I’ve been waiting for this day since forever and it felt really great. Even I have forgiven him from the moment I fell in love with him. Because, falling in love was never been friendly with hatred. In order to love, you need to forgive. That way you will experience a great rollercoaster of loving.

I put the Popsicle on my mouth, sipped it in my mouth to taste the sugar on my tongue. However, tears started to fall down to my cheek. I was taken aback by it but everything in me did felt horrible—even with the Popsicle in my mouth.

I just couldn’t deny that dad was two-timing. It was like they weren’t married, and I wasn’t born. He just felt like he was solo with no responsibility in his life. For God’s sake, he has a wife who is heartbroken and a daughter that have relapse on Anorexia. At least, try to play the guilty card for once. At least, don’t be a .

At least, try not to be selfish.

Sehun stood from his swing and kneel down in front of me. Then, he pulled my head on his shoulder. His fingers brushed my hair repeatedly, soothing me. I could feel his breath on my ears. He smelled like sweat, but it didn’t bother me. I kind of liked it. I’ve never imagined that his shoulder could be a warm shelter. It just made me cry even more. I was starting to hiccup.

Then he said, “Patch up, Little Chicken.”

It has been a long ing time since we hang out together and it has been nice to have him as a company. We were striding our division; he was taking me home even though his house was in the different division—even so, he took me home.

“Thanks though,” I said as we were getting near to my home.

“Nothing at all,” He grinned and nudged me by the shoulder.

“But I’m still mad at you.”

“Ah, bummer,” He feigned a disappointment. “I thought it was over.”

“Work harder, head.”

“Fine,” We stopped as we got to a white house with a little garden on the left side of the house. It was mine, the most unpleasant house at the entire division. Except that this time it had a white minivan on the parking lot. But it still looks cold.

Then I looked at Sehun, and I just stood still because I didn’t know how to say goodbye for all these years of splitsville. Plus, he was a kid no more—he was a teenager, famous teenager with incredible features and I just couldn’t deny that his face was beautiful.

“Bye.” I waved a little groggily before walking backwards to my front porch, just to watch his face—or yes, whole of him walking down the street to leave.

It was, again, me alone.

I walked over my porch, taking my time to turn the knob. I heard voices from inside; one was definitely my father and the other one was a woman and I would bet $1000 that it was the same girl that he hooked up with in the couch. We caught ourselves in a gaze and I could tell she feel guilty about it and I trust her because sometimes a stranger is believable than your own people. I could prove it.

The woman snatched her fur coat from the couch and ran past me.

The only thing in the room was the dad I never met and the daughter.

By morning, nobody was home. Everybody has left me alone as usual and a post-it note on the couch where dad had his satisfaction satisfied, I left earlier cuz work I’ll give u a box of J.co when I got home xoxo mom, it literally said.

And I smiled.

I pulled out the post-it and shoved it down my pocket; at least I got one good thing in my pocket. It was a good start after a very terrible end. Then I locked the door before I could stride over to the bus stop.

Hara can’t pick me up like usual because her car apparently wrecked—as in dead—because her brother shoved her car against a big tree, the thing was he just used before he successfully shoved the car. Yang family has never been a chill family and the children were pretty ed up but they were still a family. They still have each other for a back up. I had only Hara.

“Hey,” A sound came up beside me as well as a red convertible car came in a stop. I looked directly at the source and found Sehun on the driver seat. “Need a ride?”

I smiled, “I thought it was Jin’s?”

“Nah, I’ve been a very good boy.”

“I doubt that.” I smirked and he opened the door for me.

I jumped into the car and closed the door, feeling like I just ate a bag of sugar. The rush was there and my heart felt like it wanted to run away. My palms were sweating and I had to scoot nearer to the window to keep myself a bit calm. But a few minutes on the drive, I thought it wasn’t a very good idea because my hair was disheveled and running everywhere—If I just leaned comfortably against the seat, this wouldn’t happen at all. I still have fabulous hair.

“I think we might have to take a stop for a while.” Sehun said, locking his phone and put it back between his legs.

“What?”

“My friend needs a ride,” Sehun said, glancing at me. “You’re okay with that?”

“Yeah, totally.” I sounded like Mari.

He turned right and not long after a few turns we got into another division. The division was a bit far from our home and I’ve never been into this division before. The division was filled with huge houses that looked like a mansion and the cars were a lot expensive than Sehun’s but the division was a bit quiet. Ours were loud with scouts and just children playing around the road randomly also we had a main park that never go sleep. There would always be people in the park.

“What the hell?” My mouth dropped wide as we passed houses by houses.

“I know it’s unbelievable, but it’s here.”

“Who lives here?”

“Jin and Jongin, but Jin never needs a ride—“

“Because he’s rich as ?” I tried to finish his sentence.

“That could work too.” He smirked.

I smiled widely.

A few minutes later, he stopped at a big house with a tall white fence. Sehun honked and answered by dog barks. It just wasn’t one bark but multiple of barks. The barks weren’t deep and scary but it was actually cute. I stood my knees at the seat to look a better view at the puppies. I could hear Sehun’s amusing chuckle beside me but I kept popping my neck up to have a slight view at the puppy. It was so hard because the fence was high and there were like this huge parking lot that took up half of my view.

I could see the front door was open and a back view of Jongin came into my eyes, his hands were trying to shove his puppies inside. I couldn’t even see a single puppy. Then he turned around and found me standing up in the seat. I instinctively jumped down, causing my knees to hit the dashboard solidly.

“,” I cursed under my breath and hugged my knees frantically.

