Lay’s eyes flew open, but the darkness was still there, enshrouding. His limbs were so heavy, weighed down by sticky strings from the world of nightmares and his preconscious mind. The smell of incense and white chrysanthemum flowers still overpowered his senses. The single swaying lightbulb flickered and sputtered. Maybe it was coming to the end of its life as well.

Darkness softened the edges and boundaries. Lay’s eyes darted around, the rest of his body frozen and immobile. What did each corner hide—his inner demon, his true self or the ghost of his past self?

There was a rush of air and cackles filled his ears. Specters—remnants of his dreams and memories—flew around him in whirlwind. Jongin, Jongdae, Tao, Sehun, Xiumin, Luhan, those faceless rioters, the ones he killed. They joked and laughed and cried and screamed and raved and sobbed. Their raw anger and regret slashed him apart and he could only stare in a trance.

The door was thrown open.

The ghosts shrieked at the disturbance and disappeared. Numb and too far gone, Lay merely squinted at the crack of light.

Kris.

Lay expected the man to stalk over and take out all his hatred on Lay. But he stayed at the doorway. His smoldering and frigid fury seeped over, cracking the floor between them.

It seemed that Luhan had disappeared, the latest mystery of this mansion. So Lay waited for the accusations.

After two heartbeats, it came. “What did you do to him this time?” 

“What are you talking about?” he asked, the usual defense. 

“You know what I mean.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Stop wasting time.”

Lay sighed. Yes. Yes, he did know.

Years ago, Luhan had gone on a death mission. But Lay had only suggested it! Luhan was the one who took it upon himself. And he hadn’t died, not really.

“None of us can do anything in this damn house,” Lay decided to say. Without registering when he had broke through the ghostly chains and stood up, he found himself near the doorway. A few steps still lay between the two, but he could taste the bitterness emanating from Kris. The smell of gunpowder tickled his nose, or maybe it was ashes.

He sneezed.

Kris didn’t say “bless you.” Instead, he lowered his already cold voice and said, “Yes, but at the same time, we can do anything. Who can control what we do?”

“I didn’t do anything to Luhan.”

“This time.”

Lay swallowed back his reply of “I never did anything to him!” Maybe it was guilt, because in those last moments, he had truly wished for Luhan to disappear off the face of the planet.

“You know,” Kris began in a lilting conversational tone that sent shivers down Lay’s spine. “That was your biggest mistake. It led straight to your downfall. Do you want to know why?”

He had wished Luhan could disappear off the face of the planet. Never to threaten his hold again. And yet, things still spiraled out of control.

“I did everything for Luhan. I would do, I will do, I did do everything for him. Do you understand the feeling of being willing to give up oneself for another? No, of course you don’t. You are selfish. All you cared for was how the world mistreated you. I never understood what you did in your miserable life to have such loyal friends. And by loyal, I mean stupid.

“I love Luhan, but he’s stupid. I told him so many times that he deserved more, but he never listened to me. He only had eyes for Minseok and was happy just following your orders. And yet, you still didn’t trust him.”

Kris lowered his eyes to glower down at Lay. The weight of his bottomless orbs was more than the clanking chains of sins and regret. 

Lay couldn’t breathe.

“You planned to get rid of him, and that went without any complaints.When I saw him in his damaged state, I thought that maybe it was my fault. Maybe I was the reason why you hated him. But then I realized that you are just a heartless, blinded bastard- a paranoid monster.”

Each word was a gavel, pounding out each of Lay’s sins. “So why didn’t you kill me in revenge?” Lay whispered.

Kris let out a choked laugh. “Then I would have become someone like you. Luhan deserved justice.” He cocked his head. His eyes traveled down Lay’s body. Maybe Lay was overthinking, but the piercing gaze stopped at each vital organ. Kris’s lips twisted into a thin smile, as if he was envisioning how Lay would look, ripped apart with his bare hands and mashed back together, recreating Luhan’s image.

“But as I said,” Kris’s voice was breathless, “nothing’s stopping anything from happening now.”

