LISTEN TO: THE ROAD BY Z.TAO

Luhan had found a room that he called “the den” during one of his late night strolls and they had moved their gatherings out of the living room. It had only been Luhan, Lay and Xiumin in the beginning, the latter two listening as Luhan filled the room with his chatter. Sehun and Tao followed, claiming a love seat in the corner. Kris appeared soon after, taking an armchair in the corner but never taking part in any conversations, as if quietly looking over (observing) them.

Suho, Chanyeol and Chen straggled in afterward, one by one. But the new presence only took away from the room’s atmosphere. It was interesting how half of them had become withdrawn and lifeless, while the other half was flourishing, if only by contrast.

Lay was sitting on the sofa with Luhan’s legs on his lap. Luhan said something, Suho said something and Chen commented something. But all Lay could focus on was Chen’s side profile. The straight eyebrows, the high cheekbones, the way the corners of his lips curled up . . .

“Lay. Lay?” Luhan asked, voice muffled.

The hanging corpse flashed before his eyes. The corpse with only half a face, the cheekbones, the sharp jawline that seemed to be able to cut through glass. It was Sehun, the blonde hair, the dangling figure. But Chen? Why wouldn’t the image go away? He couldn’t breathe and he was back at the ruins, his lungs burning and smoke choking him. He could hear the creak as the noose swung in the wind.

Sehun, the wind said.

Chen.

Sehun.

Jongdae.

“Jongdae,” Lay gasped as he fell back into reality. But the den melted away and all he could see was the man who now turned towards him with an indescribable emotion on his face.

“Kim Jongdae!” The name was the key that unleashed the flood from the past. Bits and pieces of memories, flashes of scenes, beginnings and endings, all flew around him in a whirlwind.

He stood up, ignoring Luhan’s squawk, and advanced towards the man as everything came back. “I remember now!” he exclaimed. “We were childhood friends, best friends. We always played together and we-“

His friend stopped him with a harsh chuckle. “Congrats on finally remembering,” he said, tone chilling. “You’re right, we did always play together. But you’re wrong, we were never best friends. We played together but I hated you.” He stopped, studying Lay’s reaction and smirking. “I laughed when I found out your family was killed.”

Family? Killed?

Lay stared in horror and the man laughed in his face. Who was this man? The Jongdae in his memories radiated sunshine and innocence. The man’s sneer swam in Lay’s vision.

“Your family was killed and you ran away, don’t you remember now?” Chen jeered. 

“W-why?” Lay asked, broken voice barely above a whisper.

“Why were they killed? I don’t know, probably because I wasn’t the only one who hated you all. So rich, so much money, but so what? Kai used to play with us, remember? Then your dad sold him off and you forgot he even existed. Because you’re better than all of us and nothing mattered to you. I was so happy when my dad said rioters stormed your mansion and killed everyone. And I wanted to find you so badly. See what you were like when you knew you were nothing. You’re nothing,” Chen spat. His tone was full of disgust and his words stumbled over themselves; he had been preparing for this moment for so long, his script written and re-written so many times, that they poured out in an avalanche now.

“No, no, stop!” Stop, stop, stop.

Something wet trickled down his face and he didn’t understand the words spewing from Chen’s mouth. Chen was Jongdae, his friend. And his family? And Kai? What did he mean?

“I’ve been waiting for you to remember,” Chen continued over Lay’s inner cries. “But this is so disappointing. you're so clueless, but of course, you thought everyone liked you. But no one does. Just ask Suho! And even if you remembered, you’d never know how much I despise you. Look at you,” he mocked. “Staring at me with that wounded expression as if the world is against you and you’re the poor victim.”

“But we’re friends,” Lay tried again, not able to – not willing to – comprehend anything and latching onto the shreds of the past still in reach. The only memories he had were all a lie. What the ing ? He refused to comprehend.

“Do I have to repeat myself?” Chen screamed. “We played together when we were kids and I hated you! I was so happy when your family died and I wanted to find you to laugh in your face! It must be fate for us to be here right now. Do you understand?!”

There had been relative peace for the past days, but it didn’t last long and this time, it was Lay who ran out and locked himself in his room.

Nothing had made sense since he woke up in this damned place that day, but he tried so hard. He tried to figure it out, to understand, and then he tried to ignore it and now couldn’t even try. He tried to remember and when he finally did, it was torn apart by merciless hands and set on fire. When he closed his eyes, he could still see Jongdae. They explored forests and played with water guns and sprawled on the lawn, talking under the shining sun and sparkling stars.

He could still hear Jongdae’s glorious laughter . . . had it all been ruse? He was so stupid, so ing stupid and naïve.

Noise sounded outside his door and he froze.

The doorknob jiggled and then, “He locked it.”

Xiumin.

“The locks in this place are really weak.” Luhan. “Let me try.”

Quickly – quietly – Lay slipped under the covers as the door gave one last protest before swinging open. Lay cracked open an eye to see Xiumin and Luhan tiptoeing in as if afraid of breaking him further.

