watch where you’re going,” Gongchan sneered as he stepped on Sandeul’s feet as he shuffled gracefully to position, only to warrant a strong yet still helpless glare from the other. His blood boiling, Sandeul bit his lip, his sweaty palms clenched into iron fists. Gongchan, now in position, with only Jinyoung between them, leaned over to look at him. Jinyoung did his best to reprimand him, but to no avail. Trying to determine the best approach to the matter, Alex sighed, her eyes darting around the room. At this point, was there ever a point so she just decided to continue regardless. The music blared and everyone excluding the two opponents tried their best to follow Alex, but Gongchan and Sandeul just stood still, not at all following the lead up to the forthcoming choreographed fight scene. Instead, they exchanged glares and mental punches but did little to interact with each other and the other members as they should have. Then, it happened. Step by step, beat by beat, they got closer and closer and unfortunately, she had figured this dance without ever thinking of the repercussions so when it did happen, everyone froze. Following their steps, Shinwoo, Jinyoung and Baro were blown aside as the two threw punches, none of which were ever supposed to land. Instead, only a second later, she was sprawled on the floor, her temple throbbing and her head lolling back and forth lazily. Her eyes fought to stay open if only to look at the six of you who had gathered around her. She muttered not a word and instead passed out almost peacefully as if this was the best thing that could happen to her.

            “Look at what you did, you ing idiot,” Sandeul growled as he stepped to Gongchan, their chests almost touching as he stared up at the youngest member.

            “You’re the one who landed the punch. It looks like you need more practice in how to treat women and dancing,” Gongchan shrugged nonchalantly as he stared down at her on the floor and nearly snickered to himself.

            “Will you show some mother ing respect, you spoiled brat, Gongchan?!” you barked, shoving him, making him stumble into the mirror. He looked back at you, heartbroken as he stared back at you, tears threatening to squeeze out. “Oh, no, don’t you ing look at me like that, you jerk. Who do you think you are?!” you asked, eyes watering with the overwhelming amount of anger welling inside of you. At this point, you were so angry you didn’t give two s about anything that Shinwoo could find to lecture you on later and if he did find anything, you knew where his loyalties lied, something you didn’t need against you but wouldn’t mind if they were. It was between you and Gongchan.

            “Whoa, whoa, whoa, there, what do you care for?” he asked, wiping a bit of spit that had flown to the corner of his mouth when he was pushed.

            “What the you mean what do I care for? That’s my friend you’re disrespecting and to say that I am 300% over this damn spoiled attitude of yours is an understatement. I would rather go out there and get eaten alive by the angry BANAs than stay here and deal with your ,” you explained, raging.

            “It’s not like it’s you and what do you care if someone gets a little hurt? Not like you care when you hurt other people. It’s time I paid you back if only just a little,” he smirked, flipping his hair.

            “That is enough, Gongchan!” Jinyoung yelled furiously, making the room go silent at his sudden outburst. “I said it’s enough! We need to stop this right now and get her to a hospital. What is this petty arguing going to do for her? She is not only our choreographer, but our friend as well and we need to make sure that she is not in any kind of critical condition,” Jinyoung added. Everyone excluding Gongchan nodded in agreement as the rest of you rushed her to hospital. Though it had maybe been all of a minute, the fight between the two of you seemed to drag on for an eternity and you knew that it still was not over.

 

 

            “Hey, how are you doing?” Shinwoo asked with a smile as Alex awoke. You stared at her hopefully and grabbed her hand.

            “I-I’m ok, what did the doctor say?” she asked, not at all concerned with the fact that she had ended up in the hospital in the first place. Instead, she held a smile, the first that you had seen from her in over a day. “I have to get back to work. Did everyone learn the dance?” she asked expectantly.

            “Geez, calm down there, you just woke up from being unconscious for over two hours,” he explained. She looked up at you and waited. You smiled softly.

            “Well, they still have time to learn that. Don’t worry about it,” you assured her. “Forget about the schedule and just rest a bit,” you added softly.

            “Where is everyone else? Where is he?” she asked, still dazed as she took in the empty room.

            “They all went downstairs to get you something to eat. They will be back,” Shinwoo answered. “Just trust me, you don’t have to worry about a thing.” She smiled sweetly at the two of you.

            “You know, it may seem really out of place, but the two of you look really nice together. Stay together for me,” she pleaded.

            “Of course, I have a surprise for her later, but that can wait. Let’s focus on you. You had quite the fall. You were punched by accident and dehydrated at that. What happened?” he asked innocently. You nudged him lightly, hoping he would drop the subject. You knew it was too sensitive of a topic to talk about now—or ever.

            “I’m fine. Just make sure that I get to see him later,” you requested politely.

            “Oh, I think they are coming in now,” you pointed out. “Do you want us to leave? We could go ask the doctors when you will be discharged,” you offered.

            “That would be great. I want to get out of here as soon as possible. If you could send him in, that would be great.” You two nodded as you stood up and excused yourself, bowing slightly. She rolled her head to the side and stared out the window as the two of you talked to him. He shook his head, a look of shock and hurt on his face before he finally sat outside. Instead, you were greeted by Baro and Jinyoung who had brought you some kimbap and ice cream with bright smiles that contrasted with the sullen look on your face. They bid you a nice rest before they exited the room.

            He looked at her as the two of you talked to the doctor. She froze and nearly fainted once more. The two of you rushed to her side.

            “Alex, it’s fine, you will be discharged in the next hour. In the meantime, do you want us to stay here with you?” you offered with a friendly smile. She bit her lip and shook her head politely as she looked through the window once more. You knew it was tearing her apart for this to happen.

            “I just need to figure this all out and teach the dance,” she assured you.

            “No, you need the rest. We still have two weeks until the MV and the MAMA awards is a week after. No problem,” Shinwoo reminded her.

            “Get some rest, dongsaeng,” you urged. “We’ll get out of your hair,” you promised, beaming. With that, she fell asleep, awaiting the next trouble that would come her way.

            Outside, another storm was brewing as you glared at Gongchan all the while squeezing Shinwoo’s hand for strength not to fight him. All the while, Gongchan matched your stare, nearly challenging you to do something, almost reminding you that Shinwoo was his friend before your lover and though things were difficult between them, they were still family. You were nothing to him, at least nothing compared to Gongchan.

            “Still waiting for your friend to wake up?” Gongchan asked on his way to the bathroom. Your blood boiling and your mind in a haze, you stuck your leg out to trip him before pouncing on him. Shinwoo didn’t even try to pull you off of him and instead, he looked Gongchan right in the eye as if to tell him he had done this to himself and there was no room for him to intervene. Gongchan pushed you off of him and raised his hand as if to hit you, but he was too hurt to do any real damage. The real damage had already been done. Instead, he yelled, disturbing the rest of the hospital crew in the area that then rushed to pull him off you. “Why are you doing this to me?”

            “You did this to yourself, ,” Shinwoo mumbled, interjecting though you were going to say much the same thing. The look of pure betrayal that flashed across Gongchan’s face was too much to bear but when you looked at Sandeul, he fared no better. At this point, it was brother against brother and the two of you were stuck in the middle. If only Alex would open her eyes, but even then, you wished she wouldn’t see how bad it was.

            “Is everyone alright, here?” the main doctor asked. “We will dismiss your friend now. I hope no one is hurt,” he added as he looked at Gongchan slumped against the window and you huffing at Shinwoo’s side.

            “What happened?” Alex asked, always keen to when things were awry.

            “Nothing, people just learned what they were worth today,” Gongchan replied before brushing past her, you and Shinwoo on the way to car. People most certainly did, but there were more lessons to come.