Lay bolted.

~ ~ ~

He tore through the mansion. The vengeful ghosts were back, blinding his senses. He needed to outrun them. He had to! But they were everywhere, outside, inside, wailing. He couldn’t escape. Was this hell? He would rather burn.

Crashing into the wall, falling onto his knees—he raced on in desperation.

“Suho!” he screamed.

The man had appeared in the corner of his vision. He glanced over, unfazed even as Lay ran towards him. He waited until the boy was before him, panting in hysteria. 

Something glinted in his eyes as he placed a hand on Lay’s arm. “Let’s finish the story, shall we?”

If Lay was still in the right state of mind, he would have noticed how powerful Suho suddenly seemed. It would have disturbed him. But as it was, Suho's voice snuffed out all fight in him. He whimpered and let the man lead him into the nearest room.

Suho sat Lay on the bed and resumed his standing position. He observed the boy for a moment and chuckled before saying, “So, where did we leave off? Ah, yes. Your friends became murderers. You yourself became a murderer.” The man sighed. The sympathy in that breath of air didn’t seem to match the overall mockery in the room.

“At first, everyone thought Mr. Oh had committed suicide. It made sense that he couldn’t take the failure of his company. You encouraged the factory workers to riot and your first plan was finally completed. Revenge was taken. The Oh’s were finished in the same way as your family. You had a bit of a conscience left though. You let the Oh son continue living, but the fact that he was still enamored by you plagued you. Young and stupid, you told the boy the truth. And just like his father, he wasn’t strong enough and hung himself.”

The hanging corpse flashed before his eyes. The corpse with only half a face, the cheekbones, the sharp jawline that seemed to be able to cut through glass. He could hear the creak as the noose swung in the wind.

“But you moved on quickly, since you now had to manage your company. You became rich, powerful and you relished the control. But things didn’t always go so smoothly. There were small problems here and there. Like that boy Chanyeol, who didn’t know what he got into and wanted out. You found the kindness in your heart to let him melt away from this dangerous life and live namelessly in a small village.

“That kindness though, had no place in the society you chose. You tried to save it, but it dwindled away. Once, you and your brother were caught in a gunfight. He told you to run. You should’ve stayed and fought side by side with him, but you treasured your life. Though you resisted, you still escaped in the end. And you never saw him again.”

“There’s too many of them! We’re outnumbered, they’re looking for blood and you can’t die. I won’t let you!”

He hates himself, the hate weighs down his limbs, but he runs. Away.

“Luhan had been making you nervous for a long time. You knew it was unfounded, but you couldn’t help it. He was too popular, too well-liked and too skilled at what he did. You tolerated him, but after your brother died, you had no worries anymore. The chance came when the Wang’s threatened to publicize your underground dealings, do you remember?

“So, you sent your trusted friend, Luhan. It was a death trap. You wanted to eradicate all threats at once, and it worked. Luhan was captured and tortured. You could’ve saved him by paying the ransom, but of course you didn’t. And he was killed.”

Of all the things that Suho said, only the last sentence registered in Lay’s mind. His quivering lips dared to ask, “H-he was killed?” How was Luhan killed—dead—if-if-if-and did he say that Sehun hung himself? And Xiumin died? And Luhan died?

Suho glanced at the panic in Lay’s glassy eyes. He took some papers out of his jacket and dropped them in Lay’s lap.

Lay stared at the newspapers.

The headlines seared his eyes.

Oh Corporation bankrupts, Zhang Industry rises: Coincidence?

In Remembrance of the Oh Family

Zhang Industry CEO Mafia Connections?

Deadly Hitman Kris Turns Himself In

Zhang Yixing: Business Tycoon and Mafia Lord

LAY (Zhang Yixing) Arrested with Death Penalty

Zhang Yixing Commits Suicide in Prison

well, well, well, the secret's out

i just wanna say that the mafia parts were kind of inspired by gangnam blues

 and the next chapter (last chapter) is already written but it's hella short

would y'all like me to update tomorrow or after christmas?