[CONTENTID1]Parted[/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2]“Let’s break up.”

Jiyong flinched as if he was just stabbed right through the heart. He somehow knew this was coming anyway but to hear Seungri say the words out loud made blood freeze in his veins.

“It was fun while it lasted.”

What Jiyong hated the most was Seungri’s calm resolved tone as he said the words. As if all what they experienced together throughout the years was just something. Another thing. Unimportant.

“Why?” Jiyong’s voice trembled but he didn’t care. It’s not like his pride didn’t take enough blows already. Something inside him was already whispering the answer to his own question but Jiyong didn’t want to kill the little hope that nourished his heartbeat.

Seungri laughed and Jiyong wanted to slap his pretty face. How dare he mock his feelings this openly?

“You didn’t think it will last forever, right?”

“Apparently you’re the one didn’t.”

For Jiyong, Seungri was his forever.

“I am getting married.” Seungri announced, his voice regaining the serious calm tone. The blade that was already inside Jiyong’s heart, twisted until all of his air was cut away.

Why?

Why does it hurt so freaking much?

“It’s Mirae, isn’t it?” Jiyong knew it already. He saw their eyes. The way they looked at each other, the secret touches behind his back. He bloody knew it. Yet he chose to turn a blind eye. He didn’t want to suffocate Seungri and Mirae was his friend even before Jiyong came along.

He couldn’t say anything when he saw them hugging or when the cheek kisses lasted longer than it should. Seungri threw a fit whenever Jiyong brought out the subject. And since he was a bloody loser who didn’t want to lose Seungri, Jiyong swallowed the knife with its blood.

“It is.”

“I knew it.” Jiyong gave a long humourless laugh that brought tears to his eyes. “She’s only a friend you said. Stop being overdramatic you’d blame me but all of this time you’ve been playing sick games behind my back. You didn’t have to lie to me.”

“I am sorry.” Despite Seungri’s apologetic sad voice that usually melted Jiyong, he found himself boiling. How dare he play with his emotions like it was some game?

“Go f**k yourself!” Jiyong spat. “I hope your rot in bloody hell with your doll princess!”

Seungri nodded without saying a word.

“You’re not worthy of me,” Jiyong hated the tears that marred his eyes.

“I know.”

“You never deserved me.”

“I know that too.”

“One day you will regret this from the bloody bottom of your soul,” Jiyong was crying now, he angrily wiped his tears hating that he showed weakness in front of the one who didn’t think twice before shattering his heart. “You will look at me and wish you can get me back but I will step on you and walk away. I will erase you and find someone better than you. I will smile but not because of you.”

Seungri nodded, looking at him with detached eyes. He never saw Jiyong. Not really. And now, he never will.

“I will show you.”

“I am counting on it,” Seungri murmured before turning on his heels and leaving.

Jiyong cried until there was no tears to shed, the shredded hole inside his soul wouldn’t stop bleeding. It was hard. It was suffocating. Nothing made sense anymore. And so he collapsed giving in to his sadness. He always thought that Seungri was the one for him but apparently it wasn’t the case. He wouldn’t be hurting from the depths of his soul if it was true.

Soon enough, his tears dried and all the broken feelings turned to anger and Jiyong cursed Seungri from the bottom of his heart.

F**k. Him.

Although it was tearing him apart, Jiyong went to Seungri’s wedding wearing a tax and his most radiating smile. He even took a date. He smiled and laughed at everything that was said refusing to look like a loser.

Then he watched Seungri make vows and kiss someone who wasn’t him and something died inside Jiyong that moment. It’s like nothing really mattered anymore.

He really lost Seungri. For good.

Existing while not being alive was way worse than death and that’s exactly Jiyong’s life from now on.

“Jiyong-ssi,” Mirae approached him during the reception and Jiyong wanted nothing but to slap the fake smile out of her face. “I didn’t think you would make it.”

She was actually beautiful. A natural porcelain doll. Seungri’s type.

Jiyong flashed her one of his own smiles deciding to play whatever she had in store for him. “I am Seungri’s leader, of course I would make it.”

“I’ve known him before you Jiyong-ssi,” She was smiling but the venom in her words didn’t escape him.

“Time has nothing to do with things.”

“Oh, it does.” She smiled coyly. “You never really had a chance.”

Blood raised to Jiyong’s brain. He was on the verge of slapping her when Seungri showed up by her side pulling her toward him by the waist.

I used to do that to him. Jiyong thought before quickly reverting his eyes away.

He would rather die before crying in front of them.

“Let me congratulate you once again,” Jiyong said through his brightest smile suddenly wanting out of this suffocating hypocrisy. He wanted to leave.

“Thank you,” Mirae hugged him lightly and Jiyong cringed. She leaned into his ear whispering so only him can hear what she said. “I win. You lose.”

Then she pulled away into Seungri’s hold laughing as if she didn’t just plunge another blade in Jiyong’s heart.

“Congratulations maknae,” Jiyong tapped Seungri on the shoulder barely keeping his nerves at bay. He wanted to scream so loud.”

“Thank you Jiy…I mean hyung.”

When Jiyong took his date’s hand opting to leave, he couldn’t help but lean close to Seungri so he could whisper him the words that weighed on his heart all night. “I hope someday, you will hurt so bad until your heart bleeds the way mine did today.”

Jiyong thought he saw something tick in Seungri’s eyes but he didn’t really accord much attention to it.

He just left.

It was all black after that.

He wrote music. He dated but didn’t really care about any of them. He went in and out of an existence state that didn’t really make any sense.

But most of all, he kept the perfect façade for Seungri and Mirae to see. Because no matter how wounded he was, Jiyong refused to admit that he was lying through his teeth when he said he will ever get over Seungri.

Never. Not in this lifetime.

Every time he saw them happily holding hands and smiling like the word belonged to them, Jiyong’s soul was shattered further more. He had no more tears to shed. He even gave up on sewing his injured bleeding heart. It’s not like he will ever be able to.

So he proposed to the girl he was dating at the time. She didn’t really mean anything and they will probably divorce in few years but Jiyong was fine with it. He promised Seungri to find someone better and he intended to keep his word.

Seven months later, few weeks before Jiyong’s wedding, the internet flooded with articles of Mirae’s death. Jiyong didn’t think twice before going to Seungri. It’s not that he wanted to take the chance to take him back –he from all people knew that it was impossible. All what Jiyong wanted was to make sure he was okay. Nothing actuall