March 12, 2012

The alarm on my phone goes off, reminding me that I have five minutes to get to class. I can’t remember the last time I listened to it.

I continue gazing up at the sky, wondering if the clouds ever wish they could fly a little faster. They are shapeless this morning - just little wisps of white smoke that trail across a fading blue canvas. The breeze beckons, and a handful of leaves swirl down to tickle my face. I swat them away and sit up when I hear footsteps.

There are patches of people walking across the lawn to get to the education building. A few others are walking away from it, and some are walking towards me. I hop off the bench, grab my backpack, and jog towards my next class.

I arrive two minutes late. Ignoring the politics of class seating, I steal a desk in the back. I don’t pay attention when the professor walks in, and I especially don’t pay attention when the lecture begins. When the class finishes, I briskly walk to the student center, hoping to catch a meal before lunch rush begins.

“Jongin! Wait up!”

Sehun hooks an arm around my neck, not noticing (or ignoring) how stiff my shoulders are. “Are you going to the student center?

I nod.

“Let’s go together!”

I don’t have the energy to protest, so I let him pull me towards the center as though he were a little kid trying to convince his parents what a wise decision it would be to invest in another toy. Sehun practically caters to me when we get there, going so far as to fill my tray and place utensils beside it. He finds an empty table in the back, and I’m relieved that he remembers I don’t like crowds.

“I didn’t see you in World Lit today. Did you skip?”

“I dozed off.”

“Again?” He grabs a spoonful of rice and uses his chopsticks to artistically place kimchi on top. “That’s pure talent, getting to school early just to sleep. You might as well stay in your apartment if you’re gonna do that. Does your hyung know?”

“I doubt it. He’s too busy with school and soccer to notice, I think.”

“That’s the popular life for you. How is he by the way?”

“I haven’t asked.”

We eat in silence. I can sense Sehun’s discomfort. I’m uncomfortable, too, but he’s my friend, so I make an effort.

“Where’d you get your sweater?”

He looks up, surprised that I asked him anything. “It was a gift. Isn’t it nice?”

“It looks like something your grandpa would wear.”

“Hey!” He reaches over and punches me on the shoulder. I think a smile escapes me. I’m not sure. “For the record, I have a very stylish grandpa.”

I snort, and he starts talking about this girl he has a crush on. Her name is Sunyoung, and she is a year older than him. He blabbers on about how she is super shy (like me) and he guesses that’s why he likes her, because her silence compliments his loudness (like me). He keeps glancing at me as though I’ll say something, but I just listen and finish my meal.

“Are you going home?” He asks when I stand.

“Yeah. I don’t have any more classes for the day.”

“Oh right, you only have two classes on Mondays.” He gives me a thumbs up. “Well, have fun! Are you gonna do homework?”

“Probably not.”

“We should do something later then. I finish class at 3 - “

He must have seen something, because he immediately turns redder than the kimchi on his tray. I look around, but all I see is people pouring in. There’s already too many of them.

“I’m out,” I say. “See you tomorrow.”

I leave him blushing about something - probably Sunyoung, or some other girl with pale skin and long legs - and head towards the nearest bus stop. I plug my headphones in, press play, and pretend I’m in a world of screaming color.

-----

Hyung isn’t home yet, most likely at soccer practice. I start checking our phone messages, but it’s only full of scam calls. The phone rings, so I put it on speaker while I grab hyung’s deflated soccer ball and try to do lifts.

“Hello?”

“Hi, is this Taemin?”

“No, it’s Jongin. I’m his brother. Who is this?” I kick the ball too hard, and it crashes against the rice cooker. I scurry for it, hoping the man on the other end of the line didn’t hear.

“It’s your landlord. I was calling about rent payment.”

I pause. He’s never called us about rent payment before.

“I’m sure Taemin knows this already, but if you could tell your brother - you’re a few days late on rent, so there are late fees getting charged to your account. I know you’ve been having a hard time since … anyway, it’s only your first time, so I won’t be too harsh, but don’t let it continue.”

“Um. Yeah, I’ll tell him.”

“Thanks. Have a good afternoon.” It clicks off. I watch the red light on the phone periodically blink until it disappears.

Hyung has never been late on our rent payment. I wonder if he just forgot, although that’s unlike him. I start to put my shoes back on, deciding I should visit him at school, when the door opens.

It’s hyung, and he has on his favorite navy blue jacket. He takes off his baseball cap and runs a hand through his hair before placing the cap firmly back on his head.

“Where are you going?” he asks as he kicks off his shoes and pads toward the kitchen in his mismatched socks (one is green, the other is striped).