“Is he awake?”

“No, he isn’t.”

“I could’ve sworn I saw him move just a second ago.”

Something is rearranged. A curtain, perhaps, or a blanket.

“How long has it been?”

A bated breath, and then a sigh.

“I’ve stopped counting.”

-----

“Jongin?” Dohee says. A swirl of emotions passes over her face - surprise, confusion, excitement.

Hyung glances sideways at me. “You know each other?”

“It’s nice to meet you,” I say, offering her my hand before Dohee can say anything else. She stares at it. Slowly, she reaches out and shakes it.

“So what did you need help with?” Hyung asks, pulling out a chair beside Dohee. Dohee won’t stop looking at me, and since there is nothing I can say at this moment, I sit down beside hyung.

“You look so much alike,” Dohee comments.

Hyung turns in his chair to give me a wink as though being my adopted brother were such a humorous secret. “Well, we’re brothers after all.”

Abruptly, Dohee asks, “Do you like to paint, Taemin?”

“I haven’t tried.”

“Hm,” Dohee says while pointedly looking at me. I look away, hoping she understands the message I’m trying to get across. Later. Let’s talk later.

“So I had a question about this formula,” Dohee says. Hyung hunches over her textbook as she shows him her calculator. I watch the both of them, afraid that the soundtrack of my heart beating wildly in my ears can be heard from the other side of the room.

I excuse myself and walk outside, ignoring the way Dohee’s eyes trail after me. I call Sehun, but he doesn’t pick up. On my fifteenth try, he answers.

“What?”

“Why didn’t you pick up?”

“I’m with Sunyoung. We just got out of a movie.” I hear his phone vibrate. “You called me a million times. You miss me or something?”

“Hyung likes Dohee,” I blurt out.

Over the phone, I can hear Sunyoung say, “Who are you talking to?”

“Hold on,” Sehun says to me. “Jongin,” he answers Sunyoung. He returns to his phone, his voice louder and more distorted than before. “Sorry, what?”

“Pay attention for once in your life, Sehun.”

“What’s your deal? I picked up.”

Calm down, Jongin. “Just shut up for a second.” I count the seconds that pass. “Sehun?”

“You told me to shut up, so I did.”

I’m getting a headache. “I’m calling you because I need … I need …” I don’t know what I need. Sympathy? Advice? “Hyung likes Dohee,” I try again.

“What do you mean, likes her? How does he know her?”

“She’s one of the people he tutors.”

“You’re saying he likes her romantically?”

“Yes.”

“Well, .”

I lean against the railing and massage the temples of my head. An incessant pulse beats behind my forehead, as if there were a beast banging on a gong.

“But you guys are dating, right?”

I don’t know what to call it. “I have no idea.”

“Then get an idea. Make it official.”

“I can’t. Not anymore.”

“Why not?”

“Because he’s my brother,” I say, as if that’s the only explanation.

“What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know.”

“You guys are close. You could always share -”

“Sehun,” I warn.

“Sorry.” He adds, “I mean it. That . And I don’t know what to tell you.”

I close my eyes. “I don’t know what I want to hear.”

“Where are you, anyway?”

“Yonsei.”

“You want me and Sunyoung to come? She could bring one of her girlfriends and sweep you off your feet. Or better yet, sweep Taemin off his feet.”

“Don’t come. I’ll deal with it.”

“How are you going to -”

“I’ll deal with