“Are you okay?” Sehun asked, reaching out my hand with a loud laugh.

“Shut up.” I threw him a look.

I was rubbing my knees to ease the pain as Jongin jumped into the convertible. I shot up and sat straight with palms brushing my knees under the dashboard. Jongin’s head popped in the middle of our seats.

He looked to Sehun and grinned, “Thanks.” And then he looked directly at me who was trying so hard to smile under a lot of pain.  He smiled at me too but his gaze told me that he was surprised I was here in Sehun’s convertible.

“Hi.” I tried.

“You are Mari’s friend, right?” He started.

“Yeah, but I go by Ahn Jisoo, too.” I answered a little too sarcastic. I didn’t mean to but people always refer me to Mari’s friend… that seemed what people think of me. It became glued to my forehead and I didn’t like it. But he seemed to sense about it when he decided to pop his head back to where it supposed.

Our ride was rather loud with radio music and Jongin talking to Sehun almost every minute. I just shut my mouth and busy brushing my knees that never better from the accident. It still stung. Then we got into the school’s parking lot which already packed with cliques and of course their clique include too.

By the time he called off the engine, I took off my seatbelt and went out. Apparently when I was in my legs, my right leg (that got hit quite harder than the other one) can’t go straight—Only the tip of my right leg that could touch the ground. So I’m officially limping.

“Thanks for the ride.” I pressed a small smile on my mouth and strode away before the rest of his gang could hang around the convertible car.

Then I looked back to see him one time. The boys were all around him, laughing and being boys. It just struck me that after years of living in the same world, we seemed to shift into a different world. He just wasn’t the same anymore, and we did too. We still had that tension—I hate it so much—and we just didn’t have the same talk anymore.

As much as I loved that his eyes reminded me of the old times.

We just weren’t us anymore.

Having to limp to the designated class was hard and majority of people were looking at me; some were confused, some think I was crazy. Plus, Hara and Mari were nowhere to be found (or maybe because I took a shortcut to the class and I had my eyes on the floor). I text-ed them several times and no one actually replied.

So, I went alone for the first time in a long time. I sat somewhere near the window, so I could watch the sky—pathetic, I know, but it always works when I got bored with lecture—and a nice wind to cool me up. I waited for the class to start with a game in my phone. It actually worked effectively both in killing time and avoiding social interaction. I love my phone.

Then, the bell rang. Students start to flood in to class. I was prepared with my phone, and textbooks. I felt someone sit beside me. But I brushed it off because I tried to not care and tried to take care of my business. I kept tapping on the phone, trying to keep my guy stepping on the right side of the sidewalk. It was so frustrating that I end up giving more focus than I could possibly do in class.

“Hey.” A hand touched my shoulder. I looked up, and jumped—again. It left my other knee hit the table, loud enough to make half of the class to put their attention in me. It hurt, and I was embarrassed. But not as embarrassed when I saw Jongin in my table. I was so shocked that my phone flipped. Jongin looked composed, and his sunkissed skin was glowing like Edward Cullen, one thing I can’t handle. He suddenly looked so cool sitting beside me. Or maybe that’s because a school somebody actually sat beside me for the first time. After Mari.

“Hi,” I brushed off the thoughts. “I didn’t know we are in the same class.”

“Well, I don’t think so too.”

I chuckled all my nervous away, “So…”

“You jumped again.” He chuckled, too.

“It’s not a surprise when you know me well.”

“I’d like to know you well.” He shot.

I didn’t know what I was going to say. I was taken aback. But then I remember Mari, and all the people that tried to know me well just to go after Mari. Which I know now that Mari, of all people, can’t have that kind of approach. But everyone seemed to think the latter, including Jongin. I suppress a smile, “You don’t really need to do that for Mari’s phone number.”

Jongin looked confused, but he came around with a chuckle, “Did everyone really do that to you?

“You have no idea.”

“I have a glimpse now.”

We both went quiet before he shot another words to my face, “But I really want to know you.”

“Mari?”

“Not Mari. You.”

“Me?” I was seriously… wow… what did I eat today? Going for a ride with Sehun a few hours really changed my life. “You can’t possibly want to know me well.”

Jongin looked interested. He put his head on his palms. He furrowed his brows, but his lips were still playing in a smile.

“Look, I am the laziest person you’d meet.”

“Try me.”

“I spent my last weekend binging on American Horror Story.” I looked proud. I am proud.

“Which season? I never really like the Coven.”

My mouth almost fell down to the deepest pit of South Korea. But my heart went pounding so hard. I didn’t know which part should I be worried for; how he actually watch American Horror Story, or he actually shared the same opinion as me. He saw me bewildered and took me deeper, “I like Asylum.”

I shook my head. “You can’t deny that Taissa Farmiga and Evan Peters are really good on each other.”

“True. But I’d prefer a whole plot than a ship.”

I smirked, “Then you can’t know me, because I am a hopeless romantic on OTP.”

“So, you like Coven best?” He tested me.

“Murder House,” I shrugged. “Asylum is a bit… disturbing for me.”

“You like it soft.”

“A little harsh in the edge is better.”

He talked straight away, “I’m sorry I mistaken you as Mari’s friend, Jisoo.”

Jongin offered his hand. I shook them well. We were both smiling at each other, knowing that both of us will watch American Horror Story, or anything, together anytime soon. Also, because he was the one to admit that I was finally Ahn Jisoo. It shouldn’t be the first time. It was the result that counted, not first impression. If it were first impressions that matter the most, I’d die from the little things they pointed at me because of Mari. I’ve never liked to pretend someone I was not.

I like being alone, but I hate being a shadow.