“Oh, he’s asleep,” Xiumin said.

Luhan tsked. “Poor boy. Chen’s an .” Xiumin sighed and turned to leave, but Luhan remained, studying Lay. “What do you think?”

“About what?”

“Everything.”

“It’s messed up and I hope we get an explanation soon.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“Kill them all!”

“Where is the boy?”

He opens the window and jumps with his eyes shut. It’s not a graceful landing, the impact jarring, and he scrapes his knees. But he pulls himself up and he runs.

He doesn’t look back but he can hear the angry shouts. He wishes he can go back and find his family. He has to protect them! But he knows he won’t be able to do anything to help them.

He keeps running.

He has nothing now, nothing except for the clothes on his back and the gun in his hand. The gun that his father never had the time to properly teach him how to use, but no matter. It will protect him now.

He hears Jongdae’s laughter and he trips. Leering specters howling with tears of laughter surround him, whipping at him. Fallen from the throne, they sing, they coo, they taunt.

Get away from me! he cries, trying to tear them apart.

But they just laugh. You’re nothing now, just like us! Join us!

He scrambles up and runs, trying to block out the cackles. They trail behind him, following lazily and mockingly, as he sprints under the night sky.

The stars twinkle.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Sehun entered the room and Lay reacted too slowly.

“Don’t pretend you’re asleep. I saw you,” Sehun said as he sat down on the side of the bed.

Lay grimaced and opened his eyes. “Why are you here?”

“Checking on you,” the other answered, wounded.

With a tired sigh, Lay pushed himself up. “I think I can understand why Tao hates me now,” he muttered.

“Don’t take what Chen said to heart.” Lay stared at him and Sehun chewed on his lower lip. “Yeah, I know that sounds lame but I’m serious! He sounded really crazy and you probably shouldn’t believe him?”

“Oh.” Lay stared down at his hands.

“And we were friends before too.”

“Wait, what?” Lay asked, looking up curiously.

Sehun grimaced. “I don’t think anyone can really be friends with someone like him, but yeah, we used to hang out but then kind of drifted apart, I guess.”

“Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

“I told Tao!” Sehun defended himself, and Lay felt a strange twinge inside him.

“And he said something about asking Suho –”

“He did?”

“Yeah, in the middle of his rants. I guess I’m the only one that caught it,” Sehun replied proudly. “Anyway, I asked him, but he wouldn’t tell me anything.”

“Oh.”

Sehun stood up. “Maybe he’ll come find you later, so I’ll let you continue pretending to sleep or whatever.”

“I wasn’t pretending,” Lay protested

“G’night, dream about me!”

“Wha-” Lay sputtered, but Sehun waved him off and shut the door with a soft click.

His third unwarranted visit of the day did indeed turn out to be Suho, although it wasn’t that unwarranted. And so Lay didn’t pretend to be asleep. Instead, he shot straight up at the soft knock on his door.

“Come in,” he called, attempting to keep his voice steady.

The door cracked open and Suho peaked in. “Am I disturbing you?” he asked.

“Oh, oh no!” Lay exclaimed, with a little too much excitement. “I mean, no. Please come in.” He realized belatedly that it might be more polite if he stood up to welcome his guest, but he stayed in bed and Suho walked in with timid steps.

“So uh . . .”

“Sit,” Lay suggested.

“No, it’s fine. I’ll just stand.” And so Suho stood, awkwardly. Lay waited, wondering if he could ask questions. His mind was all over the place and he didn’t feel like himself. He didn’t know how he was supposed to act, or even feel, for that matter.

“Chen said to ask you something?” Lay finally said, not able to stand the silence (not able to contain his curiosity).

The man visibly paled. “Yes, I came about that. He’s my roommate, and we aren’t too close, but I think I know him better than anyone else in this place. I think he just meant that I also agree no one likes you, which is false, but I want to talk about something else.”

“Oh?” Lay raised an eyebrow.

“You have something about you that makes you powerful.”

“What,” Lay asked flatly.

Suho smiled tightly, his lips forming more of a grimace. “You are not the strongest nor most popular, but you attract the ones who are to be under your control –”

“Wait, what?” Lay interrupted, but Suho paid him no heed.

“Luhan is a social butterfly, but he listens to you the most. Xiumin and Kris are quiet but commanding, and yet –”

“Hold up!” Lay exclaimed, and Suho finally stopped. “I don’t know what you’re saying, but I know that Kris definitely has nothing to do with me.”

Suho gave him a long stare and said, “All I need you to know is that you must be careful of your power.” With that, he stood up to leave.

“No,” Lay said, shaking his head and swinging his legs off the bed to follow the other man. “Suho, you can’t just tell me this- and no- wait-”

But the man left and the door slammed in Lay’s face.

He was alone. Again. And he was confused and unsettled. Again.

this .

what is happening? /awkward shrug/

i feel like things are moving too quickly, but idk how to slow down

(then again, this is inspired by 48 hours, and in that fic everyone killed everyone in 48 hrs